Beau had only meant to take a quick little nap. To refresh and get back to work up on the deck. She'd forgotten how the rock of the ship made her want to sleep - and she'd equally forgotten how good she could sleep on the water when nothing was waking them up to try and murder them. When her eyes cracked open, she bellowed a yawn and stretched, tumbling out of the bunk. All of her monk reflexes made the motion look smooth and effortless.
Minus the platinum blonde strand of hair that swung past her eyes and made her stumble a step. Something was on her head. Hair was on her head but it was somebody else's hair. She pulled at it as she hurried up onto the deck.
"Somebody thinks they're real fucking funny," she groused, blinking against the afternoon sun. The wig didn't budge. "If you assholes glued this stupid thing to my head, I'm going to have to break some fingers."
"I don't think Veth has arrived, but it does feel like she's being heralded," answered Fjord, leaning against the mast with a look of consternation on his face. He'd been wearing his captain's hat pulled tight around his scalp for a reason this morning and thankfully no one had questioned it. Which was also why he'd been spending the whole day on the Ball Eater instead of on shore.
He turned to look at Beau and despite his own predicament, he struggled to contain a smirk. "Not really your color, is it?"
“Shut up, everything’s my color,” Beau responded petulantly. The mention of Veth made her stomach sour. Veth was with her family, as it should be. But that didn’t mean Beau couldn’t miss her friend. Annoying little bastard that she was.
Another tug and it was confirmed. The wig wasn’t going anywhere. She sighed and dropped her hands to her sides, stalking closer to Fjord. Her gaze narrowed. “Why do you look weird?”
"I always look like this, don't be racist," retorted Fjord, dodging the question with expert ease and skill. Followed by immediately returning to work on the ropes in front of him. They weren't going to untie themselves, after all. Still, it was a good way to keep his mind off the mess hidden under his hat.
Truth be told, he missed Veth as well, though knowing she was finally with her family and living the good life meant a lot to him. And it was still hard to believe that he'd been here in Vallo nearly as long as he'd been traveling with the Nein back home - what a hell of a mindscrew. "If you need some work to do, the galley still smells like birthday cake."
"Don't be--" Beau cut off repeating him and seriously considered kicking him right over the side. But Beau was amused as much as she was annoyed. Fjord said ridiculous things when he was trying to divert attention away from himself. Usually things that did the opposite. She examined him with a more careful eye.
"Sure, I'll clean the galley." The lie was spoken smoothly but she was looking at him so hard, she may as well have held up a sign. "As soon as you show me what...you're…." She dove forward to rip off his hat. "Hiding!"
[ rolls a dexterity saving throw --- 4 ]
With a shouted "Hey!" and a flailing grasp at his hat, Fjord attempted to dodge Beau's diving grab - and failed. Massive amounts of red curls spilled out from where he'd carefully stuffed it all up and under his hat, followed by Fjord dropping his shoulders in defeat. "Well, at least you know I'm not the one responsible for this," he offered, spreading his hands in a gesture of peace. He'd woken up like this, same as Beau, and had been hoping to keep it hidden until Vallo decided to end this new curse.
He leaned against the mast and looked a bit more exhausted than he actually felt. It had been a battle with this thing and nothing had worked. He had a brief memory of that woman from Rumblecusp and her inability to ever let go of the golden penis. "Can I have the hat back?"
Beau's eyes grew giant at the sight of all those curls against Fjord's green skin. A sputtering laugh burst out of her, but his maudlin body language made her smother it. Well, at least make it quieter. She waved the hat at him and put it on over her own platinum bob wig instead of giving it back right away.
"Oh don't sound so glum, Captain. This look kind of works for you." It absolutely did not. "Maybe we catch some wind and your luscious locks can blow back from your face. There's a book at the Nook with a cover like that," she grinned, shaking her head dramatically like a damsel shaking her hair out.
"My life's dream, looking like a cover from a Nook book," answered Fjord, deadpan and eyeing for a chance to snatch his hat back. He knew he'd never outreach Beau's reflexes and for a second he wished he had that magic hand spell. Ah well, she'd give it back eventually. The secret was, as it were, out of the bag now anyway.
He took a deep breath and kind of canted his head to the side for a moment. "Any ideas on what we can do to get through this? You're the smart one around here. I tried cutting it with the Star Razor, you know. No luck."
Beau shrugged. She tried to picture him using Star Razor on the fake hair attached to his head and frowned. "You're lucky you didn't take off an ear. Fuck."
She took off the Captain's hat and held it out to him. As tempting as it was to try and jam it back on Fjord's head, she wasn't entirely sure how he'd stuff that mass of hair inside it in the first place.
"I'll shave my whole head if I have to but it really does feel like it's not going anywhere without some magical aid." Tugging at it was pointless and dumb, but she did it anyway. Like she needed to prove a point. "If there are more people like this, it could pass in a few days, right? That's the dumb thing about this place?"
"Pretty much. Deal with magical bullshit for a few days to a week, then it's gone and we move onto whatever it throws at us next," answered Fjord, deciding not to refute the comment about losing an ear. He knew how to use his sword, but he also knew his luck so she was probably actually right about it. Watching Beau tug futilely on what she got stuck with was a bit soothing, at least. It meant he wasn't going through this mess alone.
"I don't know how people can deal with this much hair on the regular, it is constantly in my eyes and mouth with the slightest bob of my head, much less a breeze."
"It is really fucking annoying," Beau agreed, spitting hair out of her mouth. It was why she kept her undercut and the rest of her hair tied back. Since he didn't claim the hat, she sat it crookedly on top of his crazy hair. "Beautiful," she deadpanned snarkily. He really did look like he belonged on the cover of a bodice ripper. With Jester in full pirate regalia, scimitar to his throat. The thought made her snort a laugh.
"Do you want me to braid it to get it out of your face?" Her grin was definitely on the mischievous side but to be fair, she often had a braid in her hair these days. "If you're going to be stuck like this for days, it's really for the best."
Fjord looked entirely too relieved at the suggestion. "Gods, could you? That would be wonderful, and a lot less work than trying to stuff it all back under this hat every time someone yanks it off my head."
He pulled the hat back off and tucked it under his arm before glancing around. "Do you.. need me to sit on a crate or something?" It was fairly clear he'd never participated in the ritual of having his hair done, evident from the way he kind of moved unsurely despite being at home on the deck of a ship. Though it was Beau; she could probably squat on his shoulders and do the job just as easily as snapping a neck. Which was something better to not think about, honestly.
Beau laughed, no malice in the sound at all. It was nice when Fjord went along with things so eagerly. He could easily have tripped over gender nonsense and refused. She stepped away to snag a crate and slapped it down on the deck next to him. "Sit and don't do it too tall either. Have some bad posture. Embrace your pirateness."
She had ties around her wrist that she quickly unbound. She'd never braided a wig before but how hard could it be? It would probably look ridiculous but it already did anyway. "I hope you're not tender headed," she smirked, waiting for him to sit and then getting to work on binding the mountain of curls on his head into a thick braid. "Oh man, remember when you lost all your hair in Aeor, ha!"
He was about to say that he'd taken enough hits in his lifetime that pulling on some hair that wasn't actually embedded in his scalp wasn't going to bother him, but then she hit him with that Aeor comment. Which in turn caused him to have to stop and think about it for a moment before responding. It was a strange experience, all told.
"In kind of that I remember experiencing it vividly but I was here so it's kind of surreal sort of way, yes," he answered, finally. "Your Cobalt Soul library didn't happen to have anything on downloading memories, did it? Or is this something entirely new for you, as well?"
"Oh right," Beau grumbled. "That's so fucked up." It was still really mind boggling that half of her friends had been in two places at once. Some of them even had been here longer than they'd known her. Caleb acted like it didn't change anything but who really knew? "Anyway, I've definitely never heard anything about it at home. Wish we had a Cobalt Soul library here."
She wished the Cobalt Soul existed at all here. It felt like she'd finally proven herself and had their full support; it hurt to lose it. She shrugged off the melancholy though and braided the last few inches of hair loosely together to be tied. "Not that the library here isn't impressive as shit. It's just different. You want me to look through their stuff? They have a lot that still even needs cataloging. It's wild."
"Watch those wishes, you may end up with like a handheld version or something, but I'm surprised you're actually asking instead of diving right in. I would've figured that place would be irresistible bait to you," answered Fjord, already feeling better about the excess hair now that it wasn't trying to fly into his face constantly. He could just honestly sit back and hope this particular oddity wouldn't last too long.
"Thanks, by the way, for fixing this mess. I'll even allow you to laugh at my predicament with no glares."
“Oh, no, I mean, I’m there pretty much every day. But I’m not doing your homework if you don’t want me to,” Beau smirked, stepping back over to the rail. Her platinum wig whipped around, smacking her in the face. She squinted. She was definitely going to ask Yasha to try and cut it off. Terrifying as the prospect was. Hair grew back, after all. And she trusted Yasha with her life.
“Anyway, you’re welcome. Just do me a favor and find us something distracting to do out here.” She gestured out over the water, which looked infuriatingly calm at the moment. “Pick a fight with a sea creature, Fjord. You’re good at that.”
"I'll have you know I'm good at picking a fight with land creatures, as well," answered Fjord, getting up to join her at the rail. He turned his head this way and that a few times to test the braid - excellent, he didn't immediately hate it. Two points for Beau.
"Still practicing on air creatures, when they deem to give a shit about us grounded types. But, a favor's a favor. I'll find you something to punch."