Billy Kaplan (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} actualwizard_bk) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} valarlogs,@ 2019-10-20 12:52:00 |
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| Entry tags: | !complete, billy kaplan (wiccan), wanda maximoff (scarlet witch) |
Who: Billy Kaplan & Wanda Maximoff
What: Hot chocolate comfort
When: After this
Where: A small coffee shop
Rating: Low
Oddities in the dream world were not new for Wanda at this stretch of things. If anything she felt like maybe she’d had her share, not enough it seemed since they continued on, but enough that she didn’t feel she was entirely out of her depth to give advice or help on things with someone else experiencing it.
Billy’s superhero dreams had a kind of parallel to her own, although she went with villain than hero, still. It wasn’t too different.
She said her goodbyes to her classmates and carried her bookbag out to the main entrance of the building before glancing around for Billy. She didn’t mind if she needed to wait a little while, it wasn’t like she expected he’d be there waiting. Opting to not stand in the middle of the doorway though, Wanda crossed the stairs to a small bench, choosing to organise her books and things to ensure an easy carry -even though she could levitate it if she wanted, she didn’t really want to get too much attention right then and the red glow around her powers tended to do just that.
Billy was there, though he felt wildly out of place and had stolen Grizz’s grey hoodie because it was warm and oversized and pretty much exactly what Billy needed on a day when the world just felt like it was Too Much.
He wet his lower lip and pulled his hands out from where they’d been in the pockets of his jeans, twisting the black ring on his index finger as he watched the faces of people coming out of the main building, waiting for one he recognised. And he did. Wanda looked like her. The ‘her’ that he had met outside the crumbling, abandoned Avengers mansion, the ‘her’ who had dried his tears and told him he could stand up for himself.
She looked younger, but it was still her. It didn’t make approaching her any easier. But he did. He ignored the way his palms were sweating and his heart was hammering and his brain was screaming at him to leave before she realised that he was a weirdo and hated him, before he had a chance to mess this up.
He cleared his throat and moved towards the bench, stopping a foot or so away and rocking back onto his heels.
“Hey,” he said, shyly. “You- uh- do you want me to carry anything for you?” He went for a wry grin but it looked just as shy as he felt. “I’m not quite as weak as I look.”
“Hi,” Wanda was much better about people coming up to her, especially if she were expecting someone. Packing the last of her stuff into her bag, neatly arranging it all, Wanda offered a grateful smile, “Thank you, really, but neither am I.” Considering she could put a little bit of her power into things and levitate the bag on her shoulder, she barely felt the weight at all.
Sliding the bag onto her shoulder, hiding the red glow with her hand on a strap, Wanda pushed some of her hair back off her shoulder, “I am very much needing this hot chocolate now,” it wasn’t an every day drink, but Wanda could appreciate how comforting it was. Hug in a mug kind of thing. “How has your day been?”
The dreams could really interfere with things like having a normal day, a normal life. It wasn’t always for the worse, not in Wanda’s opinion, but she knew that they could cause disruption just because of their content.
“Oh- I didn’t- I didn’t mean to suggest that you looked-” Billy looked aghast at the thought that he’d managed to insult her already, visibly spiralling a little and waving a hand in an attempt to calm himself down and diffuse the situation. His expression crumpled, “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I mean- I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. God, I’m not off to a good start.”
It was a good thing he hadn’t gone to class today, he dreaded to think what he would have done and how much of an idiot of himself he might have made.
He wet his lower lip, stuffed his hands into his pockets and lifted his shoulders, “I- I dunno,” he answered honestly, “I don’t- I don’t know how I am? I feel weird.” He swallowed. “How was class?”
“Billy it’s okay, calm down.” Wanda just shook her head, usually she was the one all uncomfortable and unsure, but she got the feeling that Billy was likely a lot keyed up at the moment. “You didn’t offend me, I didn’t take it personally, okay?”
Heading towards the cafe in question, Wanda tried to keep things somewhat upbeat, put Billy at east. “Weird is probably normal around about now.” Dreams were a plague on emotional stability, and it was probably difficult if Billy couldn’t talk about this kind of stuff with his therapist.
“It was good, everything devolved into an argument on hypothesis of nanovirus effects at the end, but that tends to happen with certain groups.” Wanda tended not to get involved in those. “It can be a little bit draining though.”
Billy relaxed a little when Wanda reassured him that he hadn’t actually insulted her. He breathed out heavily, rubbed the back of his neck and fell into step next to her, hand going back into his pocket so that he didn’t gesticulate wildly. He was also struggling with trying not to blurt out that she looked a lot like the woman in his dream, the one who had told him he could stand up for himself, who had made him feel so safe outside the abandoned mansion at a time when Billy had felt anything but.
But she was far too young to be that person, especially if she was still at college. He kicked a pebble and watched it skitter into the road as he followed Wanda and let her take the lead as she took them to the coffee shop.
“That… sounds really smart,” he told her honestly, “what’re you studying? My degree’s no way as brainy.”
She’d need to watch her comments while he was feeling out of sorts, but Wanda didn’t exactly make a lot of jokes that could be taken the wrong way anyway. “I’m majoring in biochemistry and molecular engineering with a focus towards nanotechnology.”
Wanda was told regularly that her course sounded smart. And science in general seemed to garner that response. She’d stopped taking it personally, like people didn’t expect her to be intelligent or something. She’d figured out that she didn’t exactly look the part either, her Eastern upbringing still clear in her clothes and hair and jewellery, so people tended to assume something ethnic. Toss in her accent and they often assumed she was a herbalist.
“I wouldn’t be able to study such a thing where I’m from, so I think it’s a blessing that I am here in California.” Toss in Tony’s generosity and Wanda had a lot going for her. “I am sure your degree is just as interesting and fulfilling, regardless of if people think it’s brainy.”
“There needs to be more women in STEM subjects,” Billy said with a little smile, “like, it’s such a male dominated field, I’m really glad that you’re gonna be there kicking butt, y’know? Like, that you’ll be out there making a difference and looking awesome while you do it.”
He cleared his throat, “Nanotech is so cool, I mean I don’t understand it but I really love science-fiction and that kind of stuff is all over science-fiction or, I guess, science-speculative fiction as some of it’s real.”
As if realising he was rambling, Billy’s cheeks caught and he kicked at another stone. It skittered into the road and chipped off a moving car wheel, coming back towards him, bouncing harmlessly off his shoe.
“Where are you from? If you don’t mind me asking?”
The STEM subjects were largely male, even her own class, there were maybe five females out of twenty four. She believed it was why she was given the additional assistance in remaining in class as well as she could. “That is very true, we are wildly under represented within the STEM programs.” And it wasn’t because they weren’t smart enough for it.
Of course, even as the small cafe came into view, quiet inside and a calm vibe outside in the cool September air, Wanda felt somewhat energised and giddy at the mention of nanotechnology. “The potential implementations in the medical sector is currently widely under explored.” And Wanda felt that places like her home would benefit greatly from compact and reliable nanotech in the medical field.
“I don’t mind,” they reached the cafe, the single sliding door opening before them as Wanda offered a small smile, “I am originally from Romania. I moved to America a few years ago.” Which was the short and nice version of her move to America.
“So I’ll see you getting a Nobel prize or something soon?” Billy said, “For fixing something with nanotech? I don’t- Sorry, I’m asking too many questions.” His heart was hammering, anxiety twisted with excitement and awe. She even sounded like the Wanda from his dreams, though he knew she couldn’t be he still felt like he was being a fanboy. He needed to calm himself down and stop being so weird; he wanted her to like him, not think he was a creepy weirdo.
He ducked his head, “After you,” he murmured, sweeping his hand gentlemanly out to indicate Wanda could head into the shop first and followed her dutifully. “I- uh, Romania? That’s pretty far.” He didn’t ask more even though he wanted to. If she wanted to tell him more, she would.
He fumbled for his wallet and pulled it out of his pocket, “Do you- uh- what do you want? My treat?”
“I think I am many years away from a Nobel prize.” She wasn’t sure she was that smart anyway, even if it was something her future work could lead to. “I don’t mind questions, Billy.” Of course she might need to get him to slow down if she was going to answer them all, but still.
Heading inside, Wanda offered the usual staff members a small smile and a tiny wave. They were a little used to Wanda in there, since she occasionally stopped by between classes for something to drink and a small snack before her next class. Usually, though, she was alone. “It is, yes. I was… There was unrest in my home, I was evacuated out after my house was bombed.” It wasn’t something that Wanda didn’t talk about, it was her journey to America after all, and sometimes people were judgemental about her type being in this country.
“A hot chocolate with honeycomb please, Billy.” She wouldn’t argue with him, but she’d find a way to repair the favour some time, possibly soon with her own treat for him.
Billy’s eyes widened a little, “That must have been so frightening,” he said, empathetic, brow creased in concern. “I can’t even imagine that. I’m glad, at least, that you could come here and be safe. Or safe at least from that kind of thing.” There weren’t many bombings in the US, even if there were a lot of other things that happened that maybe weren’t all that desireable. But there weren’t bombings and there wasn’t war.
He cleared his throat and then let out a surprised sound when Wanda requested her hot chocolate. “Seriously?” he asked, “I- man, I’ve never met anyone else who likes hot chocolate and honeycomb. Do you want anything else?”
He checked his wallet and then indicated that she should get a table; he would be over with the drinks shortly. He took a breath, pushed past the rumbling butterflies in his stomach that he’d trip and drop the drinks and end up ruining the afternoon.
It had been a terrible period of her life, the bombing and the recovery, the loss of her parents and the uncertainty around her brother and his whereabouts. In some ways, Wanda was lucky that she’d been able to get out, in others, she’d lost so much. It was a check and balance kind of thing. She’d been in a horrible situation and suffered much, but from it came opportunity that she never would’ve had otherwise. “I am glad I am able to be here too.”
Shaking her head, because she knew the staff put little biscuits with the drinks, Wanda started towards her usual table, “Just that is fine, thank you.” She was just as surprised that he liked the honeycomb in his chocolate, it was nice to share tastes with some people. She liked how sometimes, she’d find a little but of semi-melted honeycomb to crunch in her drink. And the added flavour was something to make it pop.
Settling in her usual booth, bag on the floor, Wanda quickly checked her phone for texts or missed calls, updated her reminders for her projects and sent a quick message to Hayley to let her know she might be late home that night, depending on how her drink with Billy went.
Billy only stumbled over his words twice as he ordered their drinks and carefully walked them over a couple of minutes later once they’d been made and placed on a tray for him. He chewed the inside of his lower lip, brows furrowed in concentration as he carefully made his way over to the table, placing the tray down and only then did he breathe out, having held his breath the whole way over.
He sat down opposite Wanda and waited for her to take her drink before he took his and put the tray on the floor on the other side of the table so he couldn’t kick it. He slid his wallet back into his pocket, hips lifting momentarily and then he folded his arms on the table as he tipped his head.
“Thanks again for, uh, agreeing to meet with me. I appreciate it.” More than she probably realised.
The drinks smelled fantastic, and Wanda sat quietly as Billy placed everything down, clearly taking his time to concentrate on what he was doing, so Wanda didn’t distract him at all. “It’s really no problem,” meeting up for something to drink, the offer to listen if Billy just needed someone to talk to about the dreams who wouldn’t think he was crazy, it wasn’t a hardship. “I enjoy your company.”
Which she did. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she didn’t really think it needed overthinking, but she enjoyed speaking to Billy. “I only have a few friends outside of class,” people she felt she could spend time with, there was Padme and Peter and Hayley. She didn’t really think Natasha was a ‘just to hang out’ kind of friend yet. She was still working up to it with Pietro. “So it’s nice to have someone to just talk to.”
And Wanda understood struggling with the events of the dreams, no matter how small they were. “Besides, I think having someone to talk to about the dreams is very important. You shouldn’t have to bottle that up.” Probably not healthy as powers developed.
Billy’s cheeks caught a little and he nodded, “Me, uh- I enjoy your company too, Wanda.” He drew his drink closer to himself and curled his fingers around the tall glass, enjoying the way the warmth flooded into his fingers.
“I don’t really have many friends either,” he admitted, tugging on his left ear and shifting on the seat. “I have maybe four? But that’s probably not a bad thing right now.” Considering his dreams made him feel off-kilter and anyone who wasn’t dreaming wouldn’t understand that. The friends he had made, he was very lucky to have done and knew that he was lucky.
He took a sip of his drink and then put it down again; still too hot.
“My house-mate’s dreaming too,” he shared, “but his dreams are so different to mine and I don’t wanna just talk at him.” He thought Grizz had enough going on in his own dreams to worry about Billy’s, and since this was… well, Wanda, she was more likely to understand how he felt. “I’m just- yeah, I’m glad to have someone to talk to about these things. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
Besides, Wanda.
“I read somewhere that less friends is better for you brain, because you can only form a certain number of deep connections. A core of five friends is about the best to aim for.” Wanda read a lot of psychology articles for fun, it wasn’t exactly a field she wanted to fully delve into, but she found the mind utterly interesting. Perhaps a side effect of her dreams of the experiments with the Mind Stone and how they affected her.
And for those of them who dreamed, finding friends that they could talk to these things about was complicated and hard. Wanda couldn’t just tell the people in her class about the psionic abilities she had. “At least your housemate understands what kind of things are prone to happening then, I think sharing a home with a non-dreamer would be quite the battle.” She’d had some trouble while she was in the dorms, after the dragon thing.
Living with Hayley, who fully understood the effects of dreaming, that was definitely more helpful.
“I really don’t mind, Billy,” Wanda reached across the table, placing her hand gentle on Billy’s arm, “I know how daunting it can be, dreaming of heroes and powers. If I can help you talk it through, I’m more than happy to listen.” Especially given she turned out to be a villain. Maybe she could make up for that by living this life as well as she could.
“My mom said something similar,” Billy said with a nod, “about having smaller numbers of friends.” Though he would have liked to have been more popular, or at the very least not bullied quite so much. But that was what he got for being himself, almost unreservedly.
He glanced down as she touched his arm and covered her hand with his own briefly before letting go so she could retreat across the table. But he felt safe here, like he wouldn’t be judged. She made him feel safe and the relief was so intense Billy felt his eyes burn slightly.
“I just feel a bit stupid, I guess? I woke up having dreamed that- uh, this superhero team that I really loved had broken up and I was heartbroken. I felt like someone had died and when I woke up I felt the same? Which just- it feels stupid, that even in a dream I’d be so attached to something that had so little to do with me. Or, at least, that I thought had very little to do with me.”
“Close friends, you can have a lot of friends, but just a few that you feel you can share lots with.” Wanda preferred it that way, she didn’t need lots of people, but a few very close friends, people she knew she could count on. She felt that was important.
Taking her hand back, confident that Billy understood her sincerity, Wanda gave her own drink a gently blow to let it cool. “It’s not stupid, these dreams are so realisitic, they become a part of us.” Wanda knew that it wasn’t just dreams, it was a whole other life, all these connections and emotions that came through. “They meant something to you, regardless of what version of you, it’s okay to be upset.”
Wanda felt the loss of her parents all over again with the dreams, and it felt just like losing them. She imagined it was likely the same for Billy. “We idolise people, we look up to them. Look at how upset people get when their favourite boy-band breaks up.” It wasn’t like Billy was the first person to be upset about a break up.
Well, Billy only really had one close friend, though he hoped he could eventually add Wanda and Blossom - and maybe Kara - to the circle. He wet his lower lip and listened, watching Wanda as she sipped at her drink, nodding when she spoke and looking very much like he was hanging on her every word. Which… he actually was. He caught himself and looked away, hoping she hadn’t seen him.
He swallowed, tapped his fingers on the table. “I- yeah, it- it’s all just weird. And-I miss the people in my dreams, too, I’m part of a team but they’re not here.”
“Maybe they’ll show up?” Wanda wasn’t part of a team as such, she mostly hoped that Baron Stucker and Dr List never showed up there, the implications of that would be terrible. But the people she knew from her dreams, well she supposed they were a team.
“The people in my dreams, they’re sort of here, and people that they know.” She’d worked out that Peter was dreaming of the same Tony as her, although from different points in time, and Peter was in space rather than on Earth, but they were in the same reality at least. “They come and go at different times, maybe one day you’ll be in the grocery store and just bump right into them.”
In Orange County, anything seemed possible.
Billy nodded, “It- it’s weird. And there are some people I recognise here but they don’t seem to know me. I suppose if there’s- if there’s really a multiverse out there then it’s possible that we’re all from similar but different places? The idea of infinite realities where we all exist but not in the same place or we’re not the same people?”
He frowned, “I just- yeah, you know it’s a lot.” He waved his hand. “Are your dreams okay? I mean- not okay as in happy because I don’t think anyone has those but I mean, they’re okay, right? And you’re okay?”
“That seems possible, considering,” she had the feeling that Logan knew a version of her, but she wasn’t dreaming about Logan, so she couldn’t tell if he was just to come later, “I think given the dreams are these strange lives, and we get powers through them, anything is possible.”
It was hard to tell what was behind the dreams or what they were all about, and while Wanda was rather good with science, she wasn’t all that familiar with theoretical dimensional stuff.
“They are…” Wanda searched for the English word, settling instead on the standard, “complicated.” That worked. “They mirrored part of my early life, in a sense, before taking a confusing turn.” Magic and science merged together, pain and pain and pain, and then the onslaught of red, constantly, as physics bent to her will. “They are not always good, but I have come to terms with compensating for that.” Being a villain in her dreams didn’t mean she had to be that in her life.
Billy nodded, “Mine too, in that some of the parts at the beginning mirrored what happened when I was a kid but it all changed when I hit high school. Cause of my powers and y- uh, this female Avenger that helped me with my powers. Like… not manifesting them but something like that?”
He chewed on his lower lip and sighed into his drink. “I mean… the people we are in the dreams… we aren’t them here.” Dream him, for example, was much braver than he would ever be, even with these powers.
It was strange how similar and yet how different certain dream worlds were. Avengers and super powers and heroes. “It sounds like you at least have some support in these dreams,” because imagine going it alone? That would be hard. Wanda was eternally grateful that she still had the connection to Pietro in the dreams. “And here, you have support here too. If I can help you with your powers, I will do what I can.”
Especially since Wanda was slowly but surely gaining control of her own powers.
“You’re right though, we’re not them, and we don’t have to be. We can be better than they are.” She had no intentions of making the mistakes her counterpart did, she would let go of rage and vengeance, she would stand for goodness rather than revenge.
Billy smiled a little, sipping at his drink. “I’ve got a lot of support in the dreams it’s just… we’re trying to find our feet? If that makes sense?” He wet his lower lip, “I wish there were some people from the dreams here.”
Wanda was here, and he hoped he could get to know her, but the Wanda he knew was different to this one, her history was different. She was older. He wasn’t disappointed, per se, but he didn’t quite know how to pin his emotions down.
“I hope your dreams get better,” he offered softly. “It sucks that we have these dreams and these powers but they’re not… y’know, always positive. Real life is bad enough sometimes.”
“It does,” Wanda took a slow sip, figuring that developing powers was weird in any place, it certainly wasn’t a walk in the park here, regardless of the support. “I am lucky enough to have people here from my dreams, but I am mostly lucky that they are supportive here, given we do not have the best relationship in the dreams.”
She was rather glad that she could maintain things in this world, the friendships she was coming to rely on for continued sanity.
“They’re not bad. Just not the best, I’m hoping I’m not the cause of the end of the world at least.” She understood that she wasn’t the only one to blame for the choices made. HYDRA were good at manipulating things. “Sometimes it adds something though, right? A bright spot in the dire sense of real life.” She wouldn’t say ‘special’, but there was something to it.
Billy felt a twist in his stomach and bit the inside of his lower lip, placing his mug down and looking at Wanda for a moment. He didn’t know if there were any people from his dreams here. There was a Tony Stark in his dreams, but it wasn’t the same one that was here. Like Wanda; she was Wanda but she wasn’t the same one he’d fanboyed over for his entire life, she wasn’t the one who had touched his forehead and told him that he was stronger than he thought.
“I’m part of a team,” he said, “I think. But none of them are here. And I’m just…” He stopped himself from complaining all over again. Grizz was a great friend, he was getting to know Blossom a little better and he would find more people, he was sure, though it was hard.
He cleared his throat. “I’m sure you won’t be the cause of the end of the world,” he told her after a moment, half reaching across the table before thinking better of it. “I always wanted to be different in a, uh, different way but, like, blowing out the power wasn’t part of it.”
Rubbing his hand through his hair, Billy wrinkled his nose. “Sorry- I’m not usually so…” he waved his fingers, “uh, down?”
“Maybe they’ll arrive, Orange County has a way of doing that, just bringing people together somehow.” Like and Pietro. It was still hard to fathom that her brother was here, after everything, and that she had a chance to fix things somehow. “At the very least, maybe you’ll be able to find your own version of that here. You’re certainly not alone when it comes to having powers, and I’m sure we can all help each other figure it out.”
If anything, this place had to have something that could help people, otherwise the whole world would know about how weird Orange County was. “It’s okay Billy, really. Sometimes people just feel down, and they need to talk, I get it.” And if Billy’s mother was prone to hearing about how Billy was doing through his therapist which still seemed highly unethical to Wanda, she was happy to lend an ear.
“Any time you need to talk, and you can’t do it with your therapist, I’m here. Even if it’s just about silly little things, okay? Nothing too big, nothing too small.”
It felt nice to be able to help someone, even in a small way.