Who: Gaby Teller-Mason & Michael Guerin What: Drinking to Drink When: May 21st, afternoon [backdated] Where: Bar Rating/Warnings: PG-13, Michael's a drunkard Status: Complete
Michael went straight from work to the bar he always drank at with Gaby. He thought about going to the Double Tap but then he remembered Sara was out of town and Dan had been in a bad mood himself lately. So his place with Gaby it was. Not that he even knew if Gaby would be there. He hadn’t texted her to make sure. It didn’t really matter though. Michael just wanted to get drunk and forget about his problems for a night. Forget about the ache in his chest Alex had left the previous night. Knowing he was losing the guy. And it was his own damn fault. He wanted too much. Alex didn’t need Michael the way Michael needed Alex. The way he needed to be cared about, needed the affection. Alex didn’t need any of that from Michael. He wasn’t sure what Alex needed exactly, but the way he pushed Michael away? The way he didn’t want Michael’s comfort, didn’t want to open up about what was going on with him? It was clear that Michael wasn’t at all what Alex needed.
God, he really needed to stop thinking about the guy.
How much alcohol was it going to take? He was already on his third glass of whiskey and Alex was still at the forefront of his mind.
Gaby hadn’t really planned on drinking, but her intentions to spend time doing something other than propping up a bar ground to a shrieking halt when it became apparent that some of the people who decided to turn up at her garage were still living in the 1950s. When she’d had enough of sexist comments and sent someone packing from her shop with a vehicle that would definitely not have made it to the end of the street she shut up and sat in her garage for a while, fuming in the direction of various cars and parts before realising that wasn’t going to do anyone any good.
She’d thought about texting Michael, asking about drinks, then thought about texting Tim and telling him that he had to deal with everyone with a Y chromosome who was over the age of forty for a while but decided that impulsive actions rarely yielded fruitful results.
So drinking it was.
When she hit the bar and saw Michael already there she slid onto the stool beside him and smiled sadly, bumping him with her shoulder. “You’re brooding again,” she told him, tapping the bar and ordering, “I’ll have whatever he’s having but double, and he’ll have another one,” before her attention returned to Michael.
“Bad day at the office?”
Michael was somewhat relieved to hear a familiar voice. Gaby’s voice. Yeah he hadn’t reached out to her, but now that he was drinking alone he really didn’t want to. He needed a distraction. Alcohol alone was not enough to get Alex out of his head.
“Yeah, well,” Michael replied not even finishing his sentence. Instead he just picked up his drink and downed the rest of it.
“Work was work,” Michael replied with a shrug. Work was the least of his fucking problems. It was the only good thing he had going for him. The only good thing he ever had going for him.
“You got any stories for me?” About people who took shit care of their vehicles. They usually had a ton of those to share.
“Stories?” Gaby asked, eyebrow lifting. “I mean, I think one of my customers may be intentionally damaging his car to bring it in… I don’t know if that is the kind of story you are looking for?” she asked, only a little alarmed as he downed his drink in one go, just as the replacement arrived.
She reached out for hers and knocked it against Michael’s glass before taking a sip. If he was throwing drinks down his throat like that it was going to be an expensive night.
“What happened, Michael?”
“You got a stalker?” Because that was the first thing that came to mind. Why else would someone intentionally damage their car? And it wasn’t like whoever this person was brought their car to Michael. Seemed like they just wanted to see Gaby. Kind of pathetic if you asked him.
“Nothing happened,” Michael grumbled bitterly making it very clear that something had indeed happened. Maybe after another drink he would talk.
“Mmhm,” Gaby responded dryly, knowing full well that something had happened. She nudged his glass closer to him, indicating that he drink up. She’d cover at least the next couple of rounds, she had a feeling it would do her good to try and keep her head, tonight.
She shrugged, deciding that talking about one customer, in particular, was worth the distraction for now. “Not a stalker, no,” she said carefully. “I am not sure what it is that he wants, however.”
“To get in your pants,” Michael replied. Which was probably making him sound like the sexist guys Gaby was already pissed off about. Not that Michael knew that. But he was already tipsy and well that’s usually what guys wanted. Usually what he wanted anyway. Though he never went to such extremes to get laid.
But for Alex? He might have.
Fuck. Alex.
Michael picked up the drink taking a nice, long swallow.
Gaby snorted, “I’d rather someone be more direct than break their car repeatedly at their own expense. He pays full price for every repair.” Because if that was an attempt at flirting, as handsome as he was, Gaby did not understand it. “Besides, not every man wants just sex from a person.”
“He better be paying full price,” Michael replied taking another sip from his glass. He wouldn’t have approved if Gaby gave out discounts just cause she had a repeat customer purposefully fucking up his car.
“Yeah, Gaby. I know that.” Even if there was only one person he had ever wanted more than sex with. Everyone else had just been a hook up to him. Alex had his damn heart since he was a fucking teenager.
Alex.
He picked up his drink finishing it off again.
Gaby chuckled, “Yes, he’s paying full price. I hope this dissuades him from trying again to rip his handbrake out.” She was quite sure that was what he’d been doing, just pulling on something until it broke and he could come and see her. Though she also could have been reading too much into it and could have, potentially, just someone who is terrible at taking care of his car on her hands and she would need to consider educating him.
She watched as Michael downed the drink and felt her eyebrows lifting a little. That one had been a double. How many drinks in was he, now?
“This feels like a heavier drinking session than normal, Michael.”
“I feel like he shouldn’t be allowed to own a car,” Michael replied words beginning to slur just a bit.
And yet he still wasn’t forgetting.
“I just want to forget,” Michael replied to Gaby’s comment about the heavy drinking. He bit down on his lip immediately. He hadn’t meant for that to slip out.
Gaby ordered another drink for Michael, and also a glass of iced tap water. She rested her hand on Michael’s forearm, touch gentle but firm and present, thumb brushing over his sleeve reassuringly. Concern flared in her chest, visible in the crease of her brow. “Forget what?”
Well shit. He had already said it. Might as well answer Gaby’s question. His walls were slipping. Alex had taken them down. And he usually still kept them up around everyone else. Max and Isobel included. But he was tired of hiding who he was. Hiding how he felt. And this was Gaby. Besides she had already seen them together anyway.
“Alex Manes.”
Gaby tilted her head, frown ghosting across her features. “Alex the guy from the diner Alex?” she asked, “Why, what happened?” She shifted a little closer, turning on the stool so her knees were touching Michael’s thigh and she leaned into his space, both hands now on him; one on his arm the other on his shoulder.
“He left,” Michael replied simply words still slurring. “I pushed him away and he left.” Because that was how it went in Michael’s head. He had pushed Alex to talk to him too much. About something Alex didn’t want to talk about. It didn’t matter that Michael had shared shit with Alex. Things he didn’t like talking about either. Alex didn’t trust Michael in the same way. Didn’t need him. Of course he had left. No one fucking needed Michael.
“He left?” Gaby repeated, confusion laced through her words. “Do you mean that he-” she wasn’t sure if she could ask if they broke up, as she wasn’t entirely sure if they were dating. “What do you mean he left?”
No they didn’t break up. That would have required a definition to what they were. Which honestly Michael hadn’t really needed. Labels weren’t a huge thing for him. He knew how he felt about Alex and he thought he knew how Alex felt about him. But apparently not.
“He left,” Michael said again. “He didn’t want to tell me what was wrong. Didn’t want to be close to me. And then he left.”
He couldn’t explain all of it. The dreams of it all. The fact that Alex had been beaten. That wasn’t his to tell. But the facts still remained the same. Something huge had happened to Alex and he didn’t feel like he could share it with Michael. Michael wasn’t even sure why he had shown up in the first place. To get away from Kyle for a bit he supposed.
Gaby squeezed Michael’s arm. She didn’t know Alex at all, certainly not well enough to make a comment on his behaviour, but she wanted to help. “How is that you pushing him away?” She asked, “How is that your fault if he didn’t want to talk? Is that not his issue?”
Her other hand moved to his back after nudging the water a little closer. “Drink this, Michael,” she said, “Tell me what happened, maybe I can help you.”
Michael sighed taking a sip of water, but then immediately washed it down with more whiskey. He wasn’t pushing Gaby away, but he wasn’t exactly looking at her either. His eyes and body remained facing forward, towards the bar. It was easier for him that way.
“You can’t help.” Michael said sadly. “He’s gone.” Of course Gaby didn’t know that was a very far conclusion to jump to. But Michael was drunk. And whenever someone left they left for good. That was all he knew.
“Gone forever?” Gaby asked, “Because of what? What did you ask him that he didn’t want to talk about?” She felt like she needed to push a little to understand, clearly something serious had happened, and she didn’t know how to help without all the information. Honestly, she was woefully ill-equipped to deal with something like this but she would try. “He sounds like he’s being kind of a jerk.”
“Probably,” Michael replied. Because that was how it always went. It wasn’t like this was the first time Alex had left either. “Or for another ten years.” Michael took another swallow of whiskey.
“No,” he replied. Because Alex wasn’t a jerk. “Alex…” He wasn’t quite sure how to finish that thought. “He was the first person to really show me kindness. The first one that saw me.” Not the new troubled kid in school.
“Another ten years?” Gaby queried. Her hand reached out, covering the glass gently and replacing it with the water. Michael had probably drunk enough, since his words were slurred and he was sharing truths with her that she was pretty sure he’d be mortified to have done should he have been sober. She thought back to a conversation they’d had a couple of months back, where Michael had been smiling brightly and he said it had been because of someone that had visited him at work, but she’d seen that same look on his face when she’d run into him and Alex at the diner.
She sighed. “Just because he showed you kindness once does not mean that he will always do the same, or that he is not being a jerk.”
“Yeah,” Michael sighed. He was beginning to feel a little dizzy. “Though I guess I left first. I don’t know.” He had tried to stay in touch but it wasn’t the same after what happened. “But I never forgot him.” Michael was just talking out loud now. And yeah he was probably going to regret it in the morning. Be embarrassed that he opened himself up like that to Gaby. “And now I messed it all up.”
“Water,” Gaby reminded him softly, nudging the glass towards him again before she sighed, “How did you leave first?” She returned to rubbing large, soothing circles against Michael’s back, not entirely sure how to help him but she supposed he was talking, so she was doing something right. “I’m sure you did not mess anything up, Michael, what makes you think that?”
Michael rolled his eyes but still took a sip of water. “Happy?” He asked with a prolonged blink. “I went to a new home,” Michael explained. “No one wanted me back then either.” Because that was what it came down to really. No one wanted Michael for more than a few months. It was the only thing he ever knew his entire damn life. Why would Alex be any different? He had left Michael just like everyone else.
“You were in foster care?” Gaby asked, knowing what that was like. She was lucky, she got adopted, but she had spent a few years moving around the foster care system before the family she was placed with decided to adopt her and she understood the pain of feeling unwanted. Though adoption had worked out for her, there was a family member out there that she knew about who had said that he did not want her. That still stung.
She wet her lower lip, “And again,” she prompted gently. “That does not tell me why you messed up this time.”
“Yeah.” It wasn’t something Michael talked about often. But he didn’t exactly hide it either. It was his life. There were just things that happened in foster care that he didn’t talk about. Except for with Alex.
“He doesn’t like to talk about… stuff.” Michael said words still slurring together. “And I knew that. But I pushed. He wants to know me but he won’t let me know him.”
“Foster care is not a nice place to be,” Gaby offered quietly, in solace. Her hand still rubbed circles gently against his back and she sighed, listening as Michael’s slurred words slowly slipped out, broken and hurting and she didn’t know how to fix it. She chewed her lower lip and leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Sounds to me like you did nothing wrong.”
“Well he still left,” Michael said bitterly though there was so much hurt behind it. “He doesn’t want me.”
Gaby pressed her lips together. “Has he left before?”
“Yes.” That night though Michael has wanted him to. He didn’t want Alex there to see what happened. And then he had gone off to join the Air Force. And Michael only knew about it because of Max. “No one ever stays.”
“I know I am not Alex Manes,” Gaby said softly, “but I’m here. I’m not leaving. I mean obviously we’ll go our separate ways at the end of the night but I am here for you. I do not leave my friends.” She had so few it was a bad idea anyway, but even if she had plenty, she was not in the habit of walking away.
She sighed. “Did he come back?”
“After ten years,” Michael replies. And it wasn’t for him. If they hadn’t run into each other at the bar he wondered if Alex would have even tried to contact him.
But he did hear the words Gaby said. He finally turned to look at her giving her a small smile. “Thanks, Gaby.” Same went for her but Michael was too drunk to communicate that right now.
Gaby glanced at the bartender, signalling that they were probably not going to be drinking any more alcohol for the night and then returned her chin to where it was perched on Michael’s shoulder. “Ten years is a long time,” she agreed quietly. “Where did he go?”
“Too fucking long,” Michael said sadly. “Air Force.” Even though back then that had been the complete opposite of what Alex wanted. He wanted to be a musician. Not follow in his fathers footsteps.
Gaby winced. That was military, yes? “He must have seen some scary things, was he deployed? Did you talk to him?”
“I just told you he doesn’t talk,” Michael replied his sadness turning into anger. Though that wasn’t entirely true. Alex had shared what he could. He’d told Michael about his scars. He showed Michael his medals. He told him the stories that he could. But all that had slipped Michael’s mind. All he could see was Alex flinching at Michael’s touch. Alex yelling at him for lifting his shirt revealing the bruises. Alex shutting down. Alex leaving.
“I meant while he was away,” Gaby said calmly, but she could see that Michael was possibly moving to a belligerent stage of drunkeness and she figured it would be a better idea to get him home. “You think we should get out of here? I do not think the bartender will serve us anymore.”
She glanced up at him, asking him to play along and he just nodded. “Uh, yeah, sorry man. You’re cut off.”
“No. We didn’t talk,” Michael said bitterly. Alex didn’t reach out to him at all. And why would he? Michael was just some foster kid he had hooked up with.
“What the fuck?!” Michael demanded when the bartender cut him off. “I haven’t even had that many!”
Still he stood up ready to exit the bar. “Fine! I was done anyway.” With that he turned on his heel stumbling out of the bar, leaving Gaby behind.
Gaby quickly paid for the rest of their drinks and hurried out after Michael, catching his arm gently. “At least let me get you home, okay?” She looked up at him, big brown eyes wide and worried. “I need to know you get home alright.”
“I’m fine,” Michael replied twisting out of Gaby’s grasp. And then the memory of Alex pulling away hit him. He wasn’t about to do that to someone else. Even in his drunken pissed off state, he could see that Gaby cared. Just as he had with Alex the previous night. He sighed. “Sorry,” he said hanging his head. “I can get home okay. You don’t have to,” he went on, his tone softening.
“I want to, okay?” Gaby’s voice was gentle but firm and she tucked herself under his arm. “Bitte,” she asked, “We can just take a taxi.”
“Fine,” Michael said though his voice wasn’t bitter anymore. Just defeated. Besides it wasn’t like this was the first time he’d left his truck at a bar overnight.