Barry Allen (akatheflash) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-05-23 16:31:00 |
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Cisco was...struggling at best, but he wasn’t saying so or admitting it. Iris was able to cope, so why couldn’t he? Why didn’t they just stop after he told them he was fine? He just wanted to move on. Keep going forward. It was when he stopped when things got bad. Or at least he worried they would, but honestly how they could get worse he wasn’t sure. He tried to project this outward appearance of someone who could cope-but he wasn’t sure how well he was doing at it, people still gave him looks of sympathy pretty often. He was doing his damndest to stay above water, but felt like it was drowning him and he didn’t know how to stop it. He was angry, mainly. How could he not be? The fresh injury on his arm wasn’t helping. The reminder of what a freak he was, wasn’t helping. He knew all that. Damnit, he knew he shouldn’t exist. It was partially his own fault for believing in someone who would ultimately end up betraying them that he had these freaky powers to begin with. He’d never experienced that kind of fear before. A hand rested on the edge of his desk as he paused. His entire body tensing up as memories filled that space like an air lock. He felt his lungs freeze up for a moment as something cold touches his wrist. His heart rate sped up. --- After everything that happened, Barry was a little worried about Iris and Cisco. Cisco more. He seemed to be taking what happened to him a lot harder than Iris. Which was why he had decided to go the lab and surprise him with a little visit. And, well, mostly Barry just wanted to check up on Cisco, but he wasn’t going to say that to Cisco if/when he asked why he was there. Once he was in the building, he made his way right to Cisco’s lab. He didn’t need to be shown where it was anymore. He had been there a few times now. Although, when he arrived, he didn’t think he would find Cisco in a chair, staring off into space. He called his friend’s name but got no reply. He walked over, leaned over a little and then said, “Cisco…” Before he waved a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Cisco, come in Cisco.” * At first there was no response, no movement at all until that hand moved in front of his face. He flinched, his arm moving up to cover his face in a moment of pure fear. He’d forgotten where he was. It didn’t take longer than that though to realize the culprit was Barry, and he could release a breath he didn’t realize he’d held. “Dios, how long have you been there?” He hadn’t heard Barry come in. He wasn’t expecting company. He stood and rubbed the bridge of his eyes. How long had he been there? He didn’t remember. That probably wasn’t a good thing. He looked over at the clock. It was getting late, later than he usually stayed at work anyway. Nearing eleven P.M. --- Barry was starting to think he might have to actually nudge Cisco to get him out of dreamland, but something finally clicked in Cisco’s head and he was finally back in the realm of the living. “I don’t know,” he replied with a slight shrug, “a couple of minutes.” He really hadn’t been there for very long. He took a step back when Cisco stood, giving him some space. “I wasn’t interrupting something, was I?” * “Oh” Cisco frowned a bit as he rubbed at his eyes with his hand. “Interrupting?...No. I don’t remember what I was doing to be interrupted.” Spacing out, yes. Doing something? He had no clue. “..What are you doing here? Did we have an appointment or something?” Normally it took a bit of convincing to get Barry to come to his lab. Had Cisco missed something? Dark eyes shifted up at him. “Are you okay?” Was Barry feeling weird after his powers finally kicked in? Maybe he’d missed something. * “It looked like you were in your own little world,” Barry pointed out. “No, I didn’t have an appointment. I just thought I would drop by and say hi.” And to check up on you, he thought to himself. “I’m fine, Cisco.” At least right now he felt perfectly fine. And even if he didn’t, he really didn’t want to bug Cisco about it right now. But he was feeling fine, so it didn’t matter. “Are youokay?” He finally asked even though he was pretty sure he was going to get lied to or possibly a look that said don’t ask. It was too late now, though. He asked. * Even if Cisco wanted to talk about it, he wasn’t sure what to say. Words were in short order. “I’m fine. Getting a little tired of that question, but fine.” He responded to the point as he rubbed at his eyes and sat back down then. If he didn’t have to do anything, even better. He didn’t feel like doing much lately. Everyone kept giving him those looks, and Cisco just wanted to move on with his life. Unfortunately he wasn’t even sure how to begin doing that. He felt like he was stuck on some loading screen in the middle of a twenty four man raid. “I was thinking about upgrades.” He deflected again, looking over a the popup note on his computer for a quick diversion of topics. Not scary ass needles being jammed in his neck. Not thinking about the latter at all. “Eight k is coming out soon. I’m already on a list or ten.” * “Okay…” Barry will make sure not to ask Cisco that question for a while. “Upgrades? Upgrades on what?” Cisco could be talking about anything and Barry wasn't going to assume, which is why he asked the question. “Are you talking about the new TVs?” The fact that Cisco was changing subjects quickly only proved to Barry that Cisco was not okay. The guy looked super tired too. More than usual. * He appreciated the concern, but he’d rather just spend time with his friend than try to voice something he wasn’t quite sure how to yet. “Uh huh. But in this case rerouting them and using them as monitors until the eight K monitors are more widely available to the public without costing me five grand. The human eye can’t see more than three hundred and twenty pixels per inch anyway so once I get that I probably won’t have to bother upgrading until we get into VR or holo. God I hope we get proper holo tech soon.” He was avoiding any topic close to what had happened. He wasn’t sleeping lately, not well anyway. He kept having nightmares ontop of Dreams of the Orange county side, but now they were mixed with nightmares of Dr. Mengele wannabe of the Hydra folks mixed in them for extra fear. It was not a fun time in his brain just now. * Barry just stood there leaning against a counter, listening as Cisco went on and on. “I wouldn’t mind the holo thing.” If what Jemma had been using was that, then, yeah, he definitely wouldn’t mind having something like that. “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s get out of here.” He had no idea where they could go, but it had to be better than standing around some sterile, white lab. * Cisco really needed to poke Jemma’s tech more..He went into specs wen Barry suggested they go somewhere. He raised an eyebrow. “And go where? I’m on the clock Barry.” He didn’t know what to say to that. “I can’t just leave.” Normally he would have been anxious to, but leaving meant passing Jemmas lab. A place he was still afraid to even go near. -- Barry shrugged at Cisco’s question. He really had no idea where. But he also didn’t think Cisco would resist the idea of getting the hell out of there. “You can’t leave or you don’t want to leave?” * “I…” He didn’t know the answer to that question. His brows furrowed as he looked back at the monitor instead. Any subject, any other subject...It was like his brain had just frozen again. His arms folded uncomfortably as he leaned against his desk. Cisco chewed at his lower lip awkwardly for a moment. “ I don’t know.” Finally a bit of honesty at least. He really wasn’t sure which one it was. Either one meant walking past medical things, and just then? He couldn’t even look at medical things. A hand raised to push away some dark hair from his face in frustration. He was afraid. He couldn’t see it but it was likely anyone else could. * That’s what he thought. Barry really didn’t know what to do. He wanted to get Cisco to talk, thinking that might help, but he can’t make Cisco do anything he didn’t want to do. “I could go if you want to be alone.” It was an option for Cisco. Barry just didn’t want to feel like he was pushing Cisco and if being here right now was getting to him then he’d go. * Cisco instinctively reached out for his wrist as if to stop him from leaving even if he hadn’t quite started yet. “Don’t go.” He had a place that wasn’t quite so sterile they could go, a place that was where he would get away to if he needed. His own little lab away from labs that was more humane. “I’ll show you something else.” They could go the opposite direction from Jemma’s lab to get there. He lead him down a narrow pathway that turns opposite of Jemma’s lab, to a smaller, more comfortable private lab. This one far less white and sterile, but more homey. As labs could get. “I’ve been coming here a lot lately. I don’t think anyone knows about it, but it’s kind of like having my own workshop.” It was more like a room, there were still silver steel desks around, but Cisco had begun setting up a few things. Monitors, even a projector for a small movie viewing area. “It’s not exactly Star Labs, but it’s mine.” * Barry glanced down when cisco grabbed him by the wrist. Okay, Cisco definitely didn’t want him to leave, so he wasn’t going to. “Okay, I won’t go,” he told Cisco. “Oh? Show away then.” He wondered what Cisco had up his sleeve. He followed, glancing around as they walked. “Nice. Is this your get away without having to actually get away?” he asked as he started to take a look around the homey lab. “It's a little smaller than Star Labs,” he said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “So, have you been hiding out in here a lot?” * He gave Barry a flat stare at his comment about it being smaller than Star Labs and that earned him a shove and he let him go. Releasing his wrist so Barry could explore that small lab. “Recently, yeah.” He gave a little smile as he sat in one of the comfy chairs. That little lab had a mini fridge even, he didn’t have to leave unless he wanted. “I haven’t shown it to anyone else.” There were a couple dinosaur figures lurking on the table near his workstation, it was a bit more personal than the shared lab. * Barry stumbled a little and acted like Cisco hurt him. Of course he hadn't been hurt. He just wanted to make Cisco smile and if that meant acting a little silly, so be it. “I feel special,” he said as he finally took a seat. “What made you want to show it to me?” Barry figured he had other friends he might want to show this place to, but he had been the chosen one and now here he was. * That earned Barry an eyeroll and an an exasperated amused look, but it worked in his favor. Cisco hadn’t been aware that he was so serious lately until the last few days. He hadn’t had much to smile about. He reached into one of the drawers where he’d been working on the tiny communicators. Handing one of them over to Barry, It was a golden lightning bolt that would be hooked onto the suit. “It’s where I’ve been doing most of the stuff for your suit. And..I trust you. “ Trust with him was a hard thing to come by. But he wanted to share that with Barry. Even if it was sappy and sentimental. -- “Don’t give me that look,” he said with a small smile. When Cisco reached into the drawer, Barry wondered what he would pull out. The tiny communicator was not exactly what he had imagined. He thought it might be something bigger and more weapon-like. He only thought it because of the way Cisco had been acting ever since the kidnapping. He reached over and took the device and looked it over. “Great. So we can talk to one another when I’m out there.” If he even decided to do anything like his dream self. “Yeah? I’m glad. I trust you too.” He might not have known Ciso for too long, but he already felt like he could count on this guy for anything. * That comment only earned another look from Cisco that just said Seriously but he did smirk. However, it faded a bit when he watched Barry with the little communicator and shook his head with an affectionate sort of smile.”You act like that’s all I’ve been up to. You’ll find out what I’ve been working on when we get you in that suit. I don’t give away all my secrets on the first date.” He teased as Barry admitted he trusted him. Cisco smiled at that. Something a little more genuine. “You know that suit wasn’t meant to be a display forever.” He added casually, hoping he could convince Barry into it again. * Barry smiled at the look that Cisco was giving him. “I don’t know if I should be excited to see what else you’ve been working on or if I should be scared.” Maybe he could be a little bit of both. “So you give them away on the second date then?” he jokingly asked. “Okay, I know what you’re trying to do.” He stood back up. “Come on. Give it to me Let’s see what you’ve done.” |