WHERE The Sanctuary WHEN Oct 29th, morning WHAT Uh waking up awkward. Some serious talks about feeling lost. STATUS Complete! WARNINGS Non-explicit nudity, memory loss? Sadness & awkwardness.
It had been two weeks of non-stop action. Two weeks of surprises, of worries shining through. Of meeting children that were now adults, and children that hadnât made it there yet. Almost two weeks of loud, rambunctious toddlers and a shy, nervous six-year-old being attached to one of them at all times. The last few days of it had felt more normal, in it all, even out of time and place, because they had each other.
All of that, at least, explained the headache upon waking. The sheer noise from the last two weeks piling up on top of gaps in memories and a haze that Atreus hadnât quite fought his way through while he was waking up.
One thing he knew for sure, however, was that it had been months since heâd woken up with a person, in his own current memories. For a brief second, he curled more into the body next to him, enjoying the warmth and the part of a relationship that heâd missed. It took another minute before the rest of him caught up, and Atreus was pulling back in confusion.
He sat up to rub the sleep out of his eyes, half expecting a kid to come running in, since the sun was already peeking through the trees outside and into the high windows of his house. He wasnât expecting to see Lance when he looked at the body snuggled next to him. Even if this wasnât the first time his friend had crashed over, but that was different. That was literal passing out cocooned in blankets and just for the sake of rest and recovery after battle.
This felt weirdly more comfortable, intimate. And it made Atreusâ brain short out, with the lack of memories attached to it drawing up a blank. âUhhhh--â
It wasn't the first time Lance had woken up with a whole bunch of new stuff shoved unceremoniously into his brain. But this was at least gentler than the first. Less the vivid memory of having lived a few more years, less the ever constant war and fighting, the good things just little spots of light in a sea of dark. There wasn't the same physical change, the same level of knowing what had just come flooding back had been history.
Instead it was softer, like the edges of a dream as he floated back to being awake. There was no bolting up in panic and no onslaught of grief and pain to dump him back into a new and colder reality. And so even as his mind started to catch up he was content to stay half asleep, in between. After all he was warm and comfortable and more than okay with the solid weight of someone next to him. Enough so that there was a little noise of protest when Atreus moved.
But it was that movement which stirred Lance, pulling him firmly into the awake camp. And with that came the sobering realization of when and where he actually was.
It was a testament really to how close and comfortable he had gotten around Atreus over the past while that Lance wasn't immediately bolting out of the bed (and probably tripping over something on the way and making the whole thing even more awkward and weird). He peered up at Atreus through half open eyes and while he may not be bolting he was still very much having A Moment of internal panic and screaming. "SoooooooâŠ." he drawled out.
Lance rolled onto his back, pressed the heels of hands into his eyes as his brain started to spin in a million directions as he struggled to catch up with the new curve ball Vallo had just thrown him. "That was - something - " Eloquence, thy name was Lance.
âIs it--â Over? Obviously they were back to their normal ages, and the kids were quiet. Atreus couldnât remember a time in the last week that he wasnât woken up by one of them before he could even attempt, so quietly padded over to the door to the adjacent room before answering his own question. After a quick peek, and then a pause to listen beyond that, just to hear for telltale squeals of using Kratos as a jungle-gym, Atreus slumped slightly.
âThe uh- Kids are gone too.â He wasnât sure if he was relieved or disappointed. Relief was a good portion of it. Atreus wasnât ready for the full-time operation of toddlers, that was for sure. Yrsa had been easy for him here, but she was nearly an adult herself, or at least older than Atreus when he was already setting off on adventures. Jormie and Lore were their own story, but time travel and jötnar made that a job where he didnât have to feel like a father.
But then, the disappointment. The bonding theyâd all done in that period of time was a tough thing to just shut off. Pair that with a sudden bedmate and Atreus reached up to rub his hand over his face in annoyance. âSomething is really only half of it. You okay?â
Even as Atreus got up to check Lance knew. He'd be hard pressed to say how or why, just that he knew. The quiet was an obvious clue, lacking the distinct footfalls and general rambunctiousness of the past two weeks. And more than that it was just a feeling - like whatever had been happening was over with them both waking up the right ages. So he let Atreus take the lead on making sure and tried to cling to those few moments as Atreus did just that as he attempted to make sense of any of it.
It was a strange sort of feeling. To know he was missing two weeks of his life but to not completely feel like he was. He could remember it, most of it at least. The days that had been spent in this time were fairly clear. But the how he'd ended up where his older self had was mostly a mystery. Vague. Lacking any real detail or anything akin to a road map as to how to get back there exactly.
But the feelings remained. Lingering just on the edges of the present. Something warm and really, really nice. Filled with love and care, the sense of home that Lance had been chasing and longing for since Blue had shot them out into space. A longing that even returning to earth hadn't soothed, the war they'd been fighting beating them there and fundamentally changing every idea they'd had about going home.
He sat up in the bed, suddenly keenly aware of being barely dressed and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting one arm on the blanket on his knees and raked a hand through his hair. I'm fine and always lingered on the tip of his tongue at Atreus' question. The default he slipped into when the question actually mattered.
"Ask again tomorrow?" he went with instead, a sheepish sort of look with a shrug of his shoulders. He would be, and physically yeah he was fine. It was just - a lot. And that a lot that was not helped by the other part of the equation - what exactly was the protocol when you woke up half naked in the bed of your friend who for various reasons you'd barely even admitted to yourself you found attractive after spending a handful of days sharing said bed. "You?" he asked.
âSame?â The fact that it sounded more like a question than it did a solid answer was telling. Atreus didnât really know the answer to the very question he asked, so he couldnât blame Lance for not knowing either. He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached around for the clothing that was discarded there, trying to keep distant on any wandering, stray thoughts as they emerged.
Distant was not a thing Atreus did well. His intrusive thoughts had been a lot over the last several months, and he knew he was in no place to dwell there in terms of the future.
âThis isnât the first time for me, with future stuff. Uh- my mom could see the future? Knew it?â Atreus bent down to shove his feet into shorts while he talked, and kept his back to Lance. âWhen she passed, she actually left a huge adventure for my father and me to go on, to spread her ashes in her home realm. She directed us the entire way, by having mapped it all out, because she knew how it would go.â
Theyâd already changed it. That future. But in a lot of ways, it was still the same, too, at least back home. âShe didnât see Vallo, though, so that part was all new. Maybe this realm was beyond her reach. But back home, everything is planned out for years to come. Through Ragnarok, through it all. I didnât realize Vallo would try to rival that.â
A large family sure as fuck beat whatever fresh Hel was in store for him back in the nine realms, though.
Lance looked to the bedside table, a bright post-it note catching his eye first. Don't freak out with a smiley face in his own writing stuck to the lampshade. Clearly aimed at him for this exact scenario. He couldn't help but smirk at it, and reached for the shirt folded neatly on the table on top of a pair of joggers. Apparently he never grew out of being prepared to bolt out of bed at the sound of an alarm at any given moment. But the thought was drowned out by something else. His older self had a side of the bed.
And it was that which hit Lance as somehow more intimate than just simply waking up next to someone. There was a routine. A habit. Lance had never shared space like that with someone before. He and Allura had crashed in each other's bunks from time to time - more out of exhaustion and needing to be close to someone after a particularly hard day. But it had been few and far between with everything else going on and the simple fact sleep itself was in shifts of a few hours when one could manage to find the time.
He tugged the shirt over his head, trying to clear his head of how nice the idea felt. Of how much it just reminded him of how lonely he'd started to feel the past few months. He quickly did the same with the pants and then shuffled out of the blankets and down the bed some more, closer to Atreus.
Lance sat cross legged as he listened to Atreus talk. And while his working knowledge of Norse stuff was pretty light he knew enough to know Ragnarok meant nothing good. "Pretty sure Vallo just - doesn't play by any rules?" he offered with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Do you miss it though? Being on the path she laid out for you?" he asked. He knew that when Atreus said huge adventure that was a long way from an easy walk through the woods, but just because something was hard and filled with danger didn't mean it couldn't be missed. Especially when it was tied to a lost loved one.
âIt really doesnât,â Atreus was a little distant now, trying to not freak out and overthink and get a million steps ahead of himself. That coupled with still processing? He wasnât quite ready to think about any one thing, or let himself focus on anything for long. âUm- Sometimes?â
It was more honest of an answer than he really shouldâve given, since following after a weird prophecy of oneâs life set up by your mother before you were even born was-- weird. âIt made me feel closer to her, even after she was gone. But it was also a set path. Never straight, but set. It gave me a way to go and a place to be and information to be searching for, and I never really had to focus on much else along the way.â
That was probably not a good thing, strictly speaking. They had their way, their path, their mission. His father came along because Faye had asked him to, but Atreus knew a lot of it was his story, and his life now. âSometimes itâs nice to be told what to do so you donât have to figure it out for yourself, right?â
It was a sentiment Lance could relate to. Maybe in a slightly different way, but the feeling behind it was there. Downtime had become an increasingly difficult thing as the months, years, in space had passed. Too much opportunity for his thoughts to go in a million directions and most of them not good. It was better with a mission, when he could laser focus everything into the task at hand. Things were surprisingly simple when it came down to nothing more than making sure your friends and you stayed alive.
"Yeah, I get that," he said. "I miss it too. Having a plan, having a missionâŠ" having a purpose really.
Lance picked at the fabric against his bent knee, suddenly very aware of the quiet in the room. Such a marked difference from the noise of the past two weeks, and there was a pang of sadness at knowing it wasn't about to be broken by a trio of rambunctious children.
"It's been - uh - hard, losing that," he added softly. "I guess I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now," he admitted. "Or where I really fit - in the whole Vallo thing." Which wasn't to say Lance didn't enjoy his life. He did. He had friends and found ways to fill his time. He just felt behind somehow. Like everyone else had started picturing a future for themselves while he had trouble seeing past the next week.
"It's nice to know that might not always be the case, that I could have a future here," he paused and looked up at Atreus. "A really nice one."
âYeah,â Atreus echoed, âI had the same problem when I first got here? I felt really out of place, and just kind of pushed forward, learning how everything worked. Before Vallo, Iâd only ever really traveled or fought. I wasnât sure this,â With a little wave of his hand, he gestured to the walls around him. âWould be anything more than a temporary home.â
It was still difficult to think about, with his knowledge that heâd live longer than most feeling like it was constantly creeping up on him. The worry that heâd outlive half of the people in Vallo, and be stuck here while they all either left or passed on warred with the worry that heâd go home and never see them again.
Atreus blew out a breath and looked back at Lance. âI think youâre smart and resourceful, and youâve got a lot left to learn about yourself. With that kind of future, Iâm looking forward to seeing how all of that plays out.â And he was going to have first-hand experience, it seemed. Even if neither of them were ready for that now - at the very least Atreus knew he wasnât, but maybe the best surprises werenât waiting for someone to be âreadyâ. Heâd just have to take it as it came.
âBut speaking of, Iâve got surprises waiting for me in the barn and I need to get on morning chores before animal revolts happen.â He needed the fresh air, too. Atreus stood and started towards the door. âYou want to come with, or go check in with Shiro and Keith?â
Lance smiled a little at Atreus' words. It was still all a lot to even begin to think about, and he was sure whatever initial thoughts and feelings swimming around in his head at that moment were a precursor to a much larger emotional toll. But it was nice to know his friends had his back in all of it. Friends he apparently still had decades from then. Which was also a nice thought. And while Lance was about five minutes away from a omg what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meltdown (that he was fully planning on holding in until he was alone thank you very much) it was nice to know he had the kind of friend in Atreus that they could wake up because apparently their older selves did that sort of thing and not have it be the end of the world.
He snickered a little at animal revolts. "Definitely don't want that going down," he said lightly. And while normally he'd be up for helping out with making sure it didn't, his mind was going a million miles a minute and he knew he needed space from a big part of the reason for that to really start to settle it all. He was sure Atreus could probably use some space too.
"Should probably check in with the others," he answered. Or at least shoot them a quick text. Lance figured he'd give them some space to decompress themselves before heading back to the apartment. Which was fine, he wasn't sure he was entirely ready to face questions from Keith or Shiro at the moment. He stood and collected his stuff, or at least the wallet/keys/phone combo and figured he could sort out the rest of it later.
"WellâŠ" he started as he moved toward the door with Atreus. "Thanks for a fun co-parenting trip?" he half asked half stated with a grin and held his fist out for a fist bump. "Couldn't have ended up with a better better half."
Atreus laughed, but it sounded almost hollow in his own head. He hoped it came off as a little more genuine, since Lance deserved that. But he did reach up to bump fists before opening the door for them both. âSame to you. Let them know Iâll stop by a little later, okay?â
Later, after theyâve all had a little time to process, and later after he wouldnât run a risk of Shiro and Keith looking at him like Atreus half suspected heâd learned looks for. They all had a lot to sort through, but at least they seemingly all had time to do just that.
Really Lance couldn't blame Atreus for the somewhat hollow sounding laugh. It was just all a lot, in so many different ways. And they weren't like their friends, halfway if not more on their way to the futures they'd all just gotten a glimpse of. There was a nagging uncertainty that had been creeping up since he'd woken that now demanded attention. Idly his thoughts drifted to the what if - what if they were more like their friends. If things were different and the pang of sadness of waking up to missing some pretty amazing kids would be something to be soothed by a quiet morning under the blankets, instead of just one part of a whole mess of feelings that Lance had no idea what to do with.
He'd blame that mess of feelings for his next move, a defaulting to being dumb because what were words and emotions and life. The awkwardness and his own insecurities catching up to him hard. That next move being throwing Atreus finger guns with a nod and a "cool, cool - later it is."
Lance immediately cringed at himself, a hand pressed to his face and he could feel the redness there. "Oh - fuck," he breathed out and dropped his hands. "Uhhh - yeah, I'll let them know and let's just forget the last three seconds? Like forever?" he said with a sheepish sort of look as he started off in his own direction.
Well, he'd almost gotten through it all without being a total dumbass. He shot Atreus a little wave and walked off.