v . lufkin (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} vivantes) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valesco, |
“I have questioned almost everything I’ve ever done since the day you left.” Vivienne’s eyebrows were high as she nodded along with her words. There was a pain in her chest that she didn’t want to acknowledge at this moment, but she pushed through. “I spent weeks feeling like a complete disaster, like I couldn’t do anything right. And...I don’t do everything right. I know that.”
She paused, letting that sink in; learning to let go of the tight grip she held on so many things had helped ease her mind and body. But was that…? It almost felt like a trick question; if she had changed, would it have been enough? And if she hadn’t, what had been the point? How was she even supposed to prove... Her brow furrowed and she wondered if Adian even knew what answer he was looking for.
“I know not everything is going to go right, and that’s okay.” Her head nodded back and forth. “So...yeah, I’ve changed. You leaving forced me to go on my own journey, to take a look inside and figure out what I wanted from myself. For myself.
“And I think I’ve worked through a lot of what I didn’t like. Still figuring out some of it,” Vivienne said, feeling honest, her cheeks reddening. There was an initial shame at admitting there were parts of you that you ignored or hid away. But acknowledging them, knowing that...things could be better..again, she felt more at ease with herself than ever before.
“I found a lot of things that I did like along the way, too.” She smiled, looking down at her journal. Vivienne bit back asking if that was what he’d wanted to hear, finding that right now, it didn’t seem like the point.