alexis! (celebutante) wrote in valloic, @ 2020-04-17 17:17:00 |
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Going screaming into a portal was supposed to be the craziest part of his day. He’d landed in the sand, the Delta in the background. He’d shot a creature and blasted it out of the sky. He remembered screaming and then he woke up in a bed in a weird place, still covered in sand with blood on his face and a general feeling of confusion. He stood up, checked his shirt - it was still ripped. He didn’t think the last part had been a dream, but he’d seen things in the cabin, gone a little crazy in the interim. Hallucinations weren’t new, but usually they were drug-induced and now he wished he had something to take. He’d prefer it to the obvious psychotic break he was experiencing right now. He still had his chainsaw attached, had the gun nestled against his back in the holder he’d fashioned. But he stumbled out the door, trying to figure out where he was. He’d noted the devices in the apartment and sort of stared at the other chainsaw. It was similar to his own, but seemed like a newer model. Not one he’d seen. There was something that looked like a screen, but thinner than he was accustomed to. He poked at it for a moment. Definitely nothing he’d seen before. He heard the sound of something ringing and turned around, looking for the source of it. It was a very small box-looking thingy with a screen lighting up. Only tapping the screen multiple times did not make it stop. He quickly backed away from it and found another door. Opening it, he found that it led out to a hallway. He stilled, leaving the door open and looking around. “Where the fuck am I?” He saw a floor of doorways and he was prepared to go down the hall when he heard the ringing sound again. Somehow it felt like it was echoing and he pressed his hand to his ear, but he couldn’t really do that with the chainsaw hand. Eventually the ringing stopped, but he was still in the hallway trying to figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do and he had to admit he felt a little woozy. A really good green smoothie, that was what Alexis wanted - she dressed accordingly for her first day of work at the DOA, wearing an outfit that she seemed ultra Instagram-worthy: a soft pink dress, a grey cardigan, brown ankle boots, and some delicate jewelry. In her hair, which spilled in wavy spun gold over her shoulders, she slipped in a whimsical Alice band and called it a day. It would be a good day, once she got her green smoothie - and she planned to stop on the way to new gainful employment, because she needed the pick-me-up and the nutrients to - “Oh my god, Ash, ew!” she exclaimed, interrupting her inner monologue when she saw her next door neighbor standing in the hallway, stained with blood and ick - at least she was pretty sure it was him. Maybe. He just looked different? She nearly dropped her own phone, deciding that slipping it into her purse and focusing her, blinking cottony blue eyes, was more important than scrolling through texts. “Okay, first of all, what happened? Second of all, what South Korean skincare regimen did you use because you literally just turned back the hands of time like twenty years.” Ash hadn’t really been expecting anyone to show up. He was ready to leave and find somewhere else to go, but then he heard the door open. He saw the girl that walked out and was about to ask her if she knew where he was when she started talking to him and used his name. There were a lot of questions. How did she know his name was the top one. After that he was curious about why she thought he was younger than he was. He looked down at his arm, the one with the chainsaw attached to it and wondered if this was real or just some pain induced hallucination. He’d definitely not had anything to drink or anything else in his system. “Who are you and what does skincare have to do with anything?” He looked back at her. “Are you even real? Because there’s a loud box in there and it keeps ringing for some reason and I’m pretty sure I was just in the desert.” He brought his good hand up, running it through his hair, which was a mistake because it was full of both wet and dry blood. “What the fuck happened?” Then he focused on the girl in front of him again. “You one of those things? Deadites? Cause I might not be entirely sure of what’s going on, but I’m not going to let anyone kill me.” Unless he was already dead and this was the afterlife. That would really suck. Alexis’ eyes narrowed, as if she couldn’t believe this was even happening - because how could Ash have been older and now he was young (not like, pedo young - she would have went the other way to find an Adult if that was the case) and it wasn’t as if he was unfortunate-looking either way, but it was just, like. He was hot. Extra hot. Right now. She had an addiction to tall, dark, and dirty - Ted notwithstanding, since he was squeaky clean in pretty much every way, but before him? Mutt, and the assembly line of Mediterranean, suntanned assholes she paraded around with? Mmm. “Of course I’m real, silly,” she tsked, adjusting her purse over her arm. “Not a Deadite either. I was just on my way to work but obviously you’re having a crisis so I can help. Alexis is me,” she introduced herself. “I live next door to you. I mean, older you - clearly you did some time-traveling thing but anyway. How about I show you how to work the loud box and you can wash some of that gross off?” They could go to his place. Blood on the furniture in her apartment was not something she was prepared to deal with. He wasn’t sure he believed it, but he guessed if she could help him with the box. “Alexis.” He didn’t understand why she kept mentioning an older version of himself. “Yeah. I went through a portal and ended up in the desert. But I’m twenty-five. I don’t know what you mean by older.” He did kind of want to get out of the clothes he was in and clean up a little. He was going to have to get some new wraps for his arm. He sighed after a moment once he heard the ringing sound again. “Yeah, all right.” “How do you make it stop? And what is it?” He started back toward the apartment he’d just left and his nose scrunched up when he looked at the small box before looking at the bigger screen. “And what is that?” “One thing at a time, hot stuff,” she winked, making herself at home in Ash’s apartment (again, since she’d been here for whiskey the other night) once they were inside, by tossing her purse onto the counter and slipping out of her cardigan, hanging it over the back of a chair. Bare shoulders were important when explaining things like a ringing box thing. “This,” she held it up. “Is a mobile phone. You’re not from that far back, are you? It’s like a smaller, more compact version of that bigger plastic box you hang on the wall with the really long snarly-cord thing.” Surely that made sense. “It has a bunch of buttons so if you want it to stop ringing just hit cancel. There, see?” One manicured finger swiped on the screen. “If you want to make a call hit the green button. Now - “ She grinned charmingly, all starshine sparkles and confetti. “How about you go wash off that grossness and I’ll find some clean old-timey clothes that old guy you wears?” Nothing fashionable, because Ash seemed to stick with flannel and jeans like some kind of lumberjack. “Are you okay working the shower or do you need me to get in there with you?” she asked. Look, she was helping. “It was 1982,” he said after a moment. He didn’t remember mobile phones looking like that. “How’d they get so small? Never had one myself, but seen the richer people with em before.” Weren’t too many rich people in Elm’s Grove, but there were a few of them. All he knew was that he’d never had one. If he had, he’d have found some way of getting the fuck out of that cabin. But he didn’t really understand it. He watched as she handled the mobile phone and made sure to look at what she was pointing at. But then she mentioned getting clean and he sighed. Sure, it’d be nice, but he wasn’t sure what to do, really. “They got doctors around this place?” As he asked, he twisted the chainsaw to disconnect it from his arm and took off the metal band he’d made to stay on his arm. He tried to ignore the dark red stain on the cloth that was tied around his arm. “Can you find me something to dress this with when I’m done? I figure I should probably put some clean bandages or something on it. Just cut my hand off earlier.” Like that was normal. “It was possessed. Tried to kill me. Didn’t have a choice. My girlfriend’s head bit my hand.” He moved to set the gun down and took his holster off. “Guess I should probably get that looked at if I’m not dead or finished hallucinating after this.” He eyed her for a moment before picking the gun back up and retreating to the bathroom to shower. Just in case, he didn’t want to be caught off guard. That chainsaw hand thing was wild, but Ash had mentioned it before - along with Deadites (and she was preeeetty sure Stevie watched those Evil Dead movies, she seemed the type), so Alexis figured it was pretty par the course and he wasn’t unconscious so it was probably fine? Right? This was why she had simply been a secretary at Ted’s vet clinic - she maintained absolutely zero interest in anything medical because blood was gross and cutting off limbs was gross and people were just - nyyyuughhhhh. “So you’re single, is what you’re saying?” she surmised, flirtatiously, and of course she’d focus on that because if she focused on how her neighbor was young and dumb and handless, she’d scream. Right, dressing the wound. She could do that, at least, so she found clean cloth and - well, he had the soap and water in the shower, so. Alexis set the pile of spare clothes by the bathroom door. “I’m just gonna leave these here for you,” she called, not planning to burst into a steamy shower and get herself shot in the face. No thank you. He didn’t comment back to the thing about being single. Instead he left to shower. Once he’d finished his shower, he tied a towel around his waist and opened the door, grabbing the clothes and going back into the bathroom. They were sort of like he wore already, but they seemed a little bigger on him than he was expecting. He’d get a belt after he stepped out of the bathroom. After getting dressed, he sat down and redressed his arm. It was about as annoying as the first time he’d had to do it. Then he came out of the bathroom, walking into the living room and sitting down. “All right, blondie. I need to know where this is and why we’re here.” He reached over to attach the hook up for the chainsaw back on his arm. He didn’t attach the chainsaw back, but that was just because he didn’t figure he needed to right now. Could he not with the chainsaw? Well, at least he wasn’t bleeding all over the place. That was a good sign. “I liked you better when you were crotchety,” Alexis shared, though she didn’t mind the nickname Blondie too much. It was cute. Sort of. “Okay, so, this - “ She gestured vaguely around them. “Is a city called Vallo. It’s like, some magic-powered city. It brings in people from whole different universes and it brought some older version of you, until you woke up a hottie with a body and now it’s like, extra weird.” She paused, flipping hair over her shoulders, with want for something to do with her hands. “So I guess just...hang out and try not to murder people with your hand until things get fixed somehow. Which - no one will know how, so don’t bother looking. It’s gotta happen naturally.” If there was something Ash knew how to do, it was apparently not bleed all over the place. He was also fairly skilled in the art of not dying and putting together mechanical things that he needed. He’d seen a hand somewhere, but he didn’t know what it was or how it worked or if it even fit this version of his arm attachment. Who knew what was going on? “Yeah.” He bit back the urge to ask her to resist constantly bringing up the older him because he didn’t know anything about it and he wasn’t sure he wanted to, but it was just one of those things. “Been a long day of almost getting killed and having to kill everyone around me.” As an explanation for his current mood. He listened as she spoke, trying to take in all the information and not just take it at ‘lying’ value. A magic city. He wasn’t too thrilled about the concept because he’d been around magic spells and things and that was how he ended up in the desert in the first place. “I don’t just murder people to murder them, you know. Might’ve been slightly possessed before, but I’m okay now.” He’d considered the number of compliments she’d given him at that point. “Extra weird,” was what he chose to focus on. “Look, I’m not sure I’m all that thrilled about my being here, but I’m not sure I was all that thrilled about where I was before, so I guess this’ll have to do.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You got an idea where this older me keeps his drinks? I have a feeling I’m gonna need one and I’m not overly pressed about the fact that the time’s too early.” A pause. “And what’s the deal with this older me and you anyway?” “There’s no deal. I mean, it’s nothing - I got robbed and he invited me over to drink whiskey, and that’s it. So we’re like, friends I guess,” Alexis replied, getting up to rummage through the liquor cabinet - or whatever, it was where she noticed Ash kept the booze and sure enough, there was that whiskey bottle they’d nearly emptied. Maybe now was a good time to finish it off. Except she had to go to work and younger, dirtier Ash probably needed medical attention. Before she set down the bottle and the glass, she asked, “Okay, so, you take a shot - and then I show you where the hospital is so they can make sure you’re not going to die of infection by chainsaw hand?” Like who even did that? “Okay. Just wanted to be clear about it.” He was quiet for a moment. “Don’t have a lot of friends right now.” They’d been killed, so things were a little dicey. He really hoped she didn’t end up dying or getting possessed, because he was a little tired right now. “Sure. One shot and then I’ll go.” Because he did want to go. He was still kind of riding on an adrenaline kick, so the wooziness of it all was still only very slight, but he was also pretty sure if he didn’t go, it would be bad for him. “I’ve kept it…” He looked at his arm. “Mostly clean.” Minus the part where he got blood and sand all over himself. And rolling around in the basement for a time before that. “It should be fine.” Should be fine. God, he was just as bad as Alexis was in terms of assessing medically-related damage; honestly, if she had lost a limb she’d probably freak out, sure, but then some weird kind of calm would kick in and she’d also enter the ‘it’s fine’ camp even though it clearly wasn’t. Birds of a feather, or something. “Well, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere and am still your friend no matter what age you are.” She poured them both shots of whiskey, because why the hell not, and handed one over to Ash. “Here’s to chainsaws,” she toasted, then knocked it back - mmm, ashtrays and medicine. Her favorite flavor. After being attacked by his own hand and having something of a mental breakdown, it was hard to be anything but unmoved by the loss of his hand. He was sure, once things settled down, he’d be aware of it or at least care more than he had the capacity for right now. But he’d figure it out. He wasn’t going to have his hand back, so he might as well get used to it. “Groovy.” It was the first word that popped into his head. He took the drink, laughing slightly about the mention of his chainsaw. “To chainsaws,” he agreed, glancing over at his own before tipping the glass back. He could have used a lot more than that, but it was probably best not to thin his blood too much. “Alright, Blondie. Let’s go find a doctor.” Figured they’d overreact, but he could deal with that for a minute. He pushed himself out of his chair. “Think they’ll make me stay long?” He reached over to pick up the mobile phone. Just in case he needed it for something. “What’s your number in case I need to get out of there?” She was the only one he knew that might help, so he figured he’d ask. “I guess it depends on if you’re a good patient and earn a lollipop or not,” she teased, plucking the phone from Ash’s hands. Alexis did her due diligence, programming the number in, showing him how to access his contacts list - unsurprisingly, he didn’t have many people in there. Or like, zero people - not counting her. So that was a thing. “But I’m sure it won’t be that long.” She also sent him a text (a few smiley face and heart emojis) so that he’d have her message readily accessible, in case the contacts list thing was too hard to grasp. “Alright, let’s go. You need a better bandage and I need a green smoothie.” Just another day in the life! |