Kasumi Goto has more to talk about! (shipseveryone) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-11-26 21:41:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, kasumi goto, wrex |
Who: Kasumi and Wrex
What: Working things out
When: Black Friday
Where: Joeyray's
Warnings: Very tame references to sex
Joeyray's had been open on Thanksgiving. Kasumi hadn't spent a holiday with her parents in nearly ten years. She could've inserted herself into Shepard's Thanksgiving, but she didn't feel much like celebrating. She was still feeling depressed over losing Wrex, and it really wouldn't be fair to bring that around Alma. Kasumi had stopped by Tony Stark's party for some turkey early in the day, but by five, she was at Joeyray's.
Yesterday, it had been a smaller crowd than usual. Some of her regulars had family they spent the evening with, and the ones who were there had been quiet and less than 'thankful'.
Tonight was a different story, though. Several of the evening's patrons had spent the day working in retail or food service, and in serious need of a stiff drink after the madness of Black Friday. It was a topic being discussed at several tables, by shoppers and retail workers alike. Tonight was much more energetic and noisy.
Kasumi had received Wrex's text earlier, but she was holding off on answering. It wasn't that she didn't know what to say; 'Hey' was easy enough to answer. She was just afraid of what his next reply would be. She was still emotionally raw, and didn't have the first clue of how to approach this conversation. After all, she'd never really 'broken up' with anyone before.
Even though he said he'd be back Saturday, Wrex had gotten back in time for Black Friday. There were few days that bothered Wrex more than that. All these people fighting over petty things, when there were those all around them, invisible, who wanted. And those who were stupid enough to throw good things away.
Kasumi had been a good thing. It had been stupid, and reckless, and hell, he hadn't known what he'd been thinking. He hadn't wanted to hurt her.
It made him angry. But he'd been getting angry a lot lately. That had worried him. But even in the dreams he'd never brought violence against those that didn't deserve it. Still....
When several hours had passed and he hadn't gotten any reply from Kasumi, he hadn't gotten angry. He'd gotten sad. It was a feeling human Wrex was accustomed to, and even Krogan Wrex had his sad moments. When he was alone.
He was alone right now, and he didn't like it. Kasumi, like Alma, deserved an apology in person. He got into his car, and headed to the bar.
Kasumi hadn't blamed Wrex, not really. They had been on different pages. Maybe they should have tried harder to work it out, but that wasn't just Wrex's fault. Kasumi had been equally stupid in that area. At least Wrex was reaching out to her. She couldn't even manage that.
Working was a good distraction for Kasumi. They kept her busy, especially tonight.
Wrex walked into the bar. It was difficult for him to actively sneak in. He was a tall man and not known for being subtle, so when he walked in, it was all he could do not to stomp his frustration.
It was busier than he had expected. This was a bad idea. He should leave. With his luck some of the regulars might decide to defend Kasumi's honor.
Since Kasumi was attacked, one of the regulars, Brick, had started working as a bouncer when Jimmy wasn't around. It worked out well, and made her feel safer.
It didn't take long for Kasumi to spot Wrex. She was surprised, and her shoulders stiffened a little. Apparently she couldn't avoid this forever. "What can I get you?" she asked, trying to remain casual. Brick crossed his arms across his chest. He might've been the only man in the room taller than Wrex, and he didn't look pleased.
Wrex spared Brick an appraising glance, then looked at Kasumi. It took him a moment to speak, because she somehow looked a lot prettier than the last time he'd seen her.
"I'm an idiot," he blurted. "Uh."
Rubbing his face, Wrex finished. "Whiskey, straight up. You can spit in it if you want. I deserve it."
Brick was a man of few words. He was glowering at Wrex, his jaw clenched. Nobody really knew all of the details of what happened between Wrex and Kasumi, but Brick didn't like how sad Kasumi had been. "You might wanna go," Brick's low voice rumbled.
"Brick, don't. It's okay," Kasumi said. She didn't want people to feel like there were sides that needed to be taken. Brick took a step back, but still seemed tense. He'd heard her, but the exchange had been between a bartender and her bouncer. His concern wasn't work-related, though. When Kasumi put a hand on his arm and repeated "Brick," softer, she was speaking as a friend, and he listened. The man walked away, giving them some space.
Kasumi looked back up at Wrex, grabbing a bottle of whiskey. "You weren't an idiot," she told him. Not any more than she was, anyway.
Wrex felt the hairs on the back of his neck bristle. He wouldn't have backed down from a fight, but Kasumi had managed to soothe Brick somewhat. That was probably good for the state of the bar. He'd almost been looking forward to it. Even if wrecking the place probably wouldn't go over well with the girl.
"No, I was. A great big thick-headed idiot." This was going swell. He really did need that drink. It would help spiting out something Wrex rarely said.
Softly, he finished. "I'm sorry."
Kasumi slid the whiskey in front of him, frowning as he spoke. She wanted to dart off with the excuse that she had drinks to refill. But that was where this all had gone wrong in the first place, wasn't it?
She shook her head. "You don't have to apologize. I retreated, too, in my own way." She hadn't physically left, but the greybox.. Damnit. She shook her head. "We just both suck at the whole 'relationship' thing."
"Yeah. Wish I had some excuse, but I don't. " Wrex picked up the drink, staring down into the brown liquid, before knocking half of it back. "Can still count on one hand the number of relationships I've had, none of them successful."
Setting the glass down, Wrex looked directly at her. This was harder to do than he thought it would be. He could see how he'd hurt her and he was pissed at himself for it.
"Wish I could...fix it. Just take a tool and whack at it until it's in straight and working."
His lips thinned out a bit and he snorted. "Yeah, that metaphor makes no sense."
Kasumi couldn't help smirking. "That's what she said." She chuckled, shaking her head. She was a little surprised he still made her laugh, even today. Even if it was just over how ridiculous he was. That was what she l--iked about him.
She really did need to work, though. "Stay," she told him before making the rounds to refill drinks. She really hoped he would listen.
It made Wrex grin for a moment. That he'd made her laugh. It wasn't fixed by any means, but maybe they could at least talk without hurting each other. That was something, at least. What would Shepard do?
Actually, thinking about what Shepard would do made him flustered, so he just took his drink and nursed it. And he stayed, ignoring any eyes on him.
There were a handful of men in the bar that would have considered messing with Wrex if they thought he'd hurt Kasumi. There were a few glares when he first walked in, but when Brick backed off, the others recognized that as a signal for them to stand down, too. They may have been a drunken ragtag crew of bikers and vets, but they could follow cues. If Kasumi wasn't safe, there were few things in this world that would make Brick leave her alone.
Kasumi took a few moments to collect her thoughts while she was refilling drinks. So Wrex was here to apologize... But for what, exactly? For leaving? You don't really apologize to your ex--if that's what she was--for leaving town. For overreacting when she'd said what she did? Did he think it was an overreaction, now? For 'making moves' on her when she was still partially hung up on Keiji? It's not as if she wasn't making moves, too. There had been plenty of moving from both of them.
By the time she got back to the bar, Kasumi's head was hurting. "Hey." He was still here. That was progress, at least. "Need another?"
"Hey," he replied, nodding his head. "Yeah, I could use another." What was he here for? To apologize for leaving, maybe. Because of how he'd left and how quickly it had happened. And maybe he'd overreacted a little. He hadn't liked the thought that she'd been hung up on Keiji when they'd been..well...'cupcakes'.
It was a personal pride issue. He just wished he knew how to proceed from this point. If there was any proceeding to be had.
So he was just sorry. For how everything had turned out.
Talking to women was easier when you were a Krogan. Oh, who was he kidding, women were a mystery no matter the species.
Kasumi poured him another, gnawing on her lower lip. She really didn't mean to make things difficult for him. There was far too much subtlety and face-saving going on, which usually didn't sit well with Kasumi. It took too much energy. She generally preferred to be straightforward, and let the chips fall where they may.
"Wrex, if we're gonna give this another try, we need to sit down and have a talk. Probably not here."
"Wasn't sure there was a chance to give things another try," he replied, looking down into his drink. He didn't like subtlety. He liked straightforward. He liked it when Kasumi was straightforward.
"Wasn't sure I deserved a chance." He looked up at her, finding her eyes with his. "Hell, Kasumi, I never got what you saw in me in the first place. I'm old. And scarred. And grumpy. And a turtle man."
If there was a god, please, he didn't want to turn into a turtle man.
She smiled a bit. "Well, if you get all turtle-y, we might have to re-evaluate things." She probably should say something nice about liking him for his mind and his heart, but she was a big fan of his body, too. And she didn't have the first clue what she would do with a quad.
"You weren't the only one in the wrong, Wrex. Things just got skittish and weird." She sighed, feeling sad and vulnerable. The stupid dreams held a lot of the blame, in Kasumi's opinion. Keiji hadn't been an issue before she started having all of these dreams about him, and the greybox. "It's nothing that we can't work through." She shrugged. "If we both want to."
There were a lot of things you could do with a quad, if certain kinds of extranet vids were to be believed. There was even a whole series with Krogan and Shepard's VI. Rule34 existed even in the future.
"Maybe we ought to start with talking in a place that isn't filled with people that want to take your hurt out on my hide." Wrex glanced around, tasting his drink as he did so. "I'd like to get past the weird."
Kasumi smiled a bit. "You don't have to worry about them." They wouldn't do anything she didn't want them to. He was right, though. "You could come over after close." That was probably awkward, but she really did want some privacy to talk to him. And she felt perfectly safe with him; she didn't have any worries about taking him home. If anything, she was worried about keeping herself in check.
God, she'd missed him.
Damn that smile of hers. It made him feel a little wobbly. He'd forgotten what that kind of thing felt like until he'd met her.
"I'm not technically back until tomorrow, so that works out."
He knocked back his drink, thinking that was enough whiskey for now. It took a lot more than that to make him incoherent but he really did not need his inhibitions lowered around her. He missed her too much. Mistakes might be made before fences could be mended.
He had until tomorrow, then? Well, that should be time to work things out. She would just have to keep focused--and keep control of herself.
"Let me finish up here, okay? Then we'll head that way."
Wrex nodded his head. It would be a long wait, no matter how long she took. His idle hands annoyed him. He didn’t want to just stare at her, so he discreetly checked out the remaining patrons until she was ready to leave.
There was still another hour before the bar closed. Kasumi focused on refilling drinks and making small talk. Brick had taken a seat next to another regular, a small man who looked very bookish, and a bit out of place.
Wrex felt a bristle of jealousy at Brick. Not that he had a right to feel jealous. It was some primal thing, at the way he and Kasumi interacted. This feeling bothered him, about as much as his jealousy of a dead man.
"Damn it," he muttered, under his breath.
There were quite a few men in the bar that would have liked a chance with Kasumi, but that wasn't in the cards. Frankie was old enough to be her father, Rosco was married, and she thought of Brick like a big brother. There were some new faces tonight, but things weren't looking good for them, either. Kasumi wasn't into college kids, and the guy in the corner was just plain creepy.
Soon enough, the bar closed and the lights came on, signaling it was time to go. Kasumi closed out tabs and Brick helped by clearing a few tables and ushering people out. He glanced at Wrex and Kasumi shook her head. No kicking out the Krogan.
The guy in the corner was going to lose some teeth if he kept leering at Kasumi. Perhaps Wrex and Brick could bond over well deserved anti-creep violence. Wrex got to his feet once the last of the people had been cleared out.
He waited for Kasumi to finish up, then headed outside for the trek to her place.
Wrex hadn't been this nervous since this whole thing with her had started.
Alas, the creep was quick out the door when he felt the least bit threatened. He was a cowardly little creature. Kasumi exchanged a few words with Brick after they'd closed up, and he left her alone with Wrex. She locked up and joined Wrex outside.
"I can drive. Unless you want to follow in your car. Um.. Either way, it's really not that far." She would drive him back to his car if they decided he wasn't going to stay.
"I'll follow." Wrex replied, rubbing his shoulder. He thought it would be less awkward that way and give them time to think. Which wasn't necessarily the best idea, but it would avoid the awkward. And that way she wouldn't have to be put out and drive him back. Which would be really, really awkward if it came to that.
He tried to make light of things. "A man should never turn down staring at your taillights."
Kasumi nodded. That probably was for the best. She rolled her eyes a little at his joke, but it was more playful than annoyed. She got in her car and led the way back to her apartment.
She hadn't had a chance to clean, but her place was never too much of a mess. Kasumi liked nice things, so she kept the place looking good. There were a few pairs of shoes and some laundry out of place, but that was fixed easily enough.
"Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge," Kasumi said as she straightened up.
On the drive, Wrex quickly exchanged texts with Shepard, knowing Kasumi would probably yell at him for texting and driving. He tried to keep it to red lights.
Wrex>> Shepard, I'm talking to Kasumi, what do I do?
Shepard>> Use words.
Wrex>> Damn it, Shepard.
Shepard>> You can't preplan these things. Take it by ear. Either you'll forgive each other or you won't.
Wrex>> I'm afraid if I take it by ear I'll make it worse
Shepard>> Pretend it's like facing a Thresher Maw
Wrex>> ....
Thresher Maw. Right. Shepard was probably drunk. Either way, she wasn't much help.
He didn't have much of an appetite, but he did steal an apple and a bottle of water, before standing awkwardly in the kitchen as though he wasn't sure where to actually stand.
Kasumi grabbed a beer for herself before taking a seat on the couch. She didn't plan to get drunk--or even tipsy--but she was hoping to dampen her anxiety a little. She really wasn't sure how this was supposed to go.
Open and honest, right? Straightforward.
"Wrex, about Keiji.."
He stepped into the living area, and took a seat in a chair. He sipped at his water, and took a bite out of the apple as his stomach did a sort of twist. He couldn't change her feelings for a dead man.
"Yeah?"
Kasumi rubbed her forehead. "I thought I was.. No, I am over Keiji. It was ages ago. It's just the stupid dreams." She shook her head. "I don't want to live in the past, Wrex." She hated that it had all been stirred up again. She never wanted Wrex to feel like he was a rebound.
"I'm sorry. Everything is all mixed up and intense. Probably more intense than you want it to be." Letting the 'L' word slip before had been a mistake. She wasn't going to do it again anytime soon. But the heartache coupled with her feelings for Wrex.. It had all combined into this boiler effect. "I'm not going to ask you to get married or have kids or anything crazy, Wrex." She wasn't sure what thoughts had gone through his mind when she said 'love', but it had certainly spooked him. "I'm not there. I don't know if I ever will be, and I don't particularly want to think about it right now. But I do have feelings for you. Strong ones."
"Stupid dreams sometimes feel more real than real life. But we aren't those people in those dreams unless we want to be." Wrex leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. He hadn't been ready for it to get that intense. Not in words, and certainly not in his heart, no matter the feelings that fluttered around in there in a most un-Krogan like manner.
Not that he could have any kids. He wasn't even sure if Kasumi wanted kids. Wrex should probably tell her that part. They were being honest. She deserved that much. "Kids kinda come with me. Alma, and the Ranch. Those're probably the only kids you'd ever get out of me though. I can't."
He took a deep breath. "I don't know where I'm at, Kasumi. You make me feel things that scare the shit out of me. And I don't know what's gonna come with the dreams."
That was... a lot to take in. But she supposed she'd given him a lot, too. "I don't really know either." She shook her head, glad she was sitting down.
She hadn't even thought about having kids, and the glossed-over confession didn't really have much impact on her. "I'm not looking to settle down right now, Wrex. Not in the 'Get hitched, kid, dog, white picket fence' scenario. I'm not even thinking about moving in together yet. I didn't mean to rush things..." She'd figured that was what had scared him. "I know you have Alma, and really, that's one of the things I really like about you. Grumpy or not, you have a heart the size of your biceps."
"But I don't know. I guess if I could wave a magic wand and have whatever I wanted, I'd like for things to be how they were before I said it." After she said it, she realized what they'd been doing directly before she'd said it, and she raised an eyebrow. Well, that too.
"I think that I.." Wrex started, before letting out a breath. "I think that I wouldn't mind that being an option some day. Just not sure I'm ready yet." Wrex twisted open the cap on the bottle and took another swig. He remembered what they'd been doing just before she'd said it, and he needed something cold. Kasumi had this effect on him that made things like coherent thoughts go the way of the dodo. He needed a moment to collect himself.
Setting the bottle down, he cleared his throat, and tried to pretend there wasn't anything like hope in his voice. "I don't know if they'd be exactly the same...but I don't see why we can't try. I kind of figured out I should have given it more of a chance.”
She deserved it. They did. He just hoped he didn’t screw this up again.
Seemed like the safest course of action was to ignore the white picket fence talk for now. They could talk all day about now neither one of them was ready for it, but what was the point in that? It would just make Kasumi more nervous, and leave her more confused about where they were.
Kasumi nodded. It wasn't realistic to think things could be exactly the way they were, but it didn't mean she wasn't a little disappointed. She'd like to forget that he left, that she left, to pretend they weren't both so unsure and frightened. She wanted to get back to the fun stuff. "Trying is good."
They could get back to the fun stuff. Wrex wanted to get back to the fun stuff. Kasumi had been the first person in years he'd gotten to do fun stuff with. Emotions creeping up to complicate matters hadn't been expected, and the jury was still out on how wanted they were.
He reached over and took one of her hands. "I never meant to hurt you."
That might not be the best way to get back to the 'fun' stuff, but it had to be said. Wrex wanted that clear. He cared for her. He just wasn't ready to fully admit just how much.
Kasumi squeezed his hand, giving him a small smile. "I know," she said. "And I never meant for you to feel like you have to compete with Keiji, or anyone else. I may not be exactly sure what we are, but I know it's exclusive."
"If I have to compete with anyone else, I might have to butt heads," Wrex replied, squeezing her hand back. Maybe they could figure out what they were together. Without either of them running for the hills.
"As much fun as that would be to watch, I don't think you have anything to worry about." Kasumi bit down on her lower lip, thinking. "Um. The greybox. From my dreams? I couldn't.. It didn't feel right to destroy it." It would feel like Keiji dying all over again. It was a solid memory of him. "But having it around was too much. I put it in a safe deposit box at the bank. I don't want you to think that I'm keeping it around for a rainy day, or something. I don't want to hurt you."
"I believe you. It's not something that's going to hurt me, and it's important to you. I'd keep it in your place. I know he has a place in your heart. Just had some worries there wasn't room for anyone else. Probably stupid worries." Wrex ran his thumb over Kasumi's knuckles, back and forth, back and forth as he spoke.
Kasumi smiled. "Stupid worries," she agreed. "There's room for you." She caught his thumb with hers when it came close. "Believe me." She wouldn't have been so wrecked these past few weeks if Wrex hadn't taken up residence in her heart.
Wrex got to his feet, moving to pull Kasumi up with him and into his arms. He wanted to..needed to kiss her. Maybe it was presuming a bit much, but maybe he didn't care. She was too good at scrambling what sense he had.
There were no arguments from Kasumi's end. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he lifted her up, eager to close any distance between them. She kissed him--or maybe he kissed her, it was hard to tell who was first, but it didn't matter anyway. She closed her eyes, breathing him in.
She smelled like her shampoo and tasted twice as good. Wrex forgot completely why they'd had their split to begin with. Kasumi's body seemed to fit snug against his, warm and soft and hard in the right places.
That was it. She just fit.
Kasumi kissed him again, finally feeling the weight from her chest start to lift. Things were right. Her legs wrapped around his waist in a gesture that had become quite familiar to the two of them.
"Do you want to stay tonight?" she asked, her voice breathy.
His hand went down to her leg to help prop her up, and he stroked along the length. He oddly had a craving for oranges.
Only a fool would say no, and he'd already been a hell of a fool once this month. Especially when a question was asked in a voice like that. "I was hoping you'd ask, Kasumi."