draco_thegreat (draco_thegreat) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2013-02-08 09:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, bellatrix black, draco malfoy |
Who: Bellatrix and Draco
When: Day after Bellatrix posts her love for another woman on the net
Where: The twins' apartment
What: Catching up
Rating: PG - talk of curses and hinted at abuse
Status: Complete
Draco was actually looking forward to seeing his Aunt, he’d had a few more dreams and wanted to see if she’d had similar ones. And he was intrigued to know if he and Pansy were the only ones who had woken up to find the wands from their dreams on their bedside tables. His mom, he knew, would deny anything but Aunt Bella had always been straight up and honest with him. He liked that, he hoped he had the strength to be like her when his relationship with Zuko came out, as it was likely too now he’d been seen out with him.
He was sat in the living room watching some random tv show, she hadn’t said what time she’d be coming over but, other than his boyfriend coming over at some point, Draco had no other plans so was content to just hang until she got there.
She'd had so many dreams, and she loathed herself in them. Sure, she was a selfish bitch who thought only of herself, but she wasn't cruel like that. Bellatrix was fighting a war in her mind, between who she dreamed she was, who she'd used to be, and who she wanted to be.
Right now, it was a stalemate.
She walked up and knocked, hoping Cissy wasn't in.
Their mom didn’t visit Pansy and Draco that much, preferring them to visit her so Bellatrix needn’t have worried.
Hopping up from the sofa Draco answered the door with a smile, “Hey Aunt Bella, welcome to Casa de Draco” he joked as he stood back to let her in, “And Pansy” he added with a grin.
Bella smirked a little at that. She wondered if either had had that dream. She stepped inside, skirt swishing around her feet. It was black leather with a matching corset. She looked like she belonged in the wizarding world.
"I like what you've done with the place."
“Had to make it our own” Draco said, “Made a nice change to do what we wanted” he admitted with a shrug. “Do you want a drink or anything?” he offered.
"I doubt you have anything hard enough." Bella seemed pleased that they were doing what they wanted. They were still young enough to escape. That was a luxury she'd never had.
“I think there’s vodka in the cupboard” he replied, Pansy and he usually stuck to beer but they had emergency spirits in the house just in case of a really bad day.
"Don't tell your mum." Bellatrix went right to the cupboard and poured herself a stiff drink. She downed the first glass in one go, poured another, and decided to nurse that one.
She turned around to study Draco. "Are you seeing anyone, lovey?"
Draco didn’t mind the odd beer but the way his Aunt downed the vodka was either impressive or worrying. Jury was still out on which. He shook his head, “Your secrets safe with me” he assured her.
He blushed slightly when he answered her, “Actually I am” he smiled as he thought of his boyfriend, “His name’s Zuko”
“Odd name, but then so are most of the names in our family. I’d like to meet him. Just because you love someone doesn’t make them good for you.” The heartache was evident in her eyes, but it was the only clue as to what she was thinking.
Yeah, as a family they really weren’t in a position to criticise when it came to names. He nodded, “You can meet him Aunt Bella” he agreed easily, “I think he’s really good for me, he’s pretty amazing” he added.
“You okay?” he asked in concern, remembering her complicated relationship from the last time they spoke, “Is the person you love no good for you?”
“I don’t know, Draco. She says she loves me, but she won’t be open about it. And what’s worse, she believes she has to share her love.”
“It’s hard to be open sometimes, if you’re worried about what people will say or do” Draco said, having tried to hide himself before finding Zuko, “What do you mean share? Is she dating somebody else?” he questioned.
“She’s rather religious,” she replied, dryly. “And yes. She’s engaged, in fact. This was fine, for awhile, but it grew tedious. I didn’t want to share any more. So she chose him, because she’s too bleeding afraid of the truth.”
“I’m sorry Aunt Bella” Draco said sadly, “I didn’t realise. I don’t know where to begin helping you but if I can then just say the word. Do you think she truly loves you?” he asked carefully.
"No. Yes...I don't know." Bella scowled. She set her drink down. "Our family is...difficult. I expect to be shunned."
“Not by Pansy and me” he assured her, “And mom will come round. The rest of em?” he shrugged, “Do you really care what they think?”
"I doubt your mother will. I'm ruining her image." She didn't sound like she cared. "Parents can bugger off."
"She'll get over it" Draco said, not concerned. He was sure his mom would be fine, after a bit of drama no doubt. "That's the spirit" he told her with a grin.
She shrugged a shoulder. Narcissa was a much better parent than her own mother and father had been. She doubted Cissy would stand by while her husband did terrible things to their daughter, for example. “I hope so.”
“Trust me” Draco said, “You’ll be okay Aunt Bella, we’ll make sure you are”
That she was getting comfort from a boy barely out of childhood wasn’t lost on her, and her scowl returned. But she took it, because what choice did she really have? Maybe if she’d been a bit more open, and had had a less nutters family, she wouldn’t have so easily fallen under Voldemort’s sway. She knew he was out there, but safely locked away. There was a constant pit of fear in her stomach that he’d start to dream too.
She didn’t know what she’d do if he called for her.
“A family like ours always has secrets, Draco.”
Draco shrugged, “I guess so but doesn’t mean we have to be one of them” he pointed out, he looked at his Aunt wondering if he should say anything about the dreams. The worst she could do was refuse to talk about them like his mom, who even refused to admit that she had them.
“I think mom keeps her dreams a secret” he told her in the end, taking the chance, “She claims she doesn’t have them but I don’t believe her”
“You’re right not to believe her. She doesn’t want to admit they happen, because she probably doesn’t want to be the person she dreams about.” Bellatrix waggled a finger. “But if you don’t bloody listen to them, then you’ll become that person.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty much taking them as a warning. Don’t worry dream me is a complete prat, I don’t wanna be anything like that” he told her, “The magic’s pretty cool though” he said with a slight smile.
“A prat? Dream me thought dream you was marvelous, of course that Bellatrix was a complete nutter.” And sometimes so was she. She reached down her corset and pulled out her wand. “The magic is brilliant...”
“You were pretty mental” Draco agreed, “But dream Draco didn’t seem to mind much” he’d found her lessons in occlumency handy anyway in the most recent dream he’d had. He grinned as she pulled out her wand, “Can you use it?” he asked as he opened a drawer and removed his own, “Pansy is better than me but I can do some basic stuff” he admitted.
“Can I use it?” Bellatrix laughed, a not all together pleasant sound. Oh, it could be pleasant, but there were times it wasn’t. “I remember everything dear Draco. There isn’t a spell I can’t do.”
She was, in fact, teaching Pansy certain forbidden spells....
“Could you show me?” Draco requested, not entirely sure what to make of the laugh, “I’d like to be able to do some cool stuff” He’d quite like to show off to Zuko too.
Bellatrix waved her wand, lifting Draco into the air. She spun him in a slow circle before lowering him back down.
Draco didn’t panic, all credit to him, and when he was set back down he gave her the brightest grin. “Okay now that was very cool” he told her, “Please tell me you’ll teach me” he added charmingly.
“I’ll teach you. I’m already training your sister.” She flashed her nephew the most mischievous grin. “I can teach you all the Dark Arts.”
“So that’s how she’s so much better than me” Draco huffed, “She’s cheating already!” Draco wasn’t overly competitive but he would like to be as good with spells as he was in his dreams, it seemed to be the one good part of them. “Have you had the dream about teaching me occlumency?” he asked his Aunt curiously, “I think I could be as quick at picking up spells as I was at that” he told her confidently.
"She needed it," Bellatrix remarked. After that..magic wielder, or whoever she was. God only knew how many other potential duels they could come across, and she wanted to be prepared. Besides, Pansy was too much of a .... Pansy. This needed to be fixed too.
Draco nodded, “Well she’s had enough of a headstart” he replied, “I need to catch up” he grinned.
"Would you like to get started now?" Bellatrix asked, her eyes flashing as she considered the possibilities. Perhaps she could have her own little army.
“Sure” Draco said eagerly, “That would be great. What are we going to start with?” he asked, hoping it would turn out that he would have as much talent here as he did in the dreams if not more so.
“Curses,” Bellatrix replied, her smile lighting up the room. “Curses and hexes.”
Draco nodded slowly, he had a feeling he may well end up regretting this. “Umm right” he replied, “Sounds...advanced” he replied, somewhat nervously now. Still she’d been teaching Pansy and he’d not noticed that she’d suddenly developed two heads or anything so that was a good sign.
"Let see, what shall we start with?" Bellatrix started to circle Draco, eyes roaming up and down his body as she studied him. "Your posture is all wrong. You need more confidence. And arrogance. Chin up." she tapped it with her wand. "Shoulders back. "She tappd his shoulder blade."
Draco followed his Aunt with his eyes as she circled him, changing his stance when she tapped him. He tried to mimic the way he’d been in his dreams, all cocky confidence, though he knew it wasn’t really in him here but still he tried.
“Good. Do you have your wand?” The wand was very important. She doubted Draco had the abilty to do wordless or wandless magic yet.
He pulled it out of his back pocket where he’d put it earlier and held it as he remembered from the ‘duelling’ dream. “Like this?” he checked.
“Good!” Bellatrix lifted hers up. She pointed at the wall, and a blast of green energy hit it, leaving a black mark. It should wash off. Probably.
“What was that?” he asked, pointing his own wand at the wall but becoming disappointed when nothing happened.
"A very deadly spell. Only the deadliest, lovey." She lowered her wand, grinning at him. "A forbidden spell."
He grinned back, “Forbidden in the dream” he replied, “But there aren’t any rules here are there” he pointed out.
“Exactly.” She wasn’t sure the boy had enough hate to do more than tickle with a Crucio, but a Kedavra...She just needed some test subjects. Rats or something.
“So which spell are we hitting the wall with and how do I do it?” he said, resuming his stance and pointing his wand at the wall.
“Avada Kedavra. It’s a curse you should only use when you’ve no other choice, because it will kill someone instantly.”
Draco's eyes widened slightly as he nodded, she really hadn't been joking about curses. But still it was a wall they were practicing on not anything alive. If it were Draco would have serious issues because dreams or not there were some things you just didn't do.
He raised his wand and sent the spell flying towards the wall.
Bellatrix clapped her hands together in glee. “The thing about this spell, is it has no obvious effect on a body. No mark, nothing. Their hearts just stop.”
Draco was rather impressed that it worked and his Aunt’s obvious pleasure made him smile, “So it looks like a heart attack?” Draco guessed, which was cool in a way but also really worrying.
“I would assume so. Mudbloo--muggles wouldn’t have the foggiest clue!” She corrected herself of the slur, though her eye twitched as she did so. She was trying to be good, she just didn’t always succeed.
“That’s an interesting thought” he mused, noting his Aunts almost slip. He remembered dream Draco calling Hermione that and getting punched for it. Not that he didn’t deserve it, he thoroughly thought he did. But he decided not to mention that right now.
“We’ll probably never need it. But it’s good to know, especially in a wizard’s duel!”
“It is” he replied, “It’s kind of a shame there aren’t more wizards to duel with. Or quidditch, that was so much fun” Draco wasn’t a fan of many sports in reality but the game in his dream had been fun. To watch and to play.
“Maybe you can start a league when you get enough dreamers.” Imagine if the Wizarding War had been settled on the pitch.
Draco chuckled, “Now thats a thought” he replied, “You think there are that many people out there who have the dreams?” he knew of Pansy of course and Hermione. It was logical that anybody there who was here would be having them.
“Of our world? I don’t know. Our family, I suppose. I’ll bet those prats dream as well.” Bellatrix made a face.
“Probably” Draco agreed, “Not that I’d ask them, I avoid most of them like the plague” he added.
“They’re fun to mess with, but that’s about it.” Bellatrix spun her wand between her fingers. She desperately wanted to tell someone about Caprica, and about her father. She decided Draco wasn’t that person. At least for the second thing.
“And of course you know the best ways to do that” he said with a sly smile. He didn’t know his Aunt needed to share anything though if he had of done he would have assured her he would listen and not reveal anything to anybody.
“Can I confide in you? You can’t tell anyone, not your boy, and not Pansy.”
Draco nodded, “Of course” he promised honestly.
“This woman, the one I love, you know her.” Bellatrix started to pace. Her voice was filled with pain and derision. “It’s Six, the Black family foster child.”
“Six?” Draco repeated in surprise, “Oh. Right. Yeah” he said, “That, well, that’s...difficult”
He thought about it more for a moment, “Oh of course, when you said earlier about her being ‘rather religious’ and it being hard. I didn’t realise...” it was a damn sight worse than that.
“Difficult. Brilliant way to put it. Well it’s over now. I don’t even know how I could have...” She sighed. “When you love someone you ignore their flaws. Like promiscuity. The slut.”
“You don’t mean that though do you” Draco stated, it wasn’t a question, “You still love her. That’s why it’s bothering you so much”
“Of course I do! Of course it bothers me! She’s going to get married, and not to me.” Bellatrix folded her arms over herself. “Even before this, I just...let her go and be with other people, as long as she came back to me. But I couldn’t ever be with her in public. Or have her to myself.”
“Outing yourself publically isn’t going to change that” Draco pointed out as gently as he could, “I mean it’s great that you’re doing it if you’re doing it for you but nothings going to change with her until she admits it to herself. Until she admits that she loves and wants only you” and that was something nobody could force, no matter what they did.
“Then I suppose I need to move on.” Except no one she’d ever met had come even close to making Bella’s heart quicken the way Caprica did. Except, perhaps Lulu, but she wasn’t an option without using spells. Old Bella might have.
Draco knew that would be a lot harder said than done but didn’t say anything as he was fairly sure his Aunt knew that as well. It was definitely not a situation he envied, and he felt very angry that Caprica was playing with his Aunt this way.
Bellatrix fell silent. It was a brooding sort of silence and lasted a few moments before her demeanor shifted. She shrugged her shoulders, lazily, like she had not a care in the world. “Would you like to know how to control someone?”
That was something Draco hadn’t expected to be asked but he had to admit there was part of him that was intrigued, “Really? You can do that?” he asked, his interest obvious.
“Yes, you can. It’s forbidden, and so should only be used under extreme circumstances. Or to do funny things.” She smiled, almost a little cruelly.
“Would they realize they’re being controlled?” he asked wonderingly.
"It's quite pleasant, being under the Imperius Curse. If you bungle it though, you can addle their brains. And you'll know, but you won't care."
Draco frowned at that, “That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing I should be learning” he said somewhat hesitantly, “I don’t wanna addle someones brain” he clarified.
“We’ll wait until you have some more skill, before we try that spell,” She assured him. “Perhaps we can work on occulmacy?”
Draco nodded, reassured. “Oh yes” he said, “I had that dream recently” he told her smiling.
“Good, then you’ll remember the important parts and we can get right to practice.” And without warning, Bellatrix tried to invade his mind.
While he wasn’t entirely prepared for it he did, thankfully, have the advantage of experiencing the dream very recently. So while he couldn’t block her completely he did manage to limit what she saw.
She tried to be somewhat polite, but she did see some interesting things. She pulled out and nodded her head. “Good. You’re not entirely useless!”
Draco laughed wryly, “Great, thanks” He didn’t want to know what she saw, it was probably better all round if he didn’t. Otherwise there was a good possibility he’d never be able to look her in the face again.
“Tell me something Draco. If someone wronged you, and I mean wronged you in a terrible, terrible way. What would you do?”
Draco shrugged, “I don’t know” he told her, “I mean, I guess if it was that terrible and I was that angry I could do anything. I’d want them to hurt as much as they hurt me, if not more” he admitted.
Bellatrix nodded. She understood that, and she lived it day by day. “You understand.”
“Who hurt you like that Aunt Bella?” he asked, something telling him this wasn’t about Caprica.
"It's not important," she replied, shaking her head. It was important. But she didn't want to talk about it, or boil down the complexities into simplistic statements. But she had been hurt.
“But it is” Draco told her, nobody deserved to be hurt and, as much as he didn’t always understand her, he did love his Aunt and didn’t want to see her suffering either. Not at the hands of someone else.
"Your grandfather," Bellatrix said, folding her arms and starting to pace.
“You’ve mentioned him before” Draco remembered, his concern showing, “What did he do?”
"Use your imagination, boy!" Bella snapped. "And I let him do it so he wouldn't do it to your mother and Andromeda!"
Draco felt numb as her words registered, his grandfather, Aunt Bella’s own father. The idea of it was horrific, beyond horrific. Dear god, how the hell had she lived with this? “You need to tell someone” he told her, “He needs to pay, he needs to suffer”
“Oh, he’ll pay, Draco. He’ll suffer, and he’ll pay. I’ve kept silent for too long.” Her eyes flashed, and she almost snarled. “I should have.”
“I know it doesn’t mean much but I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this alone” Draco told her, “You should talk to mom” he suggested, she might be able to help in a way that Draco couldn’t.
"No, it's better if she doesn't know. I've dropped hints but she's never expressed any desire to know more." She could tell her outright, but she'd rather her sister come to her. It made her feel... better.
"Some man of god."
Draco could only hope that his mom simply hadn’t understood but he had a feeling Bellatrix might be right and she simply wanted to bury her head in the sand.
“It’s all bullshit” Draco said simply and honestly, “Something to hide behind while getting away with such fucking evil” How could it not be? His grandfather wouldn’t be the first and definitely wouldn’t be the laugh. Religion was a joke and the ‘men of god’ were the worst. If he hadn’t already realised that this would definitely have shown him the truth.
"I've never had the heart to tell Caprica I stopped believing years ago," she replied, sounding subdued. "For all her hypocrisy, she really does believe."
Draco shook his head that was crazy, at least it was to him anyway. “Mom gave up a long time ago trying to make me and Pansy go to church” he told her, “Mostly cos it wasn’t worth the risk of us saying something wrong”
“Your mother could get away with it because she managed to forge her own bloody path. Me, I got stuck. And when I tried to quit she talked me into staying.”
“It’s not worth it Aunt Bella” he told her softly, “Not just to make somebody else happy” she’d done enough to protect Narcissa, she didn’t need to be miserable for her too.
Bellatrix furrowed her brow. "Draco, if something happened to your grandfather...."
“It would only be what he deserved” Draco finished for her.
A slow smile formed on Bellatrix’s face, and she nodded, slowly. Then she did something completely unexpected. She hugged him.
Draco was slightly taken aback when she hugged him but he brought his hands up to embrace her in return.
Maybe things would be all right. Oh, Bellatrix doubted it. But she could hope.