Cameron can appreciate art (tin_miss) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-10-25 22:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, cameron phillips, jack |
"Have you ever been in love?"
Who: Jack and Cameron
What: Meetings, talks and cuddles
When: Thursday night
Where: Library, then Jack's place.
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13 for language
Jack sauntered up to the library a little before nine. As promised, she wore red pants. And combat boots. And a leather jacket with spiky bits. She shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and leaned against the wall. She wasn’t exactly sure what to expect from this girl, but she hadn’t had anything else to do, and she was a better option than some of what the girl might dredge up online. She did kind of expect the girl to get a good look at her and back out, though.
She really wanted a cigarette, but she didn’t want that to be what put the girl off. And not everyone liked the smell of cigarette smoke. Waiting without smoking did suck, though.
Cameron had had to both figure out what to wear and sneak out before John or Sarah knew she was going somewhere. She wore boots, a short denim skirt, a black tank top and the leather jacket. Jack didn't seem like the kind of woman who'd go for a girl in a dress, and she knew she looked good in this. Maybe if Jack liked music she could play for her some time.
She packed her gun into her jacket, and snuck out the window. Because that's what you do when you were sneaking out to meet someone your folks didn't approve of.
It felt really good to be rebellious.
Approaching the library, Cameron thought Jack wasn't hard to miss. Keeping her hands in her jacket pockets, she approached, "Jack?"
Jack turned at her name and looked the girl up and down. Not bad. “Yeah. And that would make you Cameron.” She pushed off from the wall and walked a little closer to the girl. “Nice jacket. Looks good on you.”
She pulled her right hand out and offered it out, "Thank you. Your jacket is tight." Cameron felt a grin come to her face. Jack was definitely hot. She was still unsure how she felt about girls, but she could have picked a lot worse.
Jack shook her hand, grinning at Cameron’s continued trend of using ‘tight.’ The girl could certainly land someone better than Jack if she wanted, but she also land a lot worse by asking the internet. “So...like what you see enough to move this...thing...somewhere else?”
Cameron tilted her head, looking Jack over appraisingly. She decided if nothing else, she really liked tattoos. She felt an odd sensation in the center of her stomach. Was that fear? Trepidation? Guilt?
"Yes. Will you stop if I tell you to?"
“Yeah. I will. You say ‘stop,’ I stop. You say ‘no,’ I stop.” Jack looked Cameron right in the eyes. “You have my word on that.” Jack’s word wasn’t always good for much, but in this case, it was a promise she’d keep.
"Sweet." Cameron rubbed the back of her neck, her nervousness growing. Then she walked up to Jack, slid that hand around to the back of the woman's head and kissed her.
That was not exactly the reaction Jack had been expecting. It did make her glad that she’d managed to hold off on the cigarette, though. She slid an arm around Cameron’s waist under her jacket, pulling her closer as she returned the kiss. She cupped the girl’s cheek with her free hand and sought to deepen the kiss.
It was..enjoyable, but she wasn't sure if that was 'omg lesbian' or just 'omg human contact.' Cameron let the kiss deepen and tried to deepen it back. It wasn't bad at all. But it didn't quite feel right.
Jack licked her lips after breaking the kiss. She wasn’t sure how this was going, or how it would go. “You wanna go back to my place?” Hey, all she could do was ask, really.
Cameron seemed a little indecisive. She was craving contact but she wasn't exactly..turned on, "I don't know. Maybe. Yes. How do you know if you're attracted to women?"
“Um...you just...kind of figure it out...I guess.” It wasn’t really something Jack had ever thought that deeply about. And she hadn’t really expected to be asked about it. The girl had definitely meant it about not being with a woman before, though. That much was getting really clear.
“And we don’t have to do anything when we get there if you don’t want to,” she added.
"Okay." Cameron nodded her head. That seemed safe enough, and would give her time to sort out this feeling in her gut.
"You're good at that." Kissing, she meant. She licked her lips.
“...thanks.” Jack grinned slightly and held out her hand. “Let’s go.”
Blinking, Cameron took Jack's hand, and let the other woman drag her along. Her mind kept trying to analyze the situation and her reactions to it, and compare it to her past experiences. She told her brain to stop that, it was too much like herself in the dreams.
When they arrived at the pawnshop, Jack led Cameron up to her apartment. She’d done some last-minute cleaning up before heading out to the library, so it was in better shape than it normally was.
“You want anything to drink? Water, soda?”
"Water." Soda would leave a bad taste for kissing. If they kept kissing. Cameron hadn't decided yet. She looked around, taking in the state of the apartment, before plopping onto the bed.
Jack glanced over at Cameron, then nodded. She grabbed a bottle of water from her fridge and opened it. She really hated the bottles that had the teeny-tiny ‘uses less plastic!’ lids. But they’d been on sale, so she supposed she shouldn’t complain too much.
“Here ya go,” she said, holding the bottle out to Cameron.
"Thanks." She took the bottle and took a drink, some water dribbling down her chin. She wiped her mouth, feeling like she should be able to tell the composition of that water.
"Why did you pick me up?"
Jack slipped out of her jacket, revealing a close-fitting short-sleeved top that showed off most of the tattoos on her arms. She tossed the jacket onto the recliner and looked back at Cameron. She shrugged. “I didn’t have anything else to do.” She paused for a moment. “And I didn’t want some fucking perv to pick you up.”
Cameron kept her jacket on, but did stare at Jack's arms, "Your tattoos are tight..."
She blinked, and looked up at Jack, "That was really stupid of me, wasn't it."
“Thanks.” Jack managed not to laugh when Cameron said ‘tight’ again. She sat down beside the girl and took a deep breath. “It wasn’t the smartest thing ever,” she said. “But it’s...there’s worse ways you could have gone about it. Trust me.”
"Such as? I'd like to avoid them in the future." Cameron leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with Jack's, before trailing a finger along a tattoo. The intricate designs were almost like a lure to her eyes.
“Anyone who’s only looking to get themselves off and not you along with them, for one. But that’s more ‘user’ than straight up perv.” She shivered slightly as Cameron traced a tattoo. “Mostly...well, sometimes you can’t spot them till it’s too late. People like that, they don’t like ‘stop’ and they don’t like ‘no’.”
Cameron's finger continued to trace tattoos, soon joined by a finger from her other hand. She nodded her head, then leaned in and kissed Jack again. She liked kisses. They were wonderful things that should be explored more often, but kissing Jack did little more than that for her.
She pulled her head back slightly, "..I'm sorry."
Jack closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. The tattoo tracing was starting to get a little distracting. When Cameron pulled back, she took a deep breath. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”
"Will you hold me?" She asked, peering into Jack's eyes. She could keep touching the tattoos, and was coming to the realization that she needed to be held, more than she needed to be fucked. She had some questions, besides.
“...yeah, I can do that.” Jack remembered that Cameron’s brother had called her ‘fragile.’ She was starting to see that, or at least glimpses of it. She ran a hand through her hair. “You wanna do that sitting up or lying down? Couch might work better for sitting.”
"Laying down," Cameron said, immediately. It would be more comfortable.
“Okay.” Jack bent down and unlaced her boots, toeing them off once they were loose enough. She scooted farther up the bed and held her arms out.
Cameron looked at her, then pulled her boots off, and then her jacket. She laid it on a chair near the bed, stretching a bit, before crawling onto it, and into Jack's arms. Jack was warm. She'd always loved this with Sarah, but that didn't happen often enough. She feared if she dreamed more, it would never happen again.
The girl settled her head on Jack's chest, tracing the nearest visible tattoo with a finger. The silence lasted several minutes, before she asked, "Have you ever been in love?"
Jack wrapped her arms around Cameron’s shoulders. “No. I haven’t.” It was true. Both in this world and in that fucked up sci-fi world she kept dreaming about. She fully expected it to stay that way, too.
"It's less tight than people say it is," Cameron muttered, closing her eyes and nuzzling her cheek against Jack. "He doesn't love me, not the same way."
But maybe that was okay. What mattered is she loved him. She had the impression that was important.
Jack sighed and gave Cameron a squeeze. “There’s a guy you like that doesn’t see you like that, huh? His loss.” Kid deserved someone good.
Yeah. He was a 'douche' apparently too, but Cameron didn't say that. She knew Jack wouldn't understand, at least not without having to explain the whole story about their family. Jack's arms might be comforting, but she couldn't trust anyone enough about something that important.
The thought made her sad.
"I don't recommend it."
“I don’t think it’s something I’ll have to worry much about,” Jack replied.
Cameron shrugged, her finger trailing across tattoos like they were a map to the secret of the universe. She licked her lips, and whispered, "I play music. Do you want to hear sometime?"
Jack took a deep breath. “If you’re really interested in playing for me, then sure.” Might as well. It...seemed like she needed someone to be around who wasn’t family. Not that Jack was anywhere near role model material, but better her than some people.
"Okay." Cameron's eyes drifted closed again.
"Thank you."
“You’re welcome,” Jack said, smiling just a little.