"You might’ve heard of me." Who: Lara Croft, the Fourth Doctor, Princess Luna and Scoot What: Adventure! Licking things you’re not meant to! Danger! When: 20th March. Yes, we're that slow lately. Where: Somewhere out in the desert. They found a thing! Rating: PG13, at least, for swearing and danger. Status: Complete. :v
What had convinced Lara into this? She was fine with taking people like Scoot along, honestly, but... people as special as that man and his friend? She wasn’t so sure. It didn’t exactly fill her with confidence that the woman’d been so disappointed when she’d told her not to lick things.
Shouldering her satchel, and half-wishing she’d brought her bow, she looked over the area in front of her. She could measure the height of the dunes, assume what laid beneath them, even guess what sort of artefacts they might find... but that was for another time. “Ready for this? There’s no turning back once we’re in.”
Luna hopped in place, she’d opted for a pair of khaki pants, her old pair of combat boots from her and Celestia’s grandfather that fought in a war, which she couldn’t remember. And just a regular old t-shirt! And short hair cut meant she didn’t have to pull it back. “Birthday adventure! BIRTHDAY ADVENTUUUUUURE!” She cheered out and Scoot who was walking past her arched an eyebrow.
The boy was wearing jeans, his binder under a thick t-shirt and just an over jacket that would keep him from getting sunburned. He wore a cowboy hat only because it covered more and boots. He also brought... rope! And some snacks for them. He knew the kind of things Lara got into in her tales of her adventure so he came prepared as he deemed they’d need. He hurried up to be closer to her and sighed. “Why bring her along? She’s going to just be trouble, you know that. I know that!”
“Because... she asked nicely?” Lara shrugged. Really, she didn’t have a good reason... “We’ll be fine. I think I have enough experience to prevent them from falling into too many holes...”
Although, the bouncy madman might cause a few problems... especially since he was already a bit too close to one of the suspicious-looking parts of the sands. “Already enjoying yourself, my dear girl? I know I am!”
“YES! Even if the sun is too hot. I like the moon, not the sun. But it’s my preference.” She watched as the two upfront began digging into sand and looking at boring things so she looked around. They were in a part of the desert that people rarely went to because they went missing or... something. All she knew was there was a cool looking crack in a large rock a few feet away. She hopped over and sucked in her breathe to see if she could get into it Inside were a bunch of weird markings and she nearly slipped on “AAAAAAAAAAAAH SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES EW!” She flailed around and pushed her hand onto a part on the wall as the creature slipped out the hole and she heard a shift and the grinding of rocks.
“Just because she asked nicely? Really?” Scoot rolled his eyes and bent down when Lara did, mostly because he liked learning. Next thing he knew there was shifting and the sand moving at a rapid rate. “Laraaaa?” Looked around and his feet let out underneath him and he began to fall to the center. More than likely Four was doing just the same.
Oh crap. This was off to a fantastic start! The Doctor was more fascinated than panicked by it all, and may well’ve been taking notes. Somehow. Did that man ever make sense? Lara was starting to doubt.
When the dust had cleared from the sand and he was able to barely see from the crack the hole they fell from let in her looked at what was under them. “Oh gross...” He looked to see Four was okay and... note taking. And to Lara. He picked up a femur and held it to her. “I’ve got a bone and it’s happy to see you.” He knew full well his girlfriend would hit him for that, but oh well. She wasn’t here!
Luna stepped down rickety stairs until she could look over the edge and see them several feet below. “....SOOORRRRYYYY!”
It was a good thing his girlfriend wasn’t here, then! Lara sighed and pushed herself up, dusting off the sand that’d pretty liberally been dumped on her. “It’s fine! Nothing broken...”
Well. Not yet. That bone joke had been completely and utterly terrible, though... “...That’s the worst joke ever. Hope you know.”
“Oh I know!” He laughed and tossed it aside, standing up himself. Honestly, the blue haired woman was more trouble than she seemed worth. He ran a hand through his hair, noticing his hat was gone. “Oh come on...” He looked up to see it on a ledge that could be sturdy enough to toss rope over to to climb out of it. And they’d have to think fast because from the edge of the pit they were in crawled different species of lizards that looked rather hungry.
Luna bit her lip and pouted. She didn’t mean it, honest! She didn’t want her new friends to get hurt so she took a few steps further and the wood gave way under her and she quickly stepped back with a scream.
“Stay up there!” Lara had thankfully managed to retain her satchel, so it was simply a matter of opening it up and pulling out the sturdiest rope she’d managed to find. Apparently, there was a good supply of things like this in the OC - she had to wonder why, really... “Scoot, all yours.”
Meanwhile, the Doctor was still... bouncing. And rather interested in the various species of lizards. He’d not seen some of these ones before! “I wonder why these are down here. Quite strange, don’t you think?”
Scoot nodded and squatted down to quickly tie a study not before swinging it and tossing it up to try and catch the hook. He missed twice, but the third time he managed well enough to just jerked the rope up then down to get it enough on. He pulled down hard to secure it and handed it to Lara. He knew this might get him hit. “Ladies first~”
The blue haired woman just nodded and stayed there, folding her arms and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout.
Like Lara wouldn’t take that opportunity. She whacked him in the arm, not too hard, before pulling herself up the rope. It was a good thing she was so used to this... “Just for that, you’re coming up last. Help the Doctor.”
That was what the man was calling himself, at least, so that’s what she’d call him. Simple logic.
Scoot frowned and mumbled something under his breath before trying to shove the man up the latter. “Up you go!” Once he got him up the ledge began to break and before he could think twice he ran to the outer walls of the pit and pulling at the rope still managed to get himself up and over with only one of the lizards having... ow. Okay. Having bitten on the back of his calf. There was a little blood but nothing he was worried about.
Definitely something that Lara was worried about, though. “Let me take a look at that. I don’t know what these lizards are, so...”
Poison was a very real risk. One that really, really needed to be avoided.
Scoot sat down on a pedestal and showed her the back of his calf. It hurt dammit, not that he’d admit it. But thankfully, no poison, it would just need a quick bandage over it. “What the hell is this place?”
Luna knew the answer to the root of the markings in the wall though. “The text looks like a rough form of the language of the Miwok tribe. They lived around this area!” Bounced and suddenly fell off the wood and into a pile of sand. “Oof.”
Well, at least it would’ve been a soft landing... Lara was more focused on the wound than that, for now. “I think you got lucky. It’ll sting, but it’s nothing you can’t heal from...” Pulling her first aid kit from her bag, she made short work of bandaging it up, not wanting to leave it exposed to the elements for too long.
That tribe, though... so, she’d been right in assuming this was the right sort of place? Fantastic. “Does this mean this... might be some kind of abandoned temple? What I can see seems to support that...”
“Doesn’t seem it though... the text isn’t in the right order. At least not here. My students had a big test on it that I let them work on when they’d finished rehearsal...” Luna stood up and looked at the wall and dragging her finger down the side of the wall and went as if to bring it to her mouth.
“Thanks..” He stood and bent his knee slightly before looking to see Luna go for it.
“Don’t lick that.” Really, what was it with some people and licking things?! Alex had done it on their last expedition, and he’d spent the next six weeks out of commission because of it. “It’s an attempt to replicate, then. Some kind of... misunderstood and backwards version?”
“Red.” Luna pouted, beginning to get flustered at this point. She didn’t have to be so demanding and this was a little scary. Not in the way where she’d run, just the concept of not knowing if they could get out of here.
Scoot arched his eyebrow and looked to Lara. “What the hell?”
Time for the Doctor to come to the rescue! Honestly, it was a good thing he’d already become so used to Luna and her somewhat interesting quirks. “What’s red, my dear girl? Some marking on these walls?”
Well, he could assume that. Lara was more than a little... confused. “Just let him deal with this. He obviously knows what he’s doing.”
“Red. Icky red.” Pointed to the wall several times, and continued even as she looked around.
“Guess so. Is she stupid?” Scoot asked, trying to not be judgemental but he’s hurt! And annoyed at her.
And the face Luna made could break hearts.
Lara shot him a Look, with a capital L, just to try and get a certain message across. That message being ‘dear God, shut up or I will have to punch you. In the face.’
“Some sort of residue?” This was very, very interesting! “I wonder...”
“RED!” That red being blood mixed with a very flammable powder along the walls. Around. As if they were trying to blow something up. “And more red!” She pointed to the statue of a wolf beside a statue of a man. Both with symbols for fire on their chest.
Scoot stuck his tongue out at Lara, rolling his eyes at the look. He didn’t mean to be rude. He was cranky. It was allowed.
He could be cranky when they weren’t on an adventure! Lara climbed up next to Luna, just to take a better look at everything. “Whoever was here last didn’t want this place found. Looks like someone -- or something -- stopped them before they could...”
And messily. Either that, or it was some kind of ritual sacrifice...
And she’s gone quiet now. No one better touch her. Or else that would end badly. She just went back up behind the Doctor to hide. Mostly so she could calm down.
Scoot hopped over to them, guessing it was some mental disability. “Sorry, Luna...” He was really. He needed to be less judgemental of others, considering how he was. “So... We going to figure out what? Maybe they have treasure!”
The Doctor was, of course, completely fine with her hiding behind him. He’d help if she needed anything, as he was quite the lovely sort of man. If a bit unusual sometimes.
“If we can find something that narrows it down... this could be a temple created by converts, which would explain the backwards architecture.” Lara had never really seen statues like this before. Some kind of animal symbolism? Shapeshifting? She couldn’t tell for sure. “A fire ritual, perhaps?”
Luna meeped and took hold of the Doctor’s shirt, hiding in it. “There was a group of people that believe they could turn into animals by poisoning themselves and burning themselves next to the body of a dead beast. Like if a guy wanted to be a wolf... He’d take a poison and set fire to themselves while the wolf was stabbed in the heart. But they thought it had to be a certain poison and time of the year and night or else it wouldn’t work... A lot of animals died and.. I think they were getting found out. that’s all I know, and it’s thought to have been a local myth. I did a paper on it in highschool.”
Scoot listened as she spoke. Very smart despite her... peculiar nature and actions. He blinked when he saw a knife thrown in front of his face and into the wall beside him. A brute came up towards them. Mostly to kill in case someone were to find this place. They were still searching for that right mixture dammit.
Well, that wasn’t terrifying or anything. At least the idiot hadn’t been able to hit anything. Lara moved quickly, pulling the knife out of the wall, more than prepared to launch it right back at the bastard. “You have five seconds to explain, or this is going to hurt you a lot more than it’ll hurt me.”
“Put it down bitch. You’re not leaving here alive.” The brute said as another came behind and dragged Luna off into a back door and slammed and locked it shut. She seemed to know more and they could use her for the parrot transfer.
Scoot looked to Lara, mostly because he has no fucking idea what to do!
Well, this was going fantastically. Thankfully, Lara had some experience with... people of this ilk. She didn’t drop the knife, dropping into a more easily defensible stance - she could do this. She could save her without breaking a sweat. “You either let her go, or you leave here with a hole where certain vital... parts used to be.”
“I really don’t think so.” The man lunged for the seemingly weakest of them, which meant the Doctor. Trying to make for stabbing him in the side, then he’d move on for Scoot. Leave Lara for last.
Scoot was so not used to this.
Lara, thankfully, was used to this. The Doctor had the presence of mind to jump backwards when she surged forwards, grabbing the man’s wrist. If her grip had been much tighter, it was incredibly likely that bones would’ve started... protesting. “I really hate people like you.”
“There’s nothing you can do. They’re going to convert her.” He laughed and tried to pull away. “And if it fails, she will die. But all for the cause of higher life. Higher than being a goddamn human.” He chuckled and licked his lips.
Scoot arched an eyebrow. “Kill him already!”
“No killing, thank you kindly.” Why yes, that was the Doctor’s only input, and for once? Lara agreed. There was no sense in doing that. She shoved the idiot to the ground, after wresting his knife from his grip.
“You might’ve heard of me. Lara Croft, famous adventurer, never leaves anyone behind.” Not even if it meant going through hell or high water to save them. “You’re not stopping us. At all.”
“Can we at least tie him up?” Held out his own rope, pouting a little bit. He could pout and still act manly, goddammit.
Well, it was fairly manly, yes. Lara rolled her eyes. “Fine, we can tie him up...”
“YAY!” He shoved both hands in the air in excitement before roughly tying the guy to a stalagmite that had been forming by the edge and did a damn good job of it too. Could be useful in less pressing matters to be entirely honest. “We need to get her before they do something stupid. Her sister will kill us if we don’t.”
That he was so excited about tying someone up raised a few... interesting questions. Questions that Lara was never, ever going to ask. Especially since he seemed so adept at it. “You any good at picking locks? It’s either that or we attempt to bash the door down...”
“Uh. Not really... If my girlfriend was here... Or her brother. They’re good at that kind of thing.” Scoot responded, shrugging.
Ah, this was a situation where the Doctor knew he could be useful! He fiddled around in his pockets a little, before coming out with a rather shiny looking kit of... stuff. Descriptive, he knew, but it was a very multi-talented kit! “I do believe I can handle this.”
“...If anything explodes, I’m blaming you.” It was fair, right?
There was no explosion as the door was picked rather easily, but the moment they opened the door a body fell from the ceiling with a knife embedded in its skull and Scoot look rather... scared. He has no idea if he can do this. He’s never had to deal with something like this. How did Lara do it?
Well, that was pleasant. Lara was quickly up to check, not touching any of it for fear of setting off something worse. “At least he won’t be causing us any problems. Probably been dead for a good while.”
She’d honestly seen worse over the years. That pit of skeletons that Roth and Alex had accidentally dropped her in was certainly up there... especially since some of them weren’t entirely skeletonised yet.
Scoot didn’t want to seem like a big... chicken but he stepped back. “You guys go on ahead... I’ll stay here and see if anyone comes to find us...” He was terrified and didn’t want to admit it. Hell, could you really blame him?
It wasn’t like Lara would’ve minded if he’d just admitted he was scared. Even she had her moments. “Alright. Stay safe.”
Well, he would have stayed had the sand not started to rapidly pour in and they all had to run to go through into the cavern, the sand pushing in and Scoot made for shutting the door, holding it there and tried to look around for something to lock it in place again and keep it from bursting open again. “Hey, old man! The slab of wood behind you.”
The Doctor may well have made a face on being called ‘old’. He most definitely wasn’t, he’d have you know. Relatively young, by all accounts... thankfully, he could internal monologue and grab the slab of wood at the same time, quickly getting it over to Scoot.
“This is one of the most unstable sites I’ve seen for a while...” That there were people making use of it was honestly a surprise to Lara. How did they even manage?
Scoot got everything set up before looking at Lara. “So, big hotshot adventurer. What do we do now?” He really had no idea what to do to be entirely honest.
Lara shrugged. It wasn’t often that she actually got stuck with idiots like this... she hesitated to call them cultists. Cultists tended to be a little brighter. “They’ll have another way out. First, we find our friend, then we make them let us out.”
“Alright.” Scoot looked around the area until he heard a muffled voice of ‘SHE BIT ME! QUICK, TRY AND KNOCK HER OUT!’ and he pointed down the long tunnel. “This way!” He took off then stopped. “Maybe... you should lead the way.”
Okay, that? That was vaguely hilarious. Lara took off down the tunnel, the Doctor following close behind her - apparently, he was one of those people without a care for his own safety, which wasn’t exactly a bad thing.
The three would come up to a room covered wall to wall with pelts of all sorts of animals on one side, and the skin of people decorated with symbols and the very badly written language they were attempting to ‘steal’. In the center there was moonlight shining down on top of a table where Luna was laying and tied down. Above her was a pedestal with a pot and a mixture of... stuff? Below her was a parrot in a cage, looking rather freaked out about where it was.
Three men were talking in the corner, one man in Miwok tribe garb and holding a staff with a human skull and animal skulls dangling it from them. He spoke. “Today! We find if we have done things right! If we have uncovered the magic of the Miwok people and their ability to change into animals at death.” Totally misinterpreting one small tale in the history of the tribe. A children’s fairytale.
“Uh... what?” Scoot looked to Lara, having spoken quietly as he could so as to not alert anyone of their standings in the room.
Jesus, these people were morons. Keeping her voice low, Lara made to explain. “They’ve gotten the wrong end of the stick. From what I know of these people, it’s just... a children’s story, makebelieve. Nothing that they were actually capable of.”
To put a modern slant on it, it’d be like someone believing that wolves could conceivably, and convincingly, dress up as a little girl’s grandmother. “We need to stop them. But we need to be subtle. I don’t want to cause her any undue harm...”
“Last thing that needs to happen...” He looked around, trying to figure out what to do. “Or her sister will kill me.” Above Luna was the hole, and there was a grappling hook across the room. So maybe... “If we can distract them, untie her, and get that grappling hook to the surface we might be able to exit with her unharmed and leave them down there and take a run for it, or kick the hole in and fill it with sand.”
Kicking the hole in would be one thing that Lara would be rather against. Even if this wasn’t an actual temple, it might have some relics inside of note... “Who’s going to distract them, though? Might be asking for disaster.”
Scoot thought for a little bit before actually jumping down. “Hey fuckers, look at me!” And ah, shit they have guns. All the same he can dodge most of them. And at one point he grabbed a weird book that the head guy seemed to be reading from and a large piece of steel and used it to cover him.
“Men, after him!” The guy screamed and the men blindly followed after Scoot down a hallway leaving just Lara, the Doctor, the man, and Luna.
Well, that was a bit of a dumb move. Lara rolled her eyes and climbed up to that man’s level, shaking her head. “You’ve just made the biggest mistake of your life... let her go, call your goons off, and I think we’ll let you go just fine.”
“You know not what you are messing with.” He began chanting, and Lara should know that instead of some kind of ritual speech, he was instead pronouncing it all wrong and saying it as ‘I eat a chicken with a bowl and my hair’ and many other ridiculous phrases. If she knew the language, of course.
Naturally, Lara knew that language. Amongst a ridiculous amount of others. She couldn’t help but laugh at what he was saying, even with the situation being so serious. “God, if you could hear half the things you’re saying... it’s like you’re singing the Macarena. Makes about as much sense, anyway.”
“I am not! This is a ritual to bring us glory a animals instead of the poisoned bodies of man!” He screeched out and went to grab the poison drink to pour down Luna’s throat.
Which was Lara’s cue to duck down and grab a rock from the ground, hoping to God her aiming skills were still somehow intact, and throw it at his hand the moment he grabbed the poison. “Did you miss that I’m Lara Croft? I never let people get away with things like this...”
And even if she’d missed, the Doctor was sneaking his way along behind, as subtly as someone like him could - which, actually, was surprisingly subtly. He’d probably have her freed before he finished swearing at Lara, by this point.
The moment the poison fell the man began to let out a string of swears and went to pull a knife to put it towards Luna. “No one is getting away with that. I don’t care who you are, bitch.”
Watched as the goons continued to chase Scoot around the main area now. “What is your problem. Catch the boy!”
Dear God, were they all idiots down here? ...Actually, that didn’t even need answering. Lara’d encountered some absolute boneheads in her time, but there people... well, this was a whole new level of stupid. A painful level of stupid. “I’d give up now, you know. Because there seems to be a little issue with your plan...”
Or, well, with every plan. It’d take too long to go into every single flaw, and she didn’t really have the time for it.
“Mind if I take that, my dear chap?” The Doctor, grinning like a loon, happily plucked the knife from the man’s hand, clearing not minding in the slightest at the rather... profuse string of swearing that provoked. “I have a friend to free, you see, don’t mind if I don’t return it...”
This man was clearly insane. Maybe in a good way.
It didn’t take long for Luna to be freed, or the idiots to be dealt with. And their last stop after the police got there was to take Luna to the ER just to check her over. Which was easy enough. Scoot and Lara went to go get a much needed coffee then back home, the Doctor stayed with Luna till Celestia got there and it could be assumed that the Doctor got a stern talking to.