Damon Salvatore is complicated. (flipstheswitch) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2020-07-04 12:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, alex, damon salvatore |
WHO: Damon and Alex
WHAT: A visit
WHERE: Alex’s apartment
WHEN: Tuesday, May 5th {Damon collects Alex to come home}
RATING: Them {Let's go with PG-13}
STATUS: Complete upon posting
Being sober, or at least half sober, felt strangely comforting. After the big Stormtrooper invasion, Alex’s usual Tuesday night was canceled in favor of staying home where he had bottle after bottle of alcohol. He’d considered getting pissed out of his head, but had decided against it after two shots.
Instead, he sat with Tommy’s dog tags dangling loosely between his fingers and just began to laugh. At what, he didn’t know, but nothing was especially funny. Leon was back on the network, but for whatever reason, he didn’t even care. What he wanted, needed, was Damon’s arms around him and his slow breath shifting his hair. That was enough intoxication for him.
Alex was in his lounge pants and nothing else because fuck it. Damon didn’t need Alex to dress up. Neither him nor Thomas needed it. Thomas was invited. Thomas was always invited, without Alex needing to say a word, but he had the feeling Damon would come alone tonight and that was good with Alex. He’d left the door unlocked and there was no need to knock.
***
Damon knew Leon was back, and of course he’d taken the opportunity to mock the idiot on the network. Damon had never liked the guy and that wasn’t going to change. He was quite happy to see him gone. His return had left the vampire worried about Alex. His ex was doing better, made some solid changes, and Damon was proud of him. He didn’t want to see him torn down by someone who wasn’t worth a second of his time.
He knew that they could both go and check on him, but this one was Damon’s alone. They were the two that had been through this shit. They had played the triangle - Alex, Leon, and Damon. Both Damon and Alex had been hurt. This one was his to deal with alone, and it needed to be that way.
He tapped on Alex’s door and then walked in, not sure what he was going to find. “Hey,” he called, “Are you okay?”
***
What he found was Alex on his couch, lounging back with the dog tags. Alex sat up and slipped them around his neck, then stood and crossed over to Damon, his arms going around the vampire’s neck. He sighed and breathed Damon in, his eyes falling shut. Somehow, he felt he needed to prove that he wasn’t going to go back with Leon, but he didn’t even know if Damon would even think it now. Maybe a few months ago, but Alex had had enough time to get over Leon.
“Yeah,” he exhaled against the side of Damon’s neck. “I just hate being alone sometimes. You know?”
***
He had a normal greeting, pulling Alex close, his hand in his hair. He just stayed like that. This was their fi, tying them back together. He didn’t really know where Alex and Leon stood once the anger faded. He had figured that the detective would reappear at some point. The ties were hard to break, but he hoped that it was done. He might not like the thought of Alex with anyone else, but especially not that waste of time.
“I know. I don’t want you to be alone. I hated it myself.” That wasn’t a dig at Alex either. He was alone long before the brunette showed up in his life. “I hate leaving you alone.”
****
Alex didn’t take it as a dig. He would have understood if it were directed toward him anyway, but he didn’t think it was.
Damon was warm. So warm and so good. Alex pressed his body against Damon’s, a little more flush and slipped his fingers under the hem of the vampire’s shirt, gently sighing against him as he felt the smooth heat of skin.
“It’s always cold,” he said. Could Damon feel it in Alex’s fingertips? When Alex was alone, he was with his dreams and he woke up frozen and wet, almost every morning. When he was with Damon and Thomas, or Damon alone, his nights were dreamless.
***
Damon sighed. It was always cold, and he didn’t want Alex to be cold. There was something rattling around in his head, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was a good idea. “You could stay with us for a couple days.” He wasn’t sure if Alex would want to, but sometimes it was better just to be present.
He felt something hard, metal between them and looked down at the tags. Alex hadn’t said anything, but these were new. “Are the dreams back? These look old.” He didn’t have a good look, but judging size and shape, they weren’t current. His fingers touched them, although he didn’t move away from Alex to do that.
***
The question made Alex look at Damon.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. He’d love to get the hell away for a couple of days. Granted, he’d have rehearsals, then night shifts at the clinic, but that might actually be helpful.
“They never left,” Alex answered about the dreams. Before, he wouldn’t have opened up to Damon about these things, but with Damon touching the tags, he said simply: “They’re Tommy’s.” Alex had his own tags somewhere, along with Gibson’s and now he had Tommy’s. A complete set.
His hands left that warm skin and he pushed one through his own curls. “If we’re going to yours, will you cut my hair first?”
***
“That was your friend,” Damon remembered. He didn’t know everything, really only what Alex had told him, and Tommy was that kid that he couldn’t seem to get out of his head. Although he didn’t know Tommy, he had figured if the kid were to ever show up, neither he or Leon would stand a chance. “That’s a good thing from the dreams.”
He liked the idea of having Alex around for a few days, maybe a week, or they’d just see how it went. It was comforting, and he was sure Thomas would agree, as weird as it seemed. He also had plenty of room at the sprawling ranch house.
“You want me to - ,” he stroked the dark curls. “Why do you want me to do that?”
***
Alex hummed at the feel of Damon’s fingers sifting in his curls. He let his eyes fall shut and left them that way. Hiding from Damon hadn’t ever worked and when he’d tried before, Damon had seen right through him, so why hide?
“If you keep doing that, then I don’t want you to,” he said softly.
***
The only time Alex had gotten away was when Leon was there the first time. Damon had walked away, and he hated it. Fate intervened when Alex went to jail. He became the one to get him out because he loved him. He hadn’t done it for right or wrong, but for love, even if it wasn’t his to take and even if he lost.
“I like your hair like this. It’s you. Not as much when you were younger,” he teased lightly. “Don’t cut it.”
***
“Fine,” Alex gave in, somewhat easily. He wanted to argue a little because sometimes, it was just fun to do, but he also sort of wanted to get out from these four walls. “And I’ll have you know that I had a magnificent floof when I was younger,” he added, opening his eyes.
He leaned in and touched his lips to the corner of Damon’s mouth, not kissing him directly on the lips on purpose. Not without Thomas there and, even when Thomas was there, it would have been more on the chaste end.
“Let me just pack my tampons,” he joked before pulling away and moving to pull on a t-shirt, leaving the dog tags tucked into it. He chose a couple changes of clothes, scrubs, work shoes, his toothbrush and toothpaste, and pulled his hair back to clip it in place so it wouldn’t fall into his forehead and annoy him. Instruments were left where they were since he’d be back for rehearsals. He still wasn’t sure it was a good idea to come spend a couple of nights, but he wasn’t opposed to it either and he could go if he started to feel like he should and he wouldn’t be around much anyway. That he wouldn’t have to come back here after work for his naps was at least something.
“Ready,” he announced, patting his duffle bag.
***
“Your floof was interesting.” It was just so weird to see, so unlike the guy he knew so well.
Damon chuckled when he mentioned the tampons. He was glad they all knew each other now. In a lot of ways it was easier, and sometimes it was also hard, but it was much better than any alternative. “Why don’t we take one of these?” he asked, picking up a guitar. “You can sing for me, or practice. Either one.” They might be the same thing.
“Come on, lock up and we’re out of here.” He kept his hand on the guitar, just in case.
****
Damon wanting Alex to sing for him only made Alex want to pull Damon’s tongue into his mouth and give it a suck. Instead, he settled for feigning annoyance with a heavy, overly dramatic sigh and a roll on his eyes.
“If you insist,” he drawled, hefting his bag onto his shoulder.
He nodded to the guitar, but grabbed it in his other hand to take along with them. It was placed into its gig bag and Alex put that on his shoulders, too.
“Now I’m ready,” he declared. Once they were out of the apartment, Alex locked up “I’ll follow you in my truck.” He could leave it here, but he rather liked being able to drive himself different places and didn’t want to rely on Damon or Thomas or an Uber.
***
Damon knew the reaction because he felt it. What they couldn’t do, they found other ways to express. It didn’t kill the desire, but kept embers burning. He didn’t care if they continued to smolder. He wanted them to, no matter how torturous.
“Let me carry stuff at least.” He returned an eyeroll smiling, and reached out for his hair. “I’m glad you are coming home.” Home. It might be temporary but it didn’t have to be.
****
Home?
Alex stared at the vampire after he handed his duffel bag over, his head tipping back at the feel of fingers in his hair again, holding him there. Damon’s gaze held him down even more. It always had. Did Damon ever notice the way Alex had to look away when he had bad news, if only enough so he didn’t have to look at those eyes?
“Jesus,” Alex breathed finally. He smiled some and shook his head. Yes, let them keep burning. It was how they both liked it. First, they needed to get the hell out of there.
***
Damon noticed a lot of things in the younger, made note of them over the last few years. Some burned into his memory - most if he was honest. Those looks now conveyed the things that stayed quietly bubbling under the surface. The touches did the rest of the work.
“Yes?” he teased, lingering always moments too long. “Come on. Let’s do this. I’ll even make dinner when we get there.”
***
Being able to breathe around Damon was always exceedingly difficult. Damon had to be the one to pull enough away that Alex could think or move or do anything else other than look at him. Dumbly, at that.
Alex ran his tongue between his lips, his eyes fluttering until Damon finally released him enough that his head wasn’t swimming.
“Generous today,” Alex commented, though Damon was pretty generous every day. “No noodle burgers this time, though.” How had he eaten that? Whatever. They were finally leaving. To go home.
***
“Hey now, they were creative,” the vampire smiled. “Maybe not gourmet, but I can kind of cook. Just be prepared for a lot of rare meat.” He laughed again - joking really. Vampires still ate regular cooked food, but he didn’t have to explain that. He was just talking to keep his brain far enough away from the way Alex melted him.
“We’ll come back and get more stuff later,” he said, taking bags in one hand and opening the truck with the other.
He felt like he should have done this a long time ago and it was a relief.
***
“I’m only staying a few nights,” Alex reminded him. If he went back for more stuff, that meant more time and he wasn’t going to move in with his ex and Thomas. That would be a very bad idea, for everyone.