Verin had meant it when he’d told Cassandra that he had no expectations for what they did or did not have to talk about. He was and always had been a firm believer in not forcing people into awkward or uncomfortable situations they weren’t ready for unless absolutely necessary. And for as much as he was on board for this potential conversation, it was not necessary for him to have Cassandra’s feelings defined prematurely. He liked to think he knew her well enough to understand the things that held her back, while also seeing the ways in which she cared for him that had nothing to do with having to say the words. However long it took, those words or the lack thereof were not ever going to push him away.
But even though he was prepared to wait for whatever Cassandra’s comfort level was, Verin was confident in where he stood with her. He’d been considering his feelings for her for quite awhile now, even before the crisis of getting stuck inside the snowglobe with the uncertainty of whether he’d ever see her again, and he knew that he was in love with her. He’d told his brother as much, even. So what was the right balance between patiently waiting and wanting so badly to tell her what he knew? Was it fair to confess what he was certain of if it might put undue pressure on her to say something she wasn’t quite ready for?
It was on his mind now for obvious reasons and it wasn’t the first time that day that he’d cursed whatever technological failure had led to outing people’s search engine inquiries. He took a deep breath and reached out for one of the containers of soup to lift the lid off of it.
Pushing his thoughts aside for the time being, he smiled and said, “I wasn’t sure which soup sounded better than the rest, so I got a container of each. Don’t worry, though, none of them had spider legs in them today.”
When Cassandra had checked her device and saw the list of search results that had been posted for the day, she had gone through several emotions -- most ending up with her wondering if perhaps living in a world without technology really hadn't been all that bad. She hadn't had to worry about such things in Whitestone. But between her conversations with Gilmore and Vex'ahlia, she had at least begun to not only feel marginally less embarrassed, but she had begun the process of sorting through her emotions, too.
Cassandra knew that she was mature for her age. Though she had a young face, most were still surprised when they found out just how young she actually was. Whether it was the white that streaked her hair or just something in her eyes, she didn't know. But while she had gone through immeasurable loss and manipulation at the hands of the Briarwoods, she had also been denied other things -- like being able to be a normal teenager, having a social life that extended beyond cabinet meetings and coordinating with hired staff, and relationships. Combine that inexperience with a general fear of getting close to any one person and, well -- it led her to Google.
Which, in the end, she knew was a bit silly, if only because she didn't need to be told that she had strong feelings for Verin. He may have been her first real relationship, but she knew what they had was special. He had proven it all over again in the wake of this small disaster; he had shown her kindness, patience, and an obvious desire to want to support her. Cassandra was still getting used to having someone she could rely on in such a way; for too long, after all, it had been just her, even after Percy had come back into her life.
What she had said to Gilmore had been true: Cassandra couldn't imagine not having Verin in her life. What more, she didn't want to. And as scary as that might have been, she was realizing it was pretty wonderful, too.
And that meant that it wasn't too hard for her to smile, despite the embarrassment she'd felt earlier, when Verin had come home with the food. Cassandra tried to help, fetching silverware and dishes as she said, "Someday I will have a strong enough stomach for that. Today," she continued, setting down all she'd gathered and stopping next to him, "is likely not one of those days. Too much sugar, you see."
Setting another container of soup down between himself and Cassandra, Verin nodded soberly. “Yes, yes. You absolutely cannot pair spider legs with too much sugar. It really takes away from the rich flavor of the former, and perpetuates an absolutely horrendous case of indigestion,” he said, last only a moment before breaking back into a laughing smile. “I’ll convert you one day,” he teased. “One day when Jester forgets to stock the kitchen with cupcakes and assorted pastries.”
He didn’t really mind that his palate was not quite to the taste of his friends. It was hard enough to recreate his foods from home here without having to make enough for the entire Xhorhaus to partake. Sharing pieces of home with this woman he cared so deeply for would be nice, yes, but he was confident that there were plenty of pieces of home still to share that did not involve delicacies of the spider variety.
Moving over to the cabinets, Verin pulled open one of the doors and ever-so-carefully lifted two bowls down for the soup. Glancing over his shoulder, he asked, “Did you want crackers while I’m over here, too?”
"Yes, please," Cassandra requested, slipping into one of the chairs at the table. She was sure that they wouldn't be alone in the room for too long, so she found herself grateful for the momentary reprieve from the general chaos that tended to be the Xhorhaus. She loved it, of course; in many ways, it reminded her of her childhood, when she was the youngest of a whole horde of de Rolos. They were relatively well-behaved nobles when they were supposed to be, but she thought fondly about just how loud they could all be when they wanted to.
The castle had felt very devoid of that, though it had gotten a bit more busy after Vox Machina had finished saving the world. In the Xhorhaus, though, there were enough adults, children, and pets running about to ensure things wouldn't stay silent for long. Now, though, with there being an elephant in the room in the shape of a four letter word and search results, Cassandra was happy to have a few minutes alone.
"Thank you, by the way," she spoke up, her gaze falling on Verin. A warmth bloomed in her chest as she added, "For spoiling me."
Grabbing the whole box of crackers, Verin tucked it under his arm and walked both it and the bowls and spoons back over to the table. The soups here were so different than the stews he’d made back home, but he found himself looking forward to having a bit of each of them. He had a feeling his enjoyment of the foods native to Vallo happened to be bolstered by the company he tended to have for each meal.
He set everything down on the table and then took a moment to lean down and give Cassandra a soft, sweet kiss before taking a seat. “It’s easy to do. I like doing things that make you smile,” he replied, his own smile lighting up his features. He hesitated a moment before adding, “That’s not changing, you know. Ever.”
It was pretty impossible for Cassandra to not smile at that, between the kiss and the words that were both so freely given. That was one thing that she appreciated so much about Verin, as it was; her history was littered with reasons to lean toward subterfuge or hiding her true feelings, first as a young member of nobility and then purely due to survival instinct. It was something she had learned to do, but also came to expect of those around her. With Verin, however, she had learned very early on in their acquaintance that she didn't have to worry about such things. He was straightforward and honest, which meant that she could be straightforward and honest, in turn.
Cassandra's hands moved to set out the bowls for each of them, as well as the cutlery, before moving to open one of the containers of soup. It smelled amazing and she didn't hesitate in serving it out, even as she said, "I really like the sound of that."
Pausing her movements, her gaze lifted to Verin's and she set the container and spoon down for a moment. "I know that you said we didn't have to talk about what happened today if I didn't want to, but -- " She lifted her hand that was still warm from the soup to tuck a straight bit of her hair behind her ear, then continued, "but I think that I would like to, just for a moment. If that's okay with you."
Verin’s heart would have done a flip if such a thing were possible. He was prepared to wait for this conversation, but the fact that Cassandra was already ready to bring it up was a tribute to the fact that they had--he was pretty sure--the kind of relationship in which they could trust one another with these sorts of sometimes complicated conversations. That she trusted him at all did things to him that he could never possibly put into words.
With an encouraging nod, he said, “It’s definitely okay with me if you want to talk about it. Honestly, I just wanted to follow your lead here.”
As her hand came back to the table, he reached out and wrapped it in his. “What’s on your mind?”
Looking down at the table, Cassandra let out a short breath as her gaze locked on their hands. She turned hers, allowing for their fingers to twine together.
"I had made those searches a couple of weeks ago," she admitted, because it seemed like a good starting off point. "It hadn't been a thought that had crossed my mind for the first time then or anything. If I'm honest, it has been something I've thought about a great deal, especially since everything with the snowglobe." She thought back briefly on those days, particularly before they knew for sure that a portion of the Outlander population hadn't actually been sent home. Cassandra hadn't known how much she was allowed to mourn, still processing her brother's disappearance all these many months later. But once he was back, there was no denying her feelings.
At least, there was mostly no denying -- hence the searches.
Cassandra let her fingers move in his hand again, spreading out his fingers until she could trace the lines of his palm. "You mean so much to me," she continued, looking up from her hands to his face. "I didn't need the internet to tell me that, but -- I wanted to be sure of myself, before I told you exactly how much you mean to me."
Verin could still hear Caleb’s voice Sending a message to Essek while the pair of them had been stuck in that hellscape Snowglobe Vallo. Verin says he loves Cassandra. And while he’d known then that the message had been sent in jest and that it was unlikely to have reached Cassandra’s ears, he had simultaneously felt the truth of it and a momentary panic that she might hear it from someone other than him. He’d known for awhile how important this woman was to him, but knowing her well enough to love her also meant knowing that it wasn’t something he needed to push too fast. He’d let their relationship move at the pace she was most comfortable with and he thought that maybe there were ways to say I love you that didn’t require putting a voice to the feeling.
Lifting his free hand, he rested his palm against her cheek, brushing his thumb against her skin.
“Cass,” he said with an affectionate laugh, “that is the most normal, understandable thing I have ever heard. Gods, if I’d thought about it, I probably would have done an internet search, too, and I only regret that the network forced your hand in initiating this conversation. That being said, I should probably tell you that I’ve been thinking much the same since I almost died and then you almost died. It put a pretty clear perspective on how desperately I don’t want to lose this.”
Cassandra let out a soft huff of a breath, something like relief in the response. Leaning into Verin's touch at her cheek, she turned to press a gentle kiss to his palm, then leaned out of his hand completely to press another to his lips.
Her life may have had its trials, many of which she was still working through, but Cassandra knew love. And for as normal and understandable as Verin and Vex and even Gilmore had said that her questioning might have been, she still found herself feeling silly in that very moment; of course she loved Verin. And, putting together all of the acts of service and quiet moments and the progression that had been their relationship, of course those feelings were returned. Her heart felt light in a way that wasn't entirely new. In fact, it was familiar, having felt it again and again since Verin had stepped into her life.
Breaking the kiss, Cassandra pressed her forehead to Verin's and smiled. "I love you, Verin Thelyss."
As Cassandra closed the gap between them, Verin let his arm move behind her. He wanted to pull her to him, to wrap his arms around her and hold her close and swim in the comfort of her presence in his life, but their current seating arrangements were not necessarily conducive to such a thing. There was time, or at least as much time as they could hope for in whatever world they landed in. He accepted her kiss, though, and returned it with no hesitation or question as to where they stood with one another.
A bright smile crept across his lips as her forehead rested against his. For all that had lead to this conversation and the time he’d spent sure of his own feelings without having questioned hers, Verin thought maybe he’d already know she loved him, too. And no matter how much he and his brother might joke about how scandalized their mother would be over their feelings for their respective favorite humans, Verin felt confident that this had been an inevitability, and one that he would trade for absolutely nothing.
“I love you, Cassandra Johanna von Musel Klossowski de Rolo.” He chuckled and then leaned forward to kiss her again. Nothing and everything had changed and he decided that, for the moment, the soup could likely wait.