Who: Gaz and Kitty. What: Art exhibit! When: Monday afternoon. Where: UCI. Rating: PG-13 for language and flirting. Trigger Warnings: Self-mutilation, mourning of character death, suicidal ideation. Status: Complete!
It was Monday again. Kitty had gotten some good news from Emma, but otherwise, the act of shuffling the kids off to school and seeing Clarice and Illyana off to their respective jobs left her feeling lonely and alone. She got onto her bike, and drove down to the university. She’s read about an art exhibit here and it hadn’t take much effort to link it to the woman she’d talked to on the net.
She wandered around, hair bobbing on her head. It hadn’t even grown out below her cheeks.
Gaz was still hanging up the paintings she’d done. The one of Logan that she’d done in the abandoned building - the one of him standing on a pile of skulls in a moment of repentant contemplation - hung in the back on a wall. The rest of them were smaller but no less bleak, and Gaz was being careful to hang them up in places where they’d have the most impact. She wore a tiny skirt with striped thigh highs, her standard stompy boots, and a cut off shirt that would’ve had Hello Kitty on it had it not been cut short.
Kitty was surprised by the painting of Logan. Everything seemed so bleak, but impactful. Like being shot in the chest, and left to bleed on the cement while rain beat down on you, impactful.
She caught a flash of pale skin, and turned her head. She blinked, and wondered what kind of person could get away with a skirt that short. She decided that a) she didn't care, and b) she liked stripes now.
Rubbing her face, she turned back to Logan.
Gaz noticed the girl looking at the painting of Logan. “Do you know him?” Lots of people seemed to, so she figured maybe the pretty brunette would. Appraisingly, she cocked her head to the side. “I wish I could paint you too.”
"Like one of your French girls?" Kitty quipped, turning to look at the sexy young woman. "Yeah, he's kind of a teacher to me. You did this? You must be Gaz." Her smile was sad, with a touch of brilliance. "I'm Kitty, we talked on the net."
She turned back to the painting. "This is...beautiful desolation."
“Never painted a French girl.” Gaz nodded, then shook Kitty’s hand. “That’s what Logan is. He’s handsome, I guess. But he’s the saddest person I’ve ever seen.”
Smiling, Kitty shook Gaz's hand back. She had a firm grip. "I'm not French, but I've never been painted before. Wait. Sort of. I'm not sure dream memories count." She wanted to touch the painting, but of course she didn't. "His life is loss and pain and horror. You...captured him perfectly."
“He was in the room. You can touch it.” Gaz went to continue hanging up the other paintings, including one of herself flaying off the skin of her thigh with clinical precision. Well. It would’ve looked like Gaz if the character had had a head.
"You're kinda gruesome, aren't you." Kitty said, starting to follow her, with all the curiosity of her namesake. She stopped in front of one that made her feel....sad. "Where does this all come from?"
She wondered what Gaz would see, if she painted her, and if she had the courage to find out.
“It’s what’s in here.” Gaz tapped her chest, smiling to herself. “People say to paint what you know. So I do.”
"I'm sorry," Kitty said, sincerely. She doubted the girl wanted to hear pity or judgement, so she left it at that. And resisted the urge to hug her. "There was a time when I'd wonder how pain could be beautiful."
Gaz shrugged. “Nothing to be sorry for, it’s just who I am.” She wasn’t really upset by it. She liked herself. “Thank you. I think they’re beautiful. I’m glad you think so too.” It was nice someone did.
"It's art. Art is beautiful, whether it disturbs, titillates, offends or makes you think." She'd say Gaz's accomplished all of the above. "I mean I wouldn't take kids to see it, but it's still beautiful."
“Unless they’re weird kids like I was, yeah.” Gaz smiled a little. “There is a kid’s art exhibit at the museum downtown, though. They get to play with Play-doh at the end. It’s fun.”
Kitty decided she’d have to take the twins. Just the three of them. It might be fun. “Weird kids become interesting adults.” Something about Gaz made her want to befriend her. Maybe it was her own heartache reflected back. She rested her hands behind her back, wondering when she’d ever feel like opening herself up again. Not to discuss her grief, but to open herself up and just be.
“Most people just call me a bitch. Or try to take my picture.” Gaz wrinkled her nose. The fact that this woman didn’t know who she was earned her loads of points.
"Take your picture?" Kitty stopped walking and looked at her. "I mean you're hot, and frankly it's hard not to stare, but does it happen all that often?"
That made Gaz actually duck her head. She was pleased with the compliment, and she couldn’t help but smile. “I’m an heiress. I think they expect me to be Paris Hiltony or do something ditzy and stupid.”
"..somehow I think this would be more newsworthy," Kitty said. Gaz smiling made her smile, and she was desperate for any reason she could find to smile. "About the only thing money can really do for anyone is give them time to pursue something they enjoy."
It had worked for her. One stress she didn't need to worry about, and most of her big payday was sitting around collecting interest for the twins to go to college, eventually.
“Oh, they don’t really care about art. And I’ve been dark for as long as I can remember.” She hung up another painting, one of a stormy ocean and a slew of sirens. If one got really close, there was gore and entrails in their hair and a few bodies drifting downward of disemboweled sailors.
Nodding in agreement with Kitty’s observation, Gaz folded her arms. “My dad was loaded. When he died, it all went to me. Mom gets a stipend from what he left in his estate for her living allowances, but everything after that is mine.” She was worth a couple of billion, but she didn’t show it.
Some of the things Kitty had dreamed of would fit right into that painting. "It's gorey, but you're really, really good at deceptive use of perception and misdirection. I mean, really good. It's like.." She searched for the words. "I'd say it's your primary talent, regardless of the subject matter."
She quirked a brow. "How do you avoid gold diggers?"
“Thank you.” Gaz blinked, not understanding the question for a moment. “I’ve never been on a date.”
Kitty took the moment to stare at her. "Really? Not even to like a club or something? I don't peg you as a fancy dinners kind of person. Maybe a movie and dancing... " She reached out, and put a hand on Gaz's shoulder. "What do you do for fun? Besides paint?"
And screw Logan, apparently.
Gaz shook her head. “I just don’t. I do things with people, but nobody’s ever... you know, romantically.” She didn’t move immediately to shrug off Kitty’s shoulder, instead finding herself leaning into it. “I read. I play video games professionally, so that takes up most of the rest of my time. Endorsements.”
"You make your own way. I can respect that." She rested her face against the top of Gaz's head, and hugged her one-armed. "My video game playing is of the decidedly non-professional sort, but I do love a good game of battlefield sometimes." A little less now, after some of her dreams. Flying a mock fighter was nothing compared to a real Blackbird.
Gaz couldn’t help herself, wrapping her arms around Kitty’s waist. “Do you play FPSes? I’ve got a Halo 4 tourney coming up soon.” She didn’t know why she was offering, and soon let go of Kitty, blinking. “It’s uh. A good game.” Nope, she hadn’t been about to offer Kitty an invitation, nope.
Kitty blinked, and slipped her arms around Gaz. The girl seemed a lot more friendly than appearances would indicate. "I'm primarily a PC gamer. I'm not as good with a controller. Better than I used to be though, it's a matter of adapting. I haven't really had time to play a lot lately."
Her dreams had helped, actually. Some of the systems she'd used on various missions would probably help her adapt more quickly.
“You’d like Halo, it’s pretty simple.” She was being hugged back, huh. It was nice. For a moment, Gaz closed her eyes, stealing a moment of pleasure - Kitty smelled like soap and shampoo and she was soft - before moving away.
Kitty's fingers rubbed up Gaz's back, brushing along the bare skin until the girl pulled away. She wet her lips, and stuffed her hands into her jean pockets. If she was reading her right, she was attracted, and the truth was, the feeling was mutual. She really thought, though, that what both of them needed was hugs. And lots of them. She could provide that, at least, for now.
"I'll pick up a copy then. They're up to four?" She hadn't moved all that far away, and Kitty followed her a bit. "You said you wanted to paint me? I don't know if I want to see what you see, yet..."
“Yeah, they’re up to four. They’re kind of low on plot, but honestly, I get paid to play them. I show up to events, I bruise boy egos, it’s good for everyone.” Gaz smiled softly, chuckling when Kitty said she didn’t really want to be painted by her.
Moving to her sketchbook, Gaz quickly worked. And within a few moments, she handed Kitty a rough sketch. It was a woman, very clearly Kitty, holding a sword aloft with one hand. She was wearing a ballgown and looked radiant in her victoriousness.
Kitty looked at it, blinking. "Maybe I do want to know what you see..." She was expecting more pain and less strength. She didn't feel very strong, lately. She felt tired, and worn out, like Bilbo's butter and bread.
“There’ll be a dragon in there, slain, of course. We all have them.” She shrugged, looking at Kitty’s feet. “Some people slay them and stay ... shiny. Like you.” Some people, like Logan, had just been killing them too long.
Kitty reached over, touching Gaz's cheek. Her eyes looked touched, and a little less sad. "So...do you need me to model or anything? For maximum shinyness?"
“I’d like that.” Gaz answered too quickly, then went a bit pink again. “If you uh. Want to.”
"Sure!" Kitty's hand was still in proximity to Gaz's cheek. Her smile was lacking any bittersweet emotion for the first time in a month. She added, a little too quickly, "When's a good time?"
“Whenever, I’m out of classes by one.” Gaz bit her lower lip, shifting her weight a little so more of Kitty was in contact with her. “I can paint you at my apartment, so there’s privacy or ... something.” Everything Gaz said sounded like a stupid line to her.
"Yeah, okay." Kitty moved closer, pulling Gaz into another hug, resting her chin in the girl's hair. Her hand was still on her cheek, but she didn't move it. It was as much for her own comfort as to give Gaz some comfort in return.
Gaz closed her eyes, nuzzling into the hug a little. “You ... probably won’t want to be my friend for long. I’m kind of fucked up.” Friends didn’t hang out around Gaz Membrane for long.
"One of my best friends is a fuzzy blue man with a devil tail, and my mentor is a hardened killer. I think I can be friends with you." Kitty kissed Gaz's hair. She felt a little guilty, doing that.
“I’m a mean, spiteful bitch.” Gaz smiled. “Who’s your mentor? Is that how you know Logan?”
"Yeah, that's exactly how I know Logan." Kitty laughed. "I can guess at how you know him. Probably a way I'll never get to." She was only mildly jealous. "I've met mean spiteful bitches, before. You don't compare. No offense."
“I used to cut myself. Before, when it scarred. Now they’ve all healed up and I don’t ... there’s no point anymore.” Gaz sighed, sitting down in a chair, not noticing how her skirt rode up. “He won’t ... with you? I thought he slept with everything with legs.”
Kitty's eyes fell to Gaz's legs, and she swallowed. She'd always had a problem when it came to looking at other women (and men), even while Xi'an was alive. She'd just always had the morals to not act on it. Gaz was like walking eye-candy.
"I'm more like a daughter to him, or a student. I probably could have, before he started dreaming, but I was with someone at the time and that would be dishonest."
She folded her arms, shifting on the balls of her feet. "You can heal? I can kind of understand. Losing your scars, I mean. I lost mine in a different way."
“Yeah. I heal fast. Logan’s claws hurt me for a little longer, but even then, they still healed. I used to have this pretty latticework here, on my forearm,” she pointed, “that I made with cigarettes. But not anymore. What happened to yours?” Gaz used to cut the inside of her thighs as well. The thought flashed into her mind that she was glad those had healed, as Kitty probably would’ve been turned off if she’d seen them.
Kitty's eyes darkened a little bit. Wanting to be hurt like that, or cut by Logan's claws, she wasn't sure she completely understood. Kitty preferred to deal out pain when she was upset, not feel it, but it had felt good to be bruised and sore. Her eye was probably noticeable through the coverup. So maybe she understood more than she thought at first.
For Kitty, though, it was better to treat the cause than to keep up with the symptoms.
"I died. And then I came back. I dreamed of a ritual that rebuilt me from the ground up, and it happened here, in this world. I've got some new ones, since then, but all the old ones I had were gone. Every fight, every little accident...gone."
“You died?” Gaz sounded growly. “Who - why?” If she knew them, she was going to beat the shit out of them.
"A woman from a planet called Breakworld," Kitty said, putting a hand on Gaz's shoulder to get her to calm down. "It was...it's complicated. I was stuck in a sort of phased state, not quite solid, from a previous brush with death. That happens a lot in my dreams. Death and near death. She had a knife that she could use to slit my throat, and...then the ritual...brought me back. I volunteered, because I needed to save the people I cared about."
She knew she sounded completely insane, but if Gaz could heal and she'd seen Logan's powers...then it wasn't that insane, right?
She held up a finger, then sat down next to Gaz, and rested her hand on her thigh. It sank down, phasing through her. She lifted it back out.
Gaz grinned. “That’s ... so cool. That must come in handy. You’ll never get locked out of your car.”
“I have an issue when it comes to knocking,” she joked, hand still on Gaz’s leg. She noticed, after a moment and shyly pulled it away, hoping Gaz hadn’t noticed. “I’m kinda like a superhero.”
Gaz had noticed, but she hadn’t minded. She’d hoped it would last longer, and had to fight to keep from reaching out to grab Kitty’s hand and take it back. “Huh.” Suddenly she wished that she needed saving sometimes.
Technically, she probably did need saving. Kitty checked the time on her phone, then slid it back into her phone holder bra. She had awhile before she needed to be home for the kids, which was nice. She wanted to get to know Gaz better.
"At least I've dreamed about saving the world. A lot. It actually kind of sucks. There's never any time to decompress and be normal." This world was supposed to be her second chance.
“I dream about being a kid.” Gaz wrinkled her nose, shaking her head. “Being a kid and having a stupid brother who’s fighting with this equally stupid alien.” She rolled her eyes.
Kitty laughed. It sounded silly. "Yeah, I understand. I think I was 14 when I got my first trip into space. Even made a friend of an alien dragon. He's around here somewhere, actually....remind me to introduce you..."
It sounded about as exciting as it was, too.
“You ... really?” Gaz looked around for an alien dragon, realizing that she had no idea what the alien dragon would look like, but hell.
"I can see if he'll show up wherever you take me for the painting?" Kitty smiled at her, the expression bright and anticipatory. "Uhm..I'm not trying to impress you or anything." She darted her eyes around.
“I wish you were,” Gaz murmured, looking down at her hands. “But ... I’m just glad I have someone else to paint.” It was hard to get people to sit down for her.
"Maybe when... " Kitty put her arm around Gaz's shoulders and squeezed. She leaned against her, trying to process that. She really liked Gaz. She didn't want to hurt her or lead her on, but she also didn't want to.....something. She wasn't sure what that something was, but she'd figure it out. "It'll be fun?"
“It will.” Gaz nodded. “Here.” She went to her bag, rifled through it and handed Kitty a thumb drive. “My number’s on there. So’s a SNES emulator and some roms.” Her number was on there in case it got lost, but somehow, the situation called for it.
"Thanks." She smiled, then kissed Gaz on the cheek.
Gaz closed her eyes, feeling her heart thunking hard in her chest. “You’re welcome,” she murmured. How she wished that kiss could’ve lasted longer.
“I’ll give you a call, then!” Her smile grew wider. Kitty felt as though she’d made a friend, and that was a warming feeling.