Beth Cassidy wants to dance with the devil. (above_all) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-04-08 22:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alma wade, beth cassidy |
Who: Alma and Beth.
What: Beth wakes up.
When: Sunday afternoon.
Where: Urdnot Ranch.
Rating: PG-13 for Beth's mouth.
Status: Complete!
It was very late, or possibly very early, but Alma was still up, watching Beth lay in that bed, machines beeping around her. Elise was at her breast, feeding, but she scarcely noticed. Almost all of her attention was on Beth.
She hated this place. It reminded her of some of the places she’d been in as a child in her dreams. All shiny walls and machines. But it kept Beth alive, and so she could deal with it, mostly.
In Beth’s dream, she woke up to see Addy’s face. It wasn’t the face that Beth wanted to see, though. So she made herself open her eyes. Stirring, she looked at the face of the woman she loved. Not Addy, never Addy, but Alma. Elise too. “Oh, good, she’s still latching easily,” Beth murmured.
Alma was so startled she fumbled the baby, before scooting closer to the bed. She thought she was cried out, but she clearly wasn’t. “We were all so worried! Oh Beth...!”
Beth blinked. “What?” She’d dreamed she was in a coma, but - “Oh, fuck me, how long was I out?”
“Three days,” She whispered. “Your friends have visited. And mine. Wrex watched you, when he made me leave for a bit. Shepard too.” She took Beth’s hand. “I couldn’t find your mind.”
“Oh, Alma.” Beth bit her lower lip. “I’m so sorry, I don’t - I dreamed of being in a coma, and I don’t know why it really happened.”
“I don’t care, you’re here...” She sniffled. “I saw the.. I saw you fall, and then you couldn’t hear me any more.” She shifted the baby around and pulled Beth’s hand against her lip. This was by far the scariest experience in her waking life she’d ever had.
“God, that scared me too.” Beth took in a deep breath. “I hated it. I’d never kill myself just because someone didn’t care about me. I’d chalk it up to their loss and move on.” Dream her was so weak, it frustrated Beth.
"Part of you would. But you're better than that." Alma was so flooded with relief that she felt like she would fall over. She didn’t know what she'd do without Beth. It scared her to depend on another human being so much.
“Maybe if you went away. But you’re more than a crush, you know?” Beth snuggled closer to Alma, bringing her closer and kissing her forehead. “You’re my soul mate. If I lost you, I’d lose part of myself.”
Alma's jaw quivered. "I'm so glad you are awake. I love you. Do not scare me like this again!"
“I won’t. I don’t think it’ll happen again,” Beth smiled. In the dreams she’d gotten over Addy and left her behind. She could deal with that.
Carefully, Alma crawled into bed, so that she could be closer to Beth, and their baby could be safe between them. “I do not care that I am not 18, we are getting married next week.”
Beth smiled. “Okay.” She snuggled closer, stroking Elise’s head. “I missed her so much.”
“She missed you. I kept wrapping her in one of your shirts. I wanted to make sure she always knew your scent.” And that she could always smell Beth, too. It was an odd thing, scent. They way it triggered emotional responses. She’d researched the subject on her phone, in moments when she needed a distraction.
That made Beth burst into tears, biting her lower lip to keep herself from making noise. She didn’t want to startle Elise. “I’m so sorry. I would’ve woken up if I’d known, I’m so sorry.”
“It is not your fault. It is okay. It is not your fault!” She kissed Beth to reassure her.
“I know, I know, I just ... I hate hurting you two.” Beth kissed Alma, smiling sadly. “Did anything important happen while I was out?”
Alma shook her head. “The Stark Wedding had an incident, but that was about it.” Hulking out was an incident. Lovely.
“Oh, well, we wouldn’t have gone to that anyway, I don’t think, babies and weddings don’t mix.” Beth snuggled closer, grinning when Elise smiled.
“Shepard and Wrex seem unhappy about something.” Alma looked sheepish. “I might have read their minds.”
“I’m sure you didn’t on purpose. What’s going on?” Beth grinned, loving Alma’s sheepish face. She kissed her lover’s neck.
“Someone from their dreams. He had a post.” She showed Beth Harbinger’s post, on her phone. “I think they’re worried. He’s one of those Reapers.”
Beth wrinkled her nose. “I hope Shepard shoots him.”
“Me too. I am actually scared to search for his mind. I think be believes everything he says. That makes him more dangerous.”
“Don’t make contact with him. If he doesn’t know you exist, that’s good.” Beth’s eyes narrowed.
“I do not understand?” She looked at Beth quizzically, lifting her head.
“If that man doesn’t know you exist and Shepard and Wrex get into trouble, you can save them more easily.” Beth was smarter than people gave her credit for.
“And he cannot use me.” Her eyes gleamed as she realized what Beth meant.
Beth nodded. “I’ll kill him myself if he tries.”
“Do not stain yourself....not for me.” She cupped her face.” I love you. You complete me.”
“I love you too. That’s why I don’t care. I’d be protecting my family.” Beth looked at Alma. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, there is not. I just hope you are not put into that position.” She never wanted Beth to pull a trigger in anger or fear. Never.
Beth smiled, running her fingers through Alma’s hair. “Me too. I’m just saying I’m not scared of it. It’s why I’ve been training with Shep.”
“Shepard is wonderful.” Alma closed her eyes, and sighed. She could trust Shepard to take care of her love, if anything ever happened to her. Shepard and Wrex both. But she thought that Wrex would need to be taken care of too.
Beth squeezed Alma’s hand. She wasn’t psychic, but she didn’t need to be to see that Alma was upset. “You’re not going anywhere. Stop that.”
“I love you. I do not want to...be a vegetable. We should make living wills.” She’d been thinking about it ever since Beth had gone into the coma. “I think if more than a few months go by...I would rather be let go.”
“Why would you think that - Alma, you’re not wrong, but why would you think that you’d be a vegetable?” Beth took Elise into her arms, sitting up a little.
“I do not. But if something ever happened. An accident.” She peered at Beth. “Please. I do not want to lay like that, for years.”
“Me either.” Beth curled up closer. “It’s okay. I won’t let it happen.”
“I believe you.” Alma was genuinely scared. But she didn’t know if things would be even worse if she did die while in a coma? Wouldn’t her mind live on?
“How was Elise? She’s been good?” Beth wanted them to talk about cheerier things.
“She was very fussy.” Alma’s smile was indulgent. “She’s starting to develop a distinct personality. I have been reading to her, and playing music...”
“Really? What’s she like best?” Beth kissed her daughter’s cheeks, her nose. “Our tiny genius.”
“She seems very fond of Bach!” Alma sounded insanely pleased by this revelation. “I am hoping she wants to go into music. We will not know until she is older, but I think it would be nice. Even nicer than science. Almost.”
“Of course she is, she has ears. We should play her something math based, like Rachmaninoff.” Beth had slept with a girl in orchestra, what.
“Your mind makes me horny,” Alma said with a straight face.
“Really. Should we get Wrex to babysit for an hour?” Beth replied just as straight faced, cooing at Elise.
She swallowed. “I’d like that, but I thought you might like some time with our daughter together, too.” Parenthood had it’s downsides.
“Of course, we can do that before or after.” Beth smiled, kissing Elise’s toes and watching her squirm.
“After,” Alma decided. They could always have time to make love. But Elise should always come first.
“Of course.” Beth cuddled her daughter and her soon to be wife at the same time, closing her eyes again, but only for a moment.
It was a long enough moment. Alma curled into Beth again, feeling all of her seventeen years and then some.
“I’m sorry, I’m just ... really glad I’m awake.” Beth chuckled.
Alma smiled, and stroked at Beth’s cheek. “So are we.”