Jemma Simmons is a terrible liar (needanewplan) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-03-02 12:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, cisco ramon (vibe), jemma simmons |
Who: Cisco and Jemma
What: Looking into powers
When: January 31
Where: The Agency
Warnings: Low
Status: Log | Complete
Between visions and actual physical zombie attacks, Cisco had been set back from work. Which was frustrating. Vacation had been good, but after that was over he was itching to get back into science and work. He had a life to get back to, he didn’t want to live on eternal vacation. He needed a sense of purpose, and now he had one. He was finally back at work, and this time had brought everything with him. Dream glasses, shiny new super suit, all of it.
He was ready to figure out how to stop his own body from attacking him every time the visions happened. Every time it caused real and severe damage to his neural system, and if left unchecked would continue to cause more harm than good. Not to mention, he was tired of gut wrenching pain.
His first stop was Jemma’s workspace, where he would wait for tests. Then see what step two was. He was prepared for anything, even if it meant a day of pain to potentially stop or reduce it in the future, but he’d be lying if he wasn’t nervous what the day might hold.
---
The Scourge had been dealt with and things had gone back to normal. Or as normal as Orange County ever was. Which for her was running the department and going over different tests and experiments. There was a lot to go into and with Cisco down for the count thanks to being attacked during the latest invasion, well...it was what it was. There was also the part of her that was concerned about Skye and all of this, of waiting for the Dreams to come back and for them to hit her ex and best friend but there really wasn’t much she could do about that.
So for now, she was looking over reports. Or at least, she had been until Cisco stopped by. Marking her place as it was at least a good place to stop, Jemma gave a small smile.
“Welcome back. What can I do for you?” Because it was clear he had something he wanted to work on given everything he had in hand.
---
“Thanks, odd as it is I’m glad to be back.” It meant he was capable of properly functioning, or at least mostly. Save if someone ran into him or really attacked him. Then he’d be in trouble, but for daily tasks? He was fine. He could mostly move again anyway. “I want to know how much damage that vision did. Is there a way to measure it?” He needed to know what was going on with him internally.
“Also.” Putting down the bag on the ground, he pulled out a pair of sleek looking dark sunglasses, the sides giving off a soft blue glow. “These have been reacting to something all morning.” He hesitated as he looked down at them vibrating in his hands. “They feel alive again. Sometimes they are, sometimes they go cold.”
Glancing over at her with a small frown for a moment he paused. “I know it’s a lot to ask..but I’m ready, I’m tired of not knowing.”
---
It was a reasonable request, and Jemma nodded. There hadn’t been any lasting damage when Cisco had vibed her past in the Dreams from the senses inhibitor but given how he had been when the one for the latest invasion had happened… Well, best to know one way or the other and make a plan moving forward.
Though as he asked about wanting to know about the glasses which meant (to her at least) to get control of his abilities, Jemma couldn’t help the breath she released.
“Oh thank goodness. It’s about time.” Because she knew that it took time to adjust, but when someone was getting harmed because of their abilities, understanding how they worked and doing something to control them was so important. She had never disguised her thoughts on how he needed to do that, but she’d let him come to that decision on when on his own. She was just relieved he was at that point.
“But yes, we can do all of that.”
---
“I left home without even realizing I’d left. I ended up at Stark’s place with no recollection of how I got there, or what was going on.” It was one of the most terrifying parts of the invasion. That alone had been a strong motivator for Cisco to understand more about his abilities, maybe stop it from happening again. “I don’t want to worry anyone again. I’m still a little worried, but I don’t want to be anymore.” He was more worried about the pain it might cause rather than the powers at this point. The physical pain the invasion had caused had been so much worse than he’d anticipated.
Pulling over a chair, he sat down nearby. His hands gripping at them. “Nobody condemned me for the visions. I know being afraid is in my head, I just don’t know how to get past it but I think I need to.” He was relieved when she agreed, he knew he’d taken a while to get to that point so she very well could have turned him away-but he was no longer denying his abilities. The Scourge had proven them to be reality.
---
That was definitely worrisome. True, Jemma had been busy during it all, field work and the like, but at least Cisco seemed to realize that it was something to be worried about and was actively wanting to do something about it. True, she wished it hadn’t taken something like that but it was what it was.
“Well, I’ll help however I can in figuring out a way to control this so you don’t just….walk out with no memory of it.” Because that could end in ways worse than Cisco ending up at Stark Tower.
She nodded some as Cisco said he knew the fear was in his head.
“It usually is. But it’s not surprising no one condemned you for it, we can’t control what crosses over. People here are used to it. They may not understand the specifics, but they at least know it’s possible and won’t condemn you for it. Still, that’s the important thing, recognizing that it’s in your head and that you need to work on it.”
As she spoke, Jemma went to get what she’d need to run the tests on Cisco to check for any damage that might be there from what had happened - though she doubted there would be. From there, they could figure out the glasses and how to control the abilities so they didn’t constantly leave Cisco debilitated.
---
“Stark’s people took care of me, but it could have been worse..” It could have been so much worse. He didn’t particularly want to think of how bad it could have been, so he just shook his head some in an attempt to rid of the memory of it all for the time being. If he got scared again it wasn’t going to help. He knew that much.
“I don’t remember how long I was there for, but apparently it looked like I’d been there a while. It was different than the normal vision. When I touched that thing you gave me to hold. This time it was a lot different. I could feel them tearing at reality. At me.” Hence his worry about potential damage. He didn’t know. He was walking around just fine, but internal wounds could be deceptive.
He nodded to her response as he sat back to wait for her to collect the things she needed. “I’m not used to that. Where I came from, people feared the unknown. I ended up being outcast for intelligence alone, if I’d had all this?...They’d probably have done worse than just ignored me. But here?.they listened. Maybe I can do more.”
---
“Of course they did.” It wasn’t shocking at all to Jemma. Tony had helped her when she’d been infected by the Chitauri virus even without knowing the truth of the matter. He could be abrasive and seem disinterested, but he and the people he had working for him were good people. What ifs were always the worst. It was easy to fall into a spiral and harder to pull yourself out of it.
“Peculiar….You mentioned that there are people coming from different Earths in your Dreams, I wonder if that has something to do with it. If the Scourge came from a different dimension…” It was a theory at any rate.
Coming back to Cisco, Jemma went about getting the samples he needed. They’d done this enough by this point that it was second nature and easy to keep a conversation going.
“People always are going to fear the unknown. But the people on the network have experienced enough unknown that they are more open and understanding.” She paused the shook her head, “Well people also don’t like feeling stupid and do like to shun the intelligent.” Jemma had her own experiences with that, but she had always been so focused on school and didn’t always handle interacting with people she felt were stupid that it hadn’t bothered her. Or she had just compartmentalized. It was hard to say. “Well, that is why we’re here. The Agency, I mean. To keep people who would do worse to those with abilities secret so they can’t. But yes. I do believe that you can do more if you so want to.”
---
Cisco knew what he had to do on his end for her to take whatever samples she needed, so he sat still and let her do her job. He wasn’t squeamish around needles or digital analysis. It was a thing he was entirely used to by now. He didn’t flinch or make a big deal of it, it was science. He just watched out of curiosity as she made it all look so easy.
“I’m thinking it’s all connected. I’ve never felt it that badly before, even when I’ve had the visions from contact. It hurt, but it was more...fast. Instant. It didn’t take as long to recover from.” Maybe that would fade, or maybe there was a way to control it-either way he never wanted to feel like that again.
At her pause, he gave her a questioning look, “You sound like you speak from experience?” When it came to those who shunned intelligence. He toyed with the glasses idly, and they seemed to respond to his touch. The lights became more vibrant when he brushed a finger over the grooves, and dimmed when it broke contact. “I want to. I just don’t know how yet.” He held up the glasses to catch her attention as they responded, and he raised an eyebrow. “Do you feel anything if you touch these?” He wanted to test a theory of his own.
--
Between the fact this wasn’t the first time they ran tests...and the fact that Cisco had been working at a hospital before, it would be rather strange if he did still have hang ups on the matter or didn’t know what was needed. Still, for her it was more or less second nature at this point. She might still be in the process of getting her MD thanks to the constantly being pulled into doing medical work, but she had done it enough here and the Dreams that it was just part of her life now.
“It would make sense. Moving between dimensions would certainly leave a stronger energy signature than simply an item or person with something they’re withholding or with strong emotional residue.”
As he asked about her personal experience, Jemma just shrugged.
“I started at Cambridge right before my sixteenth birthday, it comes with the territory.” Jemma never let it get to her. Not really. She had her own experiences and she knew they didn’t match up with most people’s based on where she was at sixteen and most people were, but it was simply the way it had gone. What could she do about it? Nothing but move on.
“Perhaps those answers will come to you from your Dreams.” Which seemed to be the normal way of things. That and personality and the decisions one made, “And then you can decide if that’s how you want to use them or not.” Because being shown something didn’t mean you had to follow it. As Cisco held up the glasses to get her attention, Jemma shrugged and reached out to touch them.
“No, nothing.”
---
“I thought about that after the fact, yeah. They had to fight to get into this world, they don’t belong here.” Those Scourge or whatever they were called, the zombie things. Cisco frowned a bit as he watched her deal with the samples she needed and pulled his hoodie back on to wait. “That is young. It’s hard making friends as an adult, I’d imagine younger in an adult world would be harder. “ He’d still gone at a normal age, just out of high school. He was determined to change his status in the world. He didn’t want to take time off between college and high school. He was happy he did, but he didn’t make friends either. For him it was mainly a factor of time, he was there to study and get the most out of it. He had goals and needs and people did not fit into the equation.
“I hope so..” It was tiring to not know, and painful. Physically and emotionally painful and he was over it. “Having a clue would be helpful though all the same.” He responded as she reached out to touch the glasses. “To me they feel alive. When the colors change it’s almost like something shifts. Like...a paradigm shift.”
---
“Twenty-twenty hindsight and all that.” It made sense why it might not come to mind initially. Usually it took time to sit back and look at something with more perspective.
“I guess,” it was something Jemms was all too familiar with. How her experiences going to university early meant a lot of her life experiences were different. University usually was where people made friends and connections. Away from home, people in the same age group, similar interests depending on classes… but it was what it was.
Besides, Jemma was more interested in Cisco's glasses and finding a way to help. So as he explained what he got from the glasses, she nodded some.
“Fascinating. It does seem that they have something to do with your abilities.”
---
“Whatever the reasoning is, I really don’t want it to happen a second time. Once was enough.” Hence his want to do this now, he didn’t want to wait for the dreams. He didn’t want to wake up again not knowing what happened or where he went.
“I haven’t tried them yet. I should just try them right?” Most scientists would run tests, his first instinct was to test the crap out of it-but he was also tired. Tired of being anxious and in pain more often than not these days. His system was taking a beating from it too. The interdimensional beasts had left some damage to his nervous system, but his body was attempting to repair it so fortunately it wasn’t permanent at least. It just mostly meant he was getting frequent headaches-but they both knew that already.
He didn’t want anything weird to happen, he was still afraid. His grip on them tightened a little. He was still afraid, but willing at least. If she agreed to him trying, he would try-but he still looked at her for the reassurance.
---
It was a valid concern, and one Jemma had if the theory was correct. After all, even if there wasn’t an actual portal each time for whatever strange thing came through, the fact remained that when things came from the Dreams, they weren’t technically from this universe which could prove detrimental to Cisco if they didn’t figure this out.
“Yes, you should.”
There were of course safety procedure type tests that should be run on them but there was also the fact that sometimes you didn’t know until you just tried. Without much to go on from his dreams, they wouldn’t know where to start with the glasses. So at that moment, it would be best to just try them and go from there.
Jemma did notice the gripping of the glasses though.
“It’ll be okay, Cisco. We’ll figure it out together, alright?”
---
Cisco was afraid of the physical pain it might cause when he tried those glasses on. The last vision had been brutal. He’d ended up someplace he didn’t know in a pain he’d never felt before.
“I trust you.” With his trust issues, it was a hard thing to come by but Jemma hadn’t done anything except be a supportive friend and colleague. He knew he could rely on her, so he brought them up to his face and braced himself as he slipped them over his eyes. He held his breath for a second, but to his dismay and partial relief nothing at all happened. “...Nothing’s happening.” Of course, he wasn’t touching anything or doing anything to create a reaction-but still. He gave a frustrated sigh and pulled them away from his face, only to sip them back on again.
“Still nothing. What the hell?” Were they still off frequency or was he doing something wrong?
---
A fear of physical pain made perfect sense. But as it seemed Cisco was ready, Jemma just stood back and waited to see what was going on. And….nothing. Which okay not entirely shocking though the frustration always wasn’t shocking.
As Cisco tried again, Jemma looked around for something she could use that might trigger a vision - preferably not something nearly as traumatizing as the senses inhibitor had been. Well. She had her bone shiv from when she had been on Maveth which...okay, still not great but less likely to be as traumatizing? Maybe? Or Jemma was just queen of compartmentalizing and pushed things aside too easily. But it wasn’t like she wanted to use the clasp or broach that Ruby had left behind since...it was her choice to let someone potentially see something. And she didn’t have her SHIELD badge so… bone shiv it was.
“Here hold this while wearing those and see.” And pulling it out from her pocket, Jemma handed it to Cisco.
---
Physical pain was the thing he was trying to stop. Somewhere internally he knew he’d have to face it if he wanted to get things into his control again, if things continued as they were it’d become a vicious cycle. And living in fear of what may happen was exactly as exhausting as pain actually happening. He hid it well until recently, his powers had begun to wear on him.
He looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t understand it. It reacts but now nothing?” He’d been so worried and nothing had even happened. When she handed it to him he had been about to say something else when suddenly it was like being paralyzed by sludge itself. Like the world around him had lost its color and slowed to a crawl. He said nothing, he just looked a little more physically pale as he tried to focus on what exactly was happening. The glasses radiated a soft glow, this time steady and not pulsating.
---
Physical pain was a normal thing to be afraid of, but it was also something that they needed to deal with because not dealing with it would just make it all the worse as time went on. So this really was the best course of action even if it was scary. And as someone who had gone through always being afraid, she was all too familiar with what could happen if you let that fear control you.
As Cisco went silent, Jemma instead took notes on what was happening, as well as checking readings from other equipment to see what the glasses were doing.
“It’s definitely tied into some sort of frequency.”
Could that be it? What was needed to focus? Because it was clear that something was happening.
---
His nervous system was still being scattered, but less so with the glasses. His brain didn’t seem to be going into shock this time as it had last from seizuring. When he was in the vision itself he was finding it hard to actually speak of what was happening, and then everything changed again. He gripped at the bone as something ominous began to feel like it was looming over him. A figure in a space suit.
“Where am I? What’s happening?” He reached out to attempt to touch that figure, but it was like being unable to reach him or her. His hands then moved to his face, as if to stop it from coming any closer. “Stay back” And the bone fragment dropped from his hands. Fear receptors pulsating off the charts the entire time. Every time it happened the readings were similar, stress or fear.
---
Even though there were still abnormalities, the readings from Cisco did prove that the glasses helped. The trick now would be to figure out the exact frequency that was needed so that his abilities wouldn’t cause that sort of reaction. But it seemed earlier hypotheses had been correct and that Cisco had needed something to focus and channel himself with whenever he had these visions.
It wasn’t too difficult to figure out what Cisco seemed to be seeing based on his reactions and she noted the reactions as well as knelt down to pick up the bone shard shiv and straightened up.
“How are you feeling?”
---
He removed the glasses from his face a moment later and lo look down at them in confusion and shock. It was much more powerful than he realized, and way less painful. No bloody nose, so he’d take it as a drastic improvement.
“My head still hurts, but it’s a major difference. I think I can still function at least.” Without the glasses he might have been knocked back on his ass for a few hours, this one a few advil and he’d likely be good to go again soon.. “Yay less crippling pain?” He gave her a little grin as he cautiously glanced down at the bone fragment.
“I’m afraid to pick it up without them though. What exactly was that? I saw a guy in a space suit..and a dust storm. Were those your memories?”
---
Functioning was definitely a good thing. So she took down the assessment. It was definitely based on frequency, so now they just had to figure out if the frequency from his glasses was tied to those of his dream world and just needed to be adjusted to the frequency here or if there was a specific frequency.
As Cisco asked her about what he had seen, Jemma nodded. Again, it was just easier to use her own frame of reference.
“Blue tinged? That would be the planet Maveth.” Ancient Hebrew for ‘death’, for added fun. “If you’ve seen the Monolith in the hole… it acts as a portal. The astronaut was a dead man possessed by the inhuman, Hive.”
There was some bitterness in her voice. Then again, possessing Will and taking his memories and then throwing them back in her face while wearing Ward’s body would do that. Shaking the memories from her mind though, she looked back to Cisco.
“As it is, I think we have a good starting place. It seems that the glasses are tied to a frequency which allows you to see things without so much pain. I think the reason there still is pain is that it’s not on the correct frequency. If it’s because the frequency here is different from your world in your dreams or something else, that is something we can work with.” And that was the important thing.
---
As she explained the vision, Cisco looked at her with some confusion. He wasn’t sure how to react to seeing people's memories. Jemma was good at compartmentalizing, but he noticed that bitterness. He just wasn’t sure if she’d want to talk about it just then, so when she actually did explain, he raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry.” It sounded like a bad memory, why was it that all he got to see were the bad ones? They were the ones that were the most emotional sure, but it was a little depressing. Especially when he couldn’t exactly do anything with that memory. It had happened already, he couldn’t stop or help it be better. It just was that, a memory. Dreams as they were called, but Cisco was thinking differently about them lately.
When she spoke again he looked up from the glasses and gave a little nod. “My head hurts, but not like before. Now it’s more of a steady stabbing feeling if that makes sense?” Whereas before it was more sharp pain and debilitating pain. He could go back to work at this point. Headaches were an inconvenience, nervous system shutdowns were something else entirely “Thank you, for helping me with this I mean. “ Alone he wouldn’t have known what to do. “See you later then?” He wasn’t scared off at least, afraid but not paralyzed with fear. It was a big step for him. Before he might have refused to come back at all.
---
Jemma simply shrugged as Cisco apologized for what he had seen. She was good at compartmentalizing, but there were times it was more complicated to do so. She didn’t let it affect her work though. It was just a sore spot for her. As for why it was always the seemingly bad memories Cisco picked up on? Well, that was harder to say.
“It does.” It was improvement and that came from the glasses. And with the fact the glasses seemed tied to a frequency, they just had to find the correct frequency for here and Jemma was certain they could get rid of the actual pain.
“Of course. I’ll see you later.” Smiling to him, Jemma then started to put things away before going back to what she’d been working on before. Such was the life after all.
---