Simon Lewis (notsomundane) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2020-08-31 17:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, clary fray, simon lewis |
Who: Simon Lewis & Clary Fray
When: Backdated: Early July
Where: Clary's Apartment
What: Simon helps Clary deal with her most recent dreams
Rating/Warnings: Family Friendly
Status: Complete
To say that Simon was worried about Clary was an understatement. There was a lot in the early dreams that could cause her to be upset from Jocelyn being in a coma to finding out Valentine was her father to the lie about Jace being her brother and Simon, himself, being turned into a vampire, among other things so he could only guess at what exactly it was that had upset her so much so when she’d asked him to come over, he hadn’t even had to think twice about it. He simply let Izzy know that Clary needed him then headed to her apartment with some cookies that Izzy had made the day before; after all, who didn’t like cookies when they were upset?
The whole way there, he kept wondering if he should have given Clary a bit of a heads up about some of the things in their dream when she had first joined Valarnet, but at the same time, he had felt like she should experience it first hand like everyone else. The dreams made everything so much more complicated than it had to be. Reaching Clary’s apartment, he parked the van and got out then headed into Clary’s building and upon reaching her apartment, he knocked on the door.
***
The latest cycle of dreams had left Clary a hot mess. She didn’t even know where to begin dealing with everything. Her dad was evil. Jace was her brother but they still had feelings for one another and she didn’t even care that it was wrong. She had wanted to be with him but it had been Jace who said he could only be there for her as a brother. She couldn’t help feeling heartbroken and confused, even though it had only been dreams. It was crazy that she was feeling this way.
Thank the Angel for Simon. She didn’t know what she’d do without him. He was her best friend in both places, her constant. But...there were things happening in the dreams with him too. He was a vampire. Did he know about that? Clary wasn’t entirely sure how far he’d dreamed. She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock at the door, and she got up to answer, opening the door and offering him a small smile that didn’t quite match her demeanor.
“Hey, come on in,” Clary said, stepping out of the way so Simon could enter the apartment.
***
“Hey. As promised, I have cookies” Simon said, holding up a container or Izzy’s cookies, as he stepped into Clary’s apartment then turned back to her, taking in her appearance. He knew how stressful and overwhelming the dreams could be and he hated that Clary was having a hard time dealing with them, but he was there for her no matter what, “How’re you doing with all of this?” The dreams really could mess with a person’s head and feelings.
***
“Thanks for coming,” Clary said. She closed the door behind him. She didn’t know if she was feeling up for cookies right now but she’d definitely try at least one. They were Izzy’s after all, and Izzy was a very good baker. Mainly, Clary was just happy Simon was here. Maybe he would be able to help her sort through all the dreams and feelings. The unhealthy feelings for Jace Herondale that she didn’t know what to do with. If anyone wasn’t going to judge her for that, it was Simon.
“These dreams can really do a number on you, huh?” She asked him. “After this latest cycle...I don’t even know what to think. Who even am I, Simon?”
***
“Of course. It’s part of the best friend contract. Best friends must come to each other’s aid no matter what,” Simon smiled then reached out to wrap his arms around his best friend in a reassuring hug, “You’re still the same person you were before the dreams. You’re Clary Fray just with the potential to become an even bigger badass than before.” He knew just how crazy the dreams could be, “And you have no idea how much of a number they can do on you.” He was beginning to wonder if he should tell her about the whole vampire thing before she got there and got even more confused.
***
“Yeah,” Clary said with a nod as Simon assured her of who she was. She let him hold her, and hugged him back. She was glad Izzy wasn’t the jealous type, considering how close Clary and Simon were. And how...they’d been in the dreams, despite her feelings for Jace. She felt sick just thinking about it. It wasn’t right for her to feel those things...for her brother. “It’s just a lot to deal with and process.”
***
Izzy was definitely not the jealous type and she knew that there was nothing between Simon and Clary besides friendship, even if he had had feelings for Clary in the dreams. Of course Izzy didn’t know about that part yet or the part where he’d been dating her and Maia at the same time.
“I know.” Simon could easily assure Clary that everything she had dreamt about would get better; that they would win the war and that Jace wasn’t really her brother and that in the end almost everything would work out for the better, but he didn’t want to tell her anything that she didn’t want to know just yet. “If there’s anything you want me to clarify or explain or completely spoil, just ask. I’m pretty far ahead of where you are.” Besides Magnus and Alec, Simon had probably had the most dreams out of all of them.
***
“I don’t know, I have a lot of…issues and feelings.” Feelings that she shouldn’t have. Feelings that were going to get her in trouble. But she was just a kid in her dreams. It was different than here. Did it even matter?
“I feel like I should be apologizing to you.” Clary said. After all, she’d kissed Jace when they were in Faerie. But here, Simon and Clary were not together. They didn’t have feelings for each other. They were just best friends. And that was all either of them wanted. Clary sighed, taking a deep breath.
“It’s just...so much at once and to process. And you...you’re a vampire. And Jace is my brother but I have feelings for him, and don’t seem to care it’s wrong. I don’t even know what to do with that.”
***
There was so much that Clary still needed to find out and have clarified for her, “Yeah, it’s all a lot to have piled on so quickly.” When he thought back to it he was amazed just how much happened, in their dreams in such a short amount of time. “Why don’t we go sit down and then you can ask me anything you want to about the dreams. If you want to know something, I won’t be cryptic this time. I promise.” This was the time to reassure Clary not worry about spoilers.
***
“Okay,” Clary said. She knew that Simon had dreamed further than she had. He would have some answers for her. And he didn’t seem upset about the whole...Jace thing. She couldn’t help feeling guilty though, about all of it. She didn’t really know how to handle all of it. But she knew if anyone could help her with it, it was Simon. He was her best friend...in both worlds. “I need to know about Jace, why do I keep feeling things for him that I know are wrong?”
***
Once they were sitting, Simon turned to face Clary, “Okay, so the thing with Jace is simple. He’s not your brother.” Simon wasn’t about to let Clary agonize over this for however long it took for her to actually dream about finding out the truth, “Valentine lied.”
***
“What?” Clary was shocked. Not that Valentine lied, because he was definitely a lot of things and a liar was one of them. But...if Jace wasn’t her brother then that changed a lot of things. She wondered when she would find that out in the dreams. “Are you sure? Jace isn’t my brother?” That made her feel slightly less guilty. “Typical Valentine I guess.”
***
Simon nodded, “Very sure. Valentine is your father, but he’s not Jace’s. He did raise Jace though. Jace was a baby when his actual father died, so he didn’t know that Valentine wasn’t actually his father until after Valentine tried to tell you that you were siblings.” There was so much more to the story of Michael Wayland and Stephen Herondale; the man who Jace had thought was his father and the one who actually was his father, but Clary would find out all of that eventually. There was simply too much to really explain. Right now she only needed the basics. “So whatever you’re feeling for Jace, in the dreams, is okay.”
***
“So it was just a way for him to try and manipulate us and cause even more pain?” Clary supposed she wasn’t all that surprised. Valentine was a monster. She hated that she was related to him. She would definitely change that if she could. But at least now she knew Jace was not her brother. Which meant what she felt for him was not wrong or messed up. And anyway it was just in the dreams. “Thank you, Simon. You don’t know how much better this makes me feel.”
***
“Exactly. It was all a game to him,” Simon hoped that Valentine never showed up in the waking world, because while not everyone ended up like their dream counterparts, Valentine had simply done too many horrible things for Simon to try and look past them, “Hey, I couldn’t let you keep worrying. I mean, normally I wouldn’t tell you too much that’s to come, but in this case I thought it was necessary.”
***
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Clary told him with a nod.She had a lot to think about with this revelation but at least she didn’t have to feel bad anymore. “And I’m sure I’ll learn about it soon,” she added. But in the meantime, she wouldn’t be beating herself up over all this. Simon was really the best.