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Tenoh Haruka wants to become the wind (swordoftheskies) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-03-05 03:00:00

"People like us need to stick together."
Who: Tenoh Haruka and Scootaloo, with appearances later on by Kaioh Michiru and Chiba Mamoru
What: Racing! Followed by passing out and talking about gender stuff and all the fun that comes with it.
When: Sometime recently.
Where: Out in the desert. Because they’re badasses. Then Haruka and Michiru’s place.
Rating: R, for mentions of sexual stuff. Trigger warnings for self-harm and some medical stuff.
Status: Complete.

It wasn’t everyday that someone asked Haruka to race with them. True, this was probably because most people knew her as the insanely talented racer, but... that didn’t mean she didn’t enjoy doing it for fun. She knew how to tone down the competitiveness when it came to people who didn’t race professionally.

She’d turned up well ahead of time, wanting to get a good feel for the area before Scoot showed up. It wouldn’t do to let him have an unfair advantage on her, would it? Especially not if she wanted to keep impressing him.

Scootaloo totally wouldn’t have been late if he hadn’t lost the duct tape and the ACE bandage. But alas, he did. So between that and trying to layer clothes enough to hide everything, and keeping in mind the weather. Or at least attempting to! He came up to the section of dirt and sand not too long after and tried to keep his voice deep as he spoke. It was always so awkward keeping it, but he’d been practicing on sex lines of all things. And thankfully they understood, some didn’t even charge him!

“Hey!” He waved to Haruka after taking off his helmet.

There were stranger places to practice keeping your voice deep! Not that Haruka would admit anything like that... it’d be awkward, for one, and that was something she really wanted to avoid. “Hey. Ready to lose a couple of races?”

Just because he was her fan didn’t mean she was going to go easy on him!

“Sure! Why not! Even if I lose to you it will still mean I got to race with THE BEST!” Smiled and ran a hand through his hair before pulling up fully beside her. Yes, he’s a tad on the thicker side with the clothing, he has to be. He hasn’t quite got the ACE bandage and duct tape to be perfectly flat around.

Haruka chuckled. It was actually kind of nice to have a fanboy who was interested more in the racing than anything else... made her feel that her racing career wasn’t a complete waste. “I might even go a little easy on you. To begin with.”

“No! Don’t do that!” Put his helmet back on, but raised the visor. “If I’m going to come close to beating you at all, I want to do it because I had the skill and the talent, not because you went easy on me!” Stuck his tongue out before revving up to the starting marker. He’s already far too hot in this outfit, but. He can’t be found out, not in front of someone famous. It’s bad enough they asked him to live there. How is he supposed to hide it around them! Especially when of all times for him to actually need to try and use a pad. Ugh, worst time.

If Haruka had even remotely known, she would’ve more than felt his pain. Whilst her... times like that were rare, largely due to reasons she couldn’t understand, they weren’t any less uncomfortable and unpleasant. She had no idea how women coped with it.

“Fair enough...” She slipped her helmet on, getting herself prepared for this. Considering how in-tune with her powers she’d started to become recently, there was every possibility she’d completely overdo any win.

There was actually someone at the makeshift course to get them started. And soon as it went off he kicked the throttle down and back and took off. If anything, this is just fun. He could care less about winning at this, and more for enjoying himself and being... Well himself. He was rather good, knew when to use his body to turn. Sure, he could do with pushing further in speed just a little. But... He was achy and it was too hot. He’s a few feet behind Haruka, he knows that much!

From what she’d seen, Haruka was impressed. He clearly knew how to handle himself on that thing, at least as good of some supposed ‘professionals’ that she’d raced against at one point or another... really, she could only assume he was holding back somewhat, considering the rib injury.

She’d really have to discuss that with him sometime. You know, when she wasn’t showing off the ridiculous speeds she could go.

With each turn she made flawlessly, he couldn’t help but just feel overwhelmed at the awesome. As the day progressed. She beat him TWICE! Awesome still!

And the third race, when the sun was at it’s hottest in the sky he was so close to beating her, a few feet from the finish line when he felt far too dizzy. It was the heat, and just shooting the last of the T dose for this week. In fact... He pulled off a few yards from the finish line and got off the bike, pulling off the visor and the sweat dripping from his brow is not normal.

Definitely, definitely not normal. More than enough to make Haruka stop and get off her own bike, heading over to him. “Looks like you really need a rest...”

“Yeah...” He groaned and leaned against the bike as best he could but it was too much. It was first the exhaustion that he felt. His eyes rolling back and as much as he tried to fight it, things went entirely black and he fell down onto the sandy ground. Thankfully he didn’t hit his head on anything hard! That would not be good.

Definitely wouldn’t be good. Haruka moved to gently pick him up, never more thankful for her somewhat insane strength... she could take him back to her and Michiru’s flat, couldn’t she? It’d be a more comfortable place for him to wake up than... well, wherever anyone else’d take him.

It’d probably be a lot safer for him too.

When he’d been brought, Michiru did her best to only remove the top layer of clothing off, and to put ice packs around him to keep him cool. After they got the AC in the flat to work, she took them off and just kept an aromatherapy cooling pack on his forehead. She left them when Haruka came back with the painkillers he’d need. Convincing Mamoru to give them to her was fun! And slightly illegal. But she’d had her legs broken and it could be gotten away with.

Scoot groaned reaching up to rub his head the the cooling pad fell off. He gasped and more than scared looked around the room first, then at the state of his body. And he wasn’t as clothed which meant an instant panic and trying to quickly reach for the coat beside him on the chair. He stopped and looked up when a hand grabbed his upper arm and the look of fear of the idea of having been outed Haruka should know all too well.

Haruka knew how that felt. More than she’d like to. Even now, the thought of being outed... it terrified her, on so many levels. “It’s okay. I think I understand... you’re safe here.”

How could she really explain this...? She’d never, ever been good at outing herself.

He shook his head quickly and tried to get free. “What did you see! Tell me? Or... I...” And now he’s starting to close off from the fear. It’s not fun. It’s scary and he doesn't know what he’s going to do. “Whatever. Just. Don’t fucking tell anyone. If you.. Not that there’s.” Shit he’s bad at this.

“Whatever you’re thinking of, I’m not going to tell anyone. I know better than that.” You didn’t get as far as Haruka did by not keeping secrets, after all. It was a pretty damn important part of who she was. “People like us need to stick together.”

That was probably far too vague to make much of an impact, but dammit, it was hard to say things like that.

Scoot looked at her more than a little confused. What was she saying? It took a little thinking until his expression softened and her squinted an eye. “Like...Us. Are... you?” Shifted his jaw at an odd angle, inching further back on the bed still. Mostly because touch is a big no no for him. Especially now, with no way to vent the dysphoria at all.

“I’m not exactly the same. More on the genderqueer end of things... but I know what it’s like to be in the wrong body, to want to try and make it right somehow.” Honestly, Haruka hated the word ‘genderqueer’, but that was mostly because it still seemed too... strict - what she was, in her opinion, couldn’t really be narrowed down to a single word.

She was a man who just happened to be at least a little comfortable with also being a woman. Which probably made no sense whatsoever. “As long as you keep my secret, I’ll keep yours... and I’ll help you. If you need help.”

“You pass... Really well. I never would have guessed. Ever.” Rubbed at his neck. “And sure. Duh. Last thing I want is to be outed, and last thing you want is that too I guess...” Groaned because the duct tape is pinching, but it’s not like he’s going to come out open. Next thing he knows something pinched too hard and he yelped and instantly pushed his arms around the other side from the original break. “Fuck.”

God, Haruka knew that pain all too well. She’d forgotten how many times she’d broken things binding like that... “If that’s another break, I swear, I’m teaching you how to bind properly. No bandages, no tape, nothing like that... it’s dangerous.”

Hell, even if it wasn’t another break, she was going to teach him. It’d save them time.

“Its all I could find to do... But yeah, another break I think. I should see a doctor about it. But I can’t be bothered. Too scared to do that.” He’d take off the binding if he was home, mostly to check the bruising and damage this time around.

That he seemed so... casual about it just made Haruka all the more concerned. “I think I have a binder that’d work for you... and Michiru and I have a private doctor, one who’s used to dealing with me - he could look you over.”

What would the two of them do without Mamoru? She honestly had to wonder...

“He’s safe?” Bit his lip hard, mostly because dammit this is scary and overwhelming like whoa. “And you don’t have to. Binders are pricy...” and like hell is he going to take off his shirt with her there unless she asks. It’s just how his mind work. Might do good waiting for Mamoru to be here just in case the damage would be worse if they took it off the wrong way. He did do a botch job at binding. It’s hard!

“More than safe. I’d trust him with my life.” Was he seriously assuming that money was anything close to an issue for Haruka? She made ridiculous amounts of money, and one binder... well, that’d barely cut into it at all. “When I want to help someone, money is no object... don’t forget that.”

“I...” And there they go, and him getting angry because the tears are falling. He turned away, into a little ball (which was most likely bad for the ribs!) off the edge of the bed. He heard a door open and shut with a light click, causing him to look and see another guy. Dammit. Too many people!

Even the manliest of men were allowed to cry from time to time. To Haruka, it was a natural part of being human, much as she tried to avoid it. “Scoot. This is Mamoru... he won’t touch you anywhere you feel uncomfortable. I just want you to let him try and take a look at your ribs.”

She knew that there wasn’t much he could do, really, but he could at least prescribe the proper painkillers for them. That’d do Scoot more good than whatever he was using right now.

Looked up at him and waved. “Hey...” Yes, still trying to play it cool. He’s allowed. “I have to take my shirts off, huh? You’re going to need scissors. I usually need to use a knife or scissors to get the tape part off.”

That... wasn’t good. In any meaning of the word. All the more reason for Haruka to get him a proper binder as soon as possible - things like that would just be adding to the damage, possibly aggravating the breaks all the more.

“I’ll need you to remove as much as you’re comfortable with... but we may need a little beyond that, just so I can see the extent of the bruising.” Much as Mamoru hated to make any patient uncomfortable, there was just no way around certain things. “If you get uncomfortable and want me to stop, just say so.”

There was more than just the idea of being naked in front of people that was making him not want to do this. All the same he lifted the shirts off over his head to show off the very bad use of duct tape and the bandaging. Took quite a while of scissors and pulling before the mess was off, and there to reveal the cutting on his breasts and upper stomach. He couldn’t help it, and it was always covered so no one seemed to question. Scoot put his head down and rubbed his hair back.

From what Haruka had told him about the intense discomfort that sometimes came with dysphoria, Mamoru could somewhat understand why he’d do something like that. “Alright. I’m just going to check the area around the break, see how bad it is... if I touch anything that makes you uncomfortable...”

It bore repeating, in his opinion. It was the only way he’d gotten Haruka to trust him enough. He made sure his touch was gentle, taking care to avoid areas that he was fairly sure would trigger off worse bouts of dysphoria.

It was nice, not even the doctor giving him the hormone therapy was this considerate. When he got close to the breaks he grunted and flinched away. “Ow! Watch it pal!” Scoot looked up to Haruka with concerned eyes. Mostly because he’s never had someone so willing to help him with this. “I thought I’d have to figure this all out on my own.”

It wasn’t really like Mamoru could avoid causing pain when it came to the breaks. He could hardly check them out properly without a bit of poking! “Sorry about that. I’ll be a bit gentler.”

“I’ll help you as much as I can... I had to go through this alone. I don’t want anyone else to have to follow that same path.” Mostly because it’d nearly driven her insane on several occasions, for various different reasons. “You have any problems, with anything, I’ll be here for you.”

“How bad are they, Doc?” Asking about the ribs meant avoiding talk about... gender stuff with a doctor he didn’t quite trust all the way. Sure the man was nice, but he wasn’t one to just be so free with it. He hoped Haruka would understand.

Haruka more than understood, considering it’d taken her long enough to properly trust Mamoru with that side of things. Sure, the man was their Prince, and the future King, but... that didn’t make it easy. If anything, it made it even more awkward.

“I can say that I’ve seen worse breaks.” And he really wouldn’t be lying! Some of the things people seemed to get up to in the OC... “The bruising makes it look a lot worse than it actually is. The breaks aren’t severe, from what I can tell... I can write you a prescription for some painkillers that’ll help.”

“That’d be nice. Thanks. Can I put something over these fucking things now?” Yes, tons of anger and hatred towards his body, loathing and everything like that. Can you really blame him?

Really? No. Neither of them could even remotely blame him. Haruka knew full well that keeping certain parts of the body exposed just lead to massive, massive dysphoria... especially when you hated the body you were in as much as he seemed to. “I’ll get you that binder. I think it might actually fit you properly...”

“Thanks.” He covered his chest whilst waiting for her to bring it, and when she did it wasn’t too hard to work out how to get it to fit. Once on, he looked down and things were much easier to deal with. It was insane how something so simple could do that. Scoot eased on a shirt over it, and he only needed one of his thicker cotton shirts and it looks flat and seamless. “...Whoa.”

He honestly looked a lot better like that. The wonder of binders... Haruka couldn’t even remotely remember how she’d managed to cope before them. “If you layer your clothes right, nobody’d ever know it’s there. It’s a pretty easy thing to get the hang of.”

“Sweet!” He said and grunted when he had to move. Ow, pain. But nothing he wasn’t actually used to. It was annoying, but something he was entirely used to at this point. Mamoru gave him the script and told him the usual of resting and not overdoing anything before he was on his way. He rubbed his shoulders. “So...”

Maybe, just maybe, that prescription would do its job and make it so he wasn’t in pain. God only knew it just made passing all the harder when your only thoughts consisted of variations on ‘oh god that hurts’. “So... anything else you need help with? I’d like to at least make you a little comfortable with who you are...”

Rubbed his shoulders, and he’s only saying this because he believes her on all of it. “Any way of looking things more of a... penis and not just frumpy padding and packing?” Looked up, a little tinge of pink from bringing it up. It’s awkward to talk about, dammit.

It might’ve been awkward to bring up, but that was definitely something Haruka could help with. In a way. “There are these things called packers. Some of them even pass what’s called the ‘Gay Man Test’ and can’t be told from the real deal...”

In fact, those were the ones that Haruka tended to go for, just because it eliminated the possibility of any overzealous fangirl finding out her true gender.

“Cool... Didn’t even know those existed.” He rubbed his neck. “Can they be used to... pretend jacking off?” He’s meaning just rubbing the hilt at the clit until orgasm is reached of course, but saying that is even more awkward than what he said already.

Awkward, yes, but Haruka’d really heard worse! “If they can’t, it’s news to me... we can do that just as well as any other guy. Just a matter of finding the right timing, right angle.”

Chuckled to try and deter the awkward. “And less using tissues to clean things up, huh?” Knowing it could do that would be fun! He held his knees and kicked his feet a few times. “How much are they and when can I get one? Do they feel... kind of real packed in there. Like the weight?”

“The cost really depends on what you want to do with it... there’s a lot of different types. I can more than cover the cost for you, though.” Haruka, obviously, had her personal favourites when it came to packers... largely because Michiru seemed overly fond of jumping her sometimes. “It feels completely natural to have. Kind of good.”

In fact, that may well have been an understatement.

“You don’t have to do that...” This is all too much really, more kindness and support than any of his foster families ever gave him. So much so that he dropped his head and turned away, mostly to hide the crying. Most of them from happiness!

“I want to... I want you happy.” This was more than just generosity speaking. Haruka hated seeing people going through discomfort, through pain, especially when she could help in any way... she was going to do whatever she could for him, no matter how much he protested.

“You’re insanely nice, no wonder you found someone as pretty and talented as Michiru.” Yes, even this one felt lonely and out of place when it came to romance. Sure he portrayed as it being icky and the gushy lovey stuff being something not for him, but deep down he wanted it badly. Wanted a girlfriend, someone to shower with gifts and compliments and be the best boyfriend ever. And... have the woman not care that the physical gender wasn’t the same.

“She hated me to begin with, you know. I’m always amazed that she came to love me so much...” Haruka knew she was damned lucky to have her. A lot of lesser women probably would’ve freaked out and outed her to the world at large, rather than just loving her all the same... “Maybe we can work on your confidence. Help you find a girl.”

It wasn’t like there was any great shortage of them on the network. Every other day there seemed to be someone complaining about being single... or about the weird dreams. One of the two.

“There’s one girl I kinda of like. But we only just spent a few hours chatting. And her brother was there. I don’t think it was anything big, she probably doesn’t even think of many like that. Seems like the kind of girl to just be on her own.” Rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

“You never know... sometimes, it’s the girls you least expect.” Because hey, like Haruka had said, Michiru had hated her. To the point where she’d been pretty damn sure that nothing would ever come of it... and how wrong she’d been. “You could ask her out somewhere. Away from her brother.”

Hell, she’d even volunteer to take care of him, if it came down to that.

“I don’t know. Maybe. But I just don’t like charading for girls I like. Breaks a thing of honesty I try and keep with them. Like, I’ve tried dating and the girls when they find out get so disgusted and... I don’t think I can handle that pain again, Haruka.” Shrugged again and flopped onto the bed. It was comfy. The room was small.. “Is this the room you were offering?”

She was still going to insist that you never really knew until you tried. People around here seemed to be fairly accepting too, but... that was a subject for another time. “It is. Most of the walls in this flat are soundproofed, in case you were wondering, so... Michiru and I shouldn’t traumatise you.”

“How do you guys...?” Arched an eyebrow and tried not to think too hard on it. But he was curious, dammit! “Can the packers be used for... penetration?” That would be wicked cool if they were! Seriously. He’d try going and fucking some random girl at a party if they could happen. Something he’s always wanted to do.

“Certain types of them, yeah. They tend to be called ‘pack and play’...” And dear God, they were fun, even if she’d never found that perfect angle until she’d met Michiru. That woman was insanely good... and who knew, maybe she’d be able to teach whoever Scoot ended up with a few tips too. “I wouldn’t try it on just anyone. In case you’re getting any ideas.”

“Damn. Guess it would be bad.” He yawned. “So I guess I passed out from the heat?” Wondered how he got here really. “And you took me home?” Leaned back and pulled out his very shitty rent a phone that might as well be from a cheap dimestore shop. It barely sent texts. He looked up when the green haired woman came in with... bags?. “Hi...”

Michiru smiled and stepped in, shutting the door behind her with her heal. “Hello, Steven.” Smiled. “Or do you want me to call you Scoot? Your choice young man.” Smiled again and set the bag on the bed in front of him. “Here are some better clothes, thicker so you can wear less and hide... Anything you need to hide of anything. Some men like hiding they have chest hair. That kind of stuff. There’s this.” Took out the new iPhone. Just like they had. “That phone, ringtones are terrible. You’ll use this. And uhm...”

Went looking for the other thing and dammit where did it go. “Dammit. I will return shortly. It’s in the car!” Kissed Haruka on the cheek and scurried off.

Scoot just stared at everything, mostly affected by how she spoke. “She... “ She knew, but didn’t focus on it? Or did, but implied it as chest hair.

That was why Michiru was so incredible. Well, one of the many, many reasons... if Haruka honestly tried to list all of those reasons, she’d be there all day. “She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she? I couldn’t ask for a better woman.”

“She’s... Wow. So understanding and I feel comfortable around her somehow.” That was different. He looked at the phone, an orange and blue case for it too. “And... Just as generous as you.” Looked up to see her walk in and carrying a smaller bag. “What’s that?”

“This....” Michiru said smiled and pulled it from the bag. Inside it is a shaving kit, shampoo/body wash, a towel, and something else. She’s found a pad inside his jacket, so she went out and bought the same kind, but unwrapped the frilly plastic, and put them inside a box that she had printed on their awesome printed a bunch of explosions and bikes and just. Bunches of manly stuff. “You might need these.”

He took it and went he opened it up, his jaw dropped and he really didn’t know how to react, the packaging disguised it and made it seem less... girly. “Thank you. I can’t say that enough.”

Sometimes, Michiru’s generosity managed to astound Haruka. She went above and beyond, perhaps even more than she did... just proved, once more, that she was honestly one of the luckiest guys in the entire world.

“There’s no need to thank us... we do things like this because we can. We don’t see a point in having money if we can’t use it to help someone.” Their Princess would be so proud of them, she had no doubt about that. They were spreading love and justice, right? Maybe not in the usual way, but that hardly mattered. “Don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything more.”