Where did you get that armor?
Who: Harley and Diana What: In which the fantabulous Harley Quinn takes Diana's puncturing virginity When: Recent Where: Out and about status: complete Rating: PG-13
Harley was in a mood. And if by mood one meant she was bored out of her skull, that might actually be it. She’d spent most of the day wandering around an upscale auction, until she’d stumbled across a series of lots from movies.
With money to spare and an eye for irony, she bought her own costume from Suicide Squad, a number of costumes from Star Trek and Star Wars, and the crown jewel of her new collection, the Wonder Woman costume from Wonder Woman.
She sent the rest home via a trusted shipping service, pulled on the Wonder Woman costume, stuffed the front so it didn’t sag, and then headed down the street.
What? She’d read her own comics about this kind of thing.
Diana had been out to run a few errands. She’d stopped by a book shop to pick up a couple books she’d been interested in, mostly related to her job and general curiosity about the ancient world. She’d also stopped and bought some more cat food for her cats. Sometimes she swore the two had the appetites of the gods they were named after. Then she was going to pick up some coffee to take back home with her. It was when she was coming out of the cafe that she noticed someone walking down the street towards her wearing...her armor?
She frowned, suddenly wondering if someone had broken into her place and had stolen her armor.
Harley strutted along, giving finger guns to people as she passed and otherwise quite enjoying her cosplay of ‘Harley Quinn Cosplay’s Wonder Woman’ which was a benefit of getting to play herself doing crazy things.
She passed Diana and smiled brilliantly. “I know I’m hot so pick up your jaw, lady!”
Diana stopped when Harley came close to her, eyeing the armor. It definitely looked a lot like her armor. “Where did you get that armor?” She wasn’t going to accuse the woman of stealing just yet. Not unless she had proof of it. And she didn’t.
“It’s mine!” Harley flashed a gigantic grin at the beefy beauty. “Well it didn’t used to be mine, I had to pay for it an’ all, they was doin’ this auction of movie props an’ costumes an’ I just had to have the Wonder Woman costume!”
Recognition flashed in Harley’s eyes and she oogled Diana’s arms and chest for a moment. “Tell me somethin’ toots, what’s your name?”
Diana’s brow furrowed in confusion. An auction of movie props? What was her armor doing in one of those? She had so many questions suddenly, and not enough answers. At the question, she momentarily blinked. “Diana Prince,” she responded a little skeptically.
“Holy shit!” Harley threw up her hands. “Hey! We’ve talked on the network a bit! Dr. Harleen Quinzel at you’re service! You’re a big movie star, dontcha know?”
And comics and cartoons and action figures and erotic fanfiction and hentai but Harley for some reason couldn’t bring those up. Well, the latter two she was polite enough to keep to herself.
Diana blinked in surprise as Harley introduced herself. It took a couple moments, but she did remember they’d talked on the network before. “Oh yes, I remember now. I believe we were talking about something related to Batman, if I recall?”
“That’s right!” Harley sidled closer to Diana, getting her first real feast of her eyes outside of some of her dreams. “Y’know you’re a bit shorter than I expected. But I think that’s just an adaptation difference y’know?”
Harley leaned in, it becoming obvious that she’d stuffed the front of the armor to achieve a properly busty look. “It’s pretty good, ain’t it? Totally the armor they filmed your movie in.”
“Perhaps it is, yes.” Diana felt that in her new set of Dreams, she was a bit shorter than she was in her first set. Though she quickly refocused on what Harley said, her brow furrowing again. “My movie? There’s a movie about me?”
“Yeah, duh. There’s one about me too.” Harley flashed her another grin, reaching up and touching her bicep like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.
Then she looked up sharply. “What, you ain’t ever seen it? Dubya Dubya One? Or Bats Versus Supes with Doomsday an’ everything?”
Harley whipped out her phone and pulled up a trailer for Wonder Woman.
“No, I haven’t.” Diana wasn’t certain what to make of this, but she watched the trailer with some horror. What she’d dreamed about was all right there. Her mother, the Amazons, Steve, everything else. “They made a movie about what I dreamed? For entertainment? My life is not entertainment.” While she hadn’t known how to react, she was a little angry about it. There were things that had happened in those Dreams that she didn’t like other people knowing about.
Did Kitty know about this movie? Had she seen it?
“It’s… ain’t quite like that,” Harley assured her, bringing up a trailer for Suicide Squad, and then her own starring role in the Birds of Prey teaser. Harley slipped her phone back into her pocket. “Okay see, that movie came out before ya ever dreamed, right? Betcha started dreaming after it. I dunno what any of it means either but it’s like some of us…”
Harley energetically twirled her hands. “Like these movies and tv shows happened right? But what if in some alternate universe, they were real. An’ what if we’re dreamin’ ‘bout those? Some kinda timey wimey thing. Dunno, I’m a shrink not a physicist!”
She watched the trailers with Harley in them and her brow furrowed a bit as she took those in and listened to Harley’s explanation. Diana wasn’t a physicist either, but she was able to grasp what Harley seemed to mean. “So these...movies. Movies we Dream of. In this world they are fiction, but in some other reality they actually happened. They are...us in another reality. We are just...the version that lives here. So more like there are multiple versions of us in multiple realities?”
“Yep!” Harley said the word like it was a proclamation of doom. “I’ve dreamed multiple mes! There’s the me in dubya dubya too who joins forces with you an’ a buncha other ladies to kick nazi ass, an’ then there’s another version of me who’s a little crazier than the rest of me.”
Diana nodded a bit, finding some consolation in the fact that it wasn’t just her. But she still didn’t quite like people knowing certain details about her like that, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. “I understand. I am dreaming about another version of me now as well.”
“Oh oh are you?” Harley held up her hands. “Nope, nope, don’t tell me, I don’t wanna give ya spoilers!” She dropped her hands and stared firmly into Diana’s eyes. Here was (one of) her dream girl(s) and she really just wanted to fangirl. And make out with her.
“So ya got any plans for dinner?”
“I appreciate that,” Diana admitted. She wasn’t certain if she wanted spoilers for her new set of Dreams. Though these seemed to be less emotionally-charged than her first set of Dreams could be. At least so far, anyway.
“I do not believe so, why?”
“You’re hot. I’m hot. I’ve seen ya naked but you ain’t seen me naked. It’s only fair!”
Diana blinked at Harley. “That will not be happening. I have a girlfriend, and we do not share.” She hadn’t thought that Harley’s initial question had been asking her out. Such things didn’t quite register with her, especially since she’d started dating Kitty.
“Pity. I do.” Harley winked at her. She was the kind of person to share and share enthusiastically, especially when it was someone as attractive as Diana. “But I ain’t gonna pressure. Jus’ know the option will always be open!”
“That is good for you.” Diana was definitely not the sharing type. And even if she wasn’t in a relationship, she didn’t know if she could be with someone who could share like Harley said she could.
“...do ya wanna watch your movie?” Harley asked, raising her eyebrows. “Though maybe you might want to consider watchin’ it with someone you’re close to. It’s intense enough without relivin’ your experiences, dollface.”
“No. At least, not at this point in time. There are things I would rather not see right now.” Antiope and Steve’s death being at the very top of that list. Diana had only recently managed to shake off the mourning bleedover from her Dream self over Steve’s death. She didn’t need to rekindle that.
Harley understood, and not just the psychologist within herself. She liked to avoid anything that reminded her too heavily of the way the Joker had treated her, so certain comics and animated shows were strictly out. “I know it’s really strange. But… like little girls dress like us for halloween. We dolls an’ action figures. People draw us and look up to… well mostly they look up to you an’ not me. But yah make a difference, Wondy. To a lot of women an’ girls, just by existing.”
Diana took a moment to think about that. She liked the idea of being a role model. It was something that her dream-self had embraced after helping to defeat Steppenwolf. Though she looked at Harley for some moments. “I know I do not know much about you, but I would suspect there are those who look up to you as well. From what I have seen, you are a good person.”
It was pretty hard for Harley to hear that, and yet… something she hadn’t known she’d needed to hear. From Diana, or Supes or Bats, hearing that kind of thing was vindication. She threw her arms around Diana’s shoulders and squeezed. “Thank you.”
In this world, Diana liked to think she was a good judge of character. If Harley hadn’t been a good person, she’d undoubtedly have been far more rude about the whole movie-about-her thing, among other things. When Harley hugged her, Diana returned it, careful not to use too much strength. She didn’t want to crush Harley’s ribcage! “You are welcome.”