InsaneJournal

Who: Flemeth and Gandalf.
What: Smoking and flirting.
When: Just after Flemeth's sale announcement.
Where: Her shop.
Rating: PG-13 for jokes about staves and pot smoking.
Status: Complete!



Gandalf stood outside the shop, leaning on his staff as he studied it. He tugged on his beard and walked inside, making a bell ring. There was more to this place then let on by appearances.

Wearing a long, sweeping black robe was a blonde woman. She was petite, but the way she carried herself made her seem much taller. A tiny kitten was playing in the folds of her gown, and she was humming to herself as she polished crystals.

‘Good afternoon,” The old hippy said, as he walked towards the counter. “I understand you’re having a sale?”

Flemeth smiled, handing the man a rose quartz. “We are. And if I recall, I was going to give you something extra.”

“Mm. Were you?” He pulled out a battered old wallet in multiple colors. “And what do I owe you, Miss?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. But what is it you want, Sir?”

Gandalf studied her, a curious expression on his face. He hummed, and hawed a bit, and then declared. “To take you up to the clouds, my dear.”

Her eyebrows went up so high they were almost in her hair. “All... right.” She didn’t know what that meant, but she’d try it.

Gandalf reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a baggy. “They say dreams are doorways to other worlds. I’ve traveled many in my time. And I’ll travel many more.”

Flemeth laughed, moving to lock up the shop. “You could’ve just said you were holding, silly.”

“Far too easy, and only half the truth,” he replied, eyes gleaming with mirth.

She chuckled, moving into the reading room to draw the blinds. It was the place where she sold all her books, but she also did her accounts there because it was very comfortable. Flopping onto a couch, she grinned.

Gandalf followed her in, taking a seat, himself. “I assure you, I have the finest weed and shrooms in the state, if not the pacific time zone.”

“You know, if you want, I do a little wheeling and dealing on the side - if I need to get weed or shrooms for any of my clients, may I call you in the future?” She crossed her legs, amused when her kitten crawled onto her lap.

“Of course! I do enjoy being a supplier.” Gandalf chuckled. “Which would you like to fly with, hmm?”

“Whatever you have.” Flemeth leaned closer to him, her blue eyes twinkling.

Chuckling, Gandalf rolled up a joint and held it out to her. “Lets start light.” Besides, he was feeling the oddest urge to impress her.

She leaned forward, putting her lips around the joint without holding it, smiling at him and waiting for him to light it.

There was no lighter, or even a match. Just a flash of flame from Gandalf’s thumb and forfeinger, and then the joint was lit. He lit his own the same way a moment later, and puffed out a smoke ring.

Flemeth laughed. “Never seen that before, how’d you do it?”

‘It’s magic.” He spoke matter-of-factly, then puffed out another smoke ring. This one turned into a dragon that flew around and dove at the kitten.

The kitten sqwaked and moved to hide behind its mother. Flemeth smiled, shaking her head. “I wish I knew some. I’m good at the stuff in the shop, but to me it’s less magic and more ... self reflection.”

"There are many kind of magics in the world. Mine is the more subtle sort." Though he did have an affinity for fire. "And a fraction of it's potential."

“So you’re going to get more powerful?” Flemeth’s eyes went wide. She took another huge toke of her joint, holding it in and breathing out. “Lucky.”

“I believe so, if one can believe the dreams I have at night.”

“What do you dream?” Flemeth adjusted her position in the chair, crossing her legs again.

“I dream of a far away land, where death cannot touch it. I dream of a world in need of protection and guidance. I am sent there to help however I may, but I am bound to not use my full power.” He puffed. “The people must free themselves, I can only manipulate.”

Flemeth grinned. “That sounds like my waking life!” Manipulation for the greater good, that was what she did best.

“Oh, I get a few moments of power. A beast made of shadow and fire. Now that was a battle.”

“Tell me?” Flemeth grinned, leaning back and giggling. “Please?”

Gandalf chuckled, and started to describe the descent into Moria. The goblins, and then what was awoken. The shattering of the Bridge, and his fall into darkness, battling the Balrog. From the deepest caverns, to the top of the Endless stairway, until the creature lay broken on the mountainside, and Gandalf’s own breath had left him.

Flemeth looked both concerned and aroused. “You came back, though. Yes?”

“Eventually. My time was not yet done.” He winked at her. “New robes, staff, and everything.”

“New staff?” Flemeth snorted. “Was it bigger?”

“Whiter, and straighter,” Gandalf replied, not missing a beat. “With a rather nice knob, if I do say so myself.”

Flemeth liked that he’d joked right along with her. She laughed loudly, relaxing and closing her eyes. “Mmm, this is nice. I needed an afternoon like this, thank you.”

“Your business is very stressful?” Gandalf asked.

“No, I just like laying around with handsome men.” Flemeth giggled, smiling when the kitten flopped into her lap again.

Gandalf laughed. “I would hardly say I’m handsome.” The air was filled with a delicious scent to it.

“I would.” Flemeth smiled, stretching her arms over her head. “And my opinion matters more in terms of your attractiveness.”

“Well, if a beautiful and clearly clever and intelligent woman like yourself thinks I am handsome, then so be it. I suppose I must accept the inevitable.”

“You’ll find a way to cope,” Flemeth grinned, taking a last toke. “Fuck, I don’t have any roach clips,” she coughed.

Smiling, Gandalf reached into his pocket and held one out.

“You really are magic,” Flemeth grinned. She leaned over and kissed his cheek as she accepted one.

Gandalf actually blushed, and ducked his heads, aw shucks style. “I always come prepared, that’s all.”

Flemeth giggled. “Did I make you blush? Come on, pretty eyes like that, I’m sure you’ve been flattered before.”

“Oh yes. Quite recently in fact. Just not from such a lovely lady such as yourself.” Gandalf’s joint was gone now, and he sighed in sadness, puffing out another dragon for good bye’s sake.

“Who from, then?” Flemeth smiled lopsidedly, though she laughed loudly when her cat chose to try to chase the smoke around.

“A young thing, runs a medical pot place. Quite interesting, if I do say do. She has green hair, and magic of her own.”

“I miss being young,” Flemeth murmured. “I try to keep up, but alas. I think my age is starting to show.”

“Hardly. You’ve aged much better than I have. Why you look at least twenty.”

That made Flemeth laugh. “If you want to make out, you just have to ask. I know I look fifty.”

“Thirties, no more. And is making out what they call it these days? My bones are creeky. I’m not sure I could survive.” He laughed.

“I’ll bring you back to life. I know CPR,” she grinned.

“Do you, now? The breath of life?” He winked at Flemeth.

“Eh, it’s mostly just me bullying you back to life,” she smiled. “Flirt.”

“I don’t know now. Perhaps we are due for a demonstration.” And Gandalf smiled innocently.

“You’re not in danger,” Flemeth beamed.

Gandalf laughed. “That could be argued.” He could be in danger from Flemeth. Not any mortal danger, of course, but other sorts of danger best left for the adults in the room to discuss.

Flemeth crossed her legs, grinning. “I won’t bite you, I promise. Unless you ask.”

“You remind me of a woman I knew at Woodstock.” Gandalf tugged at his beard and tilted his head. “Only much less intimidating.”

“Less? You wound me.”

“Oh, much less,” Gandalf replied. “But she was only half as pretty as you.”

“And who was this terrifying woman, pray tell?”

“Janice..something,” Gandalf said, waving a hand like it didn’t matter.

Flemeth nodded. “Well, I’m glad I’m hotter than Janice something.”

It could have been Janice Joplin, it could have been Janice Oppenheimer, Gandalf couldn’t really remember. Years of drug use had rendered those memories....foggy. “Oh, by far.”

Flemeth toed her heels off, sighing to herself. “Mmph. Thank you for that. That was ridiculously good.”

“I told you. I only grow the absolute best, my dear.” Gandalf toasted her with an invisible mug.

Flemeth leaned over to tug him closer for a snog. She had to repay him somehow!

What happens with a wizard and a witch of the wilds snog? Fireworks happen!

When she leaned back, Flemeth was smiling. “Oh, my.”

“Indeed.” The wizard folded his hands in his lap. The wizard’s staff was at attention?

Standing up, Flemeth moved her robes so the kitten got the idea to scoot off of his mistress. She moved to sit on the arm of Gandalf’s chair, smiling.

Gandalf slid an arm around Flemeth’s waist, and stroked his fingers lightly up her back. “Careful. People might talk.”

“Who? The cat?” Flemeth closed her eyes, liking the way his fingers moved. “I’m just the dotty old woman who sells scented oils.”

“Oh, cat’s have so many secrets. That’s why you must never masturbate when they watch.”

“I can’t help it, the little one likes to sleep on my bosom while I do.” Cats were friggin’ weird.

Gandalf pursed his lips while he processed that information.

Flemeth laughed and kissed him again. He was kind of cute when he was confused.

The wizard kissed her back, running his hand up her back. He liked the feel of the robe over her skin. It was anachronistic, what she was wearing, but he liked it.

Flemeth liked it too; it was what people expected her to wear, and it was comfortable. Smiling when he kissed her, she smiled when they came back to breathe. “Thank you for coming by, good sir. I appreciate it.”

“Perhaps I could come again?” Gandalf tilted his head, watching her.

“Have you come already?” Flemeth blinked and looked down. “I’m that good!”

Gandalf laughed. “Were there not fireworks?”

“I didn’t think there were enough for all that,” Flemeth quipped.

“That can be arranged, my dear.” He took her hand, and kissed the top of it.