Kasumi Goto has more to talk about! (shipseveryone) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-02-16 21:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, kasumi goto, rose tyler, wrex |
Who: Kasumi and Wrex, with Rose and NPC doctors
When: Thursday
What: The worst Valentine's Day ever
Warnings: R, Trigger warnings for medical stuff, miscarriage, so many feels
Status: Complete
Kasumi was hoping to have a part-time bartender before Valentine’s Day so that she would be able to have a nice, romantic dinner. Sadly, she hadn’t found one yet, so she needed to work in the evening. She knew a few guys who really needed Joeyray’s to be open tonight. So they would just have to make due with a romantic Valentine’s Day Lunch. They could have a romantic night on Sunday, when the bar was closed.
Kasumi’s dress was not quite as tight-fitting as the ones she usually wore on their dates. She hadn’t gained a noticeable amount of weight yet, but she was a little insecure about it, especially in the tight dresses.
Wrex was okay with romantic lunch. He'd made reservations at a place that was nice, but not stuffy. He wanted romance, but he also wanted them to be relaxed. Besides, maybe things would be less creepy.
When he picked her up, he stared. The dress apparently met his approval. "..wow."
Kasumi smiled, a little surprised she could still wow him. "We should do lunches more often." She sometimes felt a little guilty that her bartender work made her miss a lot of opportunities for 'normal' dates. They needed to make their schedules fit up as best they could. "I could come to the ranch more often."
She kissed his cheek. "Let's go."
Kasumi could always wow Wrex. She could be in a paper bag and covered in trash and still wow him. "I'd like that. We should make that a thing. It could be our thing. I'd like a thing with you."
He took her hand and walked out with her. It wasn't that long a drive, but he didn't mind it. He was hungry, and the less time in the car the more time with her.
"Having a thing would be good," Kasumi agreed, giving his hand a squeeze. Kasumi was in a good mood, and spent most of the ride chatting. "How was your morning?" she asked. She'd only been awake for a few hours, but Wrex had already put in half a day of work.
“Pretty good. Things settled down after a small accident, but no one was hurt. Alma seems to be getting bigger by the day, though. Strangest cravings I’ve ever heard of.” He was smiling though, as if this was adorable and awesome all at once.
Kasumi's brow furrowed, but it was short lived. Wrex didn't seem phased, so she told herself to relax. This was a little difficult for her; coming into this family that had such unfamiliar dynamics.. Not that she had experience with normal families either, but she hated the idea of being creeped out by Wrex's daughter and her oversharing girlfriend...
So she wouldn't be. For today, at least, she would let all that go, and just enjoy lunch with her boyfriend. "Well, good."
Wrex couldn’t help being a bit of a proud papa, since he’d always wanted to be one. And he was going to be one again and this time he’ll get to care for it from the beginning. Take that, bitchy ex-wife. He should send HER pictures to rub it in her face.
“Did you sleep well? Any...disturbances?”
Kasumi shook her head. "Everything seems.." She almost hated to say it. It seemed like saying things were 'normal' just invited disaster. So she shrugged instead. "I slept fine. No more ghost sightings."
The restaurant was always nice, but the important thing--to Kasumi, at least--was that they had really good food. Today they had candles out and other subtle Valentine's decorations up. "Good choice," Kasumi told Wrex as they sat down at a table.
Wrex nodded, feeling the same ridiculous wariness about saying ‘normal.’ If they said it was normal, something worse would show up. Like husks, or reapers. Or he’d wake up with a Quad. Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but would be really, really awkward.
“Glad you think so. You don’t want to know how much research I did.” And who he’d had to ask for help.
Shepard would probably not let him live this down. Ever.
Kasumi couldn't help but smile. Urdnot Wrex did research for her? Occasionally the image of the big, strong Krogan intermingled with the blushing junior high boy trying to woo her. "Wrex, you don't have to worry so much."
It was sort of cute how hard he was trying--it made Kasumi feel special--but she wasn't going anywhere, and she didn't want Wrex stressing out too much.
“Worry? Who said anything about worry. I just want to make things special.” He’d felt like he hadn’t done that enough in his marriage. He definitely didn’t do that right in his dreams, but he also tended to be a bit of a...slut...in the dreams.
“Cause I love you. And such.”
Kasumi chuckled, smiling over at him. "We're ridiculous," she said, grinning. "I love you, too. And it is special. This is the first time in a long time that Valentine's Day has been all mushy and romantic for me."
Kasumi rubbed her stomach, frowning a little. Stupid stomach junk. She was starting to suspect the baby was part Krogan, and was starting the headbutting early. "I'm going to powder my nose," she said, getting up.
"I kind of like mushy and romantic, just don't tell Vakarian that." He'd never live it down. He smiled at Kasumi, catching her hand to squeeze it as she got up. Then he picked up his menu to peer at it. He wished he could order them both something alcoholic.
"What do you want to drink?"
"Yeah," she agreed. "Me too." Mushy and romantic was good. "Our little secret."
"Sprite," she told him. At this point, even if she was allowed to drink, she wouldn't be up to it. She really wasn't feeling well. She headed for the rest room.
Wrex ordered them sprites in solidarity and then sat back, a pleased smile on his face. They were really making it. Through this and with each other. It was so....unlikely. A younger woman like her, attractive and adventurous. He didn't deserve it but damn he liked the dirty looks he got from other men.
The stomach cramps were getting worse, and by the time she got to the bathroom, she was barely able to stand upright. She practically collapsed into the stall, groaning.
A young blonde woman at the mirror turned and frowned as Kasumi came in. If this was a bar, that might have been normal, but it was the middle of the day. "Hey, are you okay in there?" she asked in a soft British accent.
The stall was quiet for a moment before Kasumi responded. "I'm bleeding."
Rose's face softened. Poor thing, getting caught on Valentine's Day! "Do you need a tampon?" she asked, opening her purse.
"No, I--" Kasumi's voice was strained, as if she was trying too hard to control it. "I'm pregnant. And I'm bleeding." A lot.
At the mirror, the woman's eyes widened. That was not a good sign, she knew. "Oh no! Are you here with anyone? Do you need me to call 911?" She was scrambling through her purse already.
"Wrex. Please. He's at a table near the front. He's the father," Kasumi's voice broke at that word. It was the first time she'd called him that, and now it was probably going to be the last.
Rose burst out of the restroom and headed for the table near the front that only had one man. "Wrex? Your wife is in the bathroom," the stranger said. "She needs you, right now." She didn't want to explain everything in public like this.
Wrex coughed on his drink, then got to his feet, following the woman towards the bathroom. He didn't know what could be wrong, and frankly he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He just hoped he could headbutt whatever it was.
He tried to keep his voice measured and calm. It was the voice he used when one of the kids was going through a particularly rough day. There was the slightest undernote of gruff concern and worry, though, that he couldn't hide. "Kasumi? Are you okay? What's wrong?"
"Wrex?" Kasumi had half-expected him to rip the stall door off its hinges. He sounded so calm, compared to what was going on in her head. He didn't realize, then. Everything was crumbling and he had no idea. She wasn't sure who she felt worse for.
"We have to go to the doctor." She stood up, opening the door. She was shaky and pale, but her eyes were dry. She swayed on her feet, her knuckles white around the edge of the stall.
"Don't worry about your bill," said the woman, who had followed Wrex back in. It was the only way she could think of to help without being too intrusive.
Wrex's eyes widened as he saw her. He moved quickly, half catching her and lifting her up into his arms as though she weighed nothing. The smell of blood was noticeable but he put blinders on. If his mind went there right now, he'd be completely useless. He couldn't afford to be completely useless.
Despite his efforts to not think about it, his jaw was quivering. "Thanks.."
Kasumi let go of the stall, wrapping her arms around his shoulders instead. She was checking out. Wrex could carry her, could get her to the doctor--what could she do in the meantime? How could she possibly make this any better?
She just clung to Wrex, her face buried against his shoulder as he carried her outside.
Carefully, Wrex placed Kasumi into the car, buckling her up and trying not to make things worse. There was still a chance to save it, right? He had to believe that. He had to believe that it would be okay. The baby would be okay. Kasumi would be okay. He couldn't stand to see Kasumi in pain like this. It all had to be okay. Because he was King of the Krogers and it would be okay, god damn it!
"I love you." He started the car, swallowing hard. "No matter what happens."
Kasumi felt numb. She didn't move much as Wrex helped her into the car, just lifting her arm to make it easier for him to buckle her in. The woman appeared again, this time to hand Kasumi a bottle of water just before they left. It wasn't much, and she didn't even know the woman's name, but someone was trying to help. Even if the sympathy in the woman's expression made Kasumi cringe.
She didn't think she could really speak, at first. It felt like everything was spinning. Kasumi nodded, looking out the window. She should say something. That she loved him. That it was fine. That he shouldn't worry. But no words would come.
Hand on her arm, Wrex disregarded every traffic law known to man, making it to the nearest hospital quickly, but still far too long for his taste. His hand gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white. The tendons in his neck were tense, and the expression on his face was intense. He practically flew into the ER with her in his arms.
Wrex wasn’t one to cry, or gnash his teeth. He was, however, pretty close to it.
Under normal circumstances, Kasumi would be telling Wrex to slow down, to drive safer. She didn't even like it when he went over the speed limit. She was still too out of it to comment, though. Nothing really mattered anymore.
Kasumi wasn't sure how she got from Wrex's arms into a wheelchair, but later she would hope the nurse responsible didn't get headbutted.
The nurse almost got headbutted when he almost dropped her, but a quick save spared him the concussion. Wrex balled up his fists, trying to barrel after her as she was wheeled off, but several nurses, a doctor, and a security guard held him back. Wrex could only watch helplessly as Kasumi disappeared around a corner. He stormed over to the restrooms, and leaned over the sink inside.
The eyes looking back at him were already haunted with resignation. Alone, he couldn't pretend that something terrible wasn't happening. He couldn't fool himself any longer. There'd been so much blood. Too much blood.
Some cruel god was laughing at him, and Kasumi was suffering for it.
There wasn't much the doctors could do. It was still early enough that most of the process would have taken care of itself, but they tried to provide Kasumi with a little comfort.
After a while, a doctor holding a clipboard came back around the corner to find Wrex. "Mr. Goto?" she asked, though Wrex was easy enough to spot from the descriptions the nurses had given her. "If you'll come this way."
Not bothering to correct her (he didn’t want to complicate things, or worse, make them decide he couldn’t see Kasumi), Wrex nodded and followed the doctor. He had to ask. He wanted to be prepared. He needed the time to prepare for it. “They okay, doc?”
The doctor paused, taking a deep breath. She hated this part, but Wrex needed to be informed before they walked into the room. "She lost the baby," the doctor said, her voice calm and soft. "Kasumi is fine, though. She's resting now." She frowned, knowing any comfort she could give was limited. "Unfortunately, spontaneous miscarriages are somewhat common this early in pregnancy. It doesn't look like there was anything either of you could have done. I'm sorry."
The doctor sighed, looking down at the chart. There was one more thing that she had to add. "We don't know the reason why this happened, Wrex, it could have been something entirely unrelated, but.. Considering that she's had a miscarriage in the past, there's a possibility she won't be able to carry a baby to full term."
Wrex looked momentarily devastated. The confirmation of not just what was happening, but that it had happened once before, and that it could happen again (or worse, always happen, no matter what) was like a blow to the stomach. He'd rather be eaten by a Thresher Maw.
His hands balled up, then he shoved them into his pockets to give them a place to be. Blinking dust out of his eyes, he nodded. "Thanks, doc...Can I see her?"
He needed to see with his own eyes that she was okay. He could deal with the baby later. Deal with the fact that his one chance was gone, just like that.
The doctor nodded, gesturing to Kasumi's room, which was just ahead. "I'm sorry for your loss."
Inside, Kasumi was lying on her side, her back to the door. She was hooked up to an IV, machines beeping softly. A nurse was making a few notes, and stepped out just as Wrex came inside, giving them a little privacy.
Pulling his arms out of his pocket and folding them, Wrex stood for a moment to collect himself. Then, he walked to the bed, and rested a hand on Kasumi’s hip. He tried to speak, and words failed him, a sort of low pitched sound between a grunt and a sob.
Kasumi rolled onto her back, turning to face him. She looked exhausted, more than anything. "Wrex," she said, her voice hoarse. "I'm so sorry."
“Not your fault,” he said, trying to reassure the both of them. His face had cracks in it, like the brave mask he was putting on for her was starting to fall. Or maybe he’d been putting it on for himself. He sat heavily, moving to take Kasumi’s hand between his own. Someone’s hand was shaking. He was pretty sure it was his.
“Not your fault,” he said again. There was no one to blame. Who could they blame?
But Kasumi did blame herself; it didn't matter what the nurse said. She'd been awful when they'd first found out. She didn't want it, not like he did. "It was your only chance," she said, her voice cracking.
Her not wanting it had probably hurt more than anything else, but they’d seemed to reach a point where she was willing to accept it, and he’d hoped she would have fallen in love at first sight. He’d been almost certain of that, in fact. Wrex squeezed her hand again. His voice was rough. “I know. Nothing we can do about that now. You have to believe I’m not going to hate you for this. I’m not going to blame you.” He lifted his hands to cup her cheeks.
Tears began to run down Kasumi's cheeks. She'd been so ambivalent--or thought she was, anyway. She wouldn't be hurting this much if she hadn't wanted it, would she?
"I'm sorry," she said again. He wouldn't hate her. She believed him. They would get through this. "I love you."
Wrex wrapped her up in his big bear arms, careful to not cause her any more pain. He was crying now, and he didn’t give a damn because it was okay if Kasumi saw. He sounded choked up as he replied. “I love you too. I love you so goddamn much.”
The universe could sometimes be vastly unfair, but he wasn’t going to let it cost him what he had with her.
Kasumi melted into his arms, dropping her face into his neck, where her tears met his. She took a deep breath, feeling more strength.
"They're sending me home soon." The doctor said there weren't any medical complications that would need observation. It went without saying neither one of them was going back to work today.
His jaw worked, and he swallowed again. Going home just like that. It seemed somehow like there should have been more...something. He wasn’t sure what. But after the blow to his heart, it didn’t seem right to just let her go without worrying more.
“Not going to leave you alone today.” Or tomorrow.
Kasumi nodded. "Good." She didn't realize until he'd said that, but she was terrified of losing him right now. Everything from before, with Keiji, was flashing back, and she couldn't stand to go through that again.
Wrex realized, that despite everything, he didn’t want to lose her either. While he was still incredibly bitter about the ‘M’ word, the thought of it in association with Kasumi wasn’t so bad. Especially now, with his emotions so high.
He was just going to have to hope it didn’t make the woman rabbit away. “You’ll have to kick me out.”
She smiled a little. "I won't." She was too afraid something would happen to him while he was gone. It was going to be hard to let him out of her sight for a while. She gave his hand a squeeze. "I love you," she said again, and there was an undertone to her words that was almost like a plea.
Wrex kissed her, softly, afraid he’d break her if he kissed her with too much passion. The emotions were there, a riptide under the surface, threatening to pull them down into the depths to drown.
It would be a good fate.