Setsuna Mudou (brat_messiah) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-08-03 09:37:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !complete, peter parker (spider-man), setsuna mudou |
Who: Peter Parker and Setsuna Mudou
What: Peter volunteers, and Setsuna tries to avoid (unsuccessfully)
When: Evening of July 20th
Where: Homeless Shelter
Rating/Warnings: High for language, and incestuous thoughts
Status: Complete
Peter hadn’t volunteered at a homeless shelter since Aunt May had died, but finally deciding enough was enough, he thought that he should start again. It probably beat just sitting in the dark watching Netflix all night anyway, which had been his routine since MJ had left him.
He was a little bit surprised by how much he actually enjoyed doing it. It felt, in a way, like he was closer to Aunt May than he had been since she’d been taken to him, and it felt good knowing that he was doing some actual, concrete good for the world, instead of snapping photos that may or may not end up on some right wing news site later.
It was a little weird volunteering at a shelter where most of the people didn’t know him by sight, if not by name. He’d gotten a couple of strange looks when people had noticed him serving the food instead of taking, which he thought was a little bit insulting. Just because he had a weeks worth of scruff, bags under his eyes, and a stained t-shirt didn’t mean that he looked that bad.
He had been keeping his eyes on the people sitting at the tables, and it was hard not to miss the young man who had been sitting on his own and ignoring or straight up moving away from everyone who tried to come near him. Peter frowned a little, the young man stuck in his head all throughout supper and the subsequent clean up. Finally, Peter was told that the work was done and he could grab something to eat before he left if he wanted. It wasn’t like Peter was very liquid at the moment, so he grabbed himself a heaping bowl of the chili, and made his way back out to the dining area. He was glad to see the young man was still there, and went to sit across from him at the table.
“How’s the chili?” Peter asked, putting down his tray and taking the seat across from the kid. “I’ve got to admit, this is the best looking chili I’ve seen in ages.”
Setsuna had been doing his damned best to stay away from people, mental shield up, set to the strongest level he could manage. Despite everything, if anyone spoke to him, he always ended up liking them, or letting them too close. And really? He just wanted distance, in particular, not just since his failed first year of high school, but because his life made it hard to connect, and it felt weird when people were nice to him. Also, he really didn’t want anyone else sucked into his problems, or having to deal with him. He was a pain in the ass, and he knew it.
When the man Setsuna could have sworn was also homeless, sat across from him, Setsuna first looked up, then around him. Nope, his conscious attempt at being an ass was otherwise working, because there was definitely no one else around that could be getting this greeting.
And it was sincere. This guy wasn’t doing this just because he had to, or anyone was making him…. No, this was legit. It made Setsuna’s chilli more unappetizing than it already was. What was he supposed to say? Or do?
For the past ten minutes, he had barely been spooning little bits of the chilli - which everyone else said was actually pretty good - and managed to nibble at it, unenthusiastically. But now….
Without a word, Setsuna grabbed his barely touched bowl, not willing to give up on eating a full meal just yet, and moved to the table behind him, back now facing the newcomer.
Peter paused, a spoonful of chili half way to his mouth, when the young guy got up and moved to a different table. A part of him wondered if he should just leave it be and finish his meal by himself, but he had the feeling that solitude wasn’t what this guy needed, even if he wanted it.
So, Peter put his spoon back in his chili, picked up his tray, and sat down across from him again. “Do I smell?” he asked, lifting up his arm to give his armpit a bit of a sniff. “I did just shower this morning, so I didn’t think so. Is it my cologne?” Not that Peter was wearing cologne.
Setsuna was just about to put the not even full spoon back to his lips, when the guy sat in front of him again. Eyes wide, Setsuna gave up on the meal, dropped the spoon back to his bowl, and fought against every urge he had to chuckle at the question. Unfortunately, for him, ever true to his real emotions, his lips did quiver, and almost pulled into a smile for a quick moment.
He decided, instead, to focus on how obnoxious this guy’s tenacity was. This helped him still his expression, but his tone came out more playfully annoyed than aggressive as he responded with, “No, but what part of me moving didn’t clue you in to how much I want to be alone?”
In the least, Peter was right, even if he didn’t know Setsuna, and Setsuna didn’t know it yet - solitude was only going to make things worse. It hadn’t helped him thus far, at least.
Peter didn’t miss the lip quiver, and he had to fight to keep himself from smiling in turn. That was a good sign, at least. “Was that what that was?” Peter asked, feigning surprise as he glanced back over at the table that they’d just left. “I thought for sure it was the smell. Or the breeze. It felt very breezy over there.”
Both of Setsuna’s hands balled into fists, his nails digging as deep into his palms as he could manage. Not giving into this. Just not.
“That breeze was the ice cold distaste I feel for you,” Setsuna managed to quip back, partially afraid it was going too far. But maybe it would get the message across. And if it didn’t? He was going to end up cracking, and he knew it.
“Was it?” Peter asked, his eyebrows raising. “Oh, well, in that case, thanks! I’m new to California, and I just haven’t gotten the hang of this heat yet. It’s a real killer, you know? You’re a real lifesaver.”
Dammit! This guy really couldn’t take...no, that wasn’t even a hint. It was straight up rejection, and he still just plowed right in. Maybe Setsuna could learn a thing or two from him.
It finally brought a smile from Setsuna’s lips.
“The heat here sucks, I guess. But it’s like where I’m from, so I’m kinda used to it,” Setsuna gave in, making real conversation for the first time since arriving in the homeless shelter.
“Where are you from?”
Peter tried not to look to pleased with himself, but he was glad that the kid had finally stopped with the insults and looked like he was actually willing to make conversation. Yeah, Peter still had it.
“I’m from New York,” he said, finally taking a mouthful of his chili. “Oh wow, this is really good. You should really have some,” he interjected. “I just moved out here a couple months ago. So, you’re from California? Whereabouts?”
Setsuna’s eyes flickered down to the bowl when Peter mentioned it, but instead of eating, he just returned to moving his spoon around in the bowl pointlessly. At least the brat was finally talking.
“New York? Why move so far away?” Well, he said that, but considering where he was originally from? Then again, he had been a child at the time, and it certainly hadn’t been his choice. His eyes went right back to the bowl when Setsuna was asked where he was from. How do you answer that when you weren’t born in the US?
“I’m in a homeless shelter. Safe to say I’m not from anywhere, right now,” Setsuna settled for.
“You having trouble getting started here, too?” He had just assumed….
Peter watched the spoon for a minute, but decided not to press his luck. This was enough, for now, and he didn’t want to spook the poor kid. “Well,” Peter said, frowning. Now it was his turn to push the chili around in his bowl. “A lot happened, and I decided that I needed a change of scenery,” he settled for eventually. This kid didn’t need to know about his money problems, or his marital problems, or about Aunt May…
Peter gave him a bit of a half smile at his comment, and then blinked in confusion with Setsuna’s comment. “What?” he asked, and then it sunk in. Why did everyone think he was homeless? First the Peter he’d met in a bar, the person who’d put a five dollar bill in his empty coffee cup when he’d been sitting on a park bench, and now Setsuna. It must have been this shirt. Maybe he should do laundry. “Oh, I’m not staying here,” he said. “I’m just a volunteer.”
Two things Setsuna could understand very clearly, even if he hadn’t left Orange County - “A lot happened”, and “change of scenery”. Both of those rang painfully to Setsuna, to the point he stopped bothering with the spoon in his chili and just left it to sit once more.
“Well...what was I gonna think when you’re eating with me and dressed like that,” Setsuna quipped back.
“You look like you just don’t give a shit. And it’s hard to give a damn when your life leaves you without anywhere else to go,” Setsuna waved a hand to their surroundings. Despite everything, Setsuna didn’t have much in the way of clothes, but he still tried to at least look decent. It was easier to care about how he looked - together, presentable, NO PROBLEMS HERE, and ready for a job - than about food, and everything else that felt like it was happening far away. Life without Sara was so desolate it was barely real, the past four years some sort of deranged dream.
Peter ran a hand down the scruff on his cheeks. Ouch. “And here I thought I looked devilishly handsome. Like a Michalangelo sculpture,” Peter said lightly, but it was true. Peter had stopped giving a shit about how he looked a long time ago. He’d really stopped giving a shit about just about everything. “Are you always this brutally honest, kid?” he asked.
Deadpan, Setsuna said, “Not even,” to Peter’s handsome commentary. But to Peter’s question, Setsuna looked away and bit his bottom lip before he gave an answer, quietly, “No. Sometimes I can keep it shut.”
He nibbled at his bottom lip just one more time, then gave Peter a bitter smile and added, “But when I can cause the most damage? That’s definitely when I go all out and run my mouth.”
“That’s a bad habit,” Peter said with a bit of a smile, choosing to ignore the ‘not even’ comment. “You should probably work on that.” Somehow, he doubted that the kid would take his advice, wise as it was. “I’m Peter, by the way,” he said belatedly, offering his hand for a handshake, as realizing that he still didn’t know the kid’s name.
“Pretty sure I have more important things to work on right now. Like getting a place to live,” Setsuna muttered, grumbling just a little. He wasn’t necessarily arguing, but for now? That was more immediate.
Setsuna just stared at the offered hand, and asked, “Peter’s your whole name?” And he didn’t need to give anything back - Peter didn’t ask.
“Peter Parker,” Peter clarified, keeping his hand out for a moment longer before deciding that Setsuna probably wasn’t going to take it. He picked up his spoon, and turned his attention back to his chilli. “I don’t think I caught your name,” he added.
“It’s Mudou, Parker,” Setsuna said, just about to reach out for Peter’s hand, now, but it was gone, so he shrugged the entire thing off. And considering Setsuna had just enough, he handed over his bowl of chili and offered, “It’s yours, if you want it. I’m done, and you seem to like it a lot more than I do.”
Peter grimaced at the ‘Parker,’ getting flashbacks to Jameson yelling at him over whatever imagined problem he had conjured up. It was kind of annoying that some kid was calling him Parker now. This was exactly why Peter didn’t want kids. “Peter’s fine,” he said. “At least throw me a mister if you’re going to insist on using my last name.” Not that he wanted to be called Mr. Parker much more than he wanted to be called just plain old Parker. “Mudou’s your whole name?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.
He was trying to push people away, but he still noticed the grimace. Setsuna couldn’t help the guilt, and that icy feel coating his stomach to go along with it. Besides, didn’t seem Peter could be pushed away properly.
Setsuna looked away when Peter so subtly pointed out his hypocrisy with the names.
“It’s Setsuna Mudou, Mr. Peter.”
And now it was Mr. Peter, and he stared for a second before he burst out laughing. This was too much for just a name. “Listen, I’ll tell you what, kid. I’ll call you Setsuna, and you can call me whatever the hell you want. Alright?”
“How about you call me Mudou, and I’ll call you whatever you want,” Setsuna offered in return, through grit teeth. But even with his tone agitated, Setsuna is almost grinning. Maybe it was Peter’s laugh putting him at ease.
"See? Compromise is what it's all about," Peter said, even though in the end he had more or less gotten what he wanted. "You can call me Peter. But if it makes you feel better, my friends call me Pete." Which was only partially true, but he got the feeling the kid wasn't ready to be friends anyway.
“Fine, Peter it is. Or Damned Bastard,” Setsuna said with a hint of playfulness. He had so been conned into that, but he didn’t mind, not really. Someone cared enough to bother? He could at least give that proper appreciation, and a grin. Not quite a smile, but it was better than his usual glower of late.
"Hey, I've been called worse," Peter said with a shrug. He finished the last bite of his chilli and started working on Setsuna's. "So, how long have you been here, Mudou?" he asked, mouth full.
Setsuna almost chuckled when Peter ate the offered chili. Well, at least it wouldn’t go to waste. As for how long; “About a month. Definitely need to get a real place soon. They can make room for someone more in need than I am.”
At least, that was Setsuna’s plan. And why he was about to take on two jobs. More, if he had to.
It had been a long time since the last time Peter had volunteered at a homeless shelter. Part of it had been that going to FEAST, the homeless shelter his Aunt May had worked for over twenty years and had eventually run, reminded him too much of her and it had been too painful to go back. But a big part of it was that he just no longer believed most of the messages of hope he’d have to say there.
But he was trying to do better. He couldn’t stay in the same rut he’d fallen into following his and MJ’s divorce, even if trying to pull himself out of it felt impossible. “There isn’t anything wrong with needing help, you know,” Peter said. “You need it just as much as anyone else does, and thinking you need help less than anyone else doesn’t do anyone any favours.”
That was rich, coming from Peter, and the irony wasn’t lost on him. Yeah, this was definitely one of the reasons he’d stopped doing this. “So if you need any help trying to find somewhere affordable to live, or trying to find work, just ask. I’m pretty good at that kind of thing, if I say so myself.”
Setsuna fidgeted to Peter’s comment, eyes going straight to the table. He was trying his damndest to not cause issues for anyone else. But maybe Peter had a point. If he ended up worse off, someone would be forced to get involved. That certainly wasn’t doing anyone any favors.
Eyes still on the table said said, “Well, I’ve already turned in some applications. Both online and in person. If none of that works out, I could use help with the resume. I just followed internet advice for that. I’d never done one before.”
Another moment, and he lifted his eyes to add, “But housing, could definitely use some help with that. Once I have the down payment.” Mentally, he added to himself, And a bank account to put said money in.
“You know,” Setsuna started, mouth running on impulse - usually it got him into trouble, but everyone once in a while he said something that was just painfully dumb, to someone he barely me, like this - “that goes both ways. You help me. And if there’s anything I can do in return, just ask.” So much for keeping distance.
“Resumes are pretty much the worst thing in existence,” Peter agreed. In New York he’d worked with the same news agency for years, but he’d had to update his resume when he moved to California and he’d put it off longer than he really should have, just because he hadn’t wanted to do it. Luckily, he didn’t need too much in the way of a resume for the freelance work that he did.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Peter said, though he was pretty sure that there’d never be a moment in time when he was desperate enough to ask some kid for help.
“They’re annoying,” Setsuna mostly agreed. “Pretty sure I’ve dealt with worse things, though.”
Unintentionally, the kid yawned, even tried to hold it back and keep it as quiet as possible, hand tightly around his mouth, but he knew it was obvious. Besides, he had never meant to talk to this guy - or anyone - for more than five seconds.
“Cool meeting you and all, but I’m going to turn in for the night.”
“It was good meeting you too, S- Mudou,” Peter said, shoving the last of Setsuna’s chili in his mouth. “I should be heading home soon too. But I’ll probably see you later on this week.”
Honestly, Peter hadn’t known what to expect when he decided to volunteer at the shelter, but there had been a big part of him that had known that he was going to regret doing it. And yet, here he was, at the end of the night, feeling pretty good about the whole thing and actually looking forward to coming back again when he could. Even if he only helped Setsuna, well, it was more than he could have done sitting at home.
Yeah, he’d definitely be back.