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[Blocked from Thor]

I had one of those not-dreams last night. There was a time when I actually wished they would happen. I felt left out. And then... I don't know what changed. I began to dread them. Maybe because so many of them sounded so unpleasant, and the pessimist in me expected that unpleasantness would inevitably find me, as well. I hate that I was right, and even still, it was more upsetting than I could possibly imagine.

Why am I writing about it here? Because it's what everyone else does? Because I need a cathartic experience? It's like a wet, icy blanket that I cannot shake off.

( cut for potential trigger: child endangerment )

It looks as though my next two performances will be as part of group concerts.

Leading Ladies of Orange County the last weekend of February at [venue], and then OC Miscast the second weekend of March at [venue].

Over all a pretty good weekend. Even if I am getting 'Dreams' every night still, I think I'm kind of getting used to it? At least less physical pain involved. Small miracles.

Okay, I think I had one of those weird dreams all the kids keep bitching about. Though mine wasn't so horrible.

I've had strong suspicions for a while now, in my Dreams, that the Chinese prince Yongxing had been making attempts on my life in an effort to wrest Temeraire from my side. I was near certain once a we were warned of an impending attack and a virtual army attacked my men and I in the dead of night, and we were forced to defend our position until morning, but our diplomat, Arthur Hammond, insisted we say nothing until we had solid proof. I'm afraid the proof came last night.

He hired an assassin, who hid among the actors of a Chinese performance that we were all invited to watch. One of them, I'm sorry to say, managed to catch me under the collar bone with a knife. In the scrimmage that followed, the stage came down and Prince Yongxing was killed.

I'm not entirely sure how I'm to explain this particular wound to my superiors. If this keeps up, I'll soon run out of excuses.