alexis! (celebutante) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-09-15 10:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, petshop of horrors: leon orcot, ₴ inactive: alexis rose |
WHO: Leon & Alexis (with David)
WHAT: A case of mistaken booty
WHERE: Rose Apothecary
WHEN: Backdated to September 7th
WARNINGS: Not really!
STATUS: Complete
Leon hadn’t felt this good, this light in a decade. He hadn’t actually realized just how much everything had dragged, until he’d wound up collapsed on the floor of Rose Apothecary, tears of laughter streaming down his face from how hard he’d been laughing. It had been carthritic in a way that Leon hadn’t even suspected he’d needed. In retrospect, he couldn’t figure out why Schitt’s Creek or goth!David was that funny, but even without getting it he still found himself chuckling about it to himself sometimes. He’d gone out over the weekend and had bought himself a new pair of high-waisted blue jeans and while he was in the shop, he’d spotted a t-shirt that he had to have, which he now wore overtop of a black, long-sleeved shirt, both shirts tucked firmly into the jeans. He wasn’t quite whistling while he worked, but it wouldn’t have been too out of place if it was; there was a certain lightness in step and movement as he hauled the boxes of product, stacked two high, off the supply truck. The Apothecary wasn’t Alexis’s pet project per se, but she was still pretty attached to the place considering how long she’d hate to babysit it when David blipped in and out twice before. But right now, he seemed to be - somewhat firmly rooted, a green plant there in its native soil (and maybe he wouldn’t appreciate the plant comparison, but anyway) and actually settling. He’d been looking at places to live, to buy, so that was a good sign? Maybe it meant that the Vallo powers-that-be would leave him alone for awhile yet. And they could actually have a chance to be happy here - because Alexis had flourished, she wanted David to bloom like the rose he was too. But having a connection with the Apothecary meant that she was there pretty often. Today, she took her lunch break and picked up two smoothies chock-full of nutrients and a bit of zing - nothing hit the spot for nostalgia quite like the Surprise-Me Smoothie from Café Tropical, right? Then she was at the store, swishing up the block in her boho chic dress and waves of spun-gold hair falling just so - she hadn’t bothered to braid anything today - and her cute ankle boots were comfy enough to make the trek in. Oh, wait - “Hey, hot stuff,” she called to her boyfriend because, well. She’d recognize that ass anywhere. Switching the smoothie carrier to one hand, she came up behind him and definitely grabbed a piece of the booty too, because why not? “Oh, wow, what’s with the wardrobe change?” Leon jumped when someone grabbed his ass, let out an undignified yelp, and very nearly dropped the boxes he was holding. He managed, somehow, to prevent disaster on his first day here - he had no idea of there was something fragile in them, but with his luck, the boxes were probably filled with some sort of $20 toner that was all packaged in glass bottles. He turned to the woman who’d grabbed him, his cheeks already turning pink. He hadn’t been come onto at all the last decade or so - he usually gave off a pretty strong Do Not Approach vibe - and if he had, he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t really thought of women in the last ten years. This one was cute though, and his brain immediately shut off. “Oh, well,” Leon said, looking down at his clothes as if he forgot what he was wearing - despite the fact that it was the only shirt he owned that wasn’t a three-year-old, $5, monochrome Wal-mart brand shirt and the only pair of jeans that didn’t look like they were coming apart at the seams, “Dave said I needed new pants, and I couldn’t really pass up on the shirt. Do you like it?” Not for one second did it occur to Leon that this woman probably had no idea what his other clothes looked like. Dave?? Okay, wait, what. Alexis had apparently taken a wrong turn someplace and gotten lost in the Twilight Zone. She veered back just a little, not to mean any particular offense - but because this guy looked like Cullen and yet wasn’t Cullen, so she had just grabbed the butt of a complete stranger and that was a little mortifying, but whatever. She’d done worse with people whose names she didn’t even know but that was like, consensual so she felt a little bad about the accidental butt-grabbing too? And plus what the heck was Dave. Also a question - though admittedly she kind of wanted to see the look on her brother’s face if someone called him that when he was within earshot. Hilarious. “So not to like, freak you out. But your face and this - “ She gestured up and down to the guy’s whole ensemble, that hot bod. “Looks just like my boyfriend Cullen so totally sorry I touched your butt, please don’t call the police on me. Also do me a favor and call my brother Dave next time you talk to him and I’m there. Also hi - “ She picked up her smoothie from the carrier for a fortifying sip. “I’m Alexis. And your outfit definitely works.” Leon was a little disappointed that the cute girl who’d grabbed his ass hadn’t meant to grab his ass, but mostly he felt an overwhelming sense of relief that he couldn’t quite explain and didn’t particularly want to examine in too much detail. Mostly though, mostly he was confused, and that probably came through in the almost golden retriever look on his face. “Uh okay, it’s not a problem,” he said. Calling the police hadn’t even crossed his mind. He grew even more confused when she mentioned calling her brother Dave the next time all three of them were in a room together, but he agreed to that too with with a hesitant, “Uh, okay.” He was able to get on steadier footing once she introduced himself though. That was something he could handle no matter what. “Leon Orcot. Thanks!” he said, and beaming with pride when she mentioned that his outfit worked. It had been a long, long time since the last time he’d worn anything that wasn’t cheap and basic. “Nice to meet you,” Alexis grinned, one of those bright starshine smiles, and whew - she wasn’t going to get reported for booty assault today. That would have really put a damper on things. “I’m guessing you’re new to Vallo? And you just started working here?” She’d definitely handed over the proverbial keys to the Apothecary once David got plopped back into Vallo again - because the shop wasn’t hers and she didn’t need it to be. Little sis also didn’t need to be involved in every hiring decision - David could handle it, he was more than capable. Mostly she just liked to be around to offer input on product placement (like, really, don’t put the plungers by the front door) and also new blends for cool seasonal products and stuff. Plus, the ‘I love my sister but pretend like it’s gross’ discount. That was pretty nice too. “Got it in one,” Leon said. “Today’s kind of my first day, if you don’t count when I did all the data entry last week.” Which had been a pain. Leon had never quite liked paperwork, and David had made fun of his typing, but Leon also needed money and work was work. “I’m just doing the manual labour though.” He paused, frowning. “And I guess the inventory shit.” He headed toward the shop to put down the boxes, and then startled suddenly, turning toward Alexis. “Wait, what the hell do you mean your boyfriend looks like me?” Oh no, data entry - this poor guy. Alexis had a manager for that boring stuff, when she was babysitting the Apothecary - or she’d do it herself in the back, as she multitasked and worked on public relations things too. But then her manager disappeared and other employees came and went and it was just annoying, so. Hopefully New Guy would stick around for awhile - you never could be too certain in such an unstable world. She opened the door, letting Leon go in because he had precious cargo he was carrying (and David would kill her if anything got broken or if any expensive product ended up on the floor). “Um, sometimes that happens?” she said, setting David’s would-be nutritious smoothie lunch down on the front counter for him. “People look alike - it’s just a thing. A weird face twin thing? It happened to my friend Arthur, like, at one point there were two other people here with his face and wow.” It was a good face, don’t get her wrong - but it had to be super weird for those who had twinsies they weren’t even related to. “His name’s Cullen, so - if you see him in here, you’ll definitely recognize him.” Sometimes it happens. Leon wasn’t unbothered by the idea, not quite, but he was distinctly aware that there was a point in his life when he would have been more bothered. Because sometimes, he’d learned over the last dozen years, shit happened, it didn’t make any goddamn logical sense, and no matter how hard he logiced at it, it wouldn’t just unhappen. “Well, that’s fucking weird,” he muttered instead, ripping open one of the boxes. He glanced inside - it wasn’t toner, but was some sort of ungodly expensive beauty product that Leon didn’t know the uses for. “If I run into him though, I won’t tell him you grabbed my ass.” He shot her a grin. “We’ll keep that our little secret,” Alexis winked and aw, he was so cute - she was tempted to boop his nose. Definitely more rough around the edges than Cullen was but that was okay too - Leon seemed nice and he was working here (doing the grunt work, no less - the flex your muscles and unload product work, tacked on with the data entry clerical work) so David probably liked him too. She peeked into the box to see what had been ordered - everything was sourced locally, and pretty much handcrafted, and she loved so much of it. It was just always nice to slather on some good-quality moisturizing cream and pamper yourself. “Ooh, this looks fun - wonder if David will let me take one to sample,” she mused. “I just came to drop off something nutritious for him, but I won’t bother you guys.” David had, pretty recently from his point of view, been loath to even really trust Alexis in the store unless he had eyes on her. This probably would have changed eventually, even back home, but here in Vallo Rose Apothecary had basically become hers in his absence, and while she had very willingly handed the main reins back over to him, he’d learned to trust her capability. Mostly by virtue of the fact that it was still standing and running smoothly when he’d found himself here, and partially because he had never had to run the place by himself. So thinking of it as a family business kind of made him feel better about the whole venture. Not that he’d said as much to her. He just let her carry on having as much or as little involvement as she pleased and didn’t complain when she breezed in and out on a whim as if she owned the place, because in the back of his mind, she still half did. “Keep what our little secret, Alexis?” He questioned in an overly cheery tone as he stepped out from where he’d been messing around with a few surplus boxes in the stock room, having heard the familiar lilt of his sister’s voice, but only getting the last few bits clearly. He was opening his mouth to say something about how she could sample the product she was eyeing up if she paid for it, when he took in the sight of her next to Leon and his mouth promptly shut. So there may have been something familiar about him, right, but he hadn’t actually put his finger on what it was. What could he say? He didn’t have his sister’s intimate familiarity with Cullen’s face (or ass, not that he knew about how that had played into this on her end), and maybe it took seeing her there standing next to Leon for that familiar thing to click into place. “Oh my god, how did I not notice I hired Cullen’s doppelganger?!” Leon debated for a second saying Your sister grabbed my ass. On one hand, it was pretty funny, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to embarass her. But his inner debate was cut short at the next statement. “Okay, let’s get this straight. If anyone’s anyone else’s doppleganger, this Cullen guy is mine.” Who cared if Cullen had been here longer than Leon? Leon wasn’t about to admit to being the doppleganger. “You totally hired a lookalike,” Alexis chimed in, because she wasn’t about to get into the debate of who was actually the doppelgänger because they’d be here forever and she had things to do, thanks. “And I accidentally grabbed his booty but can you blame me? That booty is well-recognized to me from the back.” She was pretty sure Cullen would find it funny too - and she’d end up telling him anyway, probably because she still felt kind of bad about it. Ugh - having a conscience was like, so weird sometimes. Whatever. She swiped her smoothie and left David’s for him. “But Leon’s a good lookalike so you should totally keep him. I brought you that from Café Tropical,” she added to her brother, referring to his nutritious lunch which probably had pea protein powder or something else substantial. “In exchange you should let me sample the new product?” Pleeeeeeeease? When Alexis just straight up announced that she had copped a feel of Leon’s rear, David reached for the smoothie she had brought for him for a fortifying sip of his own. He did not actually spit it out, but it was a very near thing. “How do they keep making them like that when Twyla isn’t even there?” He mumbled absently, more to himself than Alexis, and swallowed his mouthful hard. This was not his first rodeo with Cafe Tropical’s food here in Vallo. It had to be some kind of dark magic. “Please tell me she’s joking?!” He added in a sincerely horrified voice once he finished making the kind of faces that sort of implied he’d managed to get dryer lint stuck to his tongue, addressing Leon this time. He knew, even as he asked, that she was absolutely not joking. He didn’t even bother acknowledging Alexis’ plea for samples. Leon’s demeanor seemed to imply that he wasn’t about to call the police on her, but inappropriate touching in the workplace shouldn’t be rewarded either. The understandable mistake and amount of times he may have also touched someone’s butt at his galleries if he happened to be seeing them was not the point. “Oh no, your sister totally grabbed my ass. Friendliest ‘hello’ I’ve gotten in years,” Leon said, laughing. There was definitely no danger of Leon going to the cops about this; honestly, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. He hefted the now-open box. “Speaking of the new product though, where do you want this, Dave?” Oh, there it was - the whole reason for Alexis getting up this morning. “Yeah, Dave,” she emphasized the name with all of the sisterly love she could pour into it - and definitely took one of the new shiny products to sample regardless. What was David going to do, cut her hand off? Not if she gave him sweet jade green puppy eyes! Not after she’d walked him down the aisle at his own wedding - he didn’t technically know about that, but oh well. The sentiment was there. She’d still do it for him regardless. “Where do you want this?” David sputtered. Like, literally sputtered. He was lucky he hadn’t yet tried to brave another sip of his smoothie, because the long sleeve shirt he had chosen to wear that day was printed with abstract skulls and therefore largely white. He would have spit smoothie all over it. “Who in the actual fuck decided my name was Dave?” He questioned, eyeing them both widely with unabashed horror, his voice rising into the kind of falsetto that he unleashed on the most major of minor offenses. “I don’t know where I want it because I’m too busy deciding if I should fire both of you!” He would never, of course, and even as he said this, he gestured wildly to a space on one of the shelves that he had already cleared expressly for that product. Leon probably should have been more suspicious when Alexis had been so obviously delighted when he’d called her brother Dave the first time. He’d definitely clued in that something wasn’t exactly right when she parroted the name after he’d said it. But Leon’s brother was eighteen years younger than him, and the last time he’d seen him, Chris had been six. Sibling dynamics definitely meant something else for Leon. “I mean, I assume your parents decided…” Leon ventured. Every David he knew went by Dave. “Oh, they did,” Alexis said gleefully, eyebrows poking upward. This was hilarious - and she totally loved her brother, she did. But what kind of sister would she be if she also didn’t live for teasing him? Just a little? “He’s definitely their favorite. Named Dave.” Scooting around, she dropped a smooch on David’s cheek (kiss-proof lipstick, it was a great invention) and then picked up her smoothie, settling her cute handbag over her arm. Her work here had been done (for now). “I have to get back to work but you two enjoy the rest of the day? Leon, it was super nice to meet you. I promise next time I’ll keep my hands to myself.” She was sure she’d be back some other time - with lunch for the both of them, most likely. Leon seemed the forgetful sort, or the type to think cold Chinese food from a carton was lunch. Bleh. “My parents named me David.” David responded to Leon, still looking at both of them with wide eyed horror. “They named me DAVID, Alexis!” This latter bit was obviously addressed at his sister, who’s kiss to his cheek he responded to by slamming his smoothie down on the checkout counter in order to free up both hands so that he could flash her dual middle fingers even as she was already trying to remove herself from the situation. Not terribly professional to do in the workplace. Leon was absolutely the kind of guy who considered cold Chinese take-out - or a protein bar, if he was in a hurry - to be an acceptable lunch. "Alright, alright, David," Leon said, and if he wasn't carrying the box of product, he might have raised his hands in surrender. He brought it over to where David had indicated. "Sorry, I didn't think it'd be such a sore spot." Sorry, David, it was still hilarious - Alexis probably shouldn’t encourage such huffiness in her brother (he was liable to flip out and go into a full blown fit) but she couldn’t help it. Leon had just called him Dave and she went with it, so she could hardly be blamed. “Oooooh,” she teased, wiggling her fingers in a goodbye (though it was really both middle fingers returned and waved in David’s direction, lovingly). “See you two fellows later.” Leon really had a lot to look forward to in future interactions, didn’t he? |