Montgomery Scott is a miracle worker (warp_speed) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-05-02 12:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, gaila, james kirk, montgomery scott |
'I'm NOT risking someone's life...'
Who: Kirk, Scotty, Gaila
What: Kirk and Scotty talk about womens for a lil while and then space venture a lot. Also mentioned, where in the world is Sulu and WTH is with the jailbait portion of the conversation, you twos?
When: Last night
Where: The Green Maid pub
Rating: PG13 for semi-frequent use of 'fuck buddy.' Thanks Kirk, you started it, you butthole.
Status: Complete! ;P
Jim walked into the Green Maid and ordered the house beer, then headed over to a booth to sit, and drink his beer.
About halfway through that beer, Scotty walked into the Green Maid and had a look around. He was looking for Gaila, to ask her a question about the computer and if she was going to boycott cooking dinner again. Which was fine - she was probably tired after dealing with the pub stuff - but he wanted to know in the event he had to go pick up more ramen noodles.
Don't worry, Gaila! He can follow the precise directions and make you some ramen noodles too! \o/
Instead of seeing her though, he caught sight of Kirk and immediately made his way over.
"...ullooo," he said rather amiably, sliding into the booth across from him and folding both hands on the table. "Long time no see, lad. Did ye bring yer hand-held toasting toy with you?"
Gaila would refuse the ramen noodles. She's been eating leftovers from work. Much healthier (only not.)
Jim waved a hand at Scott," Nope, was afraid you'd confiscate it."
"Yer right, I would. I utterly agree with Mr. Spock," was the unhesitant response. "I wouldnae mind taking a peek inside of it, either. I took the plasma torch apart and put it back together, worked perfectly fine. But it is yer toy, so that's up to you. Where have ye been lately, anyway? I havenae heard a peep out of anyone much, lately. Other than on the valar net."
Except Scotty didn't think it needed to be given to Uhura or Gaila, because they'd just shoot the boys with it.
Jim shrugged a shoulder, "Not up to much. got cockblocked pushed away by a friend, but I don't think it matters. Found a good fuck buddy at least."
Scotty just made a face at him, like if a mere look could give him a pat on the shoulder, it would've done just that.
"Right, a fuck buddy. That sounds pleasant, but I suppose ye dinnae need the strings really, after India lassie left."
"She has pink hair and she tastes like bubblegum." Jim toasted Pinkie, wherever she was and whoever she was with.
"More than I needed tae know." Scotty said with an eyedart, his nose wrinkling up a bit like eww. "Aye, I went that night she gave everyone an invite. It was okay, but I was having a rather bad night tae begin with. She seems rather..........spritely."
He didn't ask about the friend who pushed him away, but thought he'd probably hear about it at some point or other.
"That woman's energy is frightening. And awesome. Not unlike a freight train, so I understand where you come from with Gaila.
"Gaila isn't hyper all of the time, really. She dinnae like hyper either," he sagely replied. He knew that first hand. "She dunnae put up with it well."
"Trouble in paradise?"
"Already sorted. Let's just say that I couldnae see her watching over a two year old on a sugar high," Scotty replied while waving one hand, like it wasn't a bit deal. "I'm also not the one sitting in the pub, by meself. Uhh...I meant that I'm not goin' tae pry."
"What paradise?" Jim laughed, "I wasn't in one to begin with."
"Well, ye know, seemed like you might be happy with...." Scotty started to wince after an awkward pause. "Ye seem like you can barrel through most things or scrape by, laddie, bruised a bit but undaunted. Aye. I dinnae know what I'm saying. I'm goin' tae raise this hand up and hope someone sees that I'm flagging for a drink, posthaste."
"Just feel like I ruined a friendship." He shrugged a shoulder.
"How's that?" Scotty said with one arm raised up high, his hand flapping around like a flag of drink deprived distress. "Did ye say something rude tae that Spock person? I hope it wasnae about his mum again. Dinnae be an arse, Kirk."
Jim laughed, "Not Spock. Her name's Janice."
Scotty's hand stopped in mid-flap wag, and he stared at Kirk like he'd just sprouted sucker cup antennas from his forehead and his skin had turned blue.
"...this wasnae another of yer fuck buddies, is it?" he finally asked, though with a fair amount of hesitation. There was only so much that Scotty needed to know about Kirk's sexy escapades. After all, he had a green 'pirate queen' girlfriend who had a week long orgy while waiting for a tow in outer space. Apparently. Shit just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
"Haven't had sex with her. Hadn't intended to pursue it." He eyed Scotty like daring him to be surprised that yes, Jim Kirk could have a nonsexy lady friend, "We actually stopped before we got anywhere. But I'm worried I took harmless flirting a bit too far."
"...." Scotty still had one arm raised, but his head was turned off to one side and he was giving Kirk an askew staring at, as though the man was terribly ill. Then, as though he hadn't missed a beat even with the pause, "She must be hideous. Did the bag slip aff her head at a bad time?"
That said, Scotty started laughing. Hard.
Because, no, he doesn't believe that. At all.
Jim flipped open his phone and showed a (safe for work) picture of her, "Stunning really. Adorable. But I like her more for her personality." He shrugged a shoulder, "Doesn't stop me from flirting, but I didn't expect to get anywhere."
"Oh." Well that shut him up, but now he's staring at Kirk with a fair amount of speculation. "So she's smart enough not tae get involved with the likes of you, ye scoundrel."
He was joking. Mostly. Sort of.
"Well, I mean,” Scotty began to clarify, “if ye told her ye had a fuck buddy, I'm sure that'd go over about as good as if I'd told Gaila that on day one. All right, no, Gaila wouldae offered tae join in, but she's also got this weird jealous streak. I hope she's not behind me listening tae this...."
Scotty peeked over one shoulder to make sure there was no green ladies anywhere nearby.
"Yeah, she's really smart. I was trying to get her involved in the project because her powers of organization are astonishing. You see how she helped your girlfriend, right?" He gestured around the bar, "I didn't mention the fuck buddy."
"Oh, it's that lass. Aye. Well, cheers for ruining it with the organizer? I'm sure we'll get by." He paused and eye-darted. "I'm really the only one working on it anyway, besides that Chekov lad who popped in, and aye, it's the same one in the dreams. Oh, and you having things dropped by for me tae use which is helping. Gaila's been busy with the pub so there's the programmer gone...but she likes the pub and it looks...cleaner...at least. I really need a drink."
He started waving both hands, and then motioned to Kirk with an index finger to wait one moment, because he was walking off toward the bar to basically get himself something to drink if he had to. After all, he hadn’t had a drop of anything since his leg had healed and he’d been on a building spree.
The bartender had a drink waiting, "Sorry, its really busy."
"I can tell," he said and paid for the drink before heading back to the table and sitting down. "All right, better now. I dinnae think ye should let it bother you then, since it's only some organizer ye werenae interested in anyway. There's other organizational sorts out there and I think things are goin' just fine without. But knowing you, ye might go trying tae crawl up her nose for answers. It's apparently useless telling you no, dinnae do that."
Or so Scotty had gathered.
"I liked her as a friend." Jim shook his head, "She texted me out of nowhere and said she quit, and wouldn't say why."
"Well ye must have done something, then." Scotty only shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe ye did cross the line with the flirting? I like you, laddie, but ye seem tae have problems when it comes tae boundaries with people. You like tae nudge a bit. Danger in that is that ye could offend someone, even if it's simply the way you are. Or, ye know, maybe she didnae want tae stop. Maybe she did? It's a lass. They're practically beyond rocket science tae figure out what's gone wrong with them, over eighty percent of the time."
Quoted for truth.
"She was the one pushing me me onto the bed," Jim pointed out. "But she also...I think she would have been pissed at herself after. I want her without that part."
"Och, then it got complicated," Scotty said with a scrunched up face, before taking a drink. "Did ye say that?"
"Yes. Well sort of. That we should stop, but she was pulling back at the same time."
"Isnae that sort of like sayin' no, yerself? Look, I dunno. I have enough troubles with Gaila, but we seem tae sort things out faster and faster each time. I dinnae like letting things drag on. I stew, it festers, and it's simply not good with me temperament if it dinnae get resolved." Scotty's fingers drummed over the side of the pint glass, like he was thinking quickly along with the beat. "I guess, if ye think it's really worth it, it couldnae hurt tae try and find out what's gone wrong. Explain it a wee bit."
"You think I should call her?" At least she hadn't run off!
"I dinnae know." Scotty shook his head. He didn't know the girl and so didn't know if that would work or not. To his thinking, what worked for one girl wouldn't work for another, as far as troubleshooting guides went. "If you think ye should, then...I guess that's yer call?"
"I don't think I should, not yet. Its not like we were dating." Jim took a drink, "Besides, we might go into space and never come back." He'd like that.
The Scotsman pressed his lips into a thin line and looked thinky in the extreme.
"If it's goin' tae bother you then aye, ye should call or ask for a reason. Put it tae rest. Otherwise, if it's simply not worth it tae you, don't bother and let the whole thing go. No harm in that. Because we might end up in pieces if things go wrong. And there is a whole fat lot of things that can go terribly, terribly wrong."
"Educate me, Mr. Scott." He leaned forward, at the moment all Captain.
"About which thing? Ye want the friend problem or the actual things that can go wrong, problem?"
"Boom."
"Well, ye just answered yer question. There's boom. And, ye know," he leaned forward too and his voice was a low confidential whisper, "if I could get me hands on some dilithium crystals, which aye, is what I need tae make this entire mess run? There's still radiation leaks, mix could go bad or out of ratio, overheating, breaking up in reentry, oxygen leak, fire, somehow going off course. And if I get this thing tae bounce us forward through space like I think it should work? Then there's nothing tae stop us from crashing intae things, because there's no shielding. Cracks, holes, decompression, solar flares. Ye know, standard things."
Scotty toasted Kirk with his glass of whisky and took a very, very long drink. Because they'd probably need to be drunk to even get out of the atmosphere.
"Do we have any means of containing those scenarios?" He pulled out a piece of paper. None of his dreams could help, he thought, but maybe if he had them again and had an idea he could find links.
"Not yet," he reluctantly admitted. "I mean there's some things, aye, I can handle on the fly. But in this day and age, it's basically the same as if something went wrong with a space shuttle or the likes. Ye got really only one choice. Start bending over and kissing yer arse goodbye."
"Assuming we have a chance to even bend over," Kirk replied with a laugh. "Okay. I think our first test should have only one person on it, and it should be me."
"Yer not a pilot," Scotty rather judiciously pointed out. "I'd probably be able tae fly it before you would."
"I'm not risking your life, or anyone else's. I'll learn."
"Barring the fuel, laddie? I could be done as soon as next week." He was not lying. Scotty worked at breakneck speed. "Ye dinnae have time tae learn. It's tae bad Sulu went quiet. I think ye scared him away."
"Sorry?"
"Ye seem tae be doin' that a whole lot, dinnae yeeeeeew?"
Kirk's hand twitched, and he gripped his mug tighter, but otherwise there was no obvious outward sign of agitation, " I suppose I do."
He was only teasing of course. No harm intended. He was even grinning like it was no big deal, only a joke.
"Even if Sulu were around, I wouldn't let him go up on the first flight." He tapped a finger on the table, "I'm NOT risking someone's life when I can risk my own."
Period. End of story.
"I disagree," Scotty said. In Chief Engineer 'Ye cannae do that' mode. This was his domain of expertise after all. "Ye dinnae know what it's capable of. You'd also run more of a risk of it bein' a failure, Cap'n, than a real test would be, with someone at the controls that knows what they're doin'. Ye might deem yerself the leader, but a good leader at least listens tae advice. Tae many things could go wrong, and ye may not know how or when tae compensate."
He toasted which his glass and downed the rest of the whisky in one go. Like that? Was that.
Go on, Kirk. Bring it. Try to argue with your chief engineer.
"Then remote control it."
"Could do that, but it's not really a real test, and that'd take longer tae complete. I'd say..." Scotty rolled his eyes so he was staring up at the ceiling and silently counting, with his lips moving. "An additional week at least tae fully program and wire in the remote controls, and that's after finding the fuel source. The point is though, we cannae get aff the ground without these dilithium crystals. It will not run. We've got no power tae mix and make it move."
"I'll get the equipment for a remote, your girlfriend can program it." He wasn't prepared to let anyone else take the risk for him, and if Scotty wouldn't let him? Then no one takes the risk until they ALL do.
"The girlfriend might not have the time, but I'll ask her. If all else fails, I think that Chekov lad's got a good head for numbers an' things, so I could ask him tae help with wiring things through. Make it go faster."
"Do it."
"Aye, I'll ask him. But ye know, it might be worth it tae try tae get ahold of Sulu again. Maybe ye need tae buy him a fruit basket or the likes."
Kirk stared at him, "I'm not buying a fruit basket. Maybe a gigolo..."
"Would he like that? Oh wait, he might."
"He could use a date?"
"He could. It might do him some good. Or make things complicated. Really, we're not the best choices tae be setting up anyone."
Jim leaned forward, "What about that kid you found? Chekov?"
"Aye, wee laddie who was on the bridge during yer fight. He's really young, even now. Bloody brilliant though. Russian numbercruncher."
"Could hook him up with Sulu."
"I thought the wee lad had a girlfriend though? I think he's also...ye know...not legal?" Scotty just eyedarted and coughed out the word 'jailbait' under his breath, like ‘hellooooooo?’
"For how much longer?" Jim laughed, "Seventeen isn't that bad. How old is Sulu again? Like twenty-one? Pffft."
"I dinnae, I havenae gotten tae that all important conversational point. Oh, hey, how old are ye? For how long? Because I know a closeted up lad who's drinking age, who has a brilliant ferret and a garden inside his flat. Hope yer not allergic! Here's yer lube."
Scotty just stared across the Kirk like that was retardiated, even if he was smirking at the same time.
Jim just grinned at him, "Exactly like that."
"Oh brilliant. Well done. I vote that since ye wanted tae be the captain? You get aff yer arse and start that discussion with young Chekov. Aye. Have at it."
"Gee thanks."
"Happy tae help!"
Gaila came over then, and plopped down in Scotty's lap, "Hey, what's up?"
That got an immediate smile and one arm looped around her waist. "Oh, talking about death and destruction. Do ye think ye can rig up a remote control system tae test the ship?"
Gaila nuzzles his neck, "Easy."
"Yay, that's good. I know you can do a really good job with it," he said, his voice softening down a smidge and a growing smile on his face.
"Mm.." She shifted in his lap, like the evil woman she was.
Ok, that was really evil, but oh so nice at the same time. Scotty's smile turned into a playful grin. "Maybe you can help me with the wiring."
If wiring was a codeword for other things. Sorry Kirk.
Jim raised an eyebrow, "If that's not codeword for something else I'll be disappoint."
Scotty just gave Kirk a thumbs up and a wink that was so not covert at all.
Gaila kissed Scotty. With tongue.
Scotty reciprocated quite happily, thank you, and was still all thumbs up and everything. Get a room, you two.
Jim leaned back, "50 bucks says you can't manage to sneak sex in that booth over there."
The kiss was broken. "We're not having sex in public, ye pervert." ...at least not in the pub, he means.
Gaila pouted, "But honey..."
"Not in the pub," Scotty whispered, and looked around because, like, people and stuff. "C'mon."
Gaila unleashed the sexy bedroom eyes!
Scotty tried to have willpower and resistance against eyes of bedroomness and shook his head like NO, SORRY LASS, U CANNAE HAS.
Gaila slooowly ground her hips.
NO! HE MUST RESIST. Scotty looked ready to sweat bullets, and his ears were turning a rather flattering shade of 'not in front of Kirk, dear!' pink.
Jim got up, "I'll leave you two alone." He grinned at them and headed out!
"Hope ye get things sorted with yer friend!" Scotty called out before Kirk was out of earshot, and then gave Gaila a sheepish grin, because she's so naughty.
Gaila whispered in his ear, something very, very naughty.
Does a Scotsman giggle? Because it sounded like he got pretty close to it.