Dick "life's a carnival" Grayson (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lifesacircus) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valarlogs,@ 2020-12-16 18:32:00 |
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What:Ranting about Kate
When:Kate's arrival
Where:Clark's
The day had been a roller coaster. Starting with what to do with the house, and now ending in Bruce Wayne. Emotions surrounding him were complicated for Dick. None of it made sense. The man hadn’t been great to him, but he was still his adopted father. To see the name Wayne Enterprises and Bruce Wayne on the network had thrown him for a loop. He stood on the rooftop of the house, pacing back and forth on the thinnest strip of said rooftop as though it were nothing at all.
If Bruce Wayne existed, why hadn’t he known about it? Why hadn’t he been able to find him when he’d done a million searches before? ..More importantly, why wasn’t he reached out to? Logically it could have been for a dozen reasons, but he wasn’t thinking logically. He was still angry and hurt. Bruce brought up a lot of unwanted emotions. A lot he didn’t know how to deal with or what to do with.
So he paced. Even ended up on one hand doing a handstand or two. Because that was how he dealt with things.
Before the truck even pulled into the driveway, Clark heard the pacing. X-ray vision told him that the other wasn't in the house. Though, when he looks up he tries not to make a fuss over it. Slipping out of the truck, he looks up and leans against crossing his arms over his chest.
He could hear the other's heartbeat and breathing. Something was definitely going on, something that he wasn't entirely sure about. It didn't stop him from being worried. Sometimes he hated that Dick liked the damn rooftop so damn much. It drove him crazy, but it was a good place to sit too. Not that he would go up there. That just wasn't his thing.
The Kryptonian waits until he's not pacing so much before letting his voice be heard," Want to come down and tell me what's going on?" Even if he really wanted to ask if the other was trying to give him a heart attack or something.
Being on rooftops was like free therapy for him. It was as natural as breathing was. He had entire routines, and what Clark had seen thus far was hardly anything. This was just normal rooftop activities for him. If Clark only knew about Rooftop Tag he might have hated it that much more.
The open air helped, especially when Clark wasn’t home. He had to do something to occupy his mind and this was it. He was weirdly nimble and capable, so it wasn’t as though he was going to fall any time soon. He was trying to work out in his head just how the hell any of this happened. He hadn’t even heard the old truck pull up.
He didn’t hear anything until Clark spoke and he glanced down. “One sec.” He was more concerned with the Bruce thing than anything else that moment. Instead of thinking to go out the normal way he climbed down the sides of that house until he touched down silently in front of him. Well to anyone else it would be silent, to Clark it probably still sounded like human feet touching the ground. At least it wouldn’t sound like a sack of bricks.
“Bruce Wayne.” He couldn’t hide it, so why try. Clark knew him too well.
Those eyes watch Dick as he went back and forth along the ledge. It wasn't that he was afraid he was going to fall, even if some fear resided there, but that he didn't trust the roof. That was something that the Kryptonian would have to get over more than the man up there. Just like the other slipping out the window sometimes in the middle of the night.
He makes a face when the other climbs down the side of the house," Watch the siding." There's a hint of amusement when he says it. Or maybe, just like everything else, he could just hear the little creaks. Sometimes he hated the super hearing. Other days? It came in handy. Definitely came in handy at work.
Clark stays leaning against the truck even as Dick is suddenly there in front of him. "What about him?" Bruce Wayne wasn't really a name he was familiar with, but it was obvious that Dick was.
He was very clearly annoyed by whatever this Bruce had done. Or in this case not done. The pacing continued down there on the ground. “He’s real. Somehow I missed it, I actually don’t even know how. I searched his name, his alias names, his corporations..” Dick ranted as he listed things off, probably sounding a bit neurotic. But in that moment he pretty much was. He didn’t understand how Bruce could exist without him knowing in any capacity. All the Bruce Wayne’s he’d come up with were real people who had no connections to Wayne anything aside from the name.
Yes he’d done a deep dive search. He’d done several. He knew that man better than he knew himself, and Dick couldn’t figure it out. “It doesn’t make any damn sense.” He seethed as he only continued to get yet more annoyed over the situation. When it came to Bruce all his logic went flying right out the window.
The annoyance was very palpable in the air. That much Clark could see. He didn't need super anything to notice it. Even if he was the man on the outside looking in. Not sure what in the world the other was talking about. Those eyes watch him pace for a moment before he reaches out and stops him from pacing so much.
"Why don't you start from the top, Dick," he states softly. "I know we're talking about Bruce Wayne, but why the sudden interest?"
Dick stopped for a minute to look over at him in confusion, blinked and took a moment to register the question before explaining “There’s a Wayne Enterprises being run or co-run I’m not sure by somebody else. The only person I know who would have any connection to it is Bruce. That guy who adopted me from the circus in the dreams but I’ve looked for him. I’ve spent so much time looking for him I can’t even explain it.” He wasn’t sure why actually, that man had been pretty cold to him outside of Batman and Robin work. Hell, sometimes even during as a recent dream had revealed.
“His supposed cousin showed up who I have no idea anything about and she checks out.” Yeah he’d used some of his old police ties to background check into Kate. Wanting to be reassured of who she was and her connections to Wayne Enterprises. Dick just looked over at the house to avoid looking at the other man in the eyes for a moment. Things between him and that name were complicated. There were questions he wanted to ask, but was afraid to get the answer to.
"Did you ask them the reasoning behind it?" Clark had a feeling that Dick hadn't. Not if he was trying to find out the situation. Things sounded a bit complicated. He wondered what the person knew about Bruce Wayne or Wayne Enterprises. Only way to find out would be to talk to her, really.
Clark watches him for a moment," Maybe they were protecting each other?" It was a thought. He wasn't sure if that was the case. However, sometimes people that one knew could have family around the world. Or off the grid for their own protection. Honestly? He didn't know what to think about any of it. "Maybe if you talk to her, she'll have answers for you. Unless you wanted to keep your distance." There was always that option too.
"I don't know. I don't really care either." He admitted with a shrug. "He doesn't want me, that's just fine." It was a possibility that Bruce didn't even know him, but again that would take logical reasoning. When it came to that name he spiraled and couldn't think clearly at all. His arms folded uncomfortably as he tried to stand still and not pace as much. Damn if it wasn't hard enough lately trying to figure things out.
"I can't talk to her." Not like a sane, rational person anyway. Not yet. He looked over at him, some of that chaotic energy seemed to have deflated a bit but there was still some pent up remaining. His worst fear was Bruce not wanting or refusing to acknowledge him. For any reason. It scared him more than going back to prison.
"This is the OC, Dick," Clark points out. "How are you so sure that he even knows you here? I didn't know you and you knew a hell of a lot about me," he tells him. It was weird having people know who he was and not know them in turn. After all, the other kept asking him if he wanted spoilers. Something that he didn't want.
"You can't or you're afraid of what answers she'd give you?" The Kryptonian asks softly before pulling the other into a hug. "Lets head inside. Maybe give it some time." Not that he expected Dick to talk to this cousin of Bruce's. There were days like this that the OC gave him a headache.
"I don't.. But if he does.. If there's even a miniscule chance that he does? What then?" Dick shared his current headache when it came to OC in that moment. He couldn't deal with Bruce. As he was pulled into his arms he leaned into that hug. It was nerve wracking at best. And then there was the house he'd dealt with. It was pretty obvious he was mentally fried.
There was still so much to deal with and he was getting overwhelmed with it all. "I don't know." Maybe it was both things, the idea of being unwanted by Bruce in any sort of way terrified him. Whether the man was aware or not. He nodded to the idea of going in. "Don't have any advil do you?" he could use it. The stress had formed into a headache.
"Then we deal with it, if that's the case," he tells him firmly. If Bruce Wayne was around, then Clark would deal with him if need be. That way Dick wouldn't have to. Though, there was still the whole ordeal that the man didn't even know Dick existed. The cousin did, obviously, but they didn't know what she knew about her cousin. And Dick wasn't ready to talk to her anyway.
He gives a bit of a smirk at that," Just because I'm an alien doesn't mean I don't get headaches. Yes, I have some advil. Or tylenol. One of the two in the house.”
“It’s stupid, I know..all this over one guy.” But Bruce was the one person who could make him feel like a child still seeking acceptance. It was a thing he’d never gotten from him, at least not yet anyway. “When he took me in, it was Alfred that ended up raising me instead. Bruce just..sometimes flat out ignored me. I don’t understand why he’d adopt someone and then act that way. Unless we were working, there wasn’t much else he was doing except apparently throwing parties. Brought me around to his business partners once, but it was basically just a show.” Like he’d been some kind of object for Bruce to show off.
But that comment did earn a slight smirk. “Wouldn’t want to assume.” Either way really. “Think I could use ten.” That might be sufficient enough to rid of the headache forever. Of course he was half joking about the ten comment. But only half. “Dealt with the house today too.”
"Maybe it had something to do with his own childhood." Not that he condoned anyone being ignored. He couldn't even picture ignoring anyone that he took in. Not his brother, not his boyfriend, and not anyone. There was no way in hell that he'd let someone else raise whoever he took in.
He shakes his head," You'll get two, three max." Clark wasn't about ready to let Dick have ten of the advil. Last thing he needed was his boyfriend getting sick on him due to that. As for the mention of the house," How'd that go?"
"Maybe." he didn't know, or care just then. All he knew was it hurt. "It doesn't make sense no matter how many times I try to figure it out. He only was interested in what I could do for him." And if Dick wasn't able to accomplish what Bruce wanted, the consequences of it were emotionally crushing on the young boy. "All I wanted was his approval." He craved it, even now. Bruce was never happy with anything.
He gave a small frown at the idea of only the proper amount. "Fine, be all reasonable why don't you." He reached for Clark's hand to hold it on the brief walk inside. "Fine I guess. But she doesn't want to be there by herself so it's just going to be a base of sorts." He shrugged, he should have figured it would turn out that way, but whatever. "Just these things in one day was exhausting, and it didn't used to be." He used to be able to manage his shit better, but felt entirely drained.
Clark honestly didn't know how to process that. Something seemed off. Like there was some deep underlying meaning. Which, there probably was. Not that he knew this Bruce guy to save his life. What would drive someone to adopt someone, and then toss them aside? That didn't really make any sense. None of this shit made any sense. It gave him a bit of a headache, really.
"I'm going to be all reasonable," he points out, giving that hand that slips into his a bit of a squeeze. Last thing he needed was Dick getting sick on him. He didn't need to worry about something like that. Even if he could just x-ray vision him and tell what was wrong. Which was still weird to even do. He tried not to use the x-ray vision. Sometimes, though, it just happened. "Maybe she should get roommates then. Though, a base works too." Even if he didn't know what she'd need a base for.
He pulls Dick close to him as they walk inside, moving them over towards the couch," It'll get there again, Dick, but it's going to take time."
It was very headache inducing. Dick didn't like to think about it either. Bruce was a complicated thing for him. "All he ever did was push me harder. I was ten when he started to train me. He expected me to be able to meet his expectations and if I couldn't he'd cold shoulder me for days. Longer if Alfred didn't get involved. That man was a Saint." If not for Alfred, Dick would have run away more than once." I probably would have ended up dead if not for him. " He wasn't joking, while Bruce wouldn't have done it, Dick would have kept pushing himself to unreasonable limits.
When he was pulled close, he didn't fight. He leaned into him. His feet curling up beside him on the couch to get more comfortable. "She has one, which is why it got awkward when I was the one who invited her then told her I didn't want to go back.. We're okay, it's just.. Awkward. I don't like disappointing anyone." he was a people pleaser when it came to the ones closest to him.
"I can't remember being this tired. Ever,” he admitted with a frown as he rested against him.
Clark would let Dick talk about Bruce if he wanted. He had no qualms with just listening to him talk, even if he didn't know Bruce or Alfred. They were complete and total strangers to him. People that didn't mean anything whatsoever to him. They meant something to Dick though, and that's all that mattered. From the way the other was talking Alfred was good, but Bruce was... something else.
He runs his fingers through Dick's hair as he's leaned into," It was easier to suggest giving it up than subletting it. Like you said, you didn't need the money." He knew that his boyfriend didn't like disappointing anyone. "No one has any reason whatsoever to be disappointed in you." Not as far as he was concerned, at any rate.
He kisses the top of his head," Rest, Dick. I'm not going anywhere."
"Alfred made me milkshakes when I had bad days." he'd started the trend of Dick's love for them. They were a comfort item, and it showed him that someone cared in that house. Someone had loved him, though it may rarely have been spoken in words, the man's actions did all the talking for him.
Dick closed his eyes once he was comfortable, it wasn't hard. Clark made a good pillow. He loved the way his hand touched his hair like that, he felt safe. All he wanted to do was help those around him, not make them upset. "No I don't." he echoed in response, honestly he didn't need a space that big all to himself. "I don't like being alone there actually." it was so large it was intimidating at times. "but it is a good studio space.." maybe he'd be able to go back to teaching self defense there at some point.
"You're a good pillow." he commented off handedly. His head still hurt, but maybe rest would help.. If he could.
The mention of this Alfred person making milkshakes for bad days made a lot of sense. Well, sense in the fact that it was something Dick had asked about when they'd gone to the diner. If they had milkshakes. That made a lot more sense now. Maybe they'd have to go to the diner more often. It was a place that the Kryptonian enjoyed, and he knew Dick didn't mind it.
His fingers continue to card through Dick's hair even as he closes his own eyes. "You'll never be alone again," he tells him softly. Not if Clark could help it. The other would never have to worry about that. Not as long as the fire fighter lived. Which hopefully was for a long ass damn time.
"I'm sure I do," he states softly.