I was afraid I had really messed up. Or that you would...
Who: Faiza and Obi-wan What: Explanations and things When: Friday Where: Faiza’s house Rating: PG-13 for romanticalness Status: complete!
Faiza waited impatiently for Obi-wan, her mind a whir. How could she have been that stupid? How could this even be possible. Was he pulling her leg? Was he delusional? None of it made any sense. The thought that she might be in a book somewhere had sent her scurrying to google, but she hadn’t hit enter on her name.
Was he delusional? Obi-Wan was asking himself the same question as he raced to Faiza’s, for once in his life not driving like an old man. If he ended up getting pulled over, the cop would have seen an authentic Star Wars “costume” and lightsaber “toy” in the passenger seat -- and probably would have ultimately forced Obi-Wan to use a Jedi mind trick.
Luckily, he wasn’t pulled over -- although Obi-Wan didn’t believe in luck. Because if he did, it meant his was very very bad indeed.
She opened her door before Obi-wan had even pulled to a stop, staring out at the car and him in it as though one or the other held the answers to all of life’s problems. Or were the cause of all of life’s problems.
Making the case for his sanity far more difficult to argue, Obi-Wan’s car was still painted bright pink.
He closed the door and stood on the sidewalk for a moment, a bundle of brown and tan cloth under his arm. Faiza’s gaze was sad, confused, and angry all at the same time. He hated knowing he was the cause of it, but he had no interest in defending himself. He’d made a bad decision. The only case he was here to prove was that he loved this woman.
She stepped back inside, leaving the door open in invitation as she made her way back to her livingroom. Except for an emergency that Scott had called her in on, her day had been relatively uneventful. If rearranging a girl’s intestines could be called uneventful.
Obi-Wan entered the house and closed the door behind him. There, he paused again, unsure if Faiza wanted to speak first or if she was waiting on him. Understandably, he was even more hesitant than usual to read her.
Finally, he decided to speak. "You have every reason to be furious with me, but I hope you can give me the benefit of a doubt. This was something I wanted to break to you over time. And I really was trying to acclimate you to... to the fact that I’m... Obi-Wan Kenobi."
"You should have just bloody told me," She turned and glared at him. "Obi, a relationship needs to be built on trust. This ..this is huge!"
The Wookiepedia entry on Jedi was open on her laptop.
"You wouldn't have thought I was crazy?" he returned, eyes widening.
“..I probably would have until you’d shown me something!” It was an admittance and an accusation. She flailed a hand, swallowing hard. “What..all can you do?”
“You know most of it. I can move things telekinetically. I have this,” he said as he pulled the lightsaber from the bundle of fabric. “I’m a swordsman. I have a spaceship. And yes I can read feelings and control some people with my thoughts, as well. I can do what a Jedi does.” His voice completely lacked pride. He almost sounded like he was apologizing at every turn.
“You can sense...” Faiza’s eyes widened. “Oh my.” She sat heavily on her couch, arms wrapped around her stomach as she processed what he was saying. “I’m like an open book. Bugger.”
Obi-Wan set his robes on the seat of a nearby chair. “No, I have control over it now that it’s been happening to me for so long.” He looked at her as a few pregnant seconds ticked by. When Dani found out, he’d had no control at all, and she’d reacted like a cat struck by lightning. But seeing Fazia beside herself was so much worse. “I don’t want to make any excuses. There are still times when I can’t help it.”
“What am I feeling now?” Faiza lifted her head, looking at Obi-wan, her eyes hooded beneath her hair. She at least hadn’t seen fit to pull her headscarf back on.
He swallowed and discovered a lump had formed in his throat. “I don’t need powers to know you feel betrayed.”
“I trusted you.. I shared my dreams with you,” Faiza said, a little more harshly than she intended. She didn’t even know why she was reacting so emotionally to this.
Obi-Wan winced and looked toward the ceiling. That one had really stung. He felt so guilty. He felt like he’d taken advantage of her innocence in this. His eyes were glassy as he lowered them. “I’m so sorry.” There was nothing else he wanted to say more.
Faiza pursed her lips, looking up at him, then getting to her feet. She walked over, and took his hand, squeezing it between both of hers. "I'm sorry. I'm bloody overreacting and that's not fair to you."
He hand his free thumb over her fingers. With his other hand, he touched her cheek -- gently, because he was worried about her pulling away and he didn’t think she was overreacting at all. “I love you,” he said, realizing what he wanted to say more. “What I did wasn’t a very good way of showing it.”
"No..I suppose it wasn't." She leaned into the hand on her cheek, eyes closing as she did so. "I still..I'm not reacting very well. I wanted to keep things truthful and honest with each other I didn't want there to be anything between us but air and sometimes not even that."
As her cheek floated into his palm, Obi-Wan’s tense muscles began to finally relax. It seemed Faiza had no end to the ways she could cause him to melt. “I deserve it. Though I hate the thought of making you upset.”
"How will you make it up to me?" Faiza peered at him, and into his eyes, her eyebrows cocked in challenge. She loved this man. Hiding things and all.
Obi-Wan’s eyes had cleared. He moved his hands to slide them along her back and pressed his mouth against Faiza’s beautiful, full lips and kissed her until his heartbeat pulsated through his entire body. He pulled back an inch, just enough room for talking. “Unless you’d rather I describe it in full detail.”
Faiza’s lips yielded immediately, her skin starting to hum and the tips of her fingers tingle. When he kissed her like this, she felt like the only woman in the world, and the only thing he was focused on. It was a brilliant feeling. A little breathlessly, she replied, “Please, elaborate.”
When Faiza responded to his touch like this, Obi-Wan felt a satisfaction with the world that was beyond words. He could nearly forgive himself for what he had done. She was too good for him, but she loved him anyway. Him. Obi-Wan. Who could have expected it?
He smiled against her lips. In fact, he was also blushing. “I’m going to give you a few very good reasons to keep me around,” he said with a gentle chuckle. He kissed her jaw. “Starting here...”
“That’s a bloody good reason,” she murmured, tilting her head back and exposing more of her neck. Faiza ran her fingers through Obi’s hair. She still felt guilty about how she reacted.
He moved his mouth to her ear. “For full disclosure,” he said, “This sort of thing might be a very opportune time to put my powers to work in your service.” There was a nervous tremble in his voice.
She blinked. “Oh?” She was intrigued, pressing close to the man, curious now.
He nibbled on her ear and, though somewhat cautiously, he began to experiment on a piece of advice Kitty had once given him. The brain did indeed have a pleasure center.
Faiza’s body jerked and she let out a sudden loud sound, half between a cry of surprise and one of ecstacy. She clung to him, eyes rolling up into the back of her head.
Obi-Wan gasped, reasonably worried that he'd accidentally hurt her. "Oh my. Too much?" It had, however, been quite an exciting thing to witness.
"I'm okay! I wasn't expecting it, that was quite...that was quite something," Faiza said, laughing breathlessly.
“I’ve, er, never done that before... ever.” Obi-Wan chuckled. He returned to kissing her neck and shoulder. “It might take some practice.”
“I’m willing,” she said, rubbing her leg up Obi’s. “My day was a little odd, but I think you just made up for it. Not the misleading though.” She poked his chest. “Need to work harder at that.”
He moved his hand inside the side of her shirt, pressing his palm against Faiza’s warm skin. He kissed her collar. “Odd how?” he breathed. “Odd aside from my stupidity?”
“Scott sent me in to help with an unusual case. Patched someone up a it.” She frowned, “Was rather impressed with the work the surgeon did, to be honest.”
“Mmm,” he moaned thoughtfully, nodding a bit as he kissed her sternum. It was going to become more and more difficult for her to get his attention with words. “She’s okay?”
“She will be,” Faiza said, gasping, digging her nails into his shoulder and back. He made her distracted, and wanted and loved, and turned her skin hot just by looking at her. She was afraid he might have created a monster inside her.
For years, intimacy had been nothing but a source of anxiety for Obi-Wan. The rules of the Jedi coupled with his own personal fears turned his heart into prison. But Faiza had so effortlessly found the key. He’d burst through that door, running. For Faiza.
My rescuer, he thought with a smile, his kisses showing no signs of stopping. “Surgeon?” he asked, still trying to keep up his side of the conversation.
“Mm. Very talented. He was the responder in the ER. I just sort of..snuck in.”
Obi-Wan pulled away for a moment, one eyebrow raised. Perhaps he should have been paying more attention. “ER? What happened?”
"A girl got ripped up pretty badly. Scott called me in to do my magic." Faiza smiled softly. “I think I did enough. At least I hope I did.”
Obi-Wan took a breath to reclaim his focus. He looked at Faiza warmly and brushed some of her wild hair back behind her ear. She had so much power in that petite body of hers. It was really quite amazing. He’d experienced it first-hand. “I’m sure you did. You’re a miracle worker.”
"I only built upon someone else's work Dr. McCoy deserves more credit.." She put her hand over his, and nuzzled into it, eyes closing. "Were you worried? About us and me getting upset at you."
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together and then released a sigh. Occasionally, he had wondered if Dani’s refusal to come back was because he had kept one secret too many. He didn’t want to repeat those mistakes with Faiza -- in fact, it would have been worse. What he felt for her ran from an even deeper well.
“I was afraid I had really messed up. Or that you would...” He shook his head and sighed again. “Not want to see me anymore.”
“Don’t be preposterous. It’s not like it’s something that couldn’t be worked out or talked out. I’m not afraid of relationships.” Like whoever Obi had been dating before her, the crazy bird. Faiza would have words with her, oh yes she would.
If she could find her. Dani had gone survivalist. Probably living off game she caught herself. Hopefully not squirrel meat.
“And you’re not worried about the Jedi rules?” he asked, balling up the hem of Faiza’s shirt in his fists. “I promise you, it’s different here, and that’s not a conclusion I came to without a lot of thought and worry. Everything’s new now. It wouldn’t prevent me from...” Marriage. Children. “It would never be in the way of our future.”
Faiza swallowed, and nodded her head. “That’s..good. Because if you can’t, if you’re not able to go through with this and forget about those rules, then I really ought to know now.”
The lines around his eyes deepened. “If you’ll forgive me for sounding a little crazy... Luke Skywalker -- you remember him, I’m sure -- when he began training Jedi, he was able to recognize that the denial of certain emotions as a dangerous thing. Love can give a warrior great strength.”
Obi-Wan touched her cheek. “What’s happening now is similar. There are very few Jedi at the moment. We have discussed the matter amongst ourselves at length. ...And to be totally honest, it would be very wise for us to...” He paused and his ears turned bright red. “Ensure the Order doesn’t die out with us. But that’s-- I mean, I’m just speaking hypothetically.”
She couldn’t help it, the words spilling out nervously and with a dash of dry snark. “Are you saying you want to have magic babies with me?”
Obi-Wan coughed to clear his throat. “I’m saying that if we had babies, they might be magic. Though considering that your talents are genetic, they might have powers either way.” He smiled, still blushing.
“What should we call them,” she asked, teasingly.
“You want to name our hypothetical children?” he smirked.
“Who said they were hypothetical?”
His smirk faltered just a bit, unsure of... "Naming our non-hypothetical future children then... Ben's not a bad name for a boy." He shrugged a little. He wanted children, he'd just never given naming them too much thought. But his mother had called him Ben.
“I like Ben,” Faiza replied, smiling at him. She trailed her fingers down his jaw line. “I’m rather fond of it.”
“My mum called me Ben,” he said, with hints of affection and sadness in his eyes. “Sometimes Benny.”
“Were you close to your mum?” Faiza chewed on her lower lip, dropping her hand down to take Obi-wan’s and squeeze it. She could see the sadness, and was afraid to ask.
Obi-Wan moved his hands to rest on Faiza's hips, perhaps to give himself some comfort while he sorted through those distant but still tender memories. "She was a troubled woman," he began. "I ended up going in and out of foster care, but I always hoped she'd pull herself together... maybe selfishly. Then I was adopted and I didn't see her after that." As a boy, it had felt like utter rejection, but now that he was a man he could forgive her. And love.
“I see. Do you think she’s still alive? Or has that ship sailed?”
He shook his head. "Sadly, no," he said with a sigh. "Last time I was in Scotland, I found out she'd passed away. I like to think she's finally found a little peace." He was okay, but it was far from easy.
“I’m sorry. I understand, love.” Faiza stepped out of his arms, moving around to his back and rubbing her hands over his shoulders. She kissed his shoulder blades, one after the other. “I believe she has.”
He closed his eyes and enjoyed the massage. How had they gone through so many meaningful topics in so short a time. "Mm, thank you."
"For what?" Faiza didn't stop, still working at his shoulders. She loved the feel of him.
Obi-Wan was about to thank Faiza for the massage, because it felt just that good. He carried a lot of tension in his shoulders. What came out of his mouth, however... "For everything. For forgiving me."
She stopped, abruptly, and then turned him around, kissing him on the lips. It was gentle at first, and tender and scared and a thousand other emotions that suddenly bubbled up to the surface. She hugged him, arms threading around his chest, warm, wet tears spilling down her cheeks.
Obi-Wan felt like he was in the midst of a whirl wind and it took him a second or so for his mind to catch up with his body. He hungrily kissed her back. No, feverishly. Faiza's skyrocketing emotions were like a source of heat inside him.
But then he felt the moisture on his face and the sensation changed. Tears. He gently pulled back, taking Faiza's cheeks in his hands. He wiped aside beads of water with his thumbs. "What? Faiza? M'lady?" He tried to smile for her.
“I bloody love you, you right arse!” She shouted, her emotions boiling over. She couldn’t control them anymore!
Obi-Wan blinked, startled and entranced and concerned. He continued to wipe away her tears. He knew Faiza was one to bottle her emotions almost as much as he. Now he wondered if she did it even more so. Crying for him? Imagine that.
More than anything else, Obi-Wan was deeply moved. He felt his own eyes fill. He continued to blink. “Oh... Oh, Faiza.” He wrapped her up in a tight embrace.
Sniffling, she rested her face against his chest, and nuzzled against him. She couldn’t find the words she need to say, and instead just...felt at him.
It was high time they made love, Obi-Wan decided. Slowly and tenderly. Her tears were beautiful, but he wanted to hear her happy sighs. He wanted a smile back on Faiza's face. She had such a pretty smile.
"Would you like to go upstairs?" he breathed into the crown of her hair.
“I’m afraid my legs don’t quite work,” Faiza said, out of breath all of a sudden. She clung to him. Like the world would end if she ever let go.
Obi-Wan smiled into her dark curls. His eyes sparked a bit. "Right here then."
“Oh? Oh. Oh ho!” Faiza started to giggle ecstatically. She turned her head and kissed him, hard.
Obi-Wan let go of her only long enough to collect some of the sofa cushions and move them to the floor. He wanted to make sure Faiza was comfortable. He knelt down and offered her his hand.
Faiza reached down, taking Obi’s hand. She was blushing the color of her favorite headscarf. “This is very very improper.”
He gave her a playful wink. "On the contrary, we're going to go about this very properly. And I'm going to put a proper smile on that face."
“Do tell.” She fell to her knees next to him with a very improper oofing sound.
Obi-Wan simply smiled for a moment. His mind had taken a detour back to all their non-hypothetical future children. He wondered what the combination of their very</f>magical. Sniffling and smiling, she teased. “I think I forgive you for having terrible fashion sense.”
He lifted a lazy eyebrow. "Well, considering that I'm naked right now..." To which transgression was she referring?
“The robes, I mean. Brown is not your colour. You look much better in burgandy.” She smiled cheekily.
He fluffed out his hair with a free hand. "Think it will bring out my auburn highlights?" he said dryly. Obi-Wan was nearly a red-head. With Faiza's rich skin color, it was possible they would produce some exotic and potentially odd-looking children. "Don't worry, my lightsaber really goes with my blue eyes."
She shook her head, and put a finger over her lips. She could deal with that oddness tomorrow. Right now she just wanted Obi-wan the man, and not Obi-wan the legend.
Obi-Wan smiled, sensing her thoughts a little, but able to easily read her expression. Such is love. He kissed her cheek and pretended to lock his mouth and toss the key. It seemed they might have a lifetime to deal with that oddness.