Sara Lance (taer_alsafer) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-09-02 18:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, colleen wing, sara lance (white canary) |
Who: Colleen Wing and Sara Lance
What: Break ins and training
When: Late July
Where: The Chikara Dojo
Warnings: Lowish, some talk about dream cults/assassins
Status: Log | Complete
Sara wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be in the dojo when Colleen wasn’t, but she needed it, and it hadn’t been hard to get in. The door had needed a little bit of an extra shove, but it had opened all the same. Sara wasn’t sure if it had supposed to be locked and the old lock had just given way or not, but she was going to go with ‘not’ if pressed. It wasn’t breaking in if the door was unlocked.
Besides, it wasn’t like she was hurting anything while she was here. She just needed to hit something, and Colleen’s mu ren zhuang was better, and more satisfying, than Sara’s pillow. At some point, she should probably get one of these for herself. If her dreams kept going on the vein they had been - being sucked off a ship and captured by a mad scientist, running for her life away from the scientist only to be sucked off a ship again, and then getting picked up, starving and dying, by the League of Assassins - she was going to need something a little more accessible to take her feelings out on.
It was that, or just drink, and frankly, she saw enough drunks every night to not want to do that.
The League trained frequently on the mu ren zhuang, and apparently, her dreams came with muscle memory. Her hands flew through the pegs, making each strike quickly and precisely.
When Sara had shown up, Colleen had been out running. Yes, even as the heat had picked up in recent weeks and there was humidity on top of it, she wasn’t about to let that get in the way of her routine. Of course, when she came back? Even before she had entered it was clear that something was off. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time that someone from the Church of Scientology had done something to mess with her. Or it could be some idiot who thought that she had something worth stealing.
Either way, the training from the Hand came in use as it meant she could be completely silent as she entered and grabbed her katana on the off chance that she would need to use it.
Of course, entering the main area of the dojo and the answer was there. It wasn’t Scientology and it wasn’t some tweaker or idiot trying to rob her. Though the rate at which Sara was going against the mu ren zhuang was unexpected. Not that Colleen wasn’t used to what could cross over from the Dreams. So all she did was lean her katana against the wall and crossed her arms as she took in Sara’s form in her actions.
“Have you been holding out on me?”
There was a part of Sara that had been aware of Colleen from the moment she walked into the dojo, though Sara wasn’t quite sure how she’d noticed. It wasn’t that she had ever been especially unobservant, but she also had definitely never been that observant. Regardless, when Colleen spoke, Sara wasn’t surprised, and she stopped what she was doing to turn toward her, wiping her brow with the towel that hung around her neck.
“Apparently I’ve been holding out on both of us,” Sara said without smiling. “I didn’t know I could do that either. I hope you don’t mind me just showing up like this. I needed to blow off some steam.”
Funny how that innate ability to know when someone was there despite silence could become a thing. Colleen’d had it for awhile now, even before Dreaming. Though the Dreams definitely made it more intense. She supposed that was one good thing of being trained by the Hand in them despite the whole...evil ninja cult thing.
And serious Sara. Interesting. Something had clearly happened, even if Colleen didn’t know just what.
“Seems to be a thing here,” Was all she had to say on the matter. Because really, this was Orange County. Waking up with new abilities was definitely a thing. “And it’s fine,” now that she knew it was Sara and not some Scientology bullshit trying to fuck her over again, “Everything okay?”
Because needing to blow off steam? Tended to mean something was going on and while she wasn’t the most talkative of people and really couldn’t abide small talk, she did care for her students and wanted to make sure everything was fine. Even if all she could do was provide an outlet.
“I don’t know,” Sara said honestly. “Between my sister, and my Dreams…” she trailed off, not sure where to go with that. She might not have seen much of a choice when she joined the League of Assassins, but she’d still done it. Once again, she’d chosen her own survival over literally anyone else.
“I just really needed to hit something,” she finished.
Colleen definitely had missed something as she wasn’t sure about what was going on with Sara’s sister, nor did she know if she should ask. It wasn’t like Sara was one of the kids who came to her for lessons, where sometimes she was the most stable thing they had and so she acted not just as sensei, but as someone for them to tell their concerns to. Sara was an adult. And then add in the Dreams.
“Well, I do know how that goes. So if that’s what you need, feel free. Do you want to keep just attacking the mu ren zhuang or do you want to go up against me and see what new skills you have?”
It sounded awful, even in Sara’s own head, but she would be lying if the idea of hitting a person didn’t seem infinitely more satisfying than pounding on the wooden dummy, even more so since she knew that Colleen was unlikely to get actually hurt from anything that Sara actually did.
She stepped away from the mu ren zhuang, rolling her shoulders back to help loosen up her chest muscles, and then sidebent her neck from one side. “If you don’t mind,” she said.
Colleen was all too familiar with the feeling that she shouldn’t want to actually fight a person while simultaneously wanting to do just that. It was a constant conflict and why she limited herself to the cage fights only when she actually needed the money. It was that attempt to put limits and boundaries in place.
“I wouldn’t have offered if I did mind.”
And not just because Colleen was still Sara’s teacher. She didn’t do small talk or anything like that. She was to the point and didn’t mince words or make offers lightly. So as Sara loosened her muscles, Colleen moved to the center mat and did the same before sliding into position and once it seemed Sara was ready?
“Go.”
Sara was already standing on the balls of her feet, ready to go when Colleen said to. She didn’t know what to expect, and all of this still felt so foreign, but she had to admit that she was excited to see what she had in her.
She leapt forward, closing the distance between them, and moved smoothly for a roundhouse kick.
There was a marked improvement in Sara’s movements from previous sessions. And not in the she’d just been practicing sort of way. Which Colleen had already made note of when she’d walked in. But the change in position and the fact she was going against an actual opponent now made that improvement all the more obvious.
Which also meant that Colleen would then adjust her own fighting as she always made sure to meet her students where they were. There was also more control. Which was important as Colleen countered and dodged.
Sara’s body practically moved on its own as she dodged Colleen’s counter. It was nearly too fast for her to follow, but she caught Colleen’s fist, and then jumped so that she might spin around Colleen.
Well then, if that’s how she was going to play it… Colleen recognized the move that Sara was going for - it was one she used herself in cage fights. So shifting her position so they were instead back to back briefly, Colleen used Sara’s grip on her fist to instead alter the momentum and flip Sara to the ground.
Sara hit the ground hard, the wind knocked out of her, and she had to take a moment, lying on the ground, until she felt she was able to breathe again. There was a part of her that was angry at herself for not being able to counter the move like she would have done in the dreams, but she knew that was silly. Just a week ago she wouldn’t have been able to even dream of doing something like she just had.
Well, this had been more of a work out than Colleen had gotten out of a student in a while. Cage fights were completely different matters after all. So with one hand on her hip, she held out a hand to help Sara up. She knew how frustrating it could be to feel like you should have countered a move but didn’t but that was part of training.
“You did good today.”
Sara took Colleen’s hand and helped pull herself to her feet. “It doesn’t feel like it,” Sara said, and then hesitated. “And then, it does at the same time. Being able to do things in the dreams that I can’t do here… It’s confusing, isn’t it?”
As Sara tried to work through what she felt - or more just stated her opinions on it which did seem to lend to working through what she felt, Colleen just listened and crossed her arms once the blonde was up.
“I think the Dreams in general are confusing. It’s different for me in that I already had a background in martial arts. So the whole, ninja cult thing? Mostly seems to have just improved my skills as opposed to learning something entirely new. But even that was odd. I couldn’t imagine a whole new skillset one morning.”
“A ninja cult?” Sara asked, realizing that she didn’t know much about Colleen’s dreams outside of the fact that she had them.
While Colleen sometimes talked about her Dreams, she didn’t always. So it wasn’t too surprising when her comment seemed to catch Sara off guard. The question of course was, how much did she want to go into it? She’d gotten out of the Hand, and hopefully soon they wouldn’t be a concern any longer. But it was only fair.
“Yeah. They call themselves the Hand. Claim they’re trying to better the world, but also trained ninjas with some sort of way to come back to life unless you behead them.”
Fucking Bakuto.
“Anyway, I grew up in the cult. Then realized the truth, got out, and am currently fighting to defeat them once and for all.”
Sara didn’t know too much about ninjas, but she did know that they were supposed to be considered a class of assassins, probably not too different than the ones in the League of Assassins. Especially not with the coming back to life thing. Ra’s al Ghul didn’t use the pits for resurrection - in fact, she was vaguely aware that he strongly disapproved of the practice - but he had used it to unnaturally lengthen his life. She wondered if the ninja cult that Colleen dreamed of had also sent her out on assassination jobs.
Sara hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about this - Laurel wouldn’t have understood. No one really would have been able to. But she wanted - no, she needed - to get it off her chest. “In my dreams, I’ve been recruited by the League of Assassins,” she said, swallowing a little.
Thankfully Colleen had never been asked to kill someone. That would have undoubtedly broken the illusion much sooner. Most likely. It was actually hard to say what might have happened with her and the Hand had she not met Danny in the Dreams. She’d been so convinced he was the one brainwashed and then they had turned on her, to use her blood for the Hand, one last gift, all because she had helped Danny.
It wasn’t that Colleen had expected Sara to answer in kind when she had mentioned the Hand. Yes, she rarely spoke about it, but there had been a question. The similarities though? Still, she would listen without judgment. After all, who was Colleen to judge given the shit she had done for the Hand and Scientology before breaking free?
“Shit. Well that would explain the increased skill. How are you handling it? Here, I mean.”
After all, it wasn’t like they had any say about what happened in the Dreams.
“I don’t know,” Sara said after a moment. “I always thought… I don’t know, that I was a good person, I guess. A better person, at least. Not someone who would put my own survival above everyone else’s.” But she had, from the moment that she had been pulled aboard the Amazo. She had tortured and experimented on people just so that she wouldn’t be the one to be tortured and experimented on, she had betrayed Oliver’s trust, and now she was prepared to kill people just so she wouldn’t die. “I can still pretend that I wouldn’t, but… I don’t think if I was put in the same situations that I would do anything different than my dream self had.”
Colleen listened to what was said, but also what wasn’t said. It was easy enough to fill in where the conversation would go. Still, it was important for Sara to get it out as well, to process it herself and sometimes that meant saying the words out loud.
“That’s the thing. We never know what we might do in a situation until we get there. It doesn’t mean you’re not a good person. It also doesn’t mean that you won’t fuck up and make decisions you wish you didn’t. All you can do is live with it, and find a way forward. If you regret it, you’re a good person and you have to find a way to live with that. If you don’t regret it? If you enjoy it or see nothing wrong with it? That’s when you might need to reconsider.”
Colleen had said something similar to Sara on the net once before, but until now, Sara had almost forgotten about it. It was hard to remind herself to try not to think of herself as a bad person when she hated almost everything she did in the Dreams.
“Oh, I regret it, alright,” Sara said, managing something that almost resembled a smile. “Thanks. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that.”
Colleen couldn’t keep up with the advice she had or had not given to most anyone. It was part of her job and well, she did tend to have a unique perspective on these matters given her past. Add in the Dreams and well, it certainly did put things into perspective. The trick of course was remembering that in the midst of the guilt.
“Then you’re fine, even if it feels otherwise.” And that was Colleen’s view on the matter. They couldn’t control the Dreams, and people in general could never know what they would do in a given situation until it happened. It was dealing with it and moving forward that mattered. “Of course. And I definitely understand that. So no judgement. Not here.”
Sara managed a smile, the sick feeling that had been in her stomach all morning finally starting to abate. She was fine. Even if she did dream about this, it didn’t mean that she had to do those sorts of things here. The chances of her ever being put in the kind of situation that would make her make those choices were slim.
In the meantime, it didn’t mean that she couldn’t try out her newfound abilities. She might as well get some benefit out of it. “Again?” she asked.
There was definitely nothing wrong with testing out newfound abilities and honing them. In Orange County, you never knew what you were going to get. So ask Sara asked the question, Colleen just nodded and slid into position.
“Again. Go.”