ɛʆɛɳɑ giʆɓɛʀt (thediarist) wrote in valarnet, @ 2017-09-23 12:04:00 |
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Entry tags: | caroline forbes, elena gilbert, rose tyler |
Dear Diary,
I am not a believer. I am not. Vampires do not exist. It's impossible. The end. Finished. Whatever. Yet not. It's not finished. A diary is where the truth resides and I would be betraying you, diary and my future self, if I did not record what I experienced as it actually happened. I dreamed again last night. It picked up right where the other left off, with Stefan at the doorway, with a stake, and me demanding to know what he was. Stefan admitted to being a vampire to me. I ran away because what logical person wouldn't? Stefan being Stefan, stubborn and wanting to make things right, followed me and reassured me he wouldn't hurt me. He didn't drink animal blood and Damon was the one responsible for all the deaths in the town and Vicki's wounds at the party. Well, diary, there was not much reassurance there. I told him to leave and he did. Much like my dream self, I am trembling as I write this. Fear, shock, I don't know how to describe it...
He told me about the vampires the next day and yes, they can be killed. Stakes, sunlight, beheading, fire, heart extraction. I gave him hell about Care, but he said stopping Damon from doing something usually made it worse. I didn't like that answer.
Anyway, he took me into the woods and told me his history. About Damon, Katherine, and him. Katherine was a vampire. She made Stefan and Damon. She played with them. It was sick, but again, it sounds like my sister. Which I have not seen yet or heard of outside of Stefan and Damon and it seems she lived a long time ago. Centuries. So, how did I know her in the dreams? Being a vampire she could live forever, but that means...we look alike there too? I don't know. Everything is confusing. Frustrating. I wanted the truth, but part of me wishes I didn't know. And do these things, like items, carry over into this life? Does that mean the people around me, people I've known for years, are actual vampires? No, that's impossible, but maybe nothing is impossible. Not anymore.
...Vicki's going through transition. He wasn't able to save her. She fed on Logan. She's a vampire. Oh God...I'm actually crying. Losing my parents, my brother spiraling, my aunt struggling as our guardian and vampires? I promised Stefan I would keep his secret, but that I couldn't be with him. It's just...too much. I can't...I broke up with him and I woke up in my bed crying. It hurt so bad diary because I was starting to feel like I could be happy again...
Rough night. I'm going to need some coffee to make it through homework and job hunting.