ᴄᴀᴛʀᴀ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡꜰɪꜱᴛ-ᴍᴇᴏᴡᴍᴇᴏᴡ (hisses) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-03-08 08:45:00 |
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Catra’s eyes snapped open, and she choked down a scream. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was - she was actually there, wasn’t she? She didn’t budge, didn’t even have a muscle twitch. Not her ears, not her tail. Every bit of her was stiff, blood turning into ice as she tried to figure out which Darla she was on because she knew the gentle thrum reverberating through the ship but there was something different about this one. They weren’t suspended amongst stars in the dark of space, and this wasn’t the brig and this wasn’t some standard cot. It was an actual fucking bed, plush mattress and all. Softer blankets imbued with a scent - Adora’s - that began to thaw her out. It brought her back to here, where she’d clearly been this whole time except her brain clearly hadn’t. Like it had been elsewhere, scissors to hair, lungs filled with green liquid and electricity and - Some creatures are destined only for destruction. She remembered. Catra remembered what happened, after she was able to send Glimmer away - after the clones pulled her from the cell, Prime’s sinister eyes, the way he caressed her cheek and let her know that he’d be bringing her into the light. How he’d cast out all the shadows that plagued her, that she’d be better once she joined his side and if she didn’t see it now, he’d make her see it soon. In turn, Catra kept laughing at him. Prime didn’t like that. He made sure she suffered in body and in mind. He took a stroll down her memories, flipped through them like pages of an album and witnessed every interaction she had ever had with Adora; from when they met to every silly argument, their times up on their spot as they planned for the future, how they couldn’t keep away from one another even in the battlefield. The day she defected. He dissected every moment, every thought, and came to a realization that tickled him with delight. You love her, she recalled his voice echoing through the chambers of her mind, and she broke your heart. And for whatever reason, despite knowing every single slight and hurt she had tossed back at Adora, Prime was convinced she’d come for her. Catra argued against it until she couldn’t, fought tooth and nail until the end and then there was an eerie, unsettling calm that took over. It was almost peaceful. Almost. Then she became little sister, a pawn in his game to take down She-Ra and somehow, he had been right all along. Adora came for her. Catra remembered the fight; every slash of her claws and broken bones and the sound of Adora’s voice calling her home. The feeling of sinking into a cold darkness (death), then a bright flash with something warm and tingly (Adora, bringing her back from it). There was more after that, she remembered more but - She exhaled a quivering sigh and forced herself upright. They were in the Captain’s Quarters, officially made into their bedroom and it was Vallo, not space. And her hair was long still, somehow, and she raked her shaking claws through it in relief until they skimmed something metallic against the back of her neck. It caused her to freeze again. Then lose her fucking mind two seconds later. That scream she had choked down surfaced, cracked and scared. Her claws ripped into the base of her neck, right where a chip was stubbornly attached to her spine. A small splatter of blood hit the sheets. “Get it off me, get it off me!” Adora’s nightmares hadn’t stopped quite yet. Her appointment with Dan had been eye-opening and she’d been diligently scribbling every dream down in a journal upon waking and following the steps laid out for her in the sheet of tips he’d given her. But that didn’t mean it all vanished immediately. She was getting better, leaning to exert some control, and up until recently, she’d been making good progress. The flickers of the Prime-Catra hybrid creature that had haunted her were fading away. Now, though, they were replaced with dreams of blood on Catra’s hands. Ever since Richie had revealed his vague and very unhelpful vision to Catra, Adora had been dwelling in it. She’d even had a minor freakout about the whole thing when she first found out, but she’d been trying to keep from doing that again. Wringing her hands and worrying about it constantly wasn’t doing either of them any good, and it could be totally innocuous. They had come up against their share of gnarly creatures since joining the Defense Department, most notably the Murder Turkeys. There had definitely been blood on Catra’s hands then, so maybe it was something like that? But even with that in mind, she wasn’t sleeping much at all. She was up at least once every couple of hours during the night checking to make sure Catra was okay. She tried not to text excessively when they were apart during the day, mindful of giving her girlfriend the space she needed and not smothering her, but she kept a closer eye on her than usual. She didn’t know what was coming (and neither, unfortunately, did Richie), so she was doing her best to just be vigilant. Feeling Catra stir slightly beside her wasn’t unusual when she was having nightmares. In her half-conscious state, Adora didn’t do much more than squirm a bit closer to her, hoping her presence would be enough to soothe her back to sleep. Her quick, slightly panicked breathing started to ease, and Adora let herself start to drift off again for a minute. Then Catra screamed and jolted up in bed, and Adora’s heart jumped into her throat as she shot up beside her. She forced herself to wake up, to focus, and her eyes instantly swiveled to Catra’s hands — her claws, specifically, — digging into the back of her neck. Blood was certainly flowing, dripping down her fingers, and Adora’s hand shot forward to interfere. “Hey, hey, stop,” she said firmly, loudly, enclosing both of her girlfriend’s wrists in one hand while the other hand swept her hair forward to see what she was digging at. Her mouth went dry and her heartbeat began echoing in her ears when she saw the glowing green of one of Prime’s chips embedded in Catra’s neck. How the hell was that here?! “Catra, look at me,” she pleaded, her voice softening. She tilted her head until her eyes met blue and gold. “He’s not here. You’re safe, sweetie, I promise. I’m here. Breathe for me, okay? Please?” She had to get Catra calm before she could get this taken care of and that was her focus, despite how quickly her mind was already racing for a solution. Miraculously, Catra stopped. She had been through this before already, hadn’t she - the raw panic, turning her claws into herself because the chip and Prime’s clothes and Adora had helped her through all of it already, hadn’t she? Yeah. She did. This wasn’t new. She wasn’t in those white garbs. He wasn’t hunting them (at least, not right now). Adora didn’t hate her. Adora was here. So she breathed, in and out. Her pupils were barely visible slits, and her tail was bristled but she didn’t bother trying to pull at her wrists. “You came for me,” was what she managed to pitifully croak out, and then it was followed by this broken laugh that was both disbelief and relief. Catra always thought that if she were to see the rest of what Prime had in store for her it meant she’d be gone from here. That everything they’ve been through in this weird, magical world would be erased and that she’d never know all that she had lost here but clearly not? It was trippy. She could have sworn she was there, right there. The laugh became this small, rattled sob and her eyes were freshly wet as she knocked their foreheads together. “You actually came for me,” she repeated with a sad whisper. Catra remembered her attempts to get through to her, the way she held her close when she felt herself slipping away into nothingness. Adora came. “You really are the biggest idiot.” As soon as Adora felt the fight melt out of Catra’s body, she loosened her grip and instead linked their hands together, heedless of the fresh blood covering Catra’s. She would get them both out of bed to wash up in a few minutes. Right now, she was in comfort mode, pressing little kisses to her girlfriend’s cheeks until their foreheads pressed together. Freakouts like this were rare on Catra’s end, so Adora knew to give her a little extra affection and reassurance to keep her calm. “You remember now?” she asked softly, a little incredulous. She had heard of people receiving memory updates from their home worlds. She hadn’t experienced it herself, and she was in no rush to after what she’d left behind, but a piece of her was grateful for it in this moment. Now Catra knew for herself that she had come to take her home. She had accepted that, for some reason, she was behind in their timeline a while ago, with Adora’s insistence and explanations, but now she got to see for herself that it had really happened. The chip was the scary part. Had that come with the memories? It must have. But how? And why? It came off like some sort of punishment, and Catra had been working so hard to be good in Vallo. She had never deserved it back home, of course — but she certainly didn’t deserve it here. “Of course I came for you. Told you nothing was keeping me away.” She nudged Catra’s nose with her own and pressed a brief kiss to her lips. “I know you told me not to, but since when have I ever listened to you.” She stole another kiss, smirking playfully in the darkness in an attempt to soothe her. “I’d do it a million times over if it meant saving you.” Catra was crying. It sucked. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t believed Adora when she had told her what happened, but trying to picture how it all went without really knowing hadn’t been something she could do - she had known she’d be chipped, and that they’d fight and she’d end up dying (albeit briefly) so it wasn’t exactly a surprise. Adora had struggled with it, had nightmares about it but Catra also just… didn’t quite understand the extent of what happened. Now she did. Now she saw how she inflicted those fresher scars, and what’d she meant about Prime’s taunt in using her as his new vessel - it seemed completely insane, but now Catra wondered if he would for the sake of getting under Adora’s skin. That was what he did. He didn’t just find physical weak points. He aimed straight for the heart. He had it out for Adora, and he was unlike anything they’ve ever faced back on Etheria. And somehow, Adora got them all out of there alive like the goddamn heroic idiot she was despite her half-assed plan. “You’re so stupid,” Catra choked out another laugh. The words held no cruelty - they just bled a sincere, overflowing fondness as she tried to match her kisses back despite being a total mess. Her lips and cheeks were salted with tears and she was smearing some blood on her, but whatever, she was using her other hand to hold her cheek. “I love you and I’m still sorry for everything and -” Hiccup. Oh, god. That was a lot of word vomit. Their reunion after Adora having gotten her off the ship went nothing like this (things were still a bit rocky back there) and she hadn’t, like, intended to throw out the one confession that’s been festering in her heart for practically her entire life but she had said it. Catra couldn’t take those words back. She didn’t really want to. Seeing Catra cry made Adora’s heart hurt. She was always so strong in a snarky, sometimes bordering on cruel sort of way. But Adora knew better than anyone what a front that was. She had seen the more vulnerable side of her for years, and since they’d been in Vallo, more so than ever. Their relationship had changed here. Not just in shifting from enemies back to friends and onto girlfriends, but in the way they talked to each other. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but they were trying and it was better. They were truly happy here, even with all the baggage they carried. She could feel the slick of blood being spread over her cheek, but she leaned into the hand there anyway, uncaring. She let Catra talk and cry and laugh and get everything she wanted to say out without interruption, knowing from experiencing that it was just a part of processing all that had happened. Part of her wanted to prod for more details, find out if there was anything else she’d missed, but it wasn’t the time. Especially not after that. “You love me?” she asked quietly, her voice wavering and her eyes wide. She had hoped so. She had been feeling it for such a long time, longer than she’d even realized before coming to Vallo. Lately, it had taken a conscious effort to not say it herself and risk scaring Catra away. Even after all this time, she was afraid one wrong move would send her running. It was silly, especially after they’d gotten through that big fight that followed the Murder Turkey Incident, but the irrational fear stuck. She could love her without saying so if it meant keeping her and the relationship they were building. Now, though, Catra had let it slip. It obviously hadn’t been planned, but Adora knew it was real and sincere. She totally melted, that dopey smile spreading across her lips as she whispered, “I love you too.” She raised both hands to cradle her girlfriend’s face and kiss her again, this time letting it deepen and linger. Butterflies flapped madly in the pit of her stomach and warm tingles spread through her chest. Without realizing it, she had started to glow. The revelation was probably surprising, considering that Catra had been a total shit for the past three years - burying every ounce of affection she had ever felt for Adora, convinced that she had never cared to begin with and that was why it was so easy for her to have left. Getting out of that mindset had been a process. It was something that she still worked on even now, as the seeds of doubt had been stubbornly sewn and she was left to pick them out and toss them to the wind the more time they spent together. Then came Prime, perusing through her fucking memories and feelings as if it was some juicy novel for him to consume and calling her out on what she’d been trying to shove down all this time: You loved her. Catra did. She’s always loved her, and was apparently terrible at feelings. She and Adora had been pitted against one another since they were children, one raised to be the good one while she was brought down to be the bad one. It tended to conflict with things. But Adora came back, regardless of everything - and Catra couldn’t grasp the concept before and was barely grasping it now. The fact that she had responded with I love you too before she could even figure out how to properly make words again was another one she had trouble with. The dilemma was brief, because Adora kissed her and Catra obviously kissed her back like she was her lifeline, like she was everything. There was something different about this kiss, too. It was warm, and there was a calmness that spread through her bones; reminded her of the feeling she felt right before she woke up in Adora’s arms, resurrected by She-Ra’s - wait a minute. “Uhhh,” she blinked wide once she broke the kiss, sniffling. “Adora?” For once, Adora’s mind was completely clear. She was focused on nothing other than Catra pressed up against her, face in her hands, kissing her like her life depended on it. And she was giving it back in kind. It wasn’t every day a girl confessed her love to her childhood best friend, and she wanted to enjoy that feeling of elation that followed. It felt like everything was finally slotting into place. She felt warm and content and powerful, consumed with love for the girl she loved. It wasn’t until Catra broke the kiss and said her name, a question in her voice, that she realized she had, um, changed. She pulled one hand back to see She-Ra’s golden cuff wrapped around her upper arm, then lifted it to feel the tiara framing her face. It had been months since she transformed (not counting that blip that led to her concussion) and now here she was. No effort, no trying, just overwhelming love for Catra and She-Ra was back. “Wow,” she breathed, returning her hand to stroke Catra’s cheek. She was lost for words, but the sappy look on her face said it all. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was — not only to have She-Ra back but to finally know Catra loved her back as much as she loved her. “Don’t ruin it,” Catra huffed, because that face - it was stupid cute and it made her flush red and ow was she finally beginning to feel the sting of her neck from what she’d done to herself. This new She-Ra form was, um, definitely different. She had seen it in action before, when Adora had been able to transform to fight in space without other protections as if it was nothing. There were some feelings about it. For once, they were all good ones. Her wrist was currently too wide for her to completely close her hand around it but Catra reached for it anyway, squeezing. Adora had turned into her glowing, eight-foot-tall alter-ego and was almost a bit much for their bed, and they just admitted that they loved each other which was… okay, yeah. Wow was probably right. A lot had happened since she’d woken up. She breathed in deep and breathed back out, a little shaky but… better. It figures that Adora’s looking like a flawless goddess of light while she looked like hell chewed her up and spit her back out. “I don’t know if I should ask how you finally managed to transform first,” she smirked tiredly. “Or why your tiara looks so suspiciously familiar.” Y’know, like Catra’s former mask. “I think ‘I love you’ basically answers both of those questions,” Adora chuckled, brushing her thumb across Catra’s cheek. She felt more tuned into She-Ra’s magic than she had in a very long time, and her sudden transformation was clearly brought on by this influx of love she and Catra had shared. It filled her with a sense of peace and, for once, a quiet mind. Until she realized that, in their moment of bliss, she’d completely forgotten about the chip. Her expression turned concerned, and another golden glow surrounded her as she shrunk back into her normal body. “Are you okay, babe?” she asked, reaching beneath Catra’s hair to gently feel around for the chip. She didn’t try to pull or move it in the slightest, but just feeling it beneath her finger made a lump form in her throat. She couldn’t understand how this was possible. Was it just some sort of magical fluke that came with the memory update? “Does it hurt?” Adora saying those words again left Catra in a daze because oh, yeah - it probably did answer those questions. Which was flattering? And nice, like how she caressed her cheek with that oversized thumb as she blinked blankly at her. It wasn’t anything alarming, just her brain working to catch up and piece together that onslaught of new memories she suddenly had. Kind of wild. Adora was also beautiful in either form so there may have been some lovestruckness there too, let her have that. “Uh, no,” she replied after a few seconds of what was probably gawking after the glow subsided and Adora was Adora-sized again. “The chip doesn’t. Scratches sting a little. There’s a way to get it off without messing up my nerves? I have to find...someone.” That couldn’t be too difficult - someone in Vallo had to have a steady hand and some obsession with medicine or science. “I remember Entrapta taking it off so I don’t know why it’s here.” Maybe it was a metaphorical slap in the face? It was probably pointless questioning it when she just wanted it off. “Entrapta took it off?” Adora’s eyebrows furrowed. She was glad for that, but the last thing she remembered was putting Catra to bed in the brig to rest and recover from the whole ordeal. She had planned to speak to Entrapta about it at some point, but since it was damaged enough to stop working, it wasn’t as high on the priority list as Catra’s well-being. “I guess that means you’re ahead of me now.” She slipped out from beneath the sheets, bare feet connecting with the carpeted floor. Spirit was asleep in the puppy bed they’d bought him, apparently undisturbed by Catra’s freakout. She held out both hands for Catra to take. “If the chip’s not bothering you now, we should get you cleaned up and back to sleep. We can post something in the morning to see if there’s anyone willing to take it out.” She didn’t like leaving it there, but there wasn’t much they could do about it in the middle of the night. She would stay up, though, keep an eye on the situation. There was still some fear that even universes away, Prime now had a hold on Catra again, on both of them. She wanted to think it was impossible, but he was old and powerful and had crushed galaxies for centuries. That was terrifying, even here. She still didn’t really have any idea how to get rid of him, if that was possible, and this was putting her right back on that edge. Seeing Entrapta again had drudged up a lot of shit, like excess guilt - as if she hadn’t been drowning in an endless pool of that already. Having been stuck on a ship with a handful of people she had personally hurt sent Catra into a flight mode, where she wanted to get away and not face any of them but that wasn’t how she was supposed to fix things. If she was sorry, then she had to stay and own up to it. It had led to Entrapta forgiving her for what she’d done so it was a start. “Ahead but not by too much,” she assured, taking Adora’s hands to hoist herself off the bed without too much wobble. Hers were still bloodied. Richie’s vision did come to fruition, and she was glad that it was only her blood and she didn’t like, wake up under Prime’s thrall and attack Adora in her fucking sleep. “It’s… still rocky for us back there, but we slept together?” Wait, that needed clarification. “Like - actual sleeping, I mean. Ugh. And talked like we did when I went to your apartment when we first got here. We’re on the right path to something better and if we figured it out here, then we have to figure it out there.” They were making amends at their own pace despite the threat Prime imposed on them and that meant everything. It was harder there, though. So much was happening and here it was… easier. There was no pressure. They were able to sort it out with more precision and care. Anyway, she sorely needed to wash her hands and whip her hair up into some messy bun to clear it away from the chip and thin wounds she’d given herself so to the bathroom they went. A short walk from the actual bed to it, since Captain’s Quarters were fancy and had a private one. It wasn’t anything luxurious or big, but they were used to simplicity and basic functions. It was good enough. Hearing that, knowing they were working on repairs back home, too, definitely helped Adora feel a bit better. It was odd to think about — she tended to think since she was here, time had come to a stop back home, but that clearly wasn’t the case. And it was a good thing. Some way or another, they would take out Prime. The four of them and the Princess Alliance combining forces? She could believe it would happen. She followed Catra into the bedroom and guided her up to the sink. “We can shower if you want, but I figured you’d prefer this. Less water.” She flashed her girlfriend a teasing smirk, leaning forward to wash her hands and face. It was quick for her, easier to wash skin than to scrub Catra’s fur clean, thin as it was. Once the blood had washed away, she poured out more soap and wrapped her hands around one of Catra’s to work up a lather. “You can’t hear him, right? Or feel him?” she questioned. She tried to make sure she just sounded curious, but there was an obvious undertone of concern. She could handle it if that was the case, but she needed to know. If Catra felt even an inkling of Prime, she would go bang on the DOA’s door and demand they wake up someone science-y who could fix this. One thing about living with Adora was that there were elastic scrunchies literally everywhere, so finding a stray one to use was easy. Having the chip attached to her sucked but she was also glad that her hair hadn’t changed - and yeah, having it all cut off meant she felt lighter and it was easier to manage except it left her uncomfortably exposed. Not to mention that having a haircut given to her by Horde Fucking Prime was just weird. He’d done enough to her. Let her have her goddamn hair. “No,” she sighed, shaking her head after she put her mane up into a bun. The adrenaline that had her jolted ebbed and left her feeling meh. She let Adora take over with her hands - it felt nice, and she knew this was her way of taking care of her. She’d give her that control if it made her feel better. “I can’t. The chip’s damaged but I know I was still...connected to the hive mind? He was using it to track us the entire time. Before Entrapta removed it I was able to see what his plans for Etheria were. He’s working on chipping everyone there.” Catra wasn’t about to test whether or not she was connected to it here (though she knew if she thought long and hard about something, she could remember some weird information). She was sure whatever magic that ran Vallo was more powerful than that jerkwad and wouldn’t draw him here. Or she at least hoped so, anyway. That issue seemed specific to their own timeline. Adora squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to stifle the guilty feeling that threatened to suffocate her when she heard that news. She knew it wasn’t her fault. There was nothing she could do. But that didn’t make her feel any less responsible. Venturing off-planet to find Catra and Glimmer had left Etheria open to attack by Horde Prime. Nothing could make her regret that, but they would be returning to an even bigger problem than they’d left behind. Especially if Catra’s chip had put Horde Prime on their tail. She took a breath, opened her eyes, and turned the sink back on to let Catra rinse off her hands. She reached for a clean washcloth and dipped it under the water. “Turn around so I can get your neck,” she requested. “We should probably put some antiseptic on these, too.” The scratches were shallow and probably wouldn’t take long to heal, but she’d rather be overcautious than risk infection. Catra knew that look on her - knew that she’d be beating herself up about it, always bearing the entire weight of Etheria on her shoulders. Adora had been better here, but the burden was never fully gone. It wouldn’t be until they witnessed a resolution to the war with their own eyes. She was wordless when she washed the soap and blood off her. She was wordless when she dried her hands off with a nearby washcloth, and when she spun around to give her access to her neck. As far as the damage by her claws went, it wasn’t anything that wouldn’t close up within a week. Adora had caught her hands in time before they went deeper, at least - she probably would have tried to rip her spine out if it hadn’t been for outside intervention. “For what it’s worth,” she started quietly, crossing her arms over herself tight. “Even if you people are terrible at actually making decent plans and lack, like, the mental depth to understand the dangers of all the situations you put yourselves into?” Catra was poking lovingly at her impulsiveness. “When it comes down to it, between you and Prime - my bet’s on you. We’ll win. And it’s not because of She-Ra, either. It’s you. She-Ra doesn’t matter without you.” Mentally, Adora was anxiously spiraling. Having these things she knew were a problem brought to her attention again and having no recourse to adjust and make any real difference was hard for her. For three years, she’d been the Rebellion’s leader and figurehead. Or, well, She-Ra had been, at least. And for eighteen years before that, Shadow Weaver weighed her down with expectations of her role in the Horde when she was old enough. Vallo was the first place she’d found a real reprieve and managed to push all of those feelings aside, until it all came rushing back. She hadn’t expected Catra to say anything, though she should have. Bow and Glimmer had gotten good at reading her over the years, but no one beat out Catra. Growing up together had forged this crazy, unbreakable connection. Sometimes, it genuinely felt like Catra could read her mind, no words needed. But those words made a world of difference. “You know me too well,” Adora murmured, leaning in to kiss one fluffy ear. She worried about that more than she’d ever like to admit, if people valued her more as She-Ra than as just Adora. She-Ra had certainly been the reason Glimmer had brought her back to Bright Moon when they’d met. Adora herself would have just been discarded — sent back to the Horde if they were kind, subdued and imprisoned if they were quick enough and crafty enough to bring her down. She-Ra was the force they needed to take on the Horde, and Adora just happened to come along with that. She knew that wasn’t true, of course. She knew Bow and Glimmer and the Alliance loved her and valued her for her own skills, but that didn’t stop the self-doubt. And hearing from Catra that she was important, especially after months of struggling with summoning She-Ra, put a lot of those doubts to rest. She tossed the washcloth into the sink and twined both arms around her girlfriend’s waist. Antiseptic could wait a minute while she got some snuggles. “I know I can’t do anything here, but…I stopped trying. I stopped wanting to get back because I have you here, and none of that…” She sighed and slipped her hand beneath Catra’s sleep shirt to stroke her stomach, wanting to feel as much of her warmth as she could. “It’s not that Etheria didn’t matter. But you mattered more. My priorities changed. Is that…awful?” Catra let her arms drop only so she could clasp her hands over hers to squeeze, leaning back into her chest. A rolling of purrs started up like a thundercloud. Months ago she would have argued that she didn’t know Adora as well as she thought she did, but once she stopped taking her departure as a personal slight, once the rage and resentment and hurt dulled - she was finding these missing pieces that finally made sense once put together. Things were clearer now when they didn’t fit the roles of hero and villain. “It’s not,” she breathed out, her heart practically bursting at hearing her say you mattered more when the feelings of not being worth a damn were thriving at the edges of her mind. Kind of silly when Adora had said otherwise as she held her battered body on Prime’s ship, and literally said she loved her moments ago. Some emotions took a while to be rationalized, and that was true for them both. “You’re allowed to want things beyond this stupid war, and you deserve them more than you know. Us being stuck here won’t change the course of what happens back home. So whatever you want out of this place while we have it - we’ll make it work.” “We’ll make it work,” Adora agreed, breathing out another sigh — this one much more content than the last. Catra had this way of getting through to her and reassuring her that no one else could touch. On her own, she would be a mess of conflicting emotions, especially without a purpose or someone to tether her. Catra had kept her so steady since they’d first been pulled here. She pulled back, reaching out to open the medicine cabinet and snag the little bottle of antiseptic. She pumped a bit out onto her fingers and began gently rubbing the gel into the scratches on Catra’s neck. “You deserve that, too, you know. More than the war, more than you know,” she pointed out, echoing her girlfriend’s words. “The situation we were in back in Etheria…it wasn’t right. The Horde and Shadow Weaver, they screwed us up and made us think we could never be more than what they made us. But if I can be, you can be. You are.” She wanted to make sure that stuck for Catra. Because she was the one that was always told she was useless growing up. Shadow Weaver had lifted Adora up and slammed Catra down in the same breath, sometimes more than just verbally. Even Adora had said some crappy things to her in the past, without thinking, and she’d never deserved that. She deserved to be where they were now — happy and free to be herself, without their mentor looming over her. “Do you want bandaids on these?” she asked, turning to stash the antiseptic away again. Catra felt her throat grow dry and tight. Those words ricocheted back at her - she wished she could believe it, wished she felt like she was deserving of everything Adora thought she was worth. One day, maybe. She imagined it’d be a long journey to ever get there. Still, her words yielded, uh - feelings. In the form of a small sniffle, and watery eyes that were dried once she brought her hands up to wipe them. “No bandaids,” Catra answered and turned to face her, hands reaching out to grab her by the hips. “Just - come here?” She dragged her in close, tail wrapping around her thigh before going in for a kiss. Gentle, eager, claws digging into the fabric of her shirt as she held her close. Kissing Adora had easily and quickly become one of her favorite things, but now she felt she could kiss her in this whole new way. Like everything she had poured into it before was finally out and known and acknowledged, and it wasn’t some secret that needed deciphering. Adora sank into Catra’s kiss, pressing herself as close to her as she could possibly get. The outpouring of emotion she felt in that kiss made her hands tremble when she lifted them to cup her girlfriend’s face, thumbs stroking across her cheeks. Having confirmed now that they loved each other seemed to have only intensified all those good feelings kissing always ignited inside her. “I love you,” she whispered, letting their foreheads meet again. “I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere, not ever again.” It was a grand, probably unrealistic promise to make, especially here. She wouldn’t voluntarily leave, but Vallo had its own ideas about who should stay and who should go. People cycled in and out all the time, and not even the DOA knew the reasons why. But she was holding onto hope that now that Darla was here and they were settled, this was a promise she would be able to keep. Catra had let out a wet laugh at that promise. A bit unrealistic, yeah - she couldn’t put the blame on Adora if one day she woke up and she was just gone, but she appreciated the sentiment behind it. Knowing that she wanted to stay here, within the walls of a spaceship they were calling home was enough. It was everything she had ever wanted and more. “I love you too,” she echoed, sniffling again because god, what a night. Plus her brain was scrambled but that was okay because Adora was here and ultimately that’s what mattered. It was her turn to slip her hands under her shirt, palms scaling up her scarred back. Catra wanted the warmth too, wanted the feel of skin and muscle against her. She was real. Flesh and bone, the scent of soap and morning grass. “Always have. Ever since we were six, I’m pretty sure. You calling Octavia a dumb face really brought it home for me.” “Well, she was a dumb face,” Adora chuckled, pressing a kiss to Catra’s forehead. One arm slipped down to wind around her waist and give her a quick squeeze. She could stay like this forever, but it was time for Catra to get some rest — as much as she could, anyway. “C’mon, let’s go back to bed and get some snuggles. We can let Spirit get into bed with us if you need extra love.” Bed sounded good. Catra was tired but also a little terrified of closing her eyes again - she didn’t know what she’d end up with. More memories? More nightmares, considering she had a fuckton of new content to terrorize her subconscious? The echo of Horde Prime’s voice through her very brain cells was fresh, and so was the aftertaste of that neon green fluid she’d been submerged into. But she had to trust that wherever she woke up, whether it was Darla in Vallo Forest or Darla in Space - Adora would be there. “You’re enough love,” she promised with a drained smile, just the tiniest quirk of her mouth before she tugged Adora back towards their bed. There was a quick switch of blankets though - the original had splotches of blood from having clawed at herself - but they were able to settle in quickly. Catra was going to cling tonight. Arms and legs and tail tangled up into her girlfriend, face pressed into her neck. And no intention of letting go. |