"Hey, hot stuff," Eleanor said as Alexis entered the Apothecary. "This place is dangerously close to work, so I figured we could just walk?" She was good to go and eager to show off the absolute ridiculousness that was frozen yogurt from the afterlife.
Its arrival had been a surprise, but the best sort of surprise, even if discovering it had sent waves of nostalgia in Eleanor's direction, making her somewhat homesick for the afterlife even if it wasn't actually the good place. It had been home, and she'd had real friends there. That had been good enough.
"I just wish this place came with Janet, or even Michael," she mused. Or Tahani or Chidi but that seemed like too much to ask, and even hoping for their arrivals would only lead to disappointment.
It was officially spring which meant that Alexis could put away the snazzy warm boots and the tights under her dresses and go bare-legged, which was super thrilling for some reason. She’d never really been a jeans person, or a pants person in general, preferring to show off these perfect gams whenever possible - but when it was cold, that was always more difficult. However, the breeze was sweetly fragranced (well, when you got past the parts of the city that smelled like car exhaust) and the streets absorbed the warmth of sunshine so it was hello, short skirts and goodbye, long sleeves. Today she had on a v-neck dress in floral print, with a ruffled hem, and wedge sandals that showed off her amazing first pedicure of the spring season. Her hair was all business ponytail today though, golden and sleek, and she’d already put in her time at the DOA so now she planned to head to the Apothecary and go from there to indulge in some well-earned fro-yo.
She’d heard things and needed to try all the flavors, but would start with just one for today - then come back for more. But which one to start with, was the question?
“I completely get it - I wish Café Tropical came with Twyla too,” she mused, adjusting her handbag over her wrist, a sympathetic expression crossing her features. Oddly enough, Alexis missed Schitt’s Creek - her family and friends, yes, but also the small town vibe where the worst thing that happened was Moira noticed she was missing a wig, not like. Cultist Vultures hellbent on killing people - big yikes. “But it’s still nice to have those places from home, you know? They help you reminisce about all the things you got up to. And yes, totally, let’s walk. You can make recommendations.”
The weather was gorgeous, and essentially perfect for frozen yogurt, which only seemed to make the day better. As they stepped outside, Eleanor laughed. "There's so many to choose from, recommendations are hard. It sort of depends on what you're feeling that day, you know? Beyoncé Compliments Your Hair is hard to go wrong with any day though. And Second Kiss, First Is Awkward is a very... pleasant taste."
She grinned. "Or Hot Shower. That's always fun to watch people try. Oh, and when you're looking at the menu and you see repeats, I'm not sure if that's deliberate or if they just forgot they already listed some of the flavors. Anyway, what kind of mood are you in? That'll help."
Given who she was, and how she once met Beyoncé in Mykonos (so she basically blew off her high school graduation to do it too, so what), Alexis was highly considering the one involving the Queen. But also... “Ugh, Hot Shower sounds fab,” she groaned, sashaying along and fully planning to make a decision before they got to the yogurt place. But maybe not, because then she’d see the menu and have to debate all over again. “Honestly, I could totally come up with some killer flavor names too - like Blind Dating Leonardo DiCaprio or First Kiss with Jared Leto.”
Both had happened in her lifetime, naturally. Those potential flavors were based on real experiences, thanks very much.
There was also how she’d dated all three Hanson brothers in one summer, but anyway. That one would probably taste like stale bubblegum and regrets. “Right noooow I’m definitely in a happy mood? Citrus-ey. I’m definitely in a citrus-ey mood. Something sweet and light.” Yes, that sounded good - as much as she loved chocolate, give her like a lemon sherbert too. Because yum.
"Double Rainbow," Eleanor suggested. "But it's really hard to describe any of these flavors. They'll let you try samples though." There was a slight bounce to her step, because she was super excited that this piece of her afterlife was here, even if there was a slight twinge of hollowness to it. She was getting to share something she enjoyed with people, and the reception had been more than she expected, but it all served to make her happy.
"I need to know about Jared Leto," she said. "I fell in love with him in My So-Called Life. Jordan Catalano..."
“He actually wasn’t that impressive?” Alexis laughed, with a roll of those jade eyes. “Like, actually kind of weird?” And creepy - he was a lot older than her, anyway, but it wasn’t like her teenage self really cared. She only saw the pretty face and the long lashes that no simple man had a right to have because it wasn’t fair. But now she looked back on a lot of her romantic exploits and just cringed - they always said hindsight was 20/20. “I get it though. My So-Called Life was where it was at, back in the day.”
They approached Yogurt Yoghurt Yogurté, and Alexis pulled open the door to step inside - she decided to follow Eleanor’s advice and get the Double Rainbow but also perused the menu and what other people had in their cones and cups, just for funsies. “And if you’re curious about Jared Leo, I should tell you about the time I went for bubble tea with Adam Levine.”
Bubble tea and a booty call. As one did.
"I can see that," Eleanor agreed. "He may have peaked in TV high school." It was sad, but given that she was unlikely to meet Jared Leto anytime soon, she figured it was okay. However, it was fun hearing Alexis's stories, especially as they entered the yogurt shop. If anyone in Vallo was going to remind her of Tahani, it was Alexis, with her ability to name drop in every situation. So it seemed fitting to try out flavors with her.
"I'll get Hot Shower, so you can taste that too." She ignored the fact that the employees greeted her by name. Actually, no, she didn't. She loved it.
"You should," Eleanor agreed, raising an eyebrow as they stepped down to the end of the counter and waited for their yogurt.
Orders placed, Alexis happily leaned against the counter, hair in its ponytail tossed back over her shoulder. “He was a lot better than Leto,” she admitted. “Like, definitely not as sleazy. Plus I got bubble tea out of the whole thing and honestly that was the best part.”
When the yogurt came to her, she stuck a spoon into Double Rainbow and practically bopped up and down on her toes with glee before she took the first bite. “Okay, here goes - “ And then down it went - she gave it a second to really let the flavor hit her tastebuds, and assess what she thought it tasted like.
It was definitely good. To her, it tasted like pure happiness - like raspberries, and like angels were tapdancing in her stomach. Not only was it fruity but it was sweet too, reminiscent of a light cake - maybe an airy sponge. “That’s so good,” she groaned, going for another spoonful right away. And she felt the happiness too, it washed over her in a content wave with each bite she took. “Did you have other kinds of places like this in the afterlife?”
"Not really," Eleanor replied, having taken in the full force of Alexis's reaction. It was fantastic, especially given that they were in Vallo and the frozen yogurt had the same celestial qualities as the afterlife. She found them a table, because as nice as it was outside it was probably still a bit too cold for frozen yogurt outdoors.
"Okay, tear yourself away from your bliss for a moment and try this," Eleanor said, sliding over her cup. Not that Hot Shower wasn't also blissful, just in a completely different manner, and one that was pure relaxation.
"But no, and I don't remember them, but like they put in a bunch of frozen yogurt places in several of the reboots, because they were a step down from ice cream." And yet this was the best dessert imaginable. "Some of them did just sell plain old froyo though. But in other reboots they tried different things like clam chowder."
Eleanor pulled a face. "It looked so disgusting." Then there was the restaurant that had served up her favorite meal, which was nothing because apparently fake!Eleanor had been on a hunger strike and considered that non-existent meal her favorite.
“Clam chowder so has the potential to go horribly wrong,” Alexis shuddered, taking the cup of Hot Shower and giving it a tiny experimental sniff first, crossing her legs there at the table. She was really curious but luckily didn’t have to remain that way for long - because she took a bite, using her spoon (they could double dip or whatever, not like Eleanor had cooties).
Oooh. It was definitely different than Double Rainbow but not in a bad way - this was more like flowers, chocolate, and coconut. An interesting combination that made her feel relaxed for sure, like she was lying out on the beach with the sun like a warm hand pressing on her. That whole steamy dreamy feeling - falling asleep in the sun (or in a hot shower?) was always super tempting too, but that’s how lobster sunburn happened.
“I like that one too,” she said cheerfully, giving Eleanor her fro-yo back. “Honestly, I can picture myself coming here a lot. Twyla would have loved this place too - she created things like the ‘Surprise Me Smoothie’ at the café, so. This type of mystery and adventure is right up her alley.”
"Yeah, did I mention it was a clam chowder fountain? Outdoors?" Eleanor asked, because that seemed like it was vital information she may have left out. "I don't actually remember it, because it was one of the hundreds of times they reset my memory, but I watched it on the show."
She grinned though, watching Alexis try her second flavor. "Yeah, it was by far the best of the yogurt places, and I don't know. It's really cool to have a place from where I'm from show up. I mean, Stupid Nick's is here but that's all Jason and it's a mess. Well outside of the orange drank which sounds ridiculous when you call it that anywhere but Stupid Nick's."
She shrugged, taking a bite of her frozen yogurt, the first time she'd had this flavor since the fake good place, really. It was just as good as she remembered it. "I wish Twyla was here, so I could meet her. I think we'd get along, and I'd definitely try the smoothies."
Alexis almost snorted fro-yo up her dainty nose (which wouldn’t have been so dainty, to do that). “A clam chowder fountain?” she coughed, also dissolving into a fit of giggles. Eleanor’s afterlife was so weird - she thought about maybe watching that show the blonde was on, but ultimately decided that would also be weird. Because Eleanor was right here and it seemed better to ask for details than to just...get them from fiction or whatever. Except it wasn’t fiction if it was someone’s life.
Wow, existential crisis time. No thanks.
“Stupid Nick’s has good wings, right?” she asked, assuming so because it was Stupid Nick’s Wing Dump and hopefully they wouldn’t suck at the thing they were named after. “I should try that place too. Next time I’ll take you to Café Tropical though - it’s pretty close to the Apothecary too, and we can both try the smoothies and see if they’re any good.” Like. They weren’t great originally so Alexis doubted they’d be any better now, but it was more about the ambiance. And what the place from home represented.
"Okay so the thing about Stupid Nicks is that a small thing of wings has over 50 in the bucket and it's forkin' insane…" The nostalgia must have been getting to her cause she didn't even attempt to correct herself on the good place swear. "And the flavors are all things like bad ketchup and 'not' gasoline so theoretically, yes? But I only go there and eat out of other people's buckets now because I'm not going to spend money on a bucket of 54 mystery ranch wings. When the mystery is are they going to be good or bad today because I swear, the first time they were alright."
Zeke had just had terrible luck and now Eleanor was no longer going to chance it.
Maybe that was a slight rant about Stupid Nick's but being Jason's friend meant she'd eaten there more than she had ever intended. Which was never, really. But okay yeah, once.
"I'm looking forward to Café Tropical," she said, moving on from wings. She got the ambiance thing. That was half the appeal of this place. She felt at home, in a good way, because as weird or terrible, really, as it was for them to be placed into the fake good place experiment, it had ended up being life-changing. Or afterlife-changing. To the point where now in Vallo she hadn't reverted to the person she'd been in Arizona. Definitely a good thing.
Aw. The rant was cute. “I don’t blame you, mystery ranch seems like a gamble,” Alexis grinned. “Maybe not one we should take. Or at least, we can definitely let other people pay for it.”
She scooped up more fro-yo with her spoon, reveling in the taste of pure happiness - the only crappy part was that she’d be done with this soon and then be out of dessert, oh no, what would she do then??
Well. She’d cross that bridge when she got to it. In the meantime she’d enjoy the experience and the friendship. “Thanks for bringing me to this place, by the way,” she told Eleanor. “Vallo’s like, not home. But I’m glad you’re here.”
Eleanor smiled brightly at Alexis. "I'm glad you're here too. And not just because I'm going to need that second job to fund my frozen yogurt addiction now." It meant something that she had friends here, so while Vallo maybe wasn't home, it could feel that way sometimes.
Except during the attacks of murderous birds. It could stop with that, thanks.