Remy Lebeau (lediableblanc) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-02-14 01:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, candy quackenbush, remy lebeau (gambit) |
Who: Candy and Remy
What: Consolation
Where: Their apartment
When: After this text
Ratings: PG, talk of violence and sex but nothing graphic.
Status: Complete
Remy got home only a little bit later than he’d planned, having stopped for food for the two of them. “Candy?” he called, looking around the apartment. “Where you at, girl?” He’d immediately changed his plans after he’d gotten her message. She’d stood by him when he’d dreamed of killing Julien; the least he could do was return the favor.
She came walking from the kitchen, not wanting to run into his arms exactly, but certainly hustling. “Hey.” She wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes, trying not to feel stupid. “Thank you.”
Remy caught her, hand in her hair, resting his chin on top of her head. “Ain’t nothing,” he murmured. “I know what they like.” He’d re-lived killing Julien Boudreaux countless times. He’d seen the life ebb from that man’s eyes. He’d woken up sweating. Candy had dealt with all that. “You wanna talk about it?” Either way, he had to ask.
“It’s not ... not as bad as yours, not really. His name was Otto Houlihan, he was trying to kill me, so I killed him.” It wasn’t that cut and dry - she’d deflected his own blow with her light - but still. She felt it. The guilt, the blood, the way his skin had grown ashen - it was all there, between her ears.
Remy nodded slowly. He understood. “You did what you had to do,” he said heavily. They weren’t even murders, and he knew it; both of them had killed in self defense. That didn’t make it better - didn’t make the guilt go away. “I know that don’t matter right now, but I’m thinking it will.”
“I think so too. I didn’t feel guilty about killing Mendleson Shape. See? I’m up by one in our dreams, so there.” She laughed weakly at her bad joke, nuzzling closer.
“You always a little ahead of me.” Remy smiled, kissing her forehead. “But really, you know you didn’t have no choice. Right?” Kill or be killed in that situation. He didn’t even know what was real anymore.
Candy nodded. “I know. Both times, really.” She bit her lower lip, looking up at him. “He tried to bludgeon me with a mace. I made my light solid, and ... yeah.”
“Candy, I don’t know ‘bout you, but I like your brains on the inside.” He kissed her gently. “I know you feel guilty, but all you can do is remember it was him or you. S’ what I have to do.”
She nodded. “It’s mostly just ... startling. I don’t feel as guilty as I think I should. That’s what makes me feel guilty.” It was one of those ironies that made humans fucked up and difficult to understand.
Remy understood, though. “I felt super guilty about my dream, but I been there before. You do something and you know you should be sorry, but you ain’t.”
She nodded. “I’m not at all. That’s the worst part.” She bit her lower lip, looking at her hands. “I didn’t even actively kill them, that’s the worst bit.”
“What you mean?” Remy wasn’t entirely sure. “How could that be the worst part, cherie?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t even take the offense.” She shrugged. “I think of myself as a fighter, and in my dreams, I guess I am. I don’t know. I’m all tangled up.”
“Well, I don’ blame you for any of it.” Remy shrugged. “And it’d tangle most people, I bet.” He pulled her closer gently. “I ran my errands, and I ain’t got work to do. Could just watch a movie or something? Forget for a little?”
She nodded. “Have sex on the sofa. Rugburn’s awesome for forgetting things.”
Remy laughed out loud. “Ain’t my birthday til Saturday.” He kissed her gently. Whenever she wanted to talk, if she did, he’d be here. He picked her up, because he could, carrying her into the living room, laying her on the sofa and crawling on top of her.
“And I’ve got plans for that too.” She smiled at him, liking his gentleness just as much as his roughness, but then he was picking her up and making her giggle.
He kissed her neck once they were lying down, figuring if he could help the bad shit slip her mind for a while, he was doing his job. It would have felt kinda cheap with anyone else, but he knew Candy got what he was trying to do.
She smiled at him, snuggling close. “Hey. Thanks. It means a lot knowing someone understands my brain right now.”
He nodded, kissing her neck. “J’comprends,” Remy said, smiling. “You got me, girl. Ain’t no worry.”