Moira Mactaggert Says Och (moiramactaggert) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-10-20 13:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, moira mactaggert, obi-wan kenobi |
"How much dae ye smoke? What dae ye eat?"
Who: Moira and Obi-wan
What: A physical, and Moira being sneaky
When: Saturday morning
Where: Moira's lab
Status: complete
Rating: PG-13 for really cold instruments.
Riding the elevator up to Moira’s labs and offices, Obi-Wan thumbed through a thick folder of papers. The medical insurance company’s logo was on each one of them. He’d never had to pick his own plan before, but he’d navigated the process well. He wasn’t looking for a plan that included fifty chiropractic visits a year or acupuncture; but he also wasn’t scraping the bottom of the barrell.
The only thing was, when one wanted slightly more than bottom-of-the-barrell insurance, one was required to get a physical. Obi-Wan saw it as a complete nuisance. He had never felt better in his life. He wondered if he might be able to talk Moira into signing a few papers and letting him get on his way in the next fifteen minutes.
Moira was waiting. Obi was one of Kitty’s best friends and she was all too happy to help. Besides, doing a routine physical, after some of the things she’d been working on lately, would be a welcome break. She smiled when he came off the elevator, and pulled out some equipment from the freezer, like she’d promised.
“Welcome lad! Have a seat!”
Obi-Wan had not seen Moira since the mission to rescue Neena, but her accent had a way of making him feel right at home -- as did the gag about the frozen medical instruments. He had expected no less. He sat down with a sigh and resigned himself to the fact that he was not going to get out of this without an actual exam.
Oh well. It wouldn't hurt to make sure he was healthy. "Aye, doctor," if replied, not sounding nearly as Scottish. He passed her the forms she needed to see. "If you could just sign these, I'll be on my way."
Moira laughed, taking the forms and looking them over, "Och, they want everythin' an' t'kitchen sink! When was yuir last prostate exam?"
She said this, entirely seriously. She put the papers down and swiveled her scanner over, adding, "Lucky for ye this little device can take care o'that for us, tae."
Well, points for her -- Moira had actually caught Obi-Wan completely off guard. His voice actually squeaked as it caught. "What?" He cleared his throat. "I've never had one. Was I supposed to by now?"
He was completely serious as well.
“How old are ye?” She asked, simply.
It was a legitimate question. People usually guessed wrong. "Forty-three."
“Then yuir a wee bit past due,” Moira replied. “It’s a good idea when ye get close tae forty is all. Just want tae make sure nothin’s wrong down there as ye get older, just like a woman an’ her breast exams.”
Obi-Wan nodded, knowing it was the only thing he could do. He wasn’t about to put up a fight over a routine exam. “Alright then.”
"Don't worry, I won't be stickin' anything up ye bum." Moira positioned the scanner in front of his chest, "T'wonders o'dream technology, aye?" She started up the scanner and then began to do normal, routine examinations. With a freezing cold stethoscope.
Modern science was a marvel, but Obi-Wan still liked to keep it at a distance. He bit on the tip of his tongue the cold metal touched his skin. “Ah... shite...” he mutterd, but he followed it by chuckling. She really hadn’t been kidding.
Moira chuckled as well. By the time she was done, the scanner was done, and she peered at it, "Och." She clucked her tongue, and tsk'd a few times, "Oh laddie. Ye've got high blood pressure an' ye cholesteral is dangerously high."
The squeak in his voice made a sudden reappearance. “Wait? What?” His eyes looked dazed and confused. “That’s not possible. I feel fine.”
"How much dae ye smoke? What dae ye eat?" Moira asked, clinically. "Yuir diet is probably shite."
Obi-Wan knew he didn’t look like someone’s whose diet was shite, but looks were easily deceiving. He suddenly felt a little weak over the news, as if the years were catching up all at once. He really was getting old. It wasn’t just something to make tongue-in-cheek comments about.
“Eh...” He scratched the back of his neck. “...I get a lot of things on the go.” That was code for I had two Egg McMuffins on the way over here. “And I smoke... a few packs a week...”
"A few packs?!" Moira looked incredulous, "Well ye need tae start improvin' yuir diet and quit smokin'. There's nae if ands or buts about this, lad." She poked him in the chest, "Ye've got many years yet, if ye start now. We'll figure out a diet for ye an' I promise it won't be bland. We need tae get these numbers down."
There was something about a woman speaking forcefully with a Scottish accent that was able to instantly subdue him. Obi-Wan wasn't reminded of his mother, but there were several matriarchal ladies who had given him a good scolding as a child. He didn't hve is tail between his legs, but he wasn't even considering arguing with Moira.
Obi-Wan rubbed his temples. If anything, his blood pressure was climbing even now. "Okay... Alright... Yes, definitely."
"I'll get ye t'patch an' some pills tae help with the blood pressure and cholesteral," Moira said, quickly filling him in with rapid-fire facts and side-effects. She didn't think it would be a problem with him getting insurance, especially if there was a plan in place. It wasn't like he'd be denied for pre-existing conditions any more.
Obi-Wan steeled himself. He enjoyed being given concrete directives, which was different than directions. He wasn’t as good with those. He nodded at what he caught of Moira’s list. He’d process the rest at home. “I guess I’m not treating myself to a fried pie on the way home...”
"Och, hell no! Feck's sake at least have regular baked goods." She cuffed him playfully on the shoulder, "Yuir lookin' pretty good otherwise. Can ye do me a weeeeeeeeeee favor, though?"
“What’s that?” he asked, not dreading it, but almost.
"Keep an eye on Dani, an' any o'the others ye spend time with. Let me know if any o'them say they feel weak, or tired. Or if ye see any sores." Moira's voice was deadly serious, "Ye cannot let them know, I dunnae want tae make anyone panic when I've nae proof there's need tae panic yet. But I need tae make sure."
It was an abrupt adjustment to make in the conversation. A jarring turn. Dani’s name echoed in his brain, drowning everything else out. “What? I’m going to need you to explain that. Now.”
"There's a virus I've dreamed about. It affects mutants. My greatest fear is that it makes a showing here. So I want tae keep tabs."
Obi-Wan stared her down, his face blank except for his eyes, which had been ignited with fire. Blue flame burned hottest of all. “Are you telling me that Dani’s at risk? And I’m not supposed to tell her?”
"She's at less of a risk as ye are o'gettin' ebola, calm down!" Moira realized, she shouldn't have said anything, but she'd felt she'd needed to know if more than Illyana had contracted it. She just didn't want to violate Illyana's privacy in the process.
Obi-Wan snorted and turned away, closing his eyes briefly. He shook his head. “I’m sorry... I can’t keep this from her. Unless you give me a very good reason. But if I ask her to keep it between us, she will.”
"It's tae protect someone's privacy," Moira said, relenting.
He took a deep breath and tried to center himself. He tried to think objectively. But even then, he knew he couldn’t make a promise to Moira he could keep over his promise to Dani. “I’m sorry... If you don’t tell me who it is, I won’t have to lie about anything. But you have to understand. I cannot keep anything from her. I just.... I won’t” He was calmer now, or at least quieter, but his voice was still firm.
"I understand. I shouldnae have said anything, but this is just tae important. I have the cure in me head I just have tae...translate it tae this world. It's nae easy. I could be just paranoid."
Obi-Wan breathed a sigh and lowered his head. He ran a hand over his beard and tried to nod, but his head was only able to hang. “Perhaps you should have kept it to yourself. I will use as much discretion as I can. And I am certain Dani will, as well. But I’m done with keeping secrets from her.”
Moira sighed, and nodded her head, “Just tell her nae tae speculate. Nae one is actually sick, but I believe in bein’ cautious.”
That, was a bald faced lie, but she’d deal with that later.
"That's... fine," he said soberly. He wasn't about to go and immediately call Dani on his ride down the elevator. He needed time to think. A lot of time. He'd meditate before he did anything.
"Och, this is a hell of day to quit smoking."