When Blue first suggested the podcast, she was certain that Essek would have grown tired of her antics. That she would have reached a point where he went Blue, that is too much. Blue was used to being too much—her clothes, her attitude, her general existence was a lot—but the people she surrounded herself with didn't seem to mind. She liked to think that Essek was one of those people too.
So when the podcast became less of a joke and more of a reality, Blue was more than happy to help Essek accomplish his sultry voice dreams of broadcasting to the people of Vallo. It also helped that her boyfriend was a notorious podcast listener, and while history wasn't necessarily her go-to on recommendations, she knew enough about what interested her and a podcast setup to give some support and maybe feedback to her half-planned idea.
She had come over to the tower, reusable bags in hand, full of books, random wires, and a microphone she had haggled with a Vallo thrift shop owner—"It's for a good cause, I swear!"—and wasted no time unloading her wares on a table the moment Essek let her inside.
"On my way over I was thinking that you probably shouldn't read anything from romance novels on your podcast. Not because I don't think it's a good use of your voice, but because then no one would come to Chastity's Nook if they can listen to your excellent readings from the privacy of their own home," Blue said, followed by a loud thunk of the tabletop microphone. It was an antique, but still good.
"And I do not think you need that kind of knowledge in the back of your mind. Everyone keeps it PG while listening at the shop even if you're edging into NC-17 territory. But could you imagine knowing your voice is lending itself to—nope, nevermind!" She made a little flourish with her hands at the mediocre tech. "Tada! What do you think?"
In Rosohna, Essek's home had been two things: solitary and dedicated to his studies. Yes, he had a bedroom that housed his various robes and a bed, but he rarely used it to trance in; why mess up blankets and sheets when he could meditate perfectly fine as he floated a foot off the floor in his study? It meant he was right where he needed to be when, four hours later, he could dive back into his research. He had been perfectly content for decades with that being the status quo -- at least, until a group of adventurers had come for breakfast and he'd found out what it felt like to have noise and arcane companionship. Suddenly, the quiet had seemed deafening.
That wasn't the case anymore, though. Essek's tower still housed some of his old belongings, but many of the books had been moved to the library in the Xhorhaus, the mingling of his tomes with Caleb's being more of a step toward domesticity than it had been their sharing a bedroom. But the rooms in his tower hadn't stayed empty. Instead, they just were outfitted for the new interests that Essek had been able to explore while in Vallo. For over a century, his life had been dedicated to one thing: arcane research and discovery. That was still very much his primary interest, but now he had time to explore other things. It was new and strange and exhilarating -- and he was grateful for people like Blue, who not only helped him find these new interests, but actively encouraged them.
The podcast was rather beyond anything Essek had tried before. Though he had gotten used to most technology that Vallo had to offer and had even begun listening to podcasts himself since Blue had brought them up, he was glad that she had more of an idea of how to go about any of this as he needed all the guidance he could get.
Though now, his mind registered that the tech in front of him that Blue was indicating was what he was meant to speak in to record his voice -- but his mind also took a moment to catch up, as it was stuck on her first statement. When it did catch up, Essek tried to ignore that his ears were probably a darker purple than normal and instead looked at the microphone. "It looks like I am glad you are here, as I would have no idea where to find one of those, let alone how to use it." He gave Blue a smile at that, one of the genuine sorts that had become easier and easier as he spent more time in Vallo.
Blue watched Essek do that considering look, like she has just presented him with a terrarium filled with some kind of nightmare monster that should not have existed. She liked that look, Gansey often did the same thing—and she loved Gansey dearly. Blue was not necessarily a planner and could be sensible when the time called for it, but she liked keeping people close to her that were careful and thoughtful, even about their hobbies.
She beamed watching him understand what she was getting at because she had to tease, just a little bit. But she let him blush, and then smile at her, and continued on. "I can't promise it's the best but it was mostly free. I made some promises about discounts at the farmers market that I'm going to have to bother Ronan about later. And you may need to give a small shout out to the shop on the corner of fifth near that goblin spa, but—" Blue waved her hand in front of her face, as if to say nevermind. She was getting ahead of herself.
"Have you figured out what you want to talk about? Or like the structure? Themes? Or are you going to do a serialized topic, being the Foremost Expert in All Things Magical?" Blue asked, making sure every capital letter of that title was felt.
Essek opened his mouth to dispute the title of Foremost Expert in All Things Magical -- then decided to embrace it, instead. His ego did not need any assistance, but it was nice to preen, if only internally. He was sure that Caleb would probably surpass him in magical abilities any day now and the other magic users he knew had their own specialties, but, well. He would embrace it, just this once.
Instead, he said, "I do think that, if I'm going to go on about anything, magic will certainly be that thing. I -- ah." Essek hesitated for just a moment, his expression going almost sheepish as he considered how much he wanted to divulge before deciding to just dive right in. He liked Blue. She was easy to talk to and her enthusiasm was infectious; his friendship with her did, in many ways, remind him of his friendship with Jester. They were different, of course, but there was a draw there that Essek wouldn't have expected.
"This may sound silly, but I like the thought of being able to share magic with people who may not be able to attend school or explore it easily on their own," he continued, looking down at the microphone curiously. "My circumstances were different, but it can feel isolating to not have peers or know where to turn for answers, so... accessibility. This seemed like a good avenue to make a start, if that makes sense."
As Essek explained what he wanted his podcast to be, Blue's eyebrows slowly raised higher and higher. It wasn't that she didn't believe he was capable of doing something like that—bringing accessibility to magic users and non-magic users alike with a calming, soothing voice—but because that sounded like the most personal thing Essek had ever said to her. Blue flitted in between being acutely aware of someone's history and being a peripheral friend. She never knew exactly when she crossed that line, but this felt like closing in on it.
She hoisted herself up onto the table, legs swinging. "That makes absolute sense, I'm impressed." She reached for a couple of wires in the bag, not because they needed them right now, but something to do with her hands. "I grew up with a house of psychics, so I kind of always had access to any questions I had. Sometimes involuntarily, just always at the fringes of magic. I guess it's kind of a privilege in that regard."
Blue let out a soft sigh. "But then I think of other people I know who spent so much of their life confused or struggling or alone in what they can do and it sucked." Her expression went somber for a second, before she offered Essek a genuine smile. "You're going to be the literal voice to thousands of people who have magic and are like what the heck am I doing? Of all the people I know, I'm glad you're taking on that responsibility."
Essek couldn't help his raised eyebrow, though the smile on his face soothed the sass that could have been there. "I don't know about thousands," he admonished. "I'm not yet certain that the only person that will listen with regularity will be Caleb."
Though, he couldn't help but hope. Hearing Blue bolstered him, a bit. It was always good to hear that an idea, especially one that has been lingering as long as this one had been for Essek, was thought of as a good one by someone other than oneself. "I had a lot of opportunities and open doors, but the ones that were closed to me were -- frustrating. They left me feeling very alone and those feelings led me to making decisions that I now regret." Essek shrugged a shoulder, the movement much more casual than the words and his feelings actually were. "If I can help keep others from feeling the same, I think that my time in Vallo will have been well spent."
"And me," Blue added in, somewhat helpfully. "So two. Three if you count Gansey, who probably will because he likes stuff like this. Magic and history and learning. You're literally unintentionally making a podcast distinctively—" Blue sounded out every syllable, "for him. So three. A thousand. It's just about marketing, easy."
But she watched the way Essek seemed to grow serious—less about the podcast and more about the memories that pushed the reason for said podcast—and Blue became equally serious. "You don't have to tell me," Blue said quickly, just to make it clear. "And I'm not going to pry. And I'm certainly not going to tell anyone whatever is going on. But what you're doing, trying not to let others make the same mistakes is a noble cause. And I don't use the word noble lightly, or at all. So you know I mean it."
Blue began to braid the wires in her hands, naturally inclined to craft "Most people I know who have regrets about their choices go really insular, to fix themselves, it's rare that they use that penance to give back to other people. Makes you a better person than most." She put up a singular finger in a shush, to stop whatever protest he might have started. "I will not hear anything bad or you saying that's not true. My opinion is not up for debate because it's pretty much fact."
Above all else, Essek appreciated the permission to not go into it, if he so chose. During his time in Vallo, he had told only one other person the details of what he had done back home that didn't already know -- and that was easy to do, once he realized just how much he and Zoya had in common. It had been harder with his other new friends, though; he didn't want to open up about treason and crimes, especially when he was just trying to start fresh. He hadn't let himself linger on the thoughts of just how much more dishonest that made him.
Though, he had to smile now, accepting Blue's assessment of him. "I will take your word for it, then. Being altruistic isn't always my first instinct, but I'd like it to be eventually. We'll start with this."
Essek's gaze dropped, looking at the wires in Blue's hands. "But, I request your patience. I have gotten used to some technology, but I'm very much a work in progress here." He smiled. "You may have to speak slowly and repeat things more than once."
"You literally said hmm, alright—" Blue did a mediocre impression of Essek and his voice, but she was not the person who needed to be impressive over a microphone. "—when I suggested you read smutty books in public. If that's not altruistic then I don't know what is. You're literally just agreeing to all my weird selfish requests," Blue said with a shrug, then hopped back off the table, to rummage around in her wares.
"You forget that I live with a guy who hates most technology, a guy who only had a landline, and my boyfriend who is considered an old man in a 20-year-old body. And that's not even counting my mom and my aunts, which might be a lost cause at this point. I think repeating a few things until you get it for someone who comes from a medieval magic world is going to be cake—ah ha!" Blue spun around with a pair of headphones in hand. Big bulky things.
"You need these, for when you're recording. It monitors all the sound, so you know if the microphone is going to pick up weird noises. But I didn't know if—" Blue gestured at her ears as she passed the headphones. "You know. If we needed special ones."
Essek took the headphones, turning them over in his hands and inspecting them with a soft smile. It was funny; based off his behavior, starting back in Exandria with the Mighty Nein's wiggling their way into his life and continuing onward in Vallo as his previously nonexistent circle of friendships expanded, one might think him a pushover. His granting favors to the Mighty Nein, from teleporting them all over Xhorhas to gifting Caleb the stepping stones of dunamancy, had been transactional and manipulative at first, but that had changed as time went on -- and it had never been the case in Vallo.
So, yes: reading smutty books in public, giving up his evenings of study to play with Kiri, staying after school to give extra lessons to a struggling student, sleeping instead of trancing to enjoy a handful of extra hours with Caleb -- none of them were things that Shadowhand Essek Thelyss would have entertained doing. But, he was still enough of the Shadowhand to not do anything he didn't want to, either.
"Well, I appreciate your patience ahead of time," Essek said, gifting a smile up to Blue before slipping the headphones over his ears. The ever present adornments of earrings and cuffs weren't entirely conducive, as weren't the long points that escaped them, but he'd long learned not everything was made with elves in mind. "I'm sure that they'll do just fine," he added, voice raising just slightly without him realizing, everything muffled just a bit more than he was used to, even without noise coming through the wires. He slipped them off. "I make do with earmuffs as well, so I'm almost used to it."
If Blue could look any more pleased about Essek putting on the headphones, it felt impossible. She did a little bouncing on her toes with excitement. This silly little idea, fully embraced by a wizard, was a highlight and she was determined to help it succeed, even if they were both walking a little blindly into podcast territory. She tried not to laugh though when he raised his voice in the noise-canceling headphones; she waited until he seemed satisfied and took them off before she spoke again.
"Well, even if they didn't fit, you make them look good?" Blue clapped her hands together, gave a little alright! and gathered up her bags again. "Show me where you're going to be doing this. I read a lot about soundproofing rooms, and stone floors are not going to cut it."