One date. It was more of a pity thing anyway, I think.
Who: Carol and Jessica What: Meeting for lunch and catching up When: A few days ago Where: Their favorite place Status: complete Rating: Pg-13 for UST and talking about Jessica and Kirk
Carol spent far too long trying to find something to wear. It was just hanging out with a friend. Sure, they’d been through hell together. Jessica’s recovery from cancer and her own recovery from the crash, but it was just hanging out.
Still, she wanted to not look like she just spent two months in Alaska flying in rough weather. So a shower and wardrobe change was in order.
Finally, she arrived at Jessica’s place, smartly dressed and smelling like roses, hair hanging loosely down her back.
Jessica was very happy to see Carol, and very excited to see her. It had been ages since she’d laid eyes on the other woman. Even if maybe this wasn’t the ideal way to meet back up, she was still glad. Ideally they’d both be healthy and it would just happen.
In any case, she had showered and gotten changed and waited for Carol to come pick her up like she said she would. Once there was a knock at the door, she went to answer.
“Hey,” she greeted. “You look great.”
"Thanks," she replied. Carol leaned in, hugging Jess, then pulled back to look her over. "You look good too. You always look to die for. Ready to go?"
The pilot was looking forward to reconnecting with her friend. Two months was a long time, and she was in the mood to have some fun. She hoped she could drag Jess out for longer than it took to eat. Sometimes her friend could be a bit of a shut in.
That wasn't generally Carol's fault. Except for the time she'd inadvertantly sabotaged one of Jessica's dates. The man had been a jerk anyhow.
Jess gave Carol a tight hug and then grinned at her. If anyone could actually make Jess not so grumpy and miserable, it was Carol. That was why she was one of her best friends. Or possibly her only friend to be honest.
“Oh hush, I do not. Yeah I’m ready, let me just get my coat.” Which she went to do, grabbing it and tugging it on. Two months was a long time. She was definitely ready to have fun. All she ever did was sit in her lab and work. She never went out, she never had any fun. Carol really had to drag her out and make her have fun.
No, it was all Jessica’s fault. And that guy had been a jerk. Still, it wasn’t like Jess got asked out all that often either. “Okay ready!” she announced, locking the door behind her so they could head out. “I’m starving.”
Carol nodded, putting a hand against Jessica's back to guide her towards the car. She always felt a little protective of the woman. "You look like you need to put on weight. Have you been forgetting to eat, cooped up all day?"
She turned her head, flashing Jess a teasing grin. "I missed you. I obviously need to be around more often, you don't have any fun without me."
Her eyebrows raised at the mollycoddling. “I don’t need to put on weight,” she protested, pouting slightly. “I might forget to eat once in a while. But it’s not that bad.” It didn’t make her too skinny or in trouble or anything. She just really had to remember more to do that whole eating thing.
The pout turned into a smile, and she climbed into the card. “You have no idea. I never have any fun. I just work. Work is my life.” And have a lot of weird dreams, but that was besides the point.
The pout managed to work. "Okay it's not that bad."
Carol shook her head, then slipped into the car. She buckled up, and then started to drive. She kept one eye on the road and the other on Jessica. "Obviously we need to fix that. Work is important, but so is having a life. It's decided then. After we eat we're going to do something fun."
She reached over, squeezing Jessica's hand. "Trust me?"
“I want to eat, it’s not like I don’t want to eat and thus I’m turning into some anorexic thing. I don’t think I’m fat or anything. I just.. forget.” Jess shrugged a little. She was all for having Carol drive instead of her. Even though she’d been in America for a while, driving was still a bit of a pain.
She sighed a little, and squeezed Carol’s hand in return. “I trust you, I just don’t think having a life is all it’s cracked up to be.”
"It doesn't have to be a constant thing. But getting out can only do us both some good. I don't think you're anorexic or anything. But I do worry that you forget too much." She tapped her temple. "For all your smarts I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot to breathe some days."
Carol's teasing was light and good natured. Too much time in the Air Force had made it hard for her not to rib someone she cared about.
Her thumb brushed lightly over Jess's knuckles, before she pulled her hand away to put it on the steering wheel.
"Any progress in your research?"
Well as long as it wasn’t a constant thing, Jess thought that she could deal with it. “Yeah I have a reminder on my phone now. It beeps and gets obnoxious if I don’t eat. It’s helping quite a bit.” Which she was thankful for. Maybe it would get better. “I’m kind of surprise I haven’t forgotten to breathe too,” she confessed a bit sheepishly.
Oh she knew that Carol was kidding and teasing her. It did some good though, maybe she wouldn’t forget, now that Carol was here to keep teasing her.
She tried very hard not to blush when she felt Carol’s hand brush up against hers. “A bit, actually. We’re doing some tests, and we’re very hopeful. We won’t know for another week or two though.”
"If your phone doesn't do it, maybe I'll have to." She grinned at Jess, turning towards the cafe that was their usual haunt. Her favorite parking space was open even, which she took for a good sign.
"That's great! You've made a lot of progress. Maybe I should have stayed in Alaska."
Carol parked, and shut the engine off, turning to look at her friend. She took her embarrassment to be about the research, and not any skin contact. Even as she fought a strange urge to brush at Jess's hair.
Laughing at Carol, Jessica shook her head in amusement. “You probably could call me every lunch hour and remind me to work. I’d be grateful.” That seemed easier than trying to remember to turn the phone on so that she could be reminded anyway.
She hadn’t been to this cafe since Carol had left, maybe that was a sign. “Yeah it’s good. But I don’t think you should have stayed. I like you right here with me.”
"And subject you to my harping? You've got guts, lady." Carol opened her door, and got out of the car. She felt her face growing warm, though she couldn't really place why. That had just been nice to hear. That was all.
"Well, I suppose you've got me then." Carol waited for Jess to get out, stuffing her hands in her pockets for lack of something to do with them. She was glad to be back, but she felt fidgety, and a little confused.
“Well, it’s either that or forgetting to actually eat some more, so you know. I’m willing to put up with it.” She followed out of the car and stretched a bit. Her stomach growled loudly. It was possible that she had forgotten to eat today too. Ah well. At least she was going to eat now.
She smiled over at Carol and then headed inside the cafe with her friend. It was really nice to be back actually. With her. Going up to the counter, she ordered her food and then let Carol order. Though she always got the same thing anyway.
A grin crossed Carol's face at the growling stomach. She rested her hands behind her back, ordering the same thing she usually did. The woman behind the counter recognized her, and even remembered the extras Carol and Jessica usually wanted with their food.
Carol picked out a seat with a view of the cafe while they waited on their order, and slipped into it, taking her jacket off.
"Feels like we haven't been here together in years. But it's only been months. I don't think I've ever been here without my bestie."
That was when you knew you came to a place too often. The people already knew what you wanted when you walked in. It was nice. She slipped into her seat across from Carol and settled back once she got her coat off.
“Yeah, it does feel like it’s been forever. Me either. I never come here unless it’s with you.” It felt too weird not to.” Their drinks were brought over, which she thanked the waitress for and mm’d a bit. “It’s nice to be back though. I missed it.”
It was nice, but also a little sad. Carol grinned. She picked up her drink and tasted it. It had a sort of fruity flavor, and was a little tangy. It hit the spot. "They'd probably think I was sick or dead if you came in alone."
She'd never even come here on dates. It remained their place, and she preferred to not let any outsiders into it.
"Have I missed much while I was gone? I was never onto the network all that much but it seems to be really active. Is that Stark guy still being crazy?"
Her stomach growled loudly again, and Jess hoped that the food would be out very soon. “Probably. Let’s not.. think like that, shall we? We’re both healthy and not at all dead.” And she definitely wasn’t coming in alone. She just didn’t have any desire to. Exactly. It was theirs.
“Not .. really? Yeah he’s still being crazy. I went to one of his balls with this bloke and we.. well we had a decent time, and then found out he was dating someone else at the same time. Figures, right? So.. right back to work.” No more of that for her.
For Jessica's sake, the food arrived. Carol smiled, and nodded her head. Talking about death and sickness, actually, was probably not the best idea for either of them. One of her greatest fears was for Jessica to relapse. More so than she herself getting sick.
She blinked. "He was dating someone else at the same time he was taking you out? What a dickbag." Anger crept into Carol's voice. "Are his balls still attached or do I need to take care of that for you?"
Oh thank god. Food. As soon as it was in front of her, Jessica was scarfing it down. She always kept a positive attitude about getting sick. If she didn’t, then she knew that she’d fall into some kind of depression. It wasn’t something she liked thinking about. Who would? She’d be fine this time. No more cancer.
“Well not .. dating? I mean .. I’m not even sure what it was. One date. It was more of a pity thing anyway, I think.” She shrugged a little. “He’s not worth it, Carol. Honestly. He’s happy and figured it all out or .. something. I’m not mad or anything. But it’s the only action I’ve had in .. forever.”
If she did, Carol would be there to support her, give her backrubs, whatever she needed. Wait, why backrubs?
"You're better than a pity date, Jessica! You're smart, funny, dedicated, and drop dead sexy. If anything, the pity date was for ...action? Oh."
If Jess ever got sick again, she knew that Carol would be the one person who wouldn’t abandon her. Cancer made people feel a little weird after all. Still she knew that her friend would stick by her.
She laughed a little, since her face was stuffed with food. “Yeah. I wasn’t planning on it. It just kind of happened. I don’t know. I just needed unwinding. I got it. Now it’s over.”
"Unwinding, right..." Carol stuffed her face with food, rather than think about how that made her feel. Weird wasn't the proper word for it. Annoyed maybe. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had unwinding time. Before she got shot down, she thought. Four years ago, maybe. No, five. She'd known Jessica nearly that long.
She didn't like to consider herself vain, but she'd rather no one see the scars.
That had to be why it annoyed her! "Sounds depressing."
Before that one night, it had been just about as long for her as well. Though it wasn’t because of scars, mostly Jess just had a hard time relating that way with anyone. She thought Carol might be a little.. off-put by what she had to say, but she wasn’t sure if she should bring it up. And for the record, Jessica would never care about her scars.
“I suppose. I mean it was a little depressing.” She shrugged as if it didn’t matter and continued to eat. “It wasn’t the highlight of my life or anything.” No offense to the guy she’d slept with.
"That's..really kind of.." Carol frowned, looking down at her plate. "Sad. There should be a connection when you do that. Even if only for a night. Not that I can really remember the last connection I made. But that was years ago, this was a lot more recent!"
She wished they could both have that connection. Jessica more than herself.
Jess wasn’t sure that she saw it that way. “Well you know, I guess after a while, anything is better than using your y’know.. vibrator. Sometimes it’s just good to have fun. Not worry about it.” She didn’t think any of her ideals were about having it to mean something if she had sex with someone. “And what’s done is done. Can’t go back and fix it. Only move forward.”
Not to mention that Jess and commitment didn’t exactly go hand in hand.
"I guess replacing batteries is a lot simpler than trying to deal with someone," Carol acknowledged, wondering how they had come to talking about sex toys. It was better than wondering at what flashed across her mind's eye for far too many seconds.
Had all of her encounters been so meh that they were forgettable too?
"You know I have your back," She said, voice slightly muffled from behind her glass.
“That it most certainly is. Though it’s not quite the same feeling.” Obviously. She didn’t know how they’d come to talk about sex toys either. Jess wasn’t all that big on sharing about her sex life. Except until recently, she didn’t even have one. Though now that they were talking about it, it wasn’t that bad.
Sleeping with guys usually was a bit meh for her.
“I know. And I’ve always got your back too. Always.”
Carol was generally oblivious to Jessica's sexuality. It had simply never occurred to her that that was even an option. Sure, she'd known gay people, but that didn't mean she thought about it in relation to herself. Or even Jessica. Though it would certainly explain some things.
"I'd have to agree with you on the feeling...though to be honest, now that I think about it, I can barely remember the last guy's name. John or Jim or something like that. Corker? Kirk?"
She shrugged a shoulder. It didn't matter.
“Yeah.. Kirk. That was it.” Though his first name? Jess would have to try harder than that to figure it out. Maybe she’d talk to him again sometime on the internet. That was where she generally spent most of her time lately anyway. Didn’t most people? “Next time I go and have a one night stand, I’ll try to remember the guy’s name,” she teased lightly.
The last of her sandwich gone, she wiped her mouth and sat back. “Now that you’re back, we need to really catch up. Go out, do something so I’m not stuck inside at work all the time.”
"...seriously?" Carol nearly choked on her drink. She hoped she was wrong, in remembering the name of the last man she was with. If it was Jim Kirk, she might just have a cow. A cow, it would be had, because she'd feel royally used. Even if it was five or six years ago. It was the principle of the matter.
She put that out of her mind. "Where would you like to go? Or do? I'm game for anything."
“Yeah.. seriously.. why?” Clearly something was going on. Something she hadn’t really remembered, or possibly that she’d just not paid any attention to. “Do you know him?” Oh well this was royally awkward beyond all royally awkward things. Apparently there weren’t things she could just forget.
“I don’t know. Movies? Shows? Joyriding?” Wherever. As long as she was with Carol.
"I'm kind of hoping that it's a different Jim that I'm thinking of," Carol admitted, a little sheepishly. You slept with all of someone's partners, right? That was the saying?
"Movie might be fun, so would joyriding. Hey, I could take you up in the plane! Ultimate joyride!" She grinned, straightening. Flying was her absolute favorite thing, and taking Jess up, and it was just the two of them, with the earth below had always been something of a joy to her.
Jess gave a knowing kind of ahh. Well that was weird. Huh. It didn’t matter so much to her, but it was a little weird, yeah. She would have rather slept with Carol than Jim, but hey. Sometimes you didn’t get what you wanted. “Fair enough,” was all she said.
“In the plane? Oh boy.. well sure, I guess so. I might need a drink or two first.” And maybe some gentle pushing about getting up in the plane in the first place. Not that she was scared of heights or anything, but well, it always took some pushing on Carol’s part.
Carol's brain was probably not yet ready for who Jessica wanted to sleep with. She'd thus far been oblivious, just enjoying the other woman's company whenever she could. It was hard not to. She had been like finding a small piece of herself at a time when she'd felt lost.
"I've only ever crashed once," Carol insisted. "and that was because of a rocket. Sure, there was that one time, but that was more of a hard landing, and you weren't even in the plane. Do I have to handcuff you to the seat?"
It generally wasn’t a good idea to think about the people your best friend was sleeping with in the first place. Forgetting the whole thing was just fine in her book. “I know, I’m only kidding. You might have to handcuff me though. I’m not worrying about you crashing.. I trust you. It’s just..” She didn’t even know what it was.
“Okay, you can take me up in the plane and I won’t complain. I’m being a bit of a sissy, I guess.”
Carol reached over and squeezed her hand. "We'll find a good time. Too late today. I don't mind a night flight, but I'm still a little wiped."
She didn't move her hand, after placing it on Jessica's. The physical contact was oddly comforting. "It'll be good. Then we'll do anything that you want to do. Deal?"
Oh. That was nice. Jess squeezed her hand back and smiled. “Of course. Any time we’re both free.” And she could get away from the lab. That part was where she might have to be forced. She had every faith in Carol to do just that though.
The feel of Carol’s hand on hers was nice, so she didn’t move her hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal. Sounds like fun. Terrifying fun.”