InsaneJournal

Who: John Jones and Obi-Wan
Where: a cafe, then a red Planet international office, and in Obi-wan's mind.
What: John helps Obi-Wan break the link that had been binding him to Kitty’s mind.
When: 03/13/13
Warnings/Rating: PG-13 for converse including character death, npc death, canon character death in canon, and angst.
Status complete


John was wandering downtown, trying to buy something, anything, for his fiance. He’d lately been somewhat indecisive about what he wanted to get her. Something nice, and funny, maybe, just as a continuing thing to show her how much he loved her. He had already found a few wedding ring ideas and was running them by her. Their wedding was quickly heading for them at light speed.

Today, though, he was feeling drawn...somewhere. Someone or something was hurting, in a palpable way, a mental way, and after all the recent mental madness, John was unwilling to ignore such a thing.

So he was wandering, looking for something to buy, and letting his mind draw him toward the mind in need...

Not very far away, in a coffee shop, Obi-Wan was sitting alone. He’d put in a good amount of work on Baggins's tunnel project -- also known as Bag End -- and called it a day at around 2 PM. There was nothing so unusual about that, except that the man was the sort who worked from sunrise to sundown and took pride in his stamina. But lately it seemed like he was struggling more and more to keep up.

Sometimes extra coffee did the trick, sometimes a piece of chocolate cake -- Obi-Wan truly loved his sweets. But his fatigue refused to be cured. He felt dull and listless. He had a thirst nothing seemed able to slake. Poor Xi’an had never been his and yet he mourned her alongside Kitty. And poor Faiza, who had been his, was slipping further and further away.

When John stepped in to the cafe, his eyes were drawn to the man sitting there and he sighed. He could felt the waves of hurt and a kind worry and pain coming off of the other man and as he moved to sit opposite him, he nodded. “Hello, sir. I think we need to talk.”

He extended a hand toward the other man. “My name is John Jones. And I can feel your pain.”

Obi-Wan looked at the man incredulously. He was not in the habit of entertaining forward strangers. In fact, he was half-inclined to sternly send the fellow away. The trouble was, he was also half-intrigued. From his own experience, Obi-Wan knew sensing another's emotions was very possible. It would have been prideful of him to assume it was a trait of the Jedi alone.

But this John Jones was not a Jedi. He was sure of that.

“And so you came to offer your sympathy? What of it?” Obi-Wan replied, as stern as he expected.

John raised one eyebrow. “I came to help you, sir stranger. I came to offer you peace. This close, I can feel the tether that connects you to sorrow. With your aid, I can sever it and release you from this suffering you are in.” His voice and look was absolute confidence. His memories showed him how to do it. And he doubted not that he could replicate it now.

The weary Jedi drew back his head, a frown forming on his lips. His eyelids fluttered. The desire to send the man on his way didn’t fade, but the seconds ticked by and Obi-Wan still had not responded. Perhaps he was just that desperate, but the truth was that something John had said stuck in his mind. One word: sever. Obi-Wan had used the word so many times to describe what he need to do to his connection with Kitty that he couldn’t ignore it now.

He motioned to the seat across from him. “And how would you do this?”

"I would accompany you into your mindscape, and help you find the place where the connection is for you. Then I would lend you help and power to end this, before it causes more harm to you or others. " John spoke with gentle warmth and confidence. He knew he could help this man.

He sat down and a moment later, a cafe waitress brought a coffee to him with a smile. "Here you are, Mister Jones. " He paid and the woman turned to Obi "Anything for you? "

The man’s eyes were boring into Obi-Wan’s very soul. “How do you know all this?” he nearly stammered. “How do you know about me?” He shook his head at the barista. He didn’t need anything more from the shop.

John tapped his head. “My dream self was a telepath, and that has been gifted to me as a result. And I can see your... your connection, almost like a line shimmering through the air from you toward another. vibrating with woe and pain. With the experience imparted by my other self, it wasn’t hard to conjecture what might have happened. But I still don’t know for sure.” he smiled warmly. “I don’t peek inside without permission. It’s a personal rule. Also, a headache preventer.”

Obi-Wan didn’t need to hear anything else. John had just won his trust. Of course, it helped that he could sense thoughts and feelings himself. This man was not a liar. The Jedi found himself nodding. “...I’m at the point where I’m willing to try anything. Being unable to break the bond on my own has already cost me too much.” He swallowed hard, thinking of Faiza.

John nodded as he felt some of that emotion. He would aid this man, whatever it took. “ Then let us begin my friend. It is time for you to be free of this weight that burdens you so." He held out his hand to the other man as men would do to grip fists. ” prepare yourself to face your own mind. "

"Right here? In the coffee shop?" Obi-Wan looked around and appeared very uncomfortable.

“We could go elsewhere if it would make you more comfortable. Red Planet International has an office nearby where I work. There are private conference rooms there.” He nodded. John did not want to make Obi more uncomfortable.

Having no real idea what would ultimately be involved, Obi-Wan told John that he would prefer to go to the office. He was a private person. The fewer witnesses, the better. He didn't want to do something potentially embarrassing in front of a crowd.

And John nodded, rising. “Come with me, then. Let us begin.” And he led the way out, and down the street. “It’s not far away.” He felt hopeful, and he hoped he was not going to fail this man.

Obi-Wan finished his coffee and dropped his mug on the counter as he passed. Soon, he was wincing at the sun, following a rather strange man he’d just met to an undisclosed location. He patted his lightsaber, enclosed in a secret pocket, just to remind himself that it was there, should the need arise.

The office building looked like any other. Obi-Wan followed John inside. A short elevator ride and a little more walking, and they were in the aforementioned conference room. Obi-Wan locked the door with one hand and pulled out a chair with the other.

John sat opposite him and nodded. He felt warmth and compassion for this man and prayed he would be able to make this day good for him. He took a breath, then and pressed his anxiety away. Only calm remained as he looked at the other. “Now, relax, calm yourself, and let your mind open. I will reach out to you, and take us inside your mind, where we will find your mindscape, and the answer to freeing you of this weight, good sir.” He nodded again.

Calming himself was not something that came naturally to every Jedi. For Obi-Wan, it had always been something to work at, occasionally a genuine struggle. He was a guarded person and a man who spends time erecting walls is not a man easily set at ease.

He took in a breath and released it slowly, trying his best. He wasn’t afraid of John’s power or the unknown experience before him, but of the simple fact that this total stranger was about to become privy to parts of himself that Obi-Wan protected from even his closest friends.

John slowly relaxed himself and then reached out to the other man, his mental touch a gentle knock to the other man’s mentality. In the mind’s eye, John looked like he did, but with a slight greenish and rougher cast to his skin. It was a merger of his form and that of his dream self, and his eyes glowed warmly. He opened his mind to the other, letting the man see his compassion, professionalism, and warmth, and the wish he had to just help the other.

Obi-Wan remained quiet as the man’s visage changed. He’d witnessed too many strange things at this point, many of them far stranger than this. The sensation in his psyche was like a burst of wind. His mind felt as if it was being inflated, while the space in the room seemed to shrink. Obi-Wan clenched his jaw and ordered himself not to fight it, to allow it to happen.

John let them be drawn into Obi’s mind, to whatever lay there, using his powers only to smooth the flow, and allowed Obi’s mind to set the scene, based on Obi’s fears, and his true self. Where they landed would be like an outer lobby, with doors of some kind leading deeper.

Obi-Wan was a little surprised to see the layout of a room take shape. It was both physical and not physical at the same time. There was a vague familiarity to it as well, bringing on a sensation of deja vu. Then again, these were his memories they were exploring.

The lobby itself was orderly and highly organized. Every line and object was balanced, as if one could slip a mirror down the middle and create the same image. Obi-Wan was reminded of the fastidiousness of his own living spaces. “Well, Qui-Gon always said I had a brain wired for order and logic.”

No doubt, that was why the uncontrollable was always especially irksome to him. And grief especially painful.

John looked around and nodded, approving. “A well ordered mind. Not a bad thing at all. And helpful in this, for it will allow pain and unpleasant things to go only some places. The mind controls such things, even when they are uncontrollable in expression. Here, the mind can make it stay some places, until it becomes too powerful, too destructive. And that is why we are here.” He nodded.

He pointed to the doors. “Calm yourself, and prepare, for next we face the pain within.”

Obi-Wan cocked an eyebrow at the man’s spot-on description on himself. He knew John was on his side, but he still felt exposed and uncomfortable. A Jedi wasn’t supposed to feel this kind of fear. Obi-Wan understood a little more by Yoda was reluctant to approve his training.

He took a breath and nodded, and began to walk to the door, one hand reaching for the knob. He touched and turned it, and the door gently gave way without much effort. The sound of wind filled his ears, reminding Obi-Wan of the sandstorms on Tatooine, and his eyes fell upon a sea of endless sand dunes.

John followed and peered in then nodded.

“Seems we’ll be doing some traveling then.” He concentrated and clothing appropriate to such climates appeared. “We should begin when you are ready, but no sooner. We are walking in your mind and only you will know the way.”

Obi-Wan pulled the hood that had appeared down over his eyes. Coming from the left, he heard a woman’s faint singing and immediately recognized the voice of his mother. The song, however, was happy and he had made peace with that part of his past long ago. They’d wouldn’t find what he was looking for there.

He turned his gaze to the right, narrowing his eyes. There were storm clouds in the distance. It was from this direction that the wind came. “This way, I suppose,” he said with a gesture to follow him up the sand dune. To some extent they were standing in the middle of a valley and every direction required a climb.

Once they were at the top of the dune, Obi-Wan saw there was a winking, glassy mirage in the distance. There appeared to the figures moving around in it. Almost immediately, blue lasers and sparks began to dance between the figures, and the Jedi realized he was looking at his final battle with Anakin. It was enough to stop him in his tracks.

John followed, nodding as he adapted to the environment, his own hood up as he glanced around. If the sand was red it would look like Mars, and a part of him cried out inside, for lost Mars. He concentrated, his power slowly rising as he got it ready for what must be done.

John stopped with Obi and glanced between him and the scene. “This was, or is, an important moment of your past?”

Obi-Wan watched the lightsabers dance. The figures mirrored one another. He began to speak slowly. “...I was once put in the very unfortunate position of having to kill my best friend before he killed thousands of others. Or so I believed.”

John winced and nodded. “Not a favorable position. I understand. For the sake of a planet, I once killed my brother. I have never regretted and yet meant an action more.” Ma'alefa'ak had been insane, but still his twin.

“Anakin was like my brother,” Obi-Wan said, rolling his shoulders. He was speaking about his past very freely now, for some reason. Perhaps it was no more than the immersion of the experience. “I’m sorry you know what it’s like to dutifully kill your kin.”

The Jedi blinked and the mirage began to fade. “The problem isn’t here, but I think we’re on the right path. The person I’m linked to reminds me very much of Anakin.”

“Sometimes, they give you no choice. Ma'alefa'ak killed nearly the entire Martian race.” He nodded, then smiled. “Then perhaps beyond him? Beyond this scene? To a place yet deeper in your mind?”

Obi-Wan had already begun to walk onward, through the space he and Anakin had previously occupied. He prefered to think he had a choice and that he had made the right one, but again he had fallen silent.

That was until something suddenly took shape to his left. It was Kitty, on her motorcycle, on the day they first met. It was only a year ago, but she seemed so much younger. Himself as well. God, had his hair really been so much less gray?

Kitty’s image seemed to wave to them, almost beckoning them to follow. Then, she raced away. Obi-Wan started to jog after her, then he turned back to John. “Is there something you could create to ride after her?”

John followed, moving quickly behind Obi-wan, curious, wary. He was definitely curious now. He wanted to know what this would lead to.

The image of Kitty appearing and vanishing made him grin. “Oh yes. And I think it suits.” And he concentrated and two forms rippled into view, low slung, solid gleaming red metal, floating off the ground, and yet thrumming much as Kitty’s machine had. “These are Martian Skybikes. They were made for terrains like these and others.”

He moved to grip the handlebars of one and it rose to a slightly higher stance. “Just grip the bars and will them forward. they’re controlled by mental power.”

The vehicles easily reminded Obi-Wan of speeders, though he’d never encountered one that moved using mental energy alone. It seemed fitting for Jedi. He even smiled.

Obi-Wan hopped on to his and quickly learned the ropes as he sped off, trusting John would be able to stay close. For the first time, he felt truly engaged in what they were experiencing together. He realized didn’t just trust John to ride alongside him. He simply trusted him. And he was okay with it.

They raced behind Kitty’s memory path and more images began to take shape alongside them. There was the battle on the freighter, when he had first used his lightsaber and the gruesome image of slicing a man in half. There was the boxing match with Loras, when Obi-Wan had been nearly pushed Kitty against the wall and taken her -- though the temptation lasted only a few seconds and faded along with the adrenaline from the fight. It had never returned. After that, their relationship became very much like brother and sister. Most of the memories were very happy. They began to prepare for Kitty’s wedding.

John raced after Obi-wan, hoping this would lead to what the man needed. John could end this, slice the cord, but the truth was, it would not be truly over unless Obi-wan was there and chose the time and place, and the setting. His mind, coming to terms with what must be. And so they raced onward.

The memory stream made him nod. He could see something building in them, and perhaps a start of the true purpose of this...

Suddenly, the image of ahead of them was replaced by a fiery explosion. The wings of a plane shot out from it. Obi-Wan stopped his skybike. It was so real that he had to duck. “This isn’t my memory. It’s Kitty’s. ...This is where the problem begins.” Pictures of Kitty’s wife Xi’an screaming in terror began to dominate the sky. “This is where my mind and Kitty’s were joined.”

John nodded and pulled alongside him, listening, and he concentrated then. “Then that is where we must go. To the moment you are frozen in. Only in the heart of it can you be free once more.” The words came to him from his dreamself’s knowledge and he felt the truth of them.

“You mean, go into the burning plane?” Obi-Wan asked, a bit horrified.

“Yes. We can only be burned if we allow ourselves to. Remember, Obi, this is a memory and here, our minds rule over all we see and touch.” He leaned down and lifted some dust in his hands and blew on it, and it became a dove, which flew away. “Your mind can defeat the memory, and allow you to move in it.”

Obi-Wan heart was pounding, but he forced himself to to step down from the bike. He knew in that same pounded heart that this was the only way to sever the bond, and perhaps the only way to save his relationship with Faiza.

He took a step forward. And the smoke from the plane crash met and engulfed him.

John followed him, and gently lay a hand on the man’s shoulder, and let his mind truly touch the other man’s, lending support. He stepped with him, and smiled. But the smile faded at the scene and he nodded. This was where it would truly happen. The feeling of pain and sorrow was thick in the air.

To Obi-Wan’s astonishment, the seat beside Xi’an was empty. Kitty should have been there, but she was nowhere to be seen. The plane buckled and dove toward the water, and Obi-Wan realized what he had to do. He sat down beside Xi’an. He took her hand. The words began to come to him...

“Memory has a funny way of playing tricks on you,” he said, touching Xi’an’s face. “You think... if I had just done one thing differently, I could have saved the person I loved. You start to imagine things that weren’t possible and pretend they were... and that you failed.”

The terror in Xi’an eyes began to fade, locked on Obi-Wan’s.

“I should have known what was going to happen,” he continued. “Or I should have been able to stop it. But the truth is... this is when you died and I survived.” He thought about Siri, who had actually died in his arms, so many years ago. “And I know you forgive me, Xi’an.”

Xi’an leaned in a kissed Obi-Wan’s forehead. “I do forgive you...”

John watched, and saw the change. The smoke began to clear, and the fire die down, and with that moment, he reached out and gently severed that link. letting it slowly slip away, so that Obi-Wan would not be jarred, but allowed to see it slowly fading. Every man needed to mourn, and every moment deserved memory, but this moment was past, and this man must move forward.

He move to Obi-wan’s side, offering gentle comfort, and nodding.

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure where he was anymore, other than knowing he was on his knees and seemed unable to lift his head. He felt drained of all his energy. He felt tears fall from his eyes, unstoppable. But they were tears of relief.

“It’s over my friend. And now you can begin truly mourning, without that unnatural tie bending you.” That hand gently stayed on Obi-Wan's shoulder, offering strength and gentle comfort, and he hoped the man would be okay. With a will, he took them back to the beginning of the man’s mind, and let Obi-Wan rest.

Obi-Wan’s strength returned slowly. He was able to pull himself up, but every muscle felt bruised, like he’d be pummeled in a fight. He met John’s eye and clapped a hand on his shoulder. He swallowed and waited until he was sure he could speak without wavering. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome, my friend. You have faced your dark moment, and your pain and accepted it. And you have made a brighter moment of it. Well done.” John smiled at Obi-Wan, glad the other man had found his way. “Are you ready to return to the outer world?”

It was always tempting, a little, to remain here, far from the rest of the world, and rest, but it was a temptation best left behind.

Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d finally been able to mourn Xi’an. He’d finally stepped into Kitty’s role and let go of what he couldn’t before.

At some length, he nodded. “Yes. I just hope that I’ll be able to put the damaged parts of my life back together. There’s a woman I’ve done some harm to, by keeping myself so distant. A great deal of harm, really.”

“Perhaps then it is time to do something that we are all sometimes bad at. Apologizing with actions as well as words.” He nodded to Obi-wan. “You opened up to me, a stranger, today. You can do the same to her, and show her your wish to make things right, perhaps.”

He smiled softly. “Be true to yourself.”

And with a gentle press of his mind, he let them rewake to the mortal world the conference room swimming into view around them.

As it did, John pressed a nearby button. “Marge, can i get some water in here, pelase? thanks.:

John stood and went to the door, accepting two bottles of water and giving Obi-wan time and privacy for a moment to collect himself. Then he shut the door and turned, coming back to the other man. “Here. Water. We’ve only been gone five minutes but the mind sometimes makes the body think it is longer.”

“Five minutes?” Obi-Wan repeated and discovered his throat was raspy, as if he’d actually been breathing in sand. His mouth was very dry. He gulped down the water. He also noted that the man wasn’t green anymore. “Seems like hours.”

John nodded. “It always does. The mindscape is the image of our thoughts and thoughts move faster than we can in real time. When we’re in there, we move faster, as well and react faster, too, because we are just thought.” he sipped his water, then smiled.

“How do you feel?”

"Like I've been hit by a train," Obi-Wan replied candidly. "And a bit... exposed. As you saw, I bury my hurts deeply."

John nodded. “I understand. Its hard to be exposed. I’m lucky in that I am learning to be open with my fiance, but I was like that myself, once, until the dreams started and I fell in love... but not in that order.”

He got serious then. “I recommend a good day and a half or so of sleep, and eating and drinking well, before going to work on the matter of the lady.” John nodded, again.

Obi-Wan nodded, though he wasn't sure he would be able to wait that long. He was patient, but he was eager to mend his relationship with Faiza. For her sake, he didn't want to make her wait a minute longer than she had to. She'd already put up with enough. "Hopefully she'll be glad to have me back. Hopefully she'll have me back at all."

John nodded. “I hope she will. Good luck in the attempt.” He stuck out a hand to Obi-wan and smiled. “And if you need anything, or just to talk, well, give me a holler on the Valarnet.”

"After today, I'm sure this isn't the last we'll see of one another."
FIN.