Hanna Marin (i__knowwhoiam) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-05-18 00:58:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, caleb rivers, hanna marin |
Who: Hanna Marin & Caleb Rivers
What: Afternoon catch-up
When: 14th May, early evening
Where: Hanna's place
Rating/Warnings: PG / None
Status: Complete
Caleb had been enjoying getting to know Hanna. The real Hanna. Not the girl from his dreams. Which there were a lot of similarities but still. He was falling for the girl in this world. Besides he hadn’t even had any new dreams since before Hanna showed up. Not that he was complaining. He didn’t exactly want to see Hanna pissed off at him, see how much he had hurt her. He’d much rather just focus on his real life and real relationship.
He had been spending his lunch breaks with Hanna on a regular basis. So when Hanna canceled having lunch with him earlier that day he couldn’t help but be concerned. Had he done something wrong? Was she upset with him? It ate away at him all day. As soon as he was done with work he headed to her place needing to see her. Not just because he wanted to make sure everything was okay, but also because he missed her.
Dressed in jeans, a grey t-shirt and green jacket Caleb took a breath and knocked on Hanna’s door.
Hanna was dressed in yoga pants and a soft oversized sweater that hung off one shoulder, revealing the left strap of the pale purple tank she had on underneath. She had fluffy pink socks on because even though it was warm, when she was as tired as she was right now her whole body was literally freezing. Exhaustion pulled at her so when she’d had to get up for class she’d buried her head back under the pillow and tried to go back to sleep and not be assaulted by dreams that were in equal parts horrible as they were reminders of what she’d already lived through.
Who needed to dream about being fat twice? Not Hanna, that was for sure. It was probably another reason as to why she was wearing oversized items. Easier to bury in and hide. Her last set of dreams had involved blowing up a shed and some girl called Alison disappearing, and then for her to be further along in high school and for Alison’s body to be found.
The dreams felt so real that Hanna’s head was spinning, and they were every night. She’d had the same dream - about Ali’s body - over and over for the past few nights, each dream unfolding a little more of what she felt like was a bigger story. Part of her wanted to sleep more to find it out. Another part of her wanted to prop her eyelids open with toothpicks and never sleep again.
Still, the knocking at her door was weird and she shuffled over, hair in a messy top-knot as she pulled the door open to see Caleb, soft and concerned, on the other side. Her reaction - which she was not proud of - was to immediately close the door in his face, panic clenching her gut. He wasn’t supposed to see her like this!
But then, she pulled the door open again, pouting at him and turning away to shuffle back towards her couch, tugging a blanket up to wrap over her head in a silent invitation for him to come in. She sat down heavily, cocooned in a pale pink cashmere blanket.
Caleb’s jaw dropped slightly when Hanna shut the door in his face. Okay maybe he had done something wrong. Although he had no idea what. But then she opened the door again, wrapped in a blanket and walking over to the couch. Caleb stood in the doorway for a moment processing what happened before he slowly made his way inside, shutting the door behind him.
Hanna may have thought she was a mess, but Caleb still thought she looked beautiful. The clothes she wore, or hair in a messy bun didn’t matter to him. She was gorgeous. Still the wrapping up in a blanket on the couch was concerning. His brow furrowed, a small frown formed on his face. “Are you okay?” He asked making his way to the couch unsure if he should sit down next to her or not.
Hanna grumbled something under her breath and waved the hand that emerged from underneath her cocoon to indicate that if he wanted to sit down he could. There was no need for him to hover awkwardly over her looking at her like she was some kind of swamp thing that had crawled out from some kind of haunted lake. She huffed out a breath and turned, the blanket wrapped around her largely obscuring her face so she pulled it down, freeing her eyes so she could look at him.
“I’m fine, Caleb,” she told him, “just tired. I’m sorry I missed lunch. I was trying to catch up on sleep.” She hadn’t succeeded.
He took a seat next to Hanna on the couch, wanting to reach out and wrap her in his arms, but it was a little difficult with the blanket barrier. His frown deepened at her words. “Don’t worry about it,” Caleb said softly. “I just,” he paused briefly considering his words. “I misses you,” he finished which was the truth. Along with being worried he had fucked up somehow. He was still new to the whole dating thing.
“You been having trouble sleeping?” he asked brow furrowed in concern.
Hanna’s eyebrow arched and she smiled a little, buried as she was in her blanket. She emerged a few moments later, pushing it back from where it had been over her head and she looked at him balefully. “Just not sleeping well,” she told him, hesitating for a moment before she wriggled and flopped to the side, resting her head on Caleb’s thigh, laying on her back to look up at him, nose wrinkled.
Caleb lifted his hand, stroking Hanna’s hair, or more her scalp considering her hair was still in that bun. But still his fingers ran through the parts it could. “No?” Caleb asked still frowning in concern. He had a feeling her knew why, or at least a conclusion he jumped to. Hanna was having dreams. But man he really hoped he was wrong. “Stresses about school?” he asked instead.
Hanna shrugged awkwardly, half tempted to untie her hair so it fell in a matted nest over her face and Caleb could just run his fingers through it. She wriggled a little closer, silently approving of what he was doing. It felt nice.
“I wish,” she mumbled, her fingers brushing over his jaw before it disappeared back into her blanket. “Just...weird dreams.”
Caleb continued to stroke Hanna’s hair, doing his best to soothe her. All he wanted was to make her feel better. His stomach sunk at her words. Dreams. He had a really bad feeling he knew what that meant. “What kind of dreams?” He asked softly fingers still working in her hair.
Hanna blinked up at Caleb lazily from where she was resting. This was more comfortable than she had anticipated. She half- shrugged and resisted the urge to turn onto her side and hide her face in Caleb’s stomach and just go take a nap.
“Weird ones? I mean, not like, going to class naked or whatever. I don’t know I just- it’s like I’m dreaming stuff that happened except it didn’t happen that way? Like- it makes no sense, I know.”
Caleb would have been totally fine if Hanna wanted to take a nap on him. She’d be getting sleep which she clearly needed.
“Like stuff from your life? Just slightly different?” That was how Caleb’s dreams started too. Basically the life he had growing up. Until he got to Rosewood. He wondered what would have happened if he met Hanna in high school. If he still would have continued with his life of crime. But it didn’t matter now really. He was out. He was finally getting his life on track. There was no point thinking about the what if’s. Besides he wasn’t exactly proud of the way he treated Hanna in the dreams.
“Yeah, I mean, there are some huge differences too,” Hanna said, looking up at him. How was it even remotely fair that he still looked so good when his face was upside down? It seemed unfair. It was definitely unfair. How dare he have such a good face.
She wet her lower lip, snuggled into her blanket some more and nudged Caleb’s hand with her head since he’d stopped petting her hair. God forbid she ask him to continue. He could just understand from the very subtle suggestions she was providing.
“Like, I’m in a different place, and I’ve got different friends that I never, like I never even knew? And one of them was, like, really mean.”
At Hanna’s nudge Caleb got right back to stroking her hair. He hadn’t even realized he stopped, just got caught up in thoughts of his own dreams he supposed.
“Yeah?” he asked fingers working their way through her hair. He bit his lip debating how much he should say. But he didn’t want to think she was the only one dealing with stuff like this. And more importantly he didn’t want to keep anything from her.
“Is that place be called Rosewood?”
Hanna frowned where she was lying down, watched something play over Caleb’s face and then she sat up, pulling away from the petting of her hair (which sucked but she didn’t want to have this conversation upside down) and turning to face him, kneeling on the couch, both of her hands on his thigh.
“Rosewood?” she asked, “You know Rosewood? How do you- that’s where my dreams are.”
And then Hanna was sitting up. Well he supposed saying the name of the town from both their dreams was pretty shocking. Still he was a little disappointed that he couldn’t keep comforting her. At least not the way he had been. He settled for placing a hand over hers.
“Yeah,” he replied softly. “I’ve uh… I’ve dreamed of Rosewood too.”
“You have?” Hanna’s eyes were wide, her fingers flexing against the fabric of his jeans, one turning to catch his fingers almost out of instinct. “Really? But I- You’re-” she wet her lower lip, shuffling a little closer, blanket pooled behind her on the couch completely forgotten. She kind of registered the chill on her shoulder from where her sweater was pulled to the side but there were other things that were taking her attention than temperature.
She tilted her head. “You’re not in mine, though.”
“Yeah,” Caleb said again giving her hand a squeeze. This wasn’t exactly an easy conversation to have. He wasn’t even sure if he should be telling her. But it felt wrong, keeping it from her.
“I don’t know,” Caleb said scratching the back of his head with his other hand. “I move to Rosewood while you’re in high school.” Caleb didn’t know enough about her friends to know which one was the really mean one. But he knew they were all close. Still he couldn’t say that it was after Ali died. While he knew she did, he had no idea that was the really mean friend Hanna was talking about.
Hanna tilted her head. Though they were just dreams, knowing Caleb had dreamed of the town too made her feel comforted but also not. It was weird. She’d dreamed about some horrible things; Ali was mean but Hanna had adored her, for some reason, she’d been an accomplice to Ali burning a garage down and ending up causing a girl to have gone blind, not to mention all the other stuff that happened even before their junior year of high school.
“When?” she asked, “I mean- when do you come to Rosewood?” She wet her lower lip. “Do we- are we- do we know each other?”
Caleb took a breath before trying to answer Hanna’s questions. It wasn’t like he knew exactly what was going on in her life when he showed up. Just that Hanna’s friend couldn’t call her girlfriend and needed her phone fixed. And that she needed Mrs. Montgomery to not go somewhere so he messed with her car.
“Sometime in your junior year,” he replied, voice soft. “Yeah,” he added squeezing her hand again. “We know each other.”
“Ugh thank God,” Hanna enthused, leaning forward until her forehead rested against Caleb’s shoulder, pressing a kiss there first. “So, like, at least there’s one person in my dreams I can trust.”
Caleb swallowed. Hanna shouldn’t trust him in the dreams. He had spied on her. Even if he had agreed to it before he knew her. Even if he figured it was just some petty mean girl bull shit. Even if he stopped the second he started caring about Hanna. He had still done it. But he couldn’t tell her about any of that. He didn’t know how.
Instead he just placed a kiss on the top of her head, pulling her close. “I’m going to take that to mean you trust me here,” he said grinning.
“You’re in my house seeing me in my fat clothes,” Hanna grumbled, nose pressed against Caleb’s neck as she was pulled against him. “What do you think that means?”
“Your fat clothes?” Caleb quirked a brow. Though he was frowning on the inside. In the dreams Hanna had told him about being sent to fat camp. He didn’t like her referring to anything about her as fat. “I guess that means you trust me,” he finally said planting another kiss on top her head.
“Yeah,” Hanna muttered, humming at the kiss to her crown, eyes closing as she nuzzled closer. “I guess it does.” She couldn’t really wriggle any closer but that didn’t stop her trying, half tempted to just climb into his lap and wrap her arms around his shoulders but she didn’t. That felt like it was probably just too intimate. And as forward as she might have been about literally everything else in her life, there was something that she always held back with boyfriends. Probably because previously they hadn’t really been in the same place as her. Something else she could have done without reliving, if she were honest.
Caleb did wrap his arm around Hanna tighter, pulling her as close as he could. “Now,” Caleb said softly. “Why don’t you relax and get some sleep.” He could tell how exhausted she was. Plus he knew first hand how tiring dreaming could be. “I’m not going anywhere.” And he meant it. He would stay right there until Hanna woke up.
Hanna grumbled against Caleb again, though she was pretty tired. It would, however, require her moving away from him and she didn’t know how she felt about that. “You didn’t come over here to watch me nap, Caleb,” she pointed out, leaning back to look at him and wondering just when she’d gotten so lucky to have met someone like him. She was so grateful, and a part of her was looking forward to when she ran into him in her dreams.
A yawn suddenly overtook her and she covered her mouth quickly. “Are you- are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Caleb replied. His arm was still around her, but he patted his lap with his free hand. His way of inviting Hanna to use him as a pillow again. Whatever Hanna needed, Caleb was here for it.