Lily Evans (aimed_curse) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-03-17 23:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | james potter, lily evans |
Who: Lily Evans and James Potter (with brief cameo by Laurence and mentions of Carrow relatives)
What: Christmas conversations
When: Backdated to Christmas Day
Where: Amycus and Regulus' house
Rating/Warnings: Misunderstandings, crying Lily, mild cursing
Status: Complete when posted
Even the years that James had spent in boarding school, he had always spent Christmas with his parents. They, of course, would spoil him with dozens of gifts, most of which he would never use but none of which he’d say no to, the help would whip up a delicious Christmas feast, and then he’d pass out in a food coma until Boxing Day.
He wasn’t going home this Christmas, which felt a little strange. It wasn’t that he was doing anything especially important, or that he couldn’t afford the flight home, but he had wanted to see what Christmas in America would be like. There’d be no Boxing Day this year, but other than that, he wasn’t entirely sure it would be very different than Christmas back home. After all, he would be spending it with a bunch of Brits.
He didn’t come empty handed. He’d come with gifts: a set of nice neckties for Amycus, a historical fiction novel that his father had recommended for Regulus, a t-shirt and a set of rom com Blu Rays for Andromeda, and a gift for Lily which he’d kept in the front pocket of his trousers.
He rang the doorbell, and tried not to think about all the fur he was going to get on his clothes when the chorus of dogs barking answered him.
***
Lily knew that Amycus and Regulus had their hands full with everyone else so when she heard the doorbell ring she excused herself to go answer it, shooting her friends a quick smile as she motioned towards the door to signify that she had it. She smoothed her dress as she went, lowering her hand when she heard clicking nails and footsteps behind her. She didn’t know which of the dogs it was but she knew they’d all been trained to recognize that as stop.
“James. You’re a bit late. Or early. I’m not exactly sure which.” She said with a smile as she saw opened the door to see him on the other side. “Watch out for escaping dogs. At least one of them seems determined to play in the snow some more today.”
***
James grinned widely. “A wizard, my dear, is never early or late. He shows up exactly when he means to.” Or something like that. James had never been that interested in nerdy things like Lord of the Rings or what have you, but at least he knew the line.
He leaned forward to give her a light kiss on the cheek, and then, before she could react, he slipped past her into Amycus’s house, shooting her a toothy grin. “Guess it’s time for this party to really get started,” he announced playfully.
***
“I think you need to grow out the beard a bit before you can start quoting Gandalf.” Lily said, unable to resist the urge to tease him a little bit as she slid back to let him past, fingers curling into the collar of the dog who had appeared at her side.
She gave him a smile at that kiss on the cheek, closing the door behind him and releasing her grip on the collar, a quick glance telling her it was Chip’s. The escape artist who’d been trying to get out into the snow all day. “Please tell me you don’t have anything too wild planned. Amycus’ parents were just talking about how much they’re enjoying the visit. I want them to come back again. With more treats from home.” She added after a moment, a little selfish of her and she knew it but it was true.
***
“And cover up this beautiful face of mine?” James asked, feigning shock and horror, rubbing a hand over his smooth chin for emphasis.
“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” he assured her. “Trust me, old people love me.” It was a little braggadocious, perhaps, but it wasn’t a lie. His father had brought their family into upper crust British society long before James was born, and that, coupled with the old age of his parents when he had been born, meant that he had a lifetime figuring out how to please rich, old Brits. He managed to keep the most abrasive of his tendencies for when he was with people his own age, or when he was with someone he didn’t particularly care for, and, for the most part, his elders found his roguish demeanour charming.
He removed his winter jacket, and with a quick glance around to make sure it was just himself and Lily in the foyer, then pulled his wand out from the inside pocket of his dinner jacket, and with a muttered incantation and a flick of his wrist, his shoes were clean and dried from the snow, and his clothes became pressed as though they were fresh from the drycleaners. He offered his elbow to Lily. “Why don’t you walk me in?”
***
Lily slid her arm through his, pausing for just one more minute to fill him in on what Amycus had told everyone before his parents got there that morning. “Amycus doesn’t want there to be any talk of the Dreams or magic or any of the weirdness that goes on around here. He wants to give them as normal a day as he can. So if you aren’t going to be on your best behaviour really I’ll just make sure to stick by your side and pinch you every time I think you might be about to let something slip. I mean it James.” She said, half turning towards him in the entryway.
“Lily? Who was at the door?” Amycus called from inside the living room. “Everything alright out there?”
***
James couldn’t help but laugh. “Mum’s the word,” he agreed, and mined zipping up his lips and throwing away the key. He discretely slipped his wand into the inside pocket of his jacket. It had only been a few months since he’d first discovered magic, but already he’d come to rely on it more than he thought he would. Still, he was relatively certain he could survive an evening with the muggles.
“Nothing to worry over, Am,” James said, entering the living room with a charming smile. “It’s just me.” He took a look at the other people in the room. Amycus and his family, of course, and a broad-shouldered blond man that he thought he recognized from the occasional societal party back in London, though he couldn’t remember the man’s name, though the man smiled and inclined his head in greeting.
“Mr. and Mrs. Carrow, it has been an age, hasn’t it?” he asked, leaving Lily’s side to greet Amycus’s father with a handshake and his mother with a friendly kiss on the cheek.
***
“Uncle James!” Laurel shouted, running towards him as he greeted her grandparents. “You missed church with us this morning!” She said throwing her arms around him to give him a hug. “Laurel!” Amycus said coming over to get her to let go. “What did I tell you about commenting on whether any of our family missed church today?” He asked once she’d let go. “Not to do it.” She said sounding almost sullen about it. “Sorry Uncle James.”
Lily had to bite back a small laugh as she watched how excited Laurel was to see James and the way Amycus handled his daughter. The twins were absolutely adorable in their Christmas dresses and were clearly enjoying all the attention they were getting from their grandparents and everyone else. She took a seat on the couch near Amycus’ parents, resisting the urge to curl her legs up under as she got comfortable.
***
James laughed, giving Laurel a bear hug in return. He waved a hand at Amycus over Laurel’s head, indicating that he didn’t mind much but also not wanting to undermine Amycus’s authority. “I had some very important things to do this morning,” he explained, leaving out the part where those very important things mostly involved lounging around in bed.
“Here,” he said, handing his bag of gifts off to Laurel. “Why don’t you go stick those under the tree for later?”
***
Laurel took the bag, running over to the tree and joining her sister Madison, who waved shyly at James before they started putting the gifts under the tree. “We’re doing gift exchange after dinner mate. Now if you’ll excuse me, Laurence and I were discussing Chip and his training. Our little pup is proving challenging for everyone who tries to teach him to follow commands.” Amycus said with a smile as he clapped his hand on James’ shoulder before going back over to his conversation with Laurence.
Lily was going to have to grab a moment with him and Regulus later to ask if they knew of anything that could help her friend Anakin. She just didn’t know how without upsetting Amycus’ plans for a magicless holiday celebration.
“So James - what have you been doing to keep busy dear?” Mrs. Carrow asked. “We’ve already talked to Lily and found out her plans for next year and William is in his military career of course.”
***
Laurence, of course. William Laurence. James was more familiar with his eldest brother than with Laurence himself, since the other man was often away at sea during all the societal parties. For a moment, he wondered why Laurence, who was already talking to Amycus again about some training techniques he’d been reading about and was interested in trying, was in America, but he didn’t get a chance to think too much on it before Mrs. Carrow was talking to him.
“Mischief, of course,” he said, with a wink. “I’m afraid I don’t have any big lofty plans like Lily here,” he shot Lily a smile. “My father does have me doing some work for the company, but that’s mostly just talking to realtors over here, and nothing that takes up too much time. So, if you need anyone to show you around while you’re here, I have more time than I know what to do with.”
***
Lily couldn’t help but roll her eyes at James’ comment about her having lofty plans. “Hardly lofty. More a headache than anything for the next few years.” She said softly.
“Is he looking to expand into the market over here?” Mr. Carrow asked him, sipping at his drink slowly.
***
“I don’t know, wanting to be a doctor is pretty amazing, Lil,” James said, shooting her a smile.
“A doctor?” Laurence said, breaking with his conversation with Amycus for a moment. “That is impressive.”
But then Mr. Carrow asked his question, and James had to fight to keep the smile on his face. He hated talking about business. His father had, at one point, thought that James would someday take over the family business, but James had made it clear enough that his father had dropped it just so long as James would help out in other ways.
“I think so,” he said, and then added with a wink “Americans have hair too, after all. I hope you don’t mind if I steal Lily away for a few moments.”
***
Lily gave James a smile but before she could say anything Laurence’s question hit her ears and she turned to answer him. “That’s the plan at least. I was a biology major at University and wanting to go into medicine was part of why I chose to move here instead of applying back home.” Part of why. The rest of it was wanting a chance to start over, away from people who knew her from boarding school and her parents. A chance to start over away from people who planned out her life for her.
Mrs. Carrow reached out to gently squeeze her husband’s hand, a silent reminder that they’d promised not to steer the conversation towards business. “I’ll have to swing around to chat with him when we get home. I’m sure he and your mother will appreciate finding out that you’re doing well here.” The older man said.
“Of course we don’t mind dear.” Mrs. Carrow said, getting up from her seat to go join the girls near the tree with Apollo who was trying to grab onto the garland near the bottom.
“What am I getting stolen away for now?” Lily asked him.
***
“I think he’d like that a lot. My parents do love your visits,” he told Mr. Carrow, before shooting a wink at Lily in answer to her question, taking her by the elbow, and steering her out of the room and onto the balcony.
“Truth be told, I just wanted an excuse to get away from the business talk,” he said once they were out of earshot. “I can’t think of anything worse than talking about Sleekeazy all night, can you?”
***
Lily wished that she’d kept her wrap closer to her as they stepped onto the balcony, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to block off some of the cold. “Next time that’s the truth you have my permission to lie to me.” She told him with a small laugh. “I was rather enjoying the break in the interrogation about me and my plans. There’s only so much interest from parents I can stomach thanks.”
***
“You and me both,” James said, grinning a bit. “Though, since I have you out here…” He reached into his pocket, his fingers closing around the small, wrapped box that had Lily’s gift in it. “I thought maybe I could give you your Christmas gift in private?”
***
“Yours is under the tree in there so you’ll just have to wait unless you want me to run back in and get it. Although then I might have to explain to the twins why I’m looting through the present pile.” Lily said with a raised brow. “So...what’s it going to be? Waiting or me looting the present pile?” She was curious though about her gift though and why he’d held onto it when he gave the others to the twins to put under the tree.
***
“I can wait,” James assured her. He pulled the wrapped jewelry box, containing a necklace with the pendant of a deer, made of gold and silver, from his pocket, and handed it over to her.
***
Lily gave him a smile at that assurance. “Good answer. It might have started a riot if I’d tried. They’ve been barely able to resist tearing into the packages so far.” She said, the smile changing to a look of confusion at the small wrapped box as she reached out a hand to take it.
She unwrapped the box, admittedly not carefully but she wanted to see what was inside it. She opened it, removing the delicate chain and holding it up before looking up at James. “It’s gorgeous.” She said turning her back to him. “Would you mind?” She asked holding the necklace up over her shoulder for him.
***
“So you like it?” James asked, smiling though inside it felt like a weight had been lifted off. He had, of course, hoped that Lily would like it and accept it, but there had been a small, niggling doubt in the back of his mind that she would refuse it outright.
He took the necklace in his hands, and clasped it around Lily’s neck, his fingers inadvertently brushing against the back of her neck.
***
“I love it.” Lily told him honestly as she turned back around to face him, trying to ignore the little shivers that she’d felt as his fingers brushed over her skin. She leaned into kiss his cheek softly. “Thank you. As I suddenly realize that my gift is horrible in comparison so I’ll have to make it up to you later.” She said trying to keep her tone light and teasing even as her fingers traced over the necklace lightly.
***
“Oh, don’t worry. I know that no one could possibly compete with me, the gift giving master,” James said, giving Lily a teasing grin, his cheek warm where her lips had touched it. “Actually, Lil, I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you while we were out here.”
***
Lily raised one brow at him in a quizzical manner at that comment about talking while they were out there. “Should I be worried?” She said, trying to keep her tone light as she looked at him.
***
“God I hope not,” James said, wondering suddenly if this was news that Lily would take badly. But now wasn’t the time to show indecision or nervousness. A lack of confidence was very not sexy. “I’ve been thinking lately, about you. About us, really. And about how much I fancy you. I have for a while now, since our school days, really.” And there. That was where James made himself stop. There was no need to ramble on like some sort of moonstruck buffoon.
***
Lily hadn’t been expecting that statement from him and she blinked at him in surprise not sure what to say at first, her mind racing. She’d convinced herself that his flirting from time to time and the kiss they’d shared at his place last July had just been James being James. He’d always been a flirt after all which had been part of why she’d refused to let her little crush on him grow when they’d been at school. “James I swear if this is one of your jokes I will use you for target practice before my next Merida job.” She said, her voice steady but it was a struggle. Well she’d tried to refuse to let it grow. It hadn’t worked all that well but she’d never let herself think about it, about him that way until they’d moved here. That kiss...that kiss hadn’t let her hide from her feelings anymore so she’d shoved them down.
“Because I’ve been thinking about you a lot too.”
***
“I’d never joke about something like that,” James said. He’d have been hurt if he thought Lily actually thought him capable of something like that - sure, he wasn’t always the nicest bloke, but if he didn’t like someone he let them know; feigning affection or interest for the sake of a prank was too cruel - but he didn’t actually think that she believed him capable of that.
“I’ve tried to keep you at an arm’s length because well, if I ever got serious about you, I’d fall helplessly head over heels for you, and then that’d be it for me. No more having my own life, or doing the things I want, or having fun. I’d just be on the fast track to some boring old life like my folks. But then when I thought of you with someone else…” Well, he knew what a catch Lily was. Someone else no doubt would see that one of these days too.
***
“I know you wouldn’t. I just… wasn’t expecting you to say that.” Lily said, stepping back from the door so that her back was against the railing so that they could talk without her having to worry about someone interrupting them. Or their friends (or Amycus’ daughters) eavesdropping.
She frowned at his statement about it being it for him, crossing her arms over her stomach as she waited for him to finish. “And you just decided on your own that that’s what I would want if we were together? For you to have to give up everything that you like doing and having fun? Did you ever stop to think that the life of being with the same person day in and day out and sharing every interest, every moment of the day, every hobby might not be what I wanted? That is a huge part of why I cut all ties with Sev when I found out what he was telling people! Because he was making decisions about what kind of relationship I would want without talking to me.” Lily paused to take a deep breath to calm herself down.
“I would never ask you, or anyone I was serious about to give up the things they enjoyed doing. Well except for picking up other people at bars and clubs.”
***
“What? No, that’s not,” James started, and then stopped. “This is coming out all wrong,” he muttered to himself, self-consciously running his hand through his hair. “I don’t think you’d ever ask me to give up anything I loved, or that we’d have to do everything together. It’s just… I mean, you’ve met my parents.”
A little, at least. James had always been a little embarrassed just how old his parents were, old enough to be his grandparents at least. And how much they doted on him when they were around. So when they visited the school, he generally did a very brief introduction with his friends and then tried very hard to keep them away from each other.
But when he saw himself someday settling down, he saw himself like them in a way. Madly in love despite putting up with one another for nearly sixty years now, his dad listening to old jazz records or playing the trumpet while his mom painted or drew in another corner of the room, his dad with his bowling league and his mom with her book clubs and knitting circles. Maybe they did their own thing, but that didn’t stop them from being downright boring about it.
***
Lily was doing her best to keep from interrupting him, to keep from yelling at the entire situation they were in. She closed her eyes, counting to ten as she took more deep breaths. She couldn’t let anyone see how upset she was over what she still thought he’d assumed. He knew, better than most of their friends actually, what had happened back at boarding school.
“Yeah I have. And sweet as they are. As they’ve always been to me - I’m nothing like either of them.” She said, eyes opening and her voice staying low. She put her hands down by her side after wiping her eyes to make sure she wasn’t crying as hard as she thought.
***
And now he’d made her cry. James bit his bottom lip, and ran his hand through his hair. “Well, I’ve gone and buggered this all up,” he said after a moment, and sighed. “I’m sorry, Lil. How about we just forget I said anything and head back inside?”
***
“I don’t think I can.” Lily whispered, looking away from him. “I don’t think I want to.” She added after a moment looking back at him. “Do you really want to forget it?”
***
“The sticking my foot in my mouth and making you cry bit?” James asked. “You bet I do. I mean, the rest of it wasn’t so bad.” He grinned cheekily. “But I can just build on that experience and make my next attempt to sweep you off your feet that much better. You know, without the comparing us to my ancient parents part.”
***
“I’m used to you sticking your foot in your mouth.” Lily said, reaching up to wipe at her eyes again. “It wasn’t even you bringing up your parents and you know it. It was...you just decided all on your own about our future. About my future. That’s why I started crying.”
***
“Is that what you thought?” James asked, biting his lip. He really had flubbed the whole thing. “I mean, obviously I can’t make any decisions about your future without you agreeing to them.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I never meant to make you feel like I was pressuring you to go along with all of it. I was just kind of, you know, hoping that you’d want to. Maybe.”
***
“Yes and no.” Lily said, voice lowering. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster for her when it came to being around the people she was closest with. That photo album with Andromeda and now this conversation? The failed phone call with her parents to wish them a Merry Christmas that had turned into another fight because she hadn’t physically come home for the holiday? They didn’t want to get that she couldn’t get the time off that would make it worth the flight home because Petunia and her fiancee had both been able to get time off to come. She’d gotten off that call as quickly as she could, forcing a smile until the twins had gotten her spirits up enough that it wasn’t forced. “Logically - I knew you wouldn’t. You know what buttons that pushes for me. Emotionally? Today’s been a bad day on that front so I...it felt like it James.” Without thinking about it she’d started playing with the necklace around her neck.
“We can take it slowly? Trying to...see what else is here?”
***
“Oh Lil,” James said, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Lily. “I’m sorry it’s been tough,” he said, rubbing her back gently. “But yeah, we can take it slowly. However slowly you want.”
***
Even when she was annoyed and upset with him Lily couldn’t help but like it when James hugged her, relaxing as she laid her head against his shoulder. “I’m not saying glacial pace. I just don’t want us rushing.” She whispered.
***
“How about I let you set the pace?” James asked. He didn’t want to rush Lily along, but now that he’d told Lily how he felt… well, most of his previous reservations seemed kind of silly. “In the meantime, what do you say we go back inside where it’s warm?”
***
“Only if you tell me honestly that my makeup doesn’t show I’ve been crying.” Lily said as she pulled away enough to look up at him.
***
James wiped away a bit of smudged mascara from under her eyes with his thumb, and then took a long look at her. He continued looking for a couple of seconds even after he was sure that she showed none of the telltale signs of crying. “You look perfect,” he said, and then moved to open the balcony door for her, and teasingly added “you’ll have to tell me what brand you use if I ever start wearing make-up. Seems like it’ll last through just about anything.”