Maybe I could change that to ‘amazing moments’? Ones that happen a lot?
Who: Shepard and Liara What: Shepard cooks for Liara. Madness ensues When: Before Halloween, woops! Where: Shepard and Liara's house Status: Complete Rating: PG-13 for innuendo
Well it had been an interesting day. She promised of porn from Zevran, which should be interesting. Mostly for Liara's reaction to the idea. And she had the materials to make stew, along with a recipe she'd found online.
Thus, Commander Shepard commandeered the kitchen and tried to prepare stew. After several false starts, she got the stew going on the stove, and then had to try not to burn some bread to go with it. This latter endeavor failed, but it's okay if there's only a little black, right?
She just hoped it finished before Liara got home.
If Shepard had warned her, Liara would’ve been suitably terrified. She knew her lover didn’t exactly have the right sort of ‘skills’ to be good at cooking... true, she hadn’t experienced it yet, but she’d experienced other things she was terrible at. That was ominous enough!
Coming home to Shepard in the kitchen did rather set off alarm bells. Ones that Liara tried to ignore. “This is... new.”
“Oh!” Shepard grinned at Liara, “Dinner’s almost done, right now I’m trying not to cut off all my fingers.”
She’d forgotten to add onions. They were going to be a little late into the pot, but that was okay, they’d still impart flavor. She hoped.
Liara laughed, shaking her head. Okay, she’d try to stay positive about this. Maybe it’d be one of the Commander’s hidden talents... if they were lucky. “Try not to. I like your hands as they are...”
Pervy jokes were allowed, right? And not only because it was fun to try and get Shepard to blush - all was fair in love and war!
"Well they do know you intimately," Shepard replied, putting the knife down and tossing the remains of the onions into the pot. A towel caught fire and she beat it out, looking sheepish once it was out.
"This is going to be great!"
Much as Liara doubted that, she wasn’t about to say it. Even if Shepard inexplicably setting things on fire was doing nothing good for her faith in her cooking skills. “I think we’d get a few complaints if you accidentally burn anything down. Be careful in there!”
How was it that she could make battling Reapers look so easy, but simple, domestic things tripped her up? It was probably just one of those strange things...
In the Marines (both worlds) her meals had either been prepared for her or came out of MREs, so cooking had been pretty low on the list of things she'd needed to learn, "I'll be careful, T'soni! Don't you worry." She popped out of the kitchen long enough to wriggle her fingers are Liara, as if to say 'see? intact!'
Then she ducked back in and there was a horrific rattle of pots and pans and silverware. Along with some cursing. Then a shouted 'everything is fine!'
Oh, Goddess. Liara facepalmed. “Try to leave the kitchen in one piece, Shepard!”
"Don't worry, it's not like I'm making explosives," She replied, laughing. Making C4 was something she actually knew how to cook. Hopefully it would never come in handy. But you know. Reapers.
Something smelled like it was burning!
Not that Liara would honestly want Shepard making explosives in their kitchen. That was what the garage was for, dammit. At the burning smell, she sighed and moved in to try and rescue her lover.
Note to everyone: never, ever let Shepard cook. Under any circumstances.
Lots of things happened in the garage. That's why she'd had it reinforced! She rushed to save the veggies, getting them off the fire. There was the sound of the fire extinguisher, than the tinkling of classes.
Shepard had already set the dining room table, and she got the stew taken out and what was left of the veggies. Then she poured the wine that Zevran had suggested, and came out into the living room, "It's ready!"
Hopefully it tasted good!
With any luck, this wouldn’t end entirely badly. Not that Liara had much faith left in this particular set of skills. “And the kitchen is only mildly singed. I don’t think that went too badly.”
Considering Shepard’s usual standards, that was.
"I'd qualify it as a success!" She took Liara's hand, pulling her to her feet and kissing her, before leading her into the dining room. The table looked half-way passable, and the candles hadn't started a fire, or anything. Shepard sat Liara down, then served her a bowl of boiling hot stew.
The meat looked vastly overcooked.
Which, honestly, hardly surprised Liara. Part of Shepard’s charm was her complete and utter badness at this sort of domestic stuff... of course, that charm did rather diminish when she realised that she’d have to actually try and eat the stuff.
“Or close enough to one. Don’t get ahead of yourself.” She may well have been delaying. Not that anyone could really blame her.
Shepard sniffed at her own bowl, managing to not make a face. She'd eaten worse while on deployment, so she'd have to dig in and enjoy herself. She did, and it was actually not as tough as it looked. There was even flavor beyond 'burnt'!
Well. Here went everything. If Shepard could stomach it, it was at least edible... Liara steeled herself for the worst and dared try it. The surprise was probably more than a little obvious. “Maybe you aren’t quite as terrible in the kitchen as I thought...”
“I’ll take that victory,” She replied, grinning at Liara. Of course any survivor of Akuge would have a twisted definition of victory, but she had buried that trauma a long time ago. “Try the potatoes, I think though actually came out perfect!”
Liara couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head. “Honestly, Shepard...”
And try them she did, still somewhat amazed that her fiancée had managed to make something quite this edible. Was this one of her amazing skills in the name of love? ...Dear Goddess, that sounded ridiculous.
Okay, so Shepard's 'perfect' was someone else's 'almost edible' but who was counting? Not Shepard! She flashed a happy grin at Liara.
"Look at us, being domestic."
Liara couldn’t help but smile. It seemed almost ridiculous... and yet, it was something she could totally get used to. “I guess everyone has their odd little moments. It’s nice.”
"Odd little moments?" Shepard replied, scowling playfully. "Keep that up and you won't be getting any dessert, honey."
Oh Goddess. How was it that Shepard could scowl and still look ridiculously adorable? Not that Liara would ever actually say that... “Maybe I could change that to ‘amazing moments’? Ones that happen a lot?”
That was the worst ‘fix’ ever.
Shepard's grin was positively wolfish. "Then we should finish our food so we can have an amazing moment on the table."
Liara’s answering smirk may’ve been just the tiniest bit devilish. Shepard truly brought out the worst in her! “I don’t think I can turn that down...”