InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Don't abandon me. Never."

John Murphy [The 100] (thefleimkepa) wrote in valarlogs,
@ 2020-05-21 13:22:00

Entry tags:

!complete, !partner thread, john murphy, marguerite blakeney

Who: Marguerite and John
What: Catching up
Where: Cafe/Coffee Shop
When: Thursday, May 21
Warnings: Not likely, aside from talk of death and such
Status: Closed, Partner Thread

After the dream he'd had Tuesday night, John resisted sleep Wednesday night. Nathaniel had asked him to stay, and he had, and he would for as long as Nathaniel would allow it. He'd said as long as John wanted. John was of a mind to make it permanent, and hoped that would be the case. Time would tell, especially if John continued to have violent dreams that had him waking up gagged and bound. He honestly wasn't sure how much more of that he could take, and he had a new appreciation for the person he'd talked to that said she'd woken up in a pool of blood after a dream.

His attempts to prevent deep sleep had been effective, but it left him feeling groggy and off balance. He had things he needed to do, errands to run and what not, and that meant coffee was a priority. There was a quaint little shop in town that he favored, in part because one of the baristas knew ASL, and if she was working, John wouldn't have to focus on lip reading to order. He would be able to focus better after he had the coffee, but of course the way his luck seemed to be going, his sign-able friend wasn't there, and he had to focus to order.

He thought about leaving, but no. He didn't just want coffee, he needed it. He got in line to wait his turn. Looking around to keep his mind occupied while he waited, he noticed a familiar face and gave a little wave. He hadn't seen Marguerite for a while, but it was definitely nice to see someone he knew.

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-23 02:57 am UTC (link)

The conversation with John on the network had been, well... Marguerite did her best to live her life and not put much stock into her Dreams. It had been nearly two years (two years exactly would be in a week) when the last set had happened, when she had died both in them and in the waking world, so it wasn't like they could hurt her anymore. Even with the repeats. But between the fact she was nearing the anniversary of her death and just the conversation at hand, the actress had been in need of coffee before she went back to work.

Even so, she had to be vaguely amused by the fact that it ended up being the same coffee shop that John had found himself at. That was Orange County for you after all. Always with things that in any other place would be considered a coincidences. Those didn't exist here though. So instead she just gave a small smile and nod to him as he noticed her.

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thefleimkepa
2020-05-23 02:39 pm UTC (link)

After ordering his coffee and waiting for it at the counter, John made his way to over to Marguerite. He felt a little less tense for seeing her, because she was someone he knew and someone who understood how the dreams could affect a person because she'd dealt with it too.

"It's good to see you." He spoke as he sat down, assuming she would tell him if she was busy or waiting for someone else to come and sit with her. Seeing someone face to face was so much more rewarding than a conversation on the network.

He set his coffee on the able, freeing his hands so he could also sign. "How are you?"

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-23 04:33 pm UTC (link)

There was definitely something about a face to face conversation, versus one that was had on the network. Oh, she appreciated the network because there were friends there, answers to things that happened in Orange County that would otherwise be covered up, and then of course those who understood the Dreams and what they could do. After all, hadn't that been one of her reasons for returning after she had moved to New York to be on Broadway and then Paris for the chance to perform at the Comedie Francais, just as she had in her Dreams? There was a loneliness in a way that was hard to describe being away from those who knew the Dreams. So of course it would make sense that it would be less stressful and more rewarding than on the netwrok.

Smiling as John came over, she had been about to motion he sit down when he did just that.

"You as well. I'm okay. You?"

Yes they'd gone over a lot of it on the network already, but again, there was a difference when one was communicating face to face versus through a computer screen.

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thefleimkepa
2020-05-25 02:24 pm UTC (link)

He nodded, the bruises that marked his neck showing. Part of him had wanted to stay home and hide from the world, with home being Nathaniel's place. Nathaniel had been amazing, had made all the difference. Because of how Nathaniel had helped him and taken care of him after the most recent dream, John was functional now. He wasn't sure he would be functional at all, if he'd woken up alone.

"A bit sore, but all right," he told her. He had no idea how his voice sounded, but his throat felt raw. He soothed it with throat drops and hoped the coffee would help as well. He was pretty sure his voice sounded rough, but at least it didn't really hurt to talk.

Being face to face was definitely different than talking over the network. It was more personal, more real. The connection to the other person was more intense, more comforting. It helped that John felt comfortable with Marguerite to begin with.

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-25 03:37 pm UTC (link)

While Marguerite noticed the bruising around John's neck, she made no comment on it. She knew that if it came up, it would be on John's timeline. She was simply here to have coffee and enjoy a good conversation and try not to think too much of her own Dream related death and how that had crossed over for her. The Dreams were tricky like that. You never knew what would cross over and what would just be a traumatic memory.

"That makes sense. It's not an easy thing to deal with after waking."

Her own death had been different, perhaps not so violent but it had lasting repercussions for her life and if she and Percy decided to start a family. But having been in the system herself with Armand and having been lucky enough in being placed in a good home, she knew that adoption would always be an option and one Percy was more than fine with.

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thefleimkepa
2020-05-25 04:16 pm UTC (link)

He hadn't actually died in his dream, though it was a near thing. He had been worried that dying in the dream meant dying in the waking world, but that didn't seem to be the case. It was a small comfort, because he had a feeling the fact his dream self didn't die meant he had a lot more hell to go through.

"It was quite distressing." He was clearly still distressed. He would probably be out of sorts about it for a while. Being hanged wasn't something that could be swept under the rug. But he also didn't want it to consume him in his real life.

He tried to tell himself it was just a dream, but that was a hard sell given the very physical reminders he was left with.

He sighed and shook his head. "But how are you? I feel like it's been a while since we had a chance to catch up."

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-25 04:30 pm UTC (link)

There was that old saying that to die in your dreams was to die in real life and Marguerite knew it tended to vary person to person. Some nearly died, some didn't, or some did and they just happened to be lucky enough to know a magic user who could bring them back to life. At least that had been the case for her. But it was also why she had filtered the comments. Armand was on the network and that particular fact was something she planned to keep from him.

The actress gave a small, sad smile. After all, she knew how that could be.

"I know. Especially so soon after the fact."

It was something that would eventually be a thing that happened and not quite so present. But at the moment? It was easily still distressing.

"Outside of our conversation on the network, I'm well. Keeping busy. How about you, outside of traumatizing dreams and taking a break from acting?"

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awarinyourhead
2020-05-26 02:42 am UTC (link)

"I have a new boyfriend." He wasn't really sure that was accurate. He and Nathaniel were definitely close. Nathaniel had asked John to stay with him, after his most recent dream,and John had agreed. They kissed, but hadn't done much more than that.

John wanted to call Nathaniel his boyfriend. Maybe he should talk to Nathaniel about it before he started telling other people, but well. It felt right.

"I'm staying with him, now. Partly so I'm not alone when I have another dream." When he had another dream, not if. His story could be finished, certainly, if he died. But he didn't think that it was finished.

He took a sip of his drink.

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-26 02:46 am UTC (link)

"Oh?" Brow quirking up, Marguerite smiled, "That is definitely something exciting." What could she say, the actress was a romantic at heart. Plus she was very much 'live each moment like your last', even before the whole death thing. So to hear about a friend with a new romance? Why wouldn't she be happy for John?

As for why he was staying there? She nodded.

"That makes sense. It can help having someone there when you wake up..." But she did notice the use of the term when. So either he was just deciding he was going to keep dreaming and it wasn't his actual end, had realized that there was a feeling to finality that he had not experienced or....just hoping. It was hard to say.

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awarinyourhead
2020-05-26 03:10 am UTC (link)

"It is very exciting." He had no idea what would come of it, but that was true of any new relationship. He was excited about it, and hopeful. And given how dark and depressing his dreams were, it was nice to have something positive to keep him from spiraling into depression.

Any further discussion about the dreams would have turned the conversation dark again, and he rather liked the positive feel that was prevailing now. "It's a little scary too, but in a good way. It's nice to have something to look forward to."

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-26 03:52 am UTC (link)

While no one could ever know what would come of a new relationship, it was still and exciting adventure all of its own. Some didn't work out but it was still enjoyable in the moment. And didn't they all need some fun and good in their lives? Something to hold onto when things then would get difficult?

"Well obviously. Anything unknown such as a new relationship will be scary in its own way. But that doesn't make it any less worthwhile."

After all, she and Percy had met rather similarly to their Dreams, at the backstage of a show and talking all night. Oh that kindling of young love and romance before they even truly knew it was happening. And now they were married.

"Which is always a good thing."

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awarinyourhead
2020-05-29 03:06 pm UTC (link)

"Definitely a good thing," John said. He was excited for it. To see where it went. Even if it fizzled out and nothing really came of it. At the moment it was the most important relationship in his life. He was going to make the most of it, for however long it lasted. Another day, a week, a month, years. It didn't matter, he was going to enjoy it.

"I won't keep you i you have things you need to get done." He was feeling like maybe he wanted to get home to Nathaniel now, after discussing the relationship. Just to see him, to reaffirm things. It seemed like the thing to do, now. He was a feeling a lot better about things over all, and wanted to share his good mood with Nathaniel.

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-29 04:19 pm UTC (link)

Smiling, Marguerite took a drink of her coffee. New relationships were always so exciting for people. There was thrill, adventure, just a sense of newness. So she was happy for John that he found one, even if no one could ever know what the future would hold.

"Well, I probably should get back to the outreach. Ilia might fight me for being gone too long." Sweet thing, Ilia. She'd gone through a lot and come out of it stronger and she knew the younger woman wouldn't actually care. The appointments for the day weren't many but there were always walk ins as well.

"It was good to see you, though."

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awarinyourhead
2020-05-29 04:52 pm UTC (link)

"You too." He smiled. He'd try to make a point of keeping in touch. He considered her a friend, after all. He was just terrible about keeping in touch. He couldn't exactly pick up the phone and call someone, but he could text. He just needed to do that more.

"Take care, Marguerite." He got up and headed out, feeling a whole lot better than he had when he'd gone in to get his coffee. Having a face to face with an old friend could do that, he supposed. He was very glad he'd run into her.

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blazeinhereyes
2020-05-29 04:56 pm UTC (link)

That was the trick, remembering to keep in touch. Marguerite had a tendency to get caught up in whatever show she was involved with, or the work she did for Natasha when she had the time (something she should reach out to the other woman about at some point) and then of course the work at Pimpernel Outreach. But with John on the network, it would be easier.

So the theory went.

"You, too." Finishing up her own coffee, the actress go up and headed back to Pimpernel Outreach.

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