Leon Orcot (under_arrest) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-04-16 17:12:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, leon orcot, veronica mars |
“It’s a fruit. It’s tangy. You need to peel it. Good breakfast juice.”
Who: Leon and Veronica
What: Leon and Veronica enter a contest to win a trip to the Bahamas.
When: This last weekend, before the Doomsayers.
Where: The mall
Ratings/Warnings: Leon is very bad at this game. Other than that, low/none.
Status: Complete
Leon had never been especially fond of malls, and all the hoards of assholes that frequented them. For one, it seemed half the times he came here he ended up catching some shoplifter needing to take him into the station. Well, maybe needed was too strong of a word. The captain always rolled his eyes whenever Leon arrested shoplifters and pickpockets when he was off duty, but it was his job and he was going to do it.
But Chris was growing and needed new clothes, and Leon thought he’d surprise him with something nice when he came home from school. And since Veronica was free too, he’d come with her.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell is this,” Leon grumbled, attempting to elbow his way through a crowd of people. It was even more than what he was used to, and he only realized belatedly the stage that they were all in front of.
“And for our grand prize, we have a trip for two to the Bahamas,” the announcer said. Leon stopped in his tracks. Chris could definitely use a trip to the Bahamas, Leon thought. Hell, the both of them could. With everything going on, a couple of weeks in some warm tropical paradise sounded like exactly what he needed.
“So, ladies and gentlemen, we need two people to come up here and show us all what they’re made of.”
“Veronica, let’s do it,” Leon said, already grabbing her by the wrist so that he could raise both of their hands.
Veronica was with Leon on the whole not liking malls thing. She would much rather be back in her office than at a crowded mall. But it was for Chris. And Veronica would do almost anything for the little guy. Plus Leon couldn’t really be trusted to pick out Chris’s clothes on his own. The poor kid would be stuck wearing ridiculous t-shirts.
And then there was a huge crowd in the middle of the damn mall. Veronica was not about it. Until she heard a trip to the Bahamas. She and Logan could use a getaway. Leave Liam with her dad for a week or so. They had both been working hard and barely got to see each other.
“I can raise my hand myself, Orcot,” Veronica shot back when Leon grabbed her wrist. She held her hand up in the air side by side with Leon. “If we win. I get the trip.”
“Not a chance,” Leon said. “This is definitely for me and Chris,” Leon shot back.
From up on the stage, the announcer watched the couple and grinned. He couldn’t tell what the couple was bickering about, but it was clear that this married couple would be hilarious up on the stage. Exactly the kind of act that would keep people interested.
“You two,” he said, picking them out of the crowd. “Come on up here.”
Veronica was about to argue that Leon didn’t need the trip. He had no one to go with. But part of her knew that would be a low blow. He was still dealing with his break up after all. And anyway before she could say it the announcer called them up. Veronica made her way up to the stage with Leon.
“This is how the game works,” the announcer began. “You two are going to put on these blindfolds.” With that he handed them each a blindfold.
Veronica wrinkled her nose. She didn’t really want to wear a damn blind fold. Trip to the Bahamas she reminded herself. “And then what?” she asked the announcer waiting for more details before she put it on.
“Then we will give you different foods to taste. You’re going to describe the food to your partner without saying the name. The goal is to get them to guess it.”
Sounded simple enough. “Alright,” Veronica replied to the announcer before looking over at Leon. “We got this, Orcot,” she said and with that she put on her blindfold.
“Yeah we do,” Leon said, grinning. These people had no idea what they were getting into. If they’d known that they would choose a bonafide detective and… well, Veronica, they’d have known that the contest didn’t stand a chance.
Leon put on his blindfold and sat down, and the first plat was put in front of him. He took a couple of bites, trying to figure out what it was he was eating, and then “Oh!” he exclaimed. “Oh! It’s uh, it’s Cheerios!”
“You’re not supposed to say it!” Veronica replied as the audience cracked up along with the host.
“Alright why don’t you give it a try,” the announcer said to Veronica.
Veronica took a bite of her food. “Oh, oh,” Veronica said taking another bite. “It’s a fruit. It’s tangy. You need to peel it. Good breakfast juice.”
Well, that was easy. Fruit, need to peel, breakfast. “Banana!” Leon exclaimed, only to hear the crowd laugh again. Obviously he’d gotten it wrong. Veronica was clearly terrible at this.
Banana? What the hell? Who drank banana juice. Though with all the health fads it was probably a thing. “Tangy, Orcot. Tangy!”
“Bananas aren’t tangy, Veronica,” Leon snapped back, and then the answer came to him. “Orange!” he said instead.
“Well, it took a while, but you made it there,” the announcer said, near tears from laughing so hard. He brought out the next food item for Leon, and Leon took a bite, and immediately grimaced. “Oh god. This is terrible for your cholesterol. Uh, it’s mushy. Mushy and bad for your cholesterol.”
What the hell kind of clues were those? Mushy… “Applesauce?” Veronica guessed. But that wasn’t bad for your cholesterol.
“Your cholesterol, Veronica,” Leon said again, giving a long suffering sigh. “It’s a breakfast food!”
“Ummm oatmeal?” Veronica questioned but that helped lower cholesterol it wasn’t bad for it. Still it was mushy and it was a breakfast food. Veronica was seriously at a loss for what Leon was trying to make her guess.
“You and I are going to have a serious talk about cholesterol later,” Leon muttered, once again to laughter. “No, it’s like… it’s a sauce. And you put it on your eggs. You put it on your poached eggs.”
“Hollandaise!” Veronica shouted which received clapping from the audience. “You should have started with that!” she snapped at Leon.
But then it was time for her to eat again. “Oh… oh. It’s a pasta. Comes with a red sauce. Sometime with meatballs.”
“Spaghetti!” Leon exclaimed. He was pretty good at this. It was too bad that Veronica was just so bad at guessing.
But then his next food item came out, and he dove headfirst into it. “Ugh, it’s sweet,” he muttered. “Uh… D really likes the ones from Madame Bouviour’s shop!”
“I don’t know what D likes!” Veronica exclaimed getting frustrated. What the hell was wrong with Leon? She didn’t even bother to guess. She was going to need more clues than that.
Leon flushed, because of course she didn’t. It wasn’t like Veronica was in Leon’s dreams, and while Leon would complain to anyone who would listen in his dreams about D’s poor dietary choices on top of all his murdering, human trafficking, and drug dealing, he generally stuck to the latter in real life.
“It’s a pastry. Uh…” how did D describe it? Heavenly custard. Such succulent fruit. Oh My dear detective, doesn’t it just melt in your mouth? Leon wasn’t going to wax poetic about a stupid fucking tart, but “It’s got custard and fruit.”
Pastry. Croissant maybe? But then Leon said custard and fruit. “A tart!” Veronica replied receiving another cheer. Good she had gotten it right. It helped when Leon gave actual clues and didn’t just name stuff from his dreams. But he didn’t have a thing for D at all…
Veronica took a bite of her next food. “Ick,” Veronica said. This was not good plain. “It’s a condiment. Goes good on sandwiches. Made out of eggs.”
“Must-” Leon started, and then cut himself off. “Oh! Eggs! Mayonnaise!” They really did seem to be on a roll now.
He took a bite of his next meal. “Oh, Chris really likes them! Uh… they’re… they’re round. And brown. And… bready? I guess.”
Well at least Veronica knew the person Leon was referencing this time. Foods Chris liked. Pizza? No that wasn’t round. Icecream? No. That wasn’t bready. Oh!
“Chicken nuggets!” Veronica shouted only to have another food shoved in front of her.
She took a bite. “Oh, Oh,” Veronica said taking another bite. “It’s crunchy! And salty. Brown! Twisty shape!”
Salty, brown, and twisty? Leon frowned. The hell could that be? “Some sort of newfangled chip?” he asked after a moment.
“No!” Veronica exclaimed. “But close! It’s definitely a snack food. Made out of bread. Salty! Very salty!”
“Oh, uh,” Leon said, struggling for the word. “Bread bows! Pretzels!” There. That was right.
Then, the next food was put in front of him. He took a bite, and immediately grinned. “Oh! It’s my favourite food.”
Well that was the easiest clue Veronica had ever had. “Hamburgers!” she replied loudly. She considered going on and naming pizza, just going through all Leon’s favorite foods but the crowd was already cheering.
“And that’s our time,” the host said.
Leon whipped off his blindfold, grinning and ready to claim his prize, because as far as he was concerned, he and Veronica had killed it.
“But I’m sorry to say that you were just three answers short of winning our grand prize.” Leon scowled. He sure didn’t look sorry, with that idiotic grin plastered on his face. “But it’s not so bad. You did win dinner for two at Olive Garden!”
Leon snorted. “Dibs on the dinner, I guess,” he grumbled in Veronica’s direction.
Veronica was more than happy to get her blindfold off. Unlike Leon she didn’t think they had killed it. His hints had been horrible. She wasn’t at all surprised to learn they hadn’t won.
Veronica was about to protest but decided against it. She didn’t really need a dinner at Olive Garden. “Enjoy, Orcot,” Veronica said before walking off the stage - leaving him behind in the process. She was very much over the game.
Leon watched Veronica go for a minute, a little confused about why she seemed so crotchety. “Gimme that,” he muttered, plucking the gift certificate from the announcer’s hands and then chasing Veronica off the stage.
“Hey, V, wait,” he called, catching up to her. “You angry?”
“No,” Veronica replied. “Just annoyed. We played that stupid game and I didn’t even get a trip out of it. You really need to learn how to describe food better, Orcot.” Because this was really all his fault. But whatever. It was a good thing Veronica didn’t really give a shit about making a fool of herself, that would require caring what other people thought.
Leon had been about to bite back that she should try it, but then he remembered that she literally just had and… well, if he was being honest, she probably did a better job at it than he did. “Yeah, well, it’s not something I do on a daily basis,” he muttered instead.
“No shit,” Veronica replied. “Not exactly something I do on a daily basis either.” Or like ever. She sighed pushing her annoyance aside. “Just remind me not to enter any more contests with you, Orcot,” she added that usual smirk back on her face. “Save us both a lot of trouble.”
“Done and done,” Leon said. Entering contests like this was more headache than it was worth. Hopefully the rest of the shopping trip would be uneventful.
“Come on,” Veronica said heading towards a clothing store. “Let’s go get Chris some decent t-shirts.”