Éponine Thénardier is secretly a badass (alittlefall) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-04-16 09:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, eponine thenardier, scootaloo |
"I’m sorry... I... didn’t mean to..."
Who: Éponine Thénardier and Scoot
What: Dreams of dying, and the aftermath.
Where: Their place, then the nearest hospital.
When: Last night, and the following morning
Rating: High, and not for the usual reasons. TW for a dreamed death, talk of death (mostly in the dreams), medical situations and more blood than you can shake a stick at.
Status: Complete.
Éponine had been right to assume the worst when they’d started building the barricade. The National Guard didn’t care for women and children, and with her dressed as a man... she was as much a target as any of the others.
But when it seemed like one of the guardsmen was going to shoot Marius, she couldn’t help herself. She grabbed the barrel of his gun, forcing it towards herself - she barely felt the shot, numbed by the shock, the sound.
She’d never seen so much blood, felt so much wetness against her skin, quickly soaking through the makeshift bindings that disguised her chest. Maybe it was just the rain that was rolling in... when the National Guard dispersed, Marius found her. She gave him Cosette’s letter, and he held her whilst the world faded away... she dared to try and kiss him, for the first and only time, but fell limp in his arms mere moments before she could.
In the waking world... well, things weren’t too dissimilar. Éponine was still asleep, but restless, as she’d been pretty much every night for over a week now. This was more violent than usual, though, the most pathetic little noises occasionally escaping her lips.
Scoot had been trying to sleep despite the thrashing she usually did when she slept. So he’d taken to napping during the day so that even if he didn’t sleep at night from it, he’d still be relatively rested. He half expected the shifting of the blankets and sheets and tried to just turn enough so he could rest a hand on her to get her to calm... and what he felt was a little unnerving. He quickly reached to the bedside lamp and turned it on.
What he saw made his entire face turn three shades of white if not more and his jaw drop in horror. Blood. So much blood. “What the hell... Éponine! Éponine!” He instantly went to trying to get her shirt off despite the searing pain that moving so much was causing on the still healing wounds. What he saw made him all but scream, tears already starting. What the hell was going on.
He took his shirt off, leaving only the binder because he knows how little the sheets would absorb and he pushed it to the wound. “Éponine... Éponine! Wake up!” He looked around the room and debated on calling Haruka. He knew that Gav was actually spending time with Seiya of all people, just some man time even if Seiya was not the greatest of role models.
It was definitely a good thing that Éponine was such a light sleeper. Or maybe it wasn’t in this case, considering just what she woke up to... losing that much blood didn’t really make for much coherency, and the look on his face just made it all the worse...
“I...” Oh, God, that hurt. Speaking was hard, probably not helped at all by whatever that stabbing pain in the middle of her chest was. Surely it couldn’t be... “I’m sorry... I... didn’t mean to...”
“No... Shh... shh...” Mustering all the strength he had he pushed himself to standing and ripped the cleanest part of the sheet and tied it around her chest tight to try and stem what little was possible. “I’ve got you...” Sure it hurt like hell moving so much, but she was more important.
He winced as he lifted her up, biting his tongue so hard he swore he could taste blood. Scoot held her as best he could and just made his way downstairs and outside. Thankfully the hospital was only a three mile run from the house. He could do this. He started off slow, just to tell his brain to shut up... He could feel the blood trickle down his arms and he knew they both must look like a mess.
If he knew how to use his wings he would have tried flying, but the moment he lifted them the pain grew worse in his chest and he had to tuck them back down against him. Can’t do that.
Saying that would probably be an understatement. In the back of Éponine’s mind, she knew he shouldn’t have been doing this, that putting himself through so much strain was probably going to end up hurting himself incredibly badly, but she couldn’t find the words to express that.
She did what she could to hold onto him, her grip occasionally faltering just slightly. Between the tiredness and the somewhat impressive blood loss, it was probably nothing short of a miracle that she could keep her grip for any length of him. “You don’t... have to do this...”
“I do...” Yeah, he’s long since started crying. Scoot pushed his cheek to her head. “Just... hold on okay. I don’t know what happened. Just hold on.” So many times whilst trying to say that his voice cracked and nearly went away before starting to just run. Run as fast as he could. He chose to ignore the blood he felt seeping through the binder and his clothes as it just wouldn’t stop.
It hurt to breathe, hurt to move, but she was more important. He promised to keep her safe, and he didn’t care what this universe threw at them he was going to keep that promise. No matter the pain or injury he received.
When they did get to the ER he all but dropped to his knees in the doorway. Everything turned into an uproar from the nurses and he was so glad there were no children in the room, only another man with his wife waiting to go back. “Help... She woke up like this...” Gritted his teeth.
It was probably a good thing that injuries like this seemed so commonplace in the OC. Éponine was still aware, barely, of how much pain doing this must’ve put him through... “You... damn well better get seen yourself...”
At very least, the pain was starting to numb. She wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not... especially since she hadn’t been able to feel it at all in the dream.
“Not... Until...” Sucked in his breath and tried to force down the glaze over his eyes of the agony he was in. He could feel what he did and it was not going to be pretty. “Not until I know you’re going to be okay...” He watched as she was taken back and... He wasn’t allowed back with her. What?! “No. NO! Let me go to her!” Tried to punch his way through but was held back by a guard who insisted they get him checked and at least changed.
He didn’t even think twice about the object of being outed to anyone in the hospital. He didn’t fucking care. All that was important was across several walls right now. He did go back with and got a change of clothes and they mostly forced him onto the bed so they could check out his wounds.
Even with her awareness coming and going by the moment, Éponine knew they hadn’t let him back. If she’d had any confidence in her strength, she would’ve fought tooth and nail to get him back with her... she needed him. Just in case...
...She wasn’t going to think on that. Not now. Not ever. There were people here who needed her, dammit.
The nurses just focused on cleaning the wound, dealing with getting blood back into her system and eventually getting the wound stitched up after the doctors searched around to see the cause. It was a gunshot wound, but no sign that there had been any bullet. Or anything of the sort. It was just the wound and again, this town was insane so they had to just mark it off as accidental home injury and mark it away.
Scoot had to force them to let him go back when he was actually allowed, them having to numb him and restitch everything. He was going to see her whether they approved of it or not. It was this reason why he wasn’t going to take any painkillers, because at this point he would fall asleep and she needed him right now.
He walked in the room to find her on the bed, hooked up to the usual because of the blood loss and he shifted his way over to sit down beside the bed and gently take her hand and push it against his cheek. “....are you okay?” He figures she won’t be able to answer, but he can’t help his fears forcing themselves out through words.
Really, it’d felt a bit like overkill to bring out everything, but Éponine had been in no state to complain. Especially considering they’d knocked her out when she’d kept trying to somehow fight the nurses... you couldn’t blame her for trying, really, considering the damned thing had seemed in no great hurry to stop bleeding.
Words might’ve been a tiny bit beyond her at that moment, but she wasn’t going to let something like that stop her. Not now. Not whilst he was obviously so distressed. “Been better...”
Scoot gasped up and yet again started to cry holding her hand tight to his cheek. “Don’t do that... again. Please...” Sure he knew full well she didn’t do it on purpose, or had any control over it. That didn’t stop him from feeling a desperate sense of hopelessness. “I don’t know what I’d do without you...” He sobbed and wanted so desperately to hold her but that would not be a good thing for her right now.
Or him for that matter, what with ripping open the wounds and having to get them stitched. This would just set his healing time back so quickly and now they’d have to find someone to take care of them both while they healed.
God, what she would’ve given for him to be allowed to hold her... Éponine knew it wouldn’t be good for either of them, but that didn’t stop her from wanting it. The pain had been almost unreal, and now...
She couldn’t let Gavroche find out about this. She couldn’t. He needed to believe his sister was stronger than this, that she could cope with anything the world threw at her... he didn’t need to know about a hospital visit. Even if there’d be obvious signs. “Definitely not planning on dying... stuck with me.”
Scoot grunted when he put too much pressure on his chest and flinched away, trying to suck it up and just breathe through it. Goddammit. He got most of the pain numbed down before reaching up to stroke down her cheek. “What the hell did you dream?”
Well. There was the question Éponine had been wanting to avoid. “...I died. They were going to kill Marius, I couldn’t let them... forced the gun on myself. Didn’t expect him to shoot me that quickly...”
Surely, the rest would explain itself. It wasn’t like 1830s France was the best place to get shot in the chest... she’d bled out fairly quickly. She was just thankful she hadn’t felt much of it.
All he could do was sigh and continue brushing down her cheek, trying to soothe her. Scoot sighed and looked up when a nurse came in looking cross. “Sorry...”
The nurse shook her head. “You were supposed to wait until the doctor cleared you for walking before you could... And ripping out the IV was not the smartest of things to do.” Folded her arms. “You have to come back with us.”
Éponine wasn’t going to allow that. They weren’t going to take him away from her, not again... “Can’t you... I don’t know, keep him near me? I need to know where he is...”
You couldn’t blame her for that, right? It physically pained her, sometimes, to be separated from him. Especially at times like this, where she was at her most vulnerable, both physically and mentally.
“I suppose we can put him up for the night in the bed beside you. Possibly even move the beds closer.” The nurse shook her head and went to discuss it with the doctor and sure enough they were allowed, and only given the room enough between the beds to just hold hands because of safety issues. He was set up with another IV, but didn’t dare take his eyes off her.
Well, until they set the painkiller drip into his system and he was out cold within minutes, try as he might to stay awake. The doctor shook his head, trying to keep his words quiet from Éponine. “He’s going to scar very badly for this. I tried to minimise the damage but the tearing is going to triple the size of the lines around the pecks. Never in my life have I seen a boy so young, love someone so much they’d risk rupturing an important surgery like that...” He patted Scoot’s foot before doing the same to Éponine “Sleep well...” His voice louder this time.
Try though he might, Éponine could make out the odd word or two. Enough to make her feel incredibly guilty about this... true, she hadn’t meant to do this, hadn’t meant to cause him pain, but it was her fault he’d done it... what could she do to make it up to him? Was there even anything?
She really rather doubted it. “I’ll... try to. I guess.”
---------------------------
Scoot groaned awake to a nurse gently nudging him to wake up. He opened one eye because bright as they helped him sit up. They had to redo the bandage and everything to make sure the stitching stuck. He winced each time the woman touched and the doctor came into the room, shutting the door, but forgot to shut the curtain separating the two beds. “How do they look?” He asked the nurse who was cleaning off the cream over one side.
“Look as good as we can get them, should heal fine as long as he stays resting and not trying to play knight in shining armour again.” She teased and worked on cleaning the other side.
“She’s my princess and I’d do anything to keep her safe, so not making that promise.” Winced and tipped his head down, starting to fall asleep again. Éponine should know how hard it is to keep him awake when you wake him up before he’s slept enough.
Definitely something that Éponine knew all too well, especially since she’d moved in with him. She’d learnt not to even bother trying to wake him up until he’d had enough sleep, mostly because he tended to get more than a little cranky.
By virtue of her being such a light sleeper, the talking did wake her, just in time to hear what he said. He’d seriously do that...? It didn’t do anything to reduce how bad she felt about causing him so much damage, but... it was something. A nice something.
They bandaged him all back up and laid him back down with a menu for their breakfast before turning to Éponine. “Good morning. How’re you feeling?” The doctor asked and leaned over to take a look at the bandaging to see if it needed changed just yet or not.
Scoot would talk to her when she wasn’t getting looked over by a doctor, not his place after all.
Éponine managed a shrug. The stinging of the wound immediately made her regret it, of course, but she did her best to hide it. She’d had enough practice. “Been better. Been worse.”
“You’re going to just fine, the wound itself seemed small enough, just bled a lot. You should get a tiny scar. And we can give you a cream later on to help minimise it even more.” Gently held her shoulder. “You make sure to rest.” Handed her a menu as well and both left to give them some privacy.
Scoot gently opened the curtain between them. “Good morning, beautiful. Sleep any better?”
How was it fair that she could get away with barely any scarring, whilst he was stuck with the worst of it? This wasn’t right. Not in the slightest. Éponine only just managed to push those thoughts away when she heard his voice... even if it brought on another spike of guilt.
“I didn’t dream at all. Guess I should be thankful.” She’d woken up a lot through the night, yes, but that was pretty normal for her. Being in Scoot’s arms tended to keep that away, but... that was obviously an impossibility right now.
“I dreamt.” Looked over to her with a soft smile. “It was nice... It was you and I. We were in a meadow type place... It was sunny and warm. You were in a red sundress and there was a picnic basket and a blanket underneath us.” Let out a little sigh of contentment because it was nice and warm now. “And we were just sitting and enjoying each other’s company and in the distance there were giggles and then a voice calling out ‘daddy we found a frog’... and then the doctor woke me up.”
Éponine couldn’t help but smile at that. That had to be one of the best mental images he’d ever given her... she was still awed by the fact that someone like him would want someone like her to that level. Maybe one day they’d actually be able to have a family like that... you never truly knew in this place.
“Damn that doctor, eh?” Sure, he’d only been doing his job, but now she wanted to know how that particular dream had ended. “Wish I had more dreams like that one.”
“Nah. You don’t want dreams like that.” He stopped to grunt at the pain in his chest.
“...Why not?” Éponine felt like she had to ask that. It seemed more than a little strange.
“When I can eventually make them a reality. Somehow? I want to give you the very best life so that there is nothing you need to dream about. Because reality will be so much better.” Smiled and reached over for her hand.
That may well have made Éponine’s heart melt. How could this man be so damned perfect? She gently took his hand, squeezing lightly. “I don’t know how I even remotely deserve you... but I couldn’t be more thankful that I have you.”