• wildling kera ryan • (foxtrotter) wrote in valesco, @ 2023-05-04 15:10:00 |
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Entry tags: | jake bexley, kera ryan |
WHO BEXLEYS
WHAT HELLO? Look at us
WHERE Auror training pit arena thing!
Jake had read more books this year than he had in his entire life.
It wasn’t something he was proud of. Reading had never been something he did for fun, always having too much energy to sit and do something that felt like homework. At Hogwarts, he’d always been blown away by the Ravenclaws who could pull all-nighters studying for exams, and then when the test was over would hang out in the courtyard to catch up on the novels they had been forced to put to the side.
Moving into the auror training department as Mad-Eye’s interim replacement (they all knew his retirement would not last too long) had given Jake…he didn’t want to call it downtime, because there was always something he could be doing, but it allowed for his calendar to be more lenient with how he spent it.
So, he read, and it felt good to spend his time doing something a little mindless after focusing all day. Finding himself engrossed in Anneliese Jugson’s latest and not-yet-released book was not something Jake could have predicted, but he picked it up whenever he had a moment, like when Tonks decided she needed a lie down that turned into a twenty minute nap.
He’d let his sole trainee out early for the day, as she’d completed a rather difficult arrangement of curse breaking faster than either of them had anticipated. Jake now found himself reading again, lying on his back along the balance beam meant for perfecting your dueling stance. The book floated above his face, and he’d unconsciously gone slightly slack-jawed at a particularly surprising twist…
“Did you get to the part where we’re caught necking in the loo?”
Kera looked up at Jake, hands clasped behind her back and lips pressed together in crackling amusement. Had she intended to slink up on him when he was otherwise engaged? No, but she hadn’t gone out of her way to announce her arrival, either. It was a sight less and less rare, Jake unwound and reposed, but it continued to bring on a tight warmth to her chest. Caught in such unguarded moments, even now, it had given her a long, watchful pause outside the training arena before slipping inside.
But she had been looking for him. Not to stare, but to talk. Her eyes wandered around the room again, ignoring the stark memories brought on by such a familiar place (How many times had she been hurled off this dueling beam?) to check for other occupants. Tonks seemed to be gone for the day, and so… they were alone.
Kera thumbed her ring on her index finger one, two, three times before unlocking her hands. Extending them forward, she motioned for Jake to help her up onto the beam.
“So scandalous,” she snickered, flashing a coy smile.
Jake blanched. They get caught doing---what?
His face flushed immediately, and he sat up, swiping the floating book into his hands and snapping it shut. He wasn’t sure what had made him more flustered: the impending scene of which he will be thoroughly embarrassed by, or that Kera had spoiled a storyline that he hadn’t seen coming.
When she reached for his hands, Jake tossed the book to the floor and offered his own to help her up. It occurred to him that she was early; Kera usually met up with him after training hours---had she noticed his trainee out and about around the offices? He’d have surely thought Tonks would have fled the Ministry as fast as she could if given the chance.
“Tonks cleared level four curse breaking today,” Jake said, eyes going wide with his impressed surprise. A hint of pride twinkled as well, and he pressed his palms into the beam. “We should institute something like House points when things like that happen.”
Jake rolled his eyes playfully at the thought, though he knew he’d have appreciated some positive reinforcement during his training period.
“How was your day?” he asked, thinking she also must have gotten through her work earlier than anticipated.
She couldn’t help it; while Kera placed her palm to Jake’s cheek in thanks, her delight in his flush had a mischievous smile curling her lips too easily. It wasn’t everyday that stalwart Auror Bexley turned rosy. She would have savored it more, should have, but now wasn’t the time.
Now on the beam, Kera hoisted herself to her feet. Keeping a watchful eye on him, she balanced on one foot, bringing the other to her heel to begin slow, rocking steps back and forth. Mindless distraction of her feet, her hands stayed at her sides.
“Nothing as impressive as blowing cursebreakers out of their own profession or questioning the status quo like you two,” she admitted, eyes alight. She had seen Tonks in training, listened keenly when Jake told her of the trainee’s leaps and bounds. It was a great relief that no one in the department could deny Tonks’ promise, especially when something like positive encouragement was not tolerated. Both she and Jake knew why Cushioning Charms would never be allowed below the dueling beam.
“The same as yesterday and the day before that. Just… waiting in the woods, watching for someone to do something. Makes for short reports, at least.” Kera shrugged. If anything, her current intelligence assignment gave her too little to preoccupy herself and too much time for contemplative silence.
When Jake had been offered the opportunity to train the newest Auror recruit, he’d been worried about the repetitiveness, of feeling like every day would be the same as the one before. And, sometimes, there were days when they reviewed the same thing over, and over, and over, but there was a fulfillingness that came with it.
The Auror department hadn’t seen a new recruit in years, which at first brought chuckles from the current roster---what was Hogwarts doing? But then came the realization that maybe ‘fighting dark wizards’ wasn’t as necessary, as vital to the next generation, and…that brought a calmness many of them had missed for quite some time.
Then, of course, Sirius Black broke out of Azkaban, but one dark wizard roaming the entirety of the English Isles wasn’t something to get too concerned with…
Jake eyed Kera’s balancing act, and thought back to his actual training days. He’d hated the balance beam, but the footwork had come in handy many times over the years. Jake pressed down into the bar and, mustering all his strength, launched himself into a squat on the beam.
“Oof--my knees cannot handle that like they used to,” he said wryly, pushing himself to stand. He looked over at Kera. “Do you want to head out before they find some more woods for you to watch?”
Her brow rose at his quick reflexes, and Kera let out a short hum of approval.
“Yes,” she responded immediately, planting both feet down. But she really shouldn’t have said that after stalling for long enough; where had that gotten her? Here, where she had promised herself they couldn’t go home until she talked to him, and he was ready to leave, now. So…
To fight the restless urge to thumb at her fingers, Kera palmed her hair back and away from her face. Her hand brushed over the half-shaved section on the side of her head, a welcome and momentary grounding that provided a small reprieve from the churning of her gut. Before it was too late, she closed the gap between them and stopped Jake from dropping down to the floor.
“But not yet. I want to talk to you about something first.” Both her hands reached for him, but if it was to hide their slight twitch or silence the urge to take out her wand and cast an Imperturbable Charm, Kera couldn’t say. Happily, all she found was warmth as she gently held his face.
His eyebrows lifted with light concern. Kera didn’t seem upset, or like something was amiss, but she did not typically show such public displays of affection while they were at work.
“You alright?” Jake said, hand going to her elbow. His mind began to move, quickly, at what she could need to talk about that couldn’t have waited until they got home. Was she taking on another mission? Was she being reassigned?
But again, she didn’t seem upset, so Jake calmed his nerves and took on a curious look.
Clutching the sides of his face, Kera tugged Jake down to her level. Intent on watching every part of him so very carefully for the next few minutes, she locked her eyes with his. What she was about to say was important. She wanted to get it right, speak without reservation and not shy away or sow confusion like she had so many times before.
“Yes. Just— listen,” Kera said with a huff. When she felt he was situated properly in front of her, her hands dropped to his shoulders. Her fingers curled into his shirt as the strangest sensation of barbed nausea and sweeping calm equally took over her. She inhaled a deep, steadying breath.
“You told me after we got married that when it comes to… being a family,” Kera started slowly, “you don’t need more than me and you. You could want more, if I did too, but it’s different between those two things. Need and want.”
This, she knew. Accepting it fully, she most embarrassingly still struggled with. But it could only be just that: a struggle, not reality. Not anymore. Wild thoughts, suspicions, fears could come, and go, but that didn’t mean they needed to be acted on or given strength by evoking aloud. Not with him. Jake didn’t… Not with him.
“So I want to tell you,” Kera continued, her fingers now curling to prickle the sides of his neck, “that… I…”
She saw the way Jake looked at Violet, Willow, and Atticus. How he swept them into his arms, how he bent down to their level when they spoke, how they brought a light to his eyes she hadn’t seen before. And it made her… want. Desperately, terrifyingly want. So, clinging on to that frightening desire, she pushed out what she really meant to say.
“That I am ready to expand the Bexley household,” Kera finished. She stuck her chin out, set for a moment before tacking on a hasty, “If you still are.”
Jake’s eyes jumped about her face as a light buzzing filled his ears. Static, it was static, because---he couldn’t be hearing her correctly, could he? Could Kera really, on a random Thursday in the middle of the training room, be telling him that she wanted to start trying to have a baby?
His smile was wide before his brain caught up with everything he heard. Jake had been quite sure, for a very long time, that he would never have kids. And not because of Kera, no--she had brought the hope back, but because of who he was, and how his mind worked and how he worked and dealt with the words. It wouldn’t be good for a kid.
But Kera had helped him come back to life, helped him figure out a version of himself that wasn’t all that bad, one that he liked. And Ollie too, their journey together had taught them both valuable lessons, and along with Willa, the four of them made for some well-put-back-together grown-ups.
Grown-ups. Adults. The parents. The Comstock brood lifted his spirits for days after a visit---and even Charles, Malachy’s stepson, made his day with every shy wave. Jake felt like he’d been meant to be a pseudo-uncle all his life when he got to be with the little ones in his family. And he thought he was okay with that; he hadn’t realized how much he’d been yearning for more until Kera had asked if he was ready to expand their household.
His hands moved to her waist to grip her tightly.
“Yeah?” he croaked, surprised at the emotion stuck in his throat, in his whole body. A baby? A little Kera, maybe? What could be better? Jake shook his head, trying to get rid of his shock. “Let’s do it.”
His smile was contagious. It hadn’t brought on hers, though. No, the tentative smile blooming Kera’s lips bore from the emotion in Jake’s voice. It steadied her pounding heart, helped it slow down to a less alarming beat and burn with the brightest kind of warmth. She nodded madly.
“Okay,” Kera said, her voice surprisingly level. She reached for Jake again, her contentedness from his embrace spurring her thumb to smooth over the right half of his mouth. Her hand trailed its hook until it cupped his face. She smiled, and let out a garggled, breathy titter.
They were doing this. They could do this. She could do this. It was… it was… Why did she suddenly feel so windswept? When Kera had planned out this conversation in her head, turning it over many times to fine-tune the right words, the finished product had a significant amount of eloquence and meaning. Now, everything was all jumbled up and pushing to come out all at once.
“I know this means things will change for a bit,” she began with a fluttering ramble. They both knew this, but it was important to her that she acknowledge it aloud to him. Kera moved closer to Jake, her heels rising to leave just her toes balancing the beam. “Pulling back in the office, taking time away from the department, not… transforming, not… doing more things I’m forgetting now.”
Jake nodded along, knowing those things and knowing it was important to acknowledge them. But, did he really feel like delving into what those changes would be? No. His energy was fully focused on keeping close to Kera, on keeping his excitement from taking control and knocking them to the ground off this precarious position they’d found themselves in.
Pretty on point for the two of them though, yeah?
Under normal circumstances, Jake would easily slip into this conversation with Kera. Sometimes personal matters needed to be discussed and thought about professionally, but again, the electricity flowing through him was not allowing for any sort of normalcy.
Instead, Jake bent and put his arms behind Kera’s knees to quickly scoop her up into his arms, his core strength managing to keep them both upright as he swiped a step down the balance beam to once again plant his feet. Grinning, Jake nodded as if the whole time he’d been very focused on what she was saying. He’d heard her, of course, but focused? Nah.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said, and eyeing the distance to the floor, dropped down to the mat; Jake kept Kera secure in his arms, but his knees wailed in response. He looked at her with a bright smile once more before planting a sound kiss on her lips. “I reckon it’s time to go home, yeah?”