Athelstan Wilder (whereareyoulord) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-04-27 18:08:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, brother athelstan, meetra surik |
Who: Brother Athelstan & Meetra Surik
What: Being surprised!
When: Thursday evening
Where: A park in the southern OC
Rating: PG, talk of war & genocide
Status: Complete!
Meetra was taking another walk in the park, where she’d met Isabela. It seemed like good luck, and she needed the exercise. It was much later, though, and there didn’t seem to be anyone around, so she started to jog towards a darker area.
It was getting late, but Athelstan was still out. He’d needed to go out, needed to work out his worry and frustration. Being out in nature relaxed him, and he could use the relaxation right now. He’d been keyed up ever since hearing from Eli. He’d given thanks that she was all right, but at the same time, the idea that someone had tried to burn their house down was frightening. Eli had said it was an enemy of her father’s, but what if it wasn’t? What if it was some misguided soul trying to eradicate Eli?
He wasn’t watching where he was going, but he couldn’t imagine anyone would be out at this hour, frankly. He needed to get his thoughts in order.
Meditation hadn’t been helping, so Meetra had stopped near where boulders had been arranged by landscapers. She looked around, and started to lift them, and rearrange them. The boulders floated up off the ground, and spun.
Athelstan had just been following the path, and when he saw a big rock at the edge of a building site, he figured he’d go sit down on it and think. But then, it moved. Up in the air.
His eyes went wide. Almost autonomously he followed its path, seeing where it might go, until he came face to face with a tallish woman who seemed to be concentrating hard. “Oh!”
The rocks dropped, and Meetra looked startled. She cursed. “Sorry! Careful!” She didn’t want to crush the boy, on top of being exposed for what she was doing. She was glad she hadn’t taken out her lightsaber - that would be harder to explain.
Even faced with a sight like this, his first instinct was to apologize. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, I was just walking, and I - ” He cut himself off, feeling stupid. “Really, I am sorry.”
“...you really don’t need to apologize!” Meetra held out a hand, like she was trying to soothe a started critter. She even sent out the force, a calm, soothing feeling filling the air. “This probably looks very strange.”
“Yes,” Athelstan admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, “but I have seen odder. Believe it or not.” After his talk with Eli, he was a lot more open to the possibility of ... gifted folk, as he put it.
“Well, that’s better than it could be.” Meetra smiled. “I’m sorry I startled you. I was just training, and trying to relax.” It was an odd way to relax.
“It’s all right. What manner of training is this, if it’s not rude to ask?” Athelstan was curious, especially after his own dreams.
“Training in the Force. It’s my weakest aspect. I’m much more talented with fencing.” She smiled slyly. “Or at least, training in the aspects of the Force that I’m the most rusty in. I’m what you could call a ..battle monk.”
“The Force?” Athelstan echoed. “I confess I’m not familiar with any orders that would ... battle.” Or accept women, but that was mostly a point of nomenclature. Talk about irrelevant at the moment!
“It’s something that fills the world, inside us and outside us. Those of us specially attuned can interact with it. Sense emotion and feelings, and manipulate the universe around us.” She waved her hand, and Athelstan’s hair ruffled.
He was fascinated, rather than scared. “Amazing,” he murmured, smiling. “Is it like a form of meditation?”
“Meditation is certainly a part of it,” she said, her smile widening. “We seek to find balance between emotion and peace. There are some who would do away with emotion entirely, banish passion, but I don’t agree.”
“That’s entirely inhuman.” Athelstan shrugged. “Even the holiest have passion for God. I find myself wholeheartedly in your camp.” He managed a shy smile.
“I’m glad,” Meetra said. She liked the boy already. “The fear was that strong emotion would lead us down the path to ruin. And it’s a valid fear, far too many fell into darkness. But I think if we emphasized that emotion wasn’t to be feared, but controlled...it might not have been so bad.”
Athelstan frowned. “I thought I’d had a difficult time of it, going to boarding school.” The idea of being told that any kind of emotion was bad - no wonder some had gone astray. “It wasn’t right that they told you that,” he said before he could stop himself. “Not at all.”
“There was thousands of years of history and tradition to back them up.” She smiled, a little tightly. “Perhaps there was a reason they went almost extinct, twice.”
“Thousands?” Athelstan raised an eyebrow. “How is that ... ” He trailed off. “I would say how is that possible, and yet I’ve already seen things which defy all logic here.” It was mind-expanding, to say the least.
“My order has existed since before the formation of the civilization in my dreams. Thousands of years is a very low ballpark.” She grinned at him. “Tens of thousands is more accurate.”
Athelstan stared. “It must be ... this sounds mad, but it must have been another planet?” Sheer insanity. He smiled, looking down. “I merely dream of being a monk in Saxon England. Unexciting, but beautiful.”
“Many planets! I must have visited dozens in my life. A hundred. For a time, I was the last of my order. We had to rebuild from the ground up.”
“Fascinating.” Athelstan meant it, even. “I cannot even imagine that responsibility.” Part of him still wanted to cleave to the teachings he’d grown up with, and yet, Eli had opened his mind solely by existing. “How did you endure it?”
“I’d lost my connection to the force. It was as much a journey to restore myself,” Meetra said, her expression solemn. “As a journey to restore the order. But thanks to some good friends and baring my soul, we made it through.”
“Sometimes such a journey is necessary; I’ve been on one myself. Though it didn’t span decades or other planets.” Athelstan smiled a little. “Personal awakening always comes with a price, though obviously your path led through a few more people’s.”
“Some prices are too high.” She thought of Revan’s weapon, and the high cost to use it. But using it had saved the Jedi - she’d survived, and cut off from the force hadn’t been a target of those who had destroyed the order.
“Of course.” Athelstan chose his words carefully. “But I do personally believe that everyone receives their just reward.” Something about this woman made him want to talk to her. “I was raised in a very religious home, and then I fell in love with a boy. Even though we broke up, I still am on the journey that began for me. And I’m sure I’ll get whatever is my just reward.”
She smiled softly. “Love is something to cherish. My order, while they didn’t speak against it, they frowned upon it. They wanted us emotionless. I’m not sure it’s exactly, the same, but it doesn’t really matter to me. Having experienced it, and acted on it, I’m not afraid of myself or what might happen. I know it’s a wonderful thing.”
“I’m sure my opinion doesn’t matter in the long run, but I think that’s a good thing.” Athelstan shrugged. “If you know yourself, you are inherently better equipped to handle the proverbial bumps in the road.”
“You’d make a good Jedi.” Meetra laughed. “You have the right attitude, I would have trained you in my other life.” She reached out with the Force, wondering if he had any talent in it, whatsoever.
“Oh?” He couldn’t help but be curious. “I don’t think I have any aptitude for physical encounters here.” He blushed, even though he meant fighting. She was pretty, after all.
“The strongest often come in small, unexpected packages,” Meetra assured him. “But some are better suited to man the library.” She winked. “Knowledge is the most powerful weapon.”
“On that we can agree.” Athelstan chuckled. “I’ve always left the physical to others, both male and female. I just tend to respond with my brain. Christ never raised a hand to others, after all - your religion is obviously not mine,” he hastened to add, “but it’s always governed how I live my life.”
“Pacifism isn’t something to be decried, but there have been plenty of times where I could not stand by and do nothing. One of those acts got me exiled for a time, but I wouldn’t change what I did..at least not entirely.” She still felt like she could have prevented Revan’s fall, somehow, even if logically she knew that was impossible. The man who’d turned him was too powerful - she knew that intimately.
“It must be a good thing to be at peace with your actions.” Athelstan smiled. “If I might say so, respectfully, you have an advantage over a lot of people.” Not least of all him.
“I’m only at peace because I got to dream about the outcome. It wasn’t all good, and there was a lot of wrestling with my own down, and brushes with darkness.” Meetra had nearly fallen a few times. Temptation was always strong, she just didn’t think it was emotion that had led her towards that path.
Athelstan nodded. “People tell me about these dreams. I’m not sure what to make of them, frankly. I don’t believe they’re telling me lies, and yet it’s just ... I don’t know.” He smiled a little. “If I hadn’t seen some things with my own eyes, I’d wonder about lunacy.” In them or himself.
“They feel so real, like memories,” Meetra said, walking over to a boulder to sit on it. “I can’t tell the difference, and frankly I haven’t bothered trying. Not when powers and even physical objects have shown up.”
He was curious in spite of himself, both for himself and for Eli. “If they feel like memories, how do you anchor yourself in the here and now? I’m not certain at all that I would be able to hold that kind of dual reality in my head.” Athelstan sat on the ground near her; he didn’t care about the height difference.
“I had friends. The funny thing is, I tend to go through long periods of being a loner. But I was coming out of my shell when the dreams started to come, and that helped.” Meetra nodded her head. “The other key thing is to anchor yourself by doing things that have nothing to do with those memories.”
That did make sense to Athelstan. “I worry more for someone I know than for myself. I have my studies and my faith, but she ... ” He chose his words carefully, not sure what Eli would want him to say. “Someone I know has been going through some problems, and I think it’s partly due to these dreams and what they can do. I worry.”
“Its good to worry. It means she has someone to rely on, someone to ground her.” Meetra gave him a smile. “That may be all she needs, or she may need even more. There’s no way to really tell.”
“I find it difficult to stay on the side of worrying and not try to tell her what to do. I think she might hit me.” Athelstan might have blushed, but he smiled. “I’ll do my best, Sister.” He knew she wasn’t really a nun; it was more a gentle joke. He did almost feel as though he’d gone to confession.
“I’m more accustomed to other signs of respect, but Sister... I kind of like it.” She winked at him. She hadn’t planned for her evening to go this way, but she didn’t mind at all.
“Well, you are a member of an order, after all.” Athelstan smiled.
“Sister Meetra Surik almost sounds better than Master Meetra Surik.” She grinned.
“Master is your title?” Athelstan was interested. “That’s rather nice, that the title is the same for men and women.” Though he had to admit that he was a trifle embarrassed, addressing anyone by that title!
“Master, Knight, and Padawan. There’s also a Grand Master who heads everyone.” She chuckled. “I was a Padawan until I went to war, was promoted to Knight during that, and was exiled for helping save the Republic. The Order wanted to stay out of the conflict. I became a master because I rebuilt the Jedi, after I returned from exile.”
She paused, then felt it necessary to add. “I was the only one who returned to face the consequences of my actions. The rest of my peers who followed Revan to fight the invaders all turned to the dark side.”
He still didn’t entirely understand, but the “dark side” did sound bad enough. “At the very least, you did own up to your actions. That has to count.” Hopefully it did, in her dreams. It sounded a cold place.
“I was stubborn about it. I called them out on their cowardice and inaction.” She put her hand to her chest. “We’re dedicated to keeping the peace and defending the helpless. What good is that if you let an invading army run rampant across dozens of worlds?”
“It does seem a bit silly.” Athelstan shrugged. “It’s like the genocide actions - or lack thereof - in Africa in the 1990s. The United Nations, which has the job of keeping world peace, refused to enter a region where there was conflict brewing.” He crossed himself. “A million people died in three months.”
She nodded her head. She didn’t want to compare, but the scale of death was probably similar. “With power, there is always the responsibility to use it wisely. Sometimes you shouldn’t use it at all, but those times are rare - when lives are on the line, action is always best.”
“I could not agree with you more.” Athelstan smiled, looking up at her for a minute. He could see the moon starting to rise over her shoulder, though, and he shook his head. “I should likely let you go, though.” She’d been in the middle of something, and he’d interrupted.
Meetra hopped off the rock. “If you ever want to talk, you can look me up. Okay?”
Athelstan rose, dusting himself off with one hand and presenting the other for a handshake. “I’ll be happy to do that, Master Meetra.” Something embarrassing occurred to him. “Erm. My name is Athelstan. By the way.” Stupid.
“Cute name.” She shook his hand. “I think your friend will be in good hands.”
“I certainly hope that’s true.” He was still blushing a bit. “Ought to have given that earlier, I’m sure.” But he did manage a smile. “Have a pleasant rest of your evening, Master Meetra.”