Marguerite Blakeney is clearly beyond scruples (blazeinhereyes) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-11-24 18:04:00 |
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There were literally no words to describe the sheer relief MJ felt at being on stage again. It didn’t even bother her at all that she wasn’t top billing -- Blanche was a vital role and after all, how did that expresion go? There were no small parts, only small actors.
Well. After her complete work melt down in New York, she didn’t want to be known as a ‘small’ actor anymore. It was time to get back to the core of what acting was about: entertainment, and the thrill of the stage. That was it. And she would crawl back up, slowly but surely. There was no pressure, no need to be the best because damnit, she was one of the best and it was about time she realized it.
Still. Even the best needed a break every once in a while.
Wiping her brow with her arm, she opened her water bottle and took a healthy sip. “This is intense,” she said to Marguerite, a twinkle in her eye. “Can you believe I actually forgot what the chaos of setting a show was about? It’s obviously been way too long.” She cleared her throat and stretched her neck from side to side. “I’m so excited for this, you have no idea.”
Marguerite really did enjoy getting to do shows with her friends. While she always loved getting to meet new people, work with them, there was just something about getting to work with friends and those she had strong connections with that seemed to bring some pop to certain character dynamics. Or in the case of her and Corey, there was just that easy ease between them that made playing opposite one another easy.
But she was especially happy that MJ had landed the role of Blanche. She’d been worried about her friend and had hoped this would be a good opportunity for her. She understood the siren call of the stage all too well.
With rehearsal finished for the day and goodbyes made to those who had been needed, Marguerite was heading back to get her stuff when MJ made her comment, which led to a grin.
“It’ll come back in no time. At least this isn’t a dance intensive show.” There was the saying of course, dive in feet first and all. But really now. Dance intensive shows after not being on stage for a while, especially if you weren’t keeping up with practicing? That would be brutal.
MJ was also very thankful for that. It was hard enough keeping up with the vocal training but to add dance to it? Especially in her little apartment? No way. “Very thankful for that, that’s for sure!” She reached for her bag, and tossed her water bottle back in, reaching for her sweater and running shoes. “How did you get here? Did you drive or did Percy drop you off? I walked, and am now wondering if I should go and catch a bus or ...well, walk.” She laughed. “The exercise would be good and it IS doing wonders for my head these days..”
Especially since she still hadn’t processed that other day with Peter. Okay, so it was a few weeks ago, but it was still in her mind. How could it not?
There were reasons Marguerite found places to work on dance, even if she could at least move things in her and Percy’s place if necessary. But she also was the type to keep up classes when she wasn’t involved in a show.
“Perhaps your next show.” Winking, Marguerite took a drink of her own water. As for how she got there?
“I walked from Pimpernel Outreach.”
After all, there was a lot that needed to be done there as well, so when the schedule allowed for it, the actress tried to split her time between that and the theatre.
“Always a tough decision. Especially as it’s dark out now.” It was that time of year again after all.
MJ always appreciated the upbeat positivity of her friend. It was one of the reasons why she really valued her friendship with Marguerite. After all, thinking of the next show … that gave MJ hope. Things were slowly making sense. Slowly. MJ made a face. “Winter. Is it better here than in New York?” The way it got cold and slushy and grey … no. She would be happy to not see any snow at all, actually.
“I realized the other day that I don’t know much of what’s around here. I don’t know where to go for a long weekend, or what hidden gems or treasures there are. It’s an interesting feeling, re-starting in your mid 30s.”
Even if they hadn’t had Vivez in the version of The Scarlet Pimpernel the two were in back in February, that whole mentality had still been part of Marguerite - long before the Dreams. You only have one life, so live it. Valar and Orange County gave that a bit of a twist and Marguerite herself had been brought back to life. But she had always been a woman deeply connected to her emotions and passions which could blow up in her face. But usually it just meant she remained positive and looking for the best, even when things were difficult and needed to be fought for.
“So about that… It tends to snow in December. Been that way for a few years now. But it’s not as slush and grey that you would find in New York.” That was always fun. But Orange County was Orange County like that. Most people were used to it by now.
“I mean, it really does depend on interests and what you want to do. Google and explore. Part of the excitement of starting over though.”
Even when Marguerite hadn’t necessarily restarted her life when she’d gone to New York and Paris, she’d still be acting after all, but new places and experiences and places to explore.
MJ nodded slowly as she pulled a hoodie over her clothes. Not quite jacket weather but it was crisp. She did make a slight face at the mention of snow, but with the climate being the way it was, there was no way to escape it anyways.
"What would you do, today? If you had to start again? Would you reinvent yourself? Take up carpentry?" It was a legitimate question, but MJ being MJ, she couldn't help but add: "I could see you as a romance novel model, windswept hair, heaving bosom and all."
Funny how easy it was for people to buy the explanations that came up when random things happened. Climate change made a wonderful scapegoat for the yearly December snow. Always December. Never before or after unless someone with ice powers did something.
As for the question.
“I don’t know. I do enjoy the work I do at Pimpernel Outreach, so I’d probably look at nonprofit work with women and children most likely.”
After all, she’d always had that drive to help people as well. To make a better life for everyone if she could.
MJ smiled softly at her friend. “You are an amazing human being, you know that?” This was said without the slight hint of envy or anything. There was a bright light within Marguerite, one that attracted people to her, that almost made people want to be better just by being around her.
“It always blows my mind how optimistic and open you are. You believe the world is inherently good. I wish I had that belief.”
Well of things to be called, Marguerite certainly hadn’t expected that. Good friend and all of that? Sure. But to the French woman, she was just as human as anyone else. Yes, she wanted to help people and did try to be optimistic about things, but it also threw her some.
“I think you’re talking about Percy. He’s far more likely to believe in the good. I just believe that if we fight for it, we can create the change we want.”
Though perhaps that was why they had worked so well. They both wanted to help. Then again, Marguerite had seen the lengths she would go to if necessary. But the fight was what mattered, when it was important. It was just making sure it didn’t turn into a nightmare as the Revolution had in her Dreams.
“I just want to do what I can.”
“You’re both amazing,” MJ re-affirmed strongly. “And that’s why you’re secretly my favourite people in the world. Don’t tell my parents.” She grinned and zipped up her jacket, hefting her gym bag over her shoulders. “Are you walking back to the outreach? I could head over there with you. Gives me an excuse to not sit around and think...and I could use your thoughts on something. I ...might have done something I shouldn’t have.”
Was that vague enough? MJ was doing a lot of things she shouldn’t be lately … but the whole Peter situation was ...yeah. Unexpected. And strange. And she had no idea what to do.
Laughing some, Marguerite nodded.
“Noted, I will not tell your parents that Percy and I are secretly your favourite people in the world.”
As for the question, the actress nodded.
“Yeah, I am. But of course you can walk with me.” Then MJ mentioned needing her thoughts on something and how she might have done something she shouldn’t have and well, the redhead was intrigued.
“Oh? Well, I’m always happy to give my thoughts on matters. Especially for friends.”
Marguerite was quite opinionated after all.
MJ gave an abashed look, refusing to say anything really until they were already walking, feeling a bit of comfort in being surrounded by nobody she knew.
“I slept with Peter.” The words came tumbling out, and she continued, knowing she was speaking quickly. “It was one time, I was actually sober, it happened after I was being followed by that dinosaur thing… anyways it happened and we haven’t really talked about it ...or really talked at all. It’s so weird. I don’t know why this is so weird. Should it be? Isn’t that a thing? Don’t people have these weird things with their exes that shouldn’t be exes? Oh god, tell me something positive can come out of this, because I have been agonizing over it.”
If MJ didn’t say anything soon, Marguerite would push. You couldn’t just say you needed to hear someone’s thoughts on something because you did something stupid and then not say anything. Marguerite wasn’t psychic or a mind reader. She’d gone through five sets of Dreams, but special abilities had not been part of the package.
Once something was said though? Well, the actress managed to not stop short and instead kept walking, letting the words sink in. That was…. Complicated. It wasn’t like Marguerite hadn’t had one night stands with an ex - which had turned out to be a whole drama but that was neither here nor there.
There was also concern about MJ saying she was actually sober since it made it seem as though that weren’t usually the case. Right. One issue at a time.
“I mean, people have weird things with exes that should be exes.” Case in point the one night stand back when Marguerite had first come back to Orange County to help her foster mother in the last months of her life and dealing with her estate after her death.
“As for something positive coming from it? You’d actually have to talk to Peter before that can happen. If you two just avoid one another because of what happened, well… it’s just an awkward dance of avoidance with no chance to go forward.”
Staring up at the sky as she gathered her thoughts, the actress shrugged and looked back to MJ as they walked.
“That said, I’ve always been a believer of second chances and love finding a way to come through if it’s meant to be.” She’d essentially told Caroline the same thing after everything with Tyler. There was no abuse, no signs to be worried about. So if MJ and Peter found their way back to one another? Well, then they found their way back to one another and perhaps they could learn from their mistakes and move forward together.
MJ was quiet for a moment. What Marguerite said made sense -- sleeping with exes who were exes was a bad idea if they were meant to be exes. And therein laid the problem.
“I don’t want to talk to him.” The admission was a surprise to MJ. “I don’t. It wasn’t good. It felt like I was going backwards in a way...Marguerite, I think I miss the idea of being in love more than I miss the idea of being with Peter.” She almost stopped walking, the shock of the statement weighed so much on her.
“I am feeling so many emotions right now, and I’ll be honest, I don’t know that I can cope with this very well. I am so thankful that I have this job and it can keep me busy … it’s ...wow. Do I not love him anymore? I’ve been in love with him for so long, and only him. I don’t know that I know how not to be in love with him.” A few tears slowly trickled down her face. “This is hard.”
Or not together. But it also seemed as though MJ were just having a realization as they talked. Which was also a good thing. And sometimes that was all it took. Just having someone to listen and point things out. Because if she didn’t want to talk to Peter?
“Then I think you have your answer. And it doesn’t have to be a bad thing that happened if it helped you to realize that it was more just going backwards for you and that it’s more the idea of love and Peter but not actually feeling it.”
Yes, she could find a positive spin. It may be a difficult situation to be in. But if it helped MJ come to terms with things? Then there was still something to it.
“Feeling emotions and being confused makes sense though. He’s been such a large part of your life, what does it mean if you’re moving on?” She had seen this plenty of time with other women in much worse situations than MJ. Peter was a good man, but sometimes paths diverged and there was nothing wrong with that. “Starting over, in all ways, is hard. But you aren’t alone and you can figure that out one day at a time.”
MJ nodded her head, listening intently to her friend before suddenly leaning forward and throwing her arms around Marguerite's shoulders in a tight hug.
"Thank you," she whispered loudly, swallowing hard. It was true -- she wasn't alone. She had Marguerite and Eddie. She had her career. She had everything she needed. Really.
Were there tears? She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I'll be okay. I know. This is a good thing. It is. And I mean, hey, at least I know I can move on, right? First steps."