InsaneJournal

Who: Gareth Visser & Billy Kaplan
What: Grizz gives into the impulse to kiss Billy after his less than wonderful dream
When: After this post
Rating/Warnings: Low | None
Status: Log | Complete

Billy might not have commented on the journal post, but that was largely because he was chewing his thumb trying to work out what he could do that might be more practical and helpful. He got stuck after ‘maybe food will fix it’ because honestly, Grizz had been such a rock for their entire friendship that seeing him even remotely close to cracking was weird and Billy didn’t know what to do.

So he ordered pizza - Grizz’ favourite - to arrive in an hour and he made them both a cup of hot chocolate, borrowing whipped cream from their neighbour (and ignoring the meaningful, and confusing, eyebrow wiggle he got when he was told don’t worry about bringing it back, just replace the entire canister) and successfully making a nice warm comfort drink. Even though they lived in California there was something particularly great about hot chocolate.

Tapping on the door before pushing it open slightly, Billy called out, “Knock knock? Can I come in, Grizz?” He knew he sounded as worried as he felt, the post on the network was pretty harrowing and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Grizz was feeling. “If you don’t want company I promise I won’t stay for long.”

Grizz had not been lying to anyone when he’d said he’d be in his bunk as he was pretty much buried in his bed and literally the only things that could be seen of him were the tips of fingers and a few errant strands of dark hair.

Vaguely he was aware that there was a light knock at his door accompanied by the appearance of one Billy Kaplan who sounded as worried as Grizz imagined he looked. In hindsight maybe posting what he had on the network hadn’t been such a great idea. He’d just needed to get it off his chest sooner rather than later or he felt he might explode or implode he wasn’t sure which.

“M’coming out,” he mumbled as he reached for the edge of his bed covers and began to emerge like some sort of swamp creature, the hair was pretty much the same. He brushed the back of his hand across his eyes as he was aware just how red they were from the obvious thing of crying because how could he not with what happened?

Billy used his telekinesis to float the drinks over to the table next to the bed and then without really thinking about it sat down beside Grizz and tugged him into a firm hug, fingers threading into the loose lengths of his hair and holding him close.

“No one said you had to come outta blanket-town,” he said softly, pushing his fingers reassuringly through Grizz’ hair. “I’d have just sat next to you if you wanted company.”

Grizz all but folded into Billy’s arms readily accepting the comfort that was being offered. He didn’t really buy into the whole “you’re a man so suck it up” philosophy and who didn’t like hugs? Crazy people that’s who. His eyes closed at the sensation of Billy’s fingers in his hair and a slow breath escaped him.

“I probably should,” he rumbled into Billy’s shoulder. “I’ve been in blanket town for a long time now.”

“Blanket town is my second favourite place to be,” Billy reassured him, tightening his arms around Grizz as the taller folded into him. Since the movement of his fingers seemed to be helping - if the breath exhaled against his throat (which absolutely made him shiver a little) was any indication - Billy repeated it, fingers twining through the strands and his nails raking lightly over Grizz’s scalp in the hopes of being reassuring and hating himself for the fact that he was enjoying being allowed to play with the hair that had been taunting him for literally forever.

He nudged Grizz’s temple with his nose and then just rubbed his other hand up and down his spine. “So if you wanna retreat into there I’m not gonna be offended.”

“What’s your first?” Grizz asked, knowing it would help him to not think about that stupid fucking dream if he was busy thinking about something else. His eyes fluttered ever so slightly as Billy repeated the movement of his fingers through his hair and went one step further to include nails. It felt nice, really nice.

His grip flexed around the material of Billy’s t-shirt as he swallowed hard, hoping he’d be able to shake this shit sooner rather than later.

“It’s stupid,” Billy admitted, “but movie night.” He smiled a little, just letting his touch wander idly as it seemed to be helping. “It’s okay,” he added, feeling the way his shirt tightened under Grizz’s grip. “Sounds like your dream was fucked up so what do you need? I made you a hot chocolate, ‘cause that’s always good when you feel crap but if you just want a hug while I talk shit in your direction I can do that too…”

Grizz’s lips tugged into a small smile. “Nah, it’s not stupid. Movie night rocks.” Admittedly the idea of a hot chocolate sounded really good but having that would mean no longer hugging and being hugged by Billy which would definitely suck. “Well, I’m kinda good with this but you did put the effort in so I wouldn’t want to ignore that.”

He pushed out another shaky breath.

“Yeah, the dream sucked, a lot.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Billy said quietly, “but I can listen if you want. I mean you’ve listened to more than enough of my random nonsense.” His hand rested against the back of Grizz’s neck for a moment before he hummed. “Well, if this is working for you, we could just… shift back a bit and then you don’t have to let go? And you can enjoy the hot chocolate that I went and borrowed whipped cream from next door especially for?”

He cleared his throat. “The neighbour said I didn’t need to give it back, that I could just replace the whole thing. I don’t know how much she thought I was gonna put into hot chocolate…”

Grizz arched an eyebrow at the admission from Billy that their neighbour had made that particular commentary around the whipped cream. “Maybe she thought you were going to use it for something else,” he suggested. “But I like your idea about shifting back so let’s do that.”

He didn’t know what else his dreams had to offer but he was definitely hoping for no more watching people die because that was so many levels of not fun.

“What else would I use it for?” Billy asked, letting go of Grizz only to shuffle back and settle against the headboard. He wriggled a little to get comfortable and reached out for Grizz’s drink, handing it over, and then his own before lifting his arm again and offering for Grizz to settle against him once more if he wanted. “Here- c’mon, this way we can enjoy the fruits of my labour or whatever.”

“Well,” Grizz began as he took the drink with a smile. “Some people like using it in foreplay before sex. You know, putting it on somebody’s chest and licking it off or put it on something else, that kind of thing.” And he did in fact settle against Billy because why wouldn’t he?

He’d never done it but he knew people who had.

Billy nearly choked on his drink. He cleared his throat, swallowed and tightened his hold on the hot chocolate, wondering why their neighbour thought that they’d be doing that with the whipped cream?

“That-” Billy hesitated for a moment, other arm securing around Grizz’s shoulder before moving up to push through his hair again. “That’d explain why she wiggled her eyebrows at me.”

Grizz snorted softly. “Yeah, it really would.” He exhaled a breath as Billy’s fingers slipped into his hair again, tension vanishing off his shoulders as if by magic.”But I don’t get it, personally. I mean it’s super messy and I just don’t understand the appeal.”

Billy had to be blind not to notice how much Grizz relaxed as his fingers slipped into the strands. If it worked, he’d keep doing it, it wasn’t often he saw Grizz in any kind of state of distress. It wasn’t fun. “There’s a lot about,” he gently gestured with his other hand, “that stuff I don’t really understand.”

“I’ve only ever slept with girls,” Grizz shared with a shrug of his shoulders. “I did it because that’s what everybody else was doing and I figured that if I did it that I might like it and things would stop being confusing.” He snorted quietly and glanced up at Billy. “Newsflash, they didn’t.”

Billy snorted, “Yeah, never got the big deal about girls. But I guess I never- I didn’t even try to fit in.” He smiled at Grizz when he glanced up and wrinkled his nose a little. “I- yeah, I’m guessing it wasn’t- I- uh-”

Grizz’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he was certain that he’d seen a heated flush cross Billy’s cheeks and barely suppressed the smile which followed. “Nothing wrong with that,” he assured Billy. “I was in the jock crowd, you know?”

He sipped at his hot chocolate. “Not an excuse I know, but some sort of explanation.”

“Nothing wrong with following the crowd,” Billy reassured him, “as humans we just wanna belong. Find our crowd and be part of something.” But he wasn’t surprised that Grizz was a jock, he’d said it before and he still looked like a jock, carried himself like one. Thankfully, Grizz had a gentleness to him that Billy didn’t often associate with jocks.

He shrugged with the shoulder Grizz wasn’t resting against. “Plus, I mean, it’s not like people are lining up to hang out or be intimate with the adopted kid that gets tossed in the dumpster and locked in his locker and has a shrink for a mom, y’know?”

Grizz frowned when Billy admitted what his highschool experience had been like and shook his head. “That’s really fucked up. I’m sorry that’s the kind of experience you had.” If the jocks in his school were ever dicks (which was thankfully rare for the most part) Grizz had always stepped in and told them to stop being assholes. He was firmly of the belief that nobody should be treated like shit just because they didn’t “fit in”.

“So, you can tell me to fuck off or whatever, but have you ever kissed anyone?”

Billy shrugged again. “I’m a sort-of Jewish, adopted gay nerd. I was easy picking. You don’t gotta apologise for something you didn’t do.” Being friends with Grizz here had done wonders for him anyway, anyone that might have wanted to bully him (if such things happened at college) probably immediately thought twice on the basis that Grizz was tall and broad and looked like he could take someone in a fight. Besides, Billy had powers now, he wasn’t helpless.

He paused for a moment before he said, with a smile, “Yeah, fuck off.” But he added a second later, cheeks tinged pink, “No. Like I said, people aren’t exactly lining up.”

Grizz glanced away and regarded his hot chocolate like it did in fact hold all the answers to every question ever asked of the world and the universe since the Big Bang.

“People are stupid,” he offered with a shrug. “I mean, you’re a great guy who despite what he thinks is actually really good looking and has a lot to offer.”

Was there a hole he could go crawl up in and die?

Billy’s cheeks flushed again and he tipped his head down, resting his lips against the top of Grizz’s hair for a moment before he, too, stared into his hot chocolate like that would help him find and answer that wasn’t a joke or self deprecating or that would make things weird.

He settled for tightening his arm around Grizz and clearing his throat, “Uh- thanks, man, I- I mean I got you fooled pretty good huh? But I appreciate it. You too, you know.” He was gonna make some guy very happy.

Bravery was something easily done when there weren’t emotions involved and you didn’t have anything to lose. Now, Grizz? He didn’t consider himself a coward but honestly he’d definitely been erring on the side of caution. Probably a little too much.

Right, no more of that.

Grizz sat up, put his cup down on the nearby bedside table, and did the same with Billy’s before he took the plunge, emotionally, metaphorically and physically by slipping his hands into Billy’s hair and catching his mouth in a kiss.

Billy wasn’t quite sure what to expect when Grizz took the hot chocolate from him and put it down. He swallowed nervously as Grizz looked at him, closely, and moved in nearer and nearer. He was about to say something when suddenly, Grizz’s lips were pressed gently against his, fingers sinking into his hair, thumb skating along the underside of his ear, catching on his piercing only for a second.

He managed to draw in a sharp breath, a shiver running down his spine and the pause which was only a second as his brain ran through what is happening is this happening? Was it the hot chocolate? Was this because I said I’d never been kissed before? Why would he do this does he want to do this? Oh shit I should do something and- And then his brain went silent, blissfully and completely silent. Well, silent other than the pleased, echoing hum of Grizziskissingme.

His hand lifted and he leaned forward into the kiss, fingers pushing into those long strands as he ran on instinct and kissed back.

Honestly Grizz would have happily kept on Billy until his chest burned and his lungs screamed for air but the sudden loud and unexpected *bzzzzzt* which echoed through the apartment immediately broke the moment.

Wait, were they expecting somebody?

Grizz wasn’t but maybe Billy was?

“Uh, there’s somebody at the door,” he said dumbly as if it wasn’t obvious.

Billy blinked stupidly before he nodded. “I-oh- yeah. Pizza. I ordered pizza. I should-“

He reluctantly moved off the bed and chewed his lower lip as the buzzer went off again. He indicated with his thumb over his shoulder to the door. “I- I’m gonna get that.”

“Yeah, okay,” Grizz muttered unable to do anything else as Billy was already on his feet and moving. The kiss had been great but now? Now Grizz was starting to wonder if maybe he’d just screwed everything up.

Well, only time would tell, he guessed.