❄️❄️❄️Frozen Fractals❄️❄️❄️ (show_yourself) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2020-06-26 07:04:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, elsa of arendelle |
Who: Elsa
What: Going to Ahtohallan
When: 6/26/2020 around 4pm
Where: trabuco canyon
Ratings/Warnings: PG-13, some mentions of past abuse
Elsa had snuck away as soon as she'd heard the call. It was the same voice as in her dreams, and it called from east instead of north. Which meant she probably didn't need to worry about fighting a stormy sea. But it was still several hours drive and she took her car as far as she could go, before parking it beneath a copse of trees. Getting out, Elsa closed her eyes and listened. Firing off a quick text message, she then locked her phone in the car and started to hike. This area was nothing like Arendelle, but she was still able to make her way through the canyon.
The air grew colder the longer she walked, until she saw it. Rising above her was the familiar glacial shape of Ahtohallan. Between her and it was a wide, lazy stream.
Elsa took a breath; and then was rammed by something big and heavy. She skidded along the ground and then rolled to her feet, fists up and ice forming armor around her chest and legs.
The Nokk stamped his hooves in the stream, movning back and forth in an effort to prevent her from passing. Elsa felt pity for the poor thing. He belonged with the sea, not locked away in a stream.
Slowly, she approached him, hands out and palms up, "Hey, hey it's me. Elsa. I'm the Fifth Spirit. You're my friend."
Lowering his head, the Nokk huffed, but stood still, until she got close and was able to touch his snout and neck. She let her powers partially freeze him so that he could come onto dry land. "I don't know why you or this place is here, but can you take me there?"
He huffed again, allowing her to mount him; it was a little strange at first, doing this here and not in the dreams, and she had more of a chance to really think about it as they cantered towards Ahtohallan.
She really hoped she didn't die, but if that was what it took to stop the fog and let everyone be free, then she'd do it.
And maybe, as long as she didn't dive too deep, there'd be other answers for her.
Leaving the Nokk at the entrance, Elsa rushed inside, getting the feeling like she'd been here before. Her steps still existed, and the pillars she'd put back into place were still standing. So she was able to walk directly into the hall of memories.
And she needed a moment, standing there, watching as the people from her past lived her memories over and over again. There was her and Anna playing in the snow. Their parents. And many others.
There were also memories from this life, many good, some bad. She approached Anna, standing alone in front of a coffin and clutched her hand over her chest, "Anna, I'm so sorry."
It was useless here, and didn't make her feel any better, so she turned away from that memory, and others of Anna's that felt too personal and privet. Besides, she didn't deserve them.
Elsa walked deeper, until she heard a familiar voice. But it was too late to stop it, too late to avoid witnessing her trauma at the hands of her ex's father. She was over this, she told herself, she was fine.
But she lashed out all the same, shattering the memory as she'd done to Hans.
Maybe she wasn't fine, and maybe she'd never get over it. Elsa slid to her knees and wrapped her arms around herself. Her therapist had told her these feelings were normal. She'd also told her that they were what made her so gun-shy to admit feelings to other people.
Maybe they were part of the reasons she couldn't bring herself to call her sister. After all 'hi it's been years how are you? I have super powers and I was kidnapped drugged and abused by my ex-girlfriend's dad also I'm gay' seemed like a tad much do dump at once and that was without getting into 'I know I ghosted you and you hate me' and all that related stuff.
There was a lot to unpack here, Elsa thought. She bit her lip, then forced herself to get to her feet. She even forced herself to recreate the memory she'd destroyed. She walled it off, still, but she kept it intact. Not knowing if others might try to enter, Elsa set about blocking off all of her family's memories.
Ahtohallan might even show different things to different people, but she wasn't going to take that chance, not with something so personal. She'd share this with Rapunzel, maybe. Anna, certainly, if they ever reconnected.
But no one else should see these things (and her ex deserved her privacy, too).
When Elsa stepped outside again, the fog was gone.