padme_n (padme_n) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-01-28 09:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | anakin skywalker, padme amidala |
Who: Padmé and Anakin
When: Right after this
Where: Anakin's place
What: Debriefing the situation
Status: Complete
Ratings: None
It was a blur. There was no other word for the evening. Even when she tried to focus (and then all she could remember were those hands and arms and bone and gore and and and), her thoughts were racing. What had started out as a lovely evening had quickly escalated to a living nightmare.
She heard Anakin guide her into an apartment, a sort of soothing noise in the background, but she didn't process any of that. She kept reliving that night's events until suddenly she was in a bed, alone and didn't realize what was going on. "Anakin?!," she called out, slightly panicked. "Where are you?"
Anakin was back in the room and moved to sit by Padmé’s side.
“Hey, I’m right here.”
From there, he didn’t know what to say. The night had been unfair to her. Was the OC fair to anyone once they were stuck?
“What do you need?” he settled on asking.
Padmé didn't know what she needed, and really, even if she knew, she wasn't sure she could verbalize it. Both Ahsoka and Anakin had been amazing, and she had to give them credit for ensuring she escaped unscathed.
Well. Physically unscathed.
"Is it over?," she asked, tears welling up again. "What were those things?" She took a deep gulp. "Are we safe?"
He scooted closer and put his arm around Padmé, pulling her to him. His used his left arm, the one that was flesh and bone and didn’t feel cold and hard and inhuman.
“We are safe here,” he said first. He wanted to drive that home as much as possible. But he didn’t tell her not to cry or stop spilling whatever emotion she needed to feel right now.
“I didn’t really catch the name of what they are called… so, just… monsters,” he finished lamely.
But it wasn’t over and that was bad news he had to unfortunately deliver. “We just have to stay here for a while, until someone figures out how to stop them. Someone will, last time we blew them up with rocket fuel.”
"Last time?" She tried to look up but found she was tightly pressed to his side. Normally, she wouldn't have allowed it, or maybe had kept him slightly at arm's length, and yet after tonight? How could she not accept the comfort?
"I just don't understand any of this...." She sniffed and cleared her throat. "I've lived here my whole life. I don't remember anything like this. Jet fuel?" Padmé shook her head. "This isn't the OC I know..."
“Ya.” Anakin was expecting her to catch that.
“You wouldn’t have before. There is a lot to explain...”
Anakin wouldn’t deny that having Padmé lean into him was nice, but there was too much standing between them right now. So he refused to think about it as more than what it really was: a friend offering another friend comfort after a harrowing experience.
“No one has any exact answers, but I explain it like - this area, covering all of Orange County, is like two universes occupying the same space. One is Normal Earth, and the other is kind of like an intersection of multiple universes. Most of Earth has no idea about this phenomenon. You have to sort of cross over to the Muliti-verse OC to notice. But no one knows how or why we cross over.”
He held up his robotic hand and slowly flexed his fingers. “Sometimes things leak in from other universes. There isn’t anything like this on Earth. Earth prosthetics aren’t anywhere near as advanced. And the metal is an unknown alloy.”
He dropped his hand. “Sometimes the things that leak over are benign, like my arm.” That wasn’t the whole truth, he’d hated the thing the morning he woke up with it, angry that his body had been modified without his consent. But for purposes of this brief explanation it could serve as an example of a good thing. And it was without a doubt much less terrifying than the monsters outside.
“Sometimes we get monster invasions. The last one started on my birthday, I was going to go to Disneyland that day, but ended up fighting monsters instead. I think that ranks as the worst birthdays I’ve ever had.” He said that with a bit of lightness and humor in his tone, hoping it would help. It helped him to laugh about it.
This was too much to handle. While Anakin talked, Padmé squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her breathing.
In. Out. In. Out. The familiar rhythm helped center her as she listened to him explain. Even after everything she'd witnessed, a part of her was still hoping for an answer, anything that could make sense of it all. Multiverse. She wasn't really a sci-fi lover, but she'd heard of that one. Parallel universes, infinite copies of one's self, so many different iterations.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at his arm. She'd vaguely noticed it earlier in the evening, so when he brought up its strangeness, she stared at it intently. Glistening metal integrated almost seamlessly with him. It was odd how it had both an otherworldly feel along with a natural one.
It was also odd how it was tickling a memory she didn't even know she had.
"What about my family?" she asked suddenly. "Are they in this too? Does this attack affect the real world as well as the multi world?
“They’re probably not. I didn’t know you were when we danced at the ball. There aren’t a lot of us. We all stay connected by this one social media site.”
Anakin could understand how overwhelmed and scared Padmé must be feeling. When Ahsoka first told him what he was now telling Padmé, he didn’t exactly receive the information well.
“But these massive events don’t seem to affect Normal Earth. Just the Multi-verse OC.”
‘Normal Earth’ was an awkward label, but having grown up on it, it seemed right to call it normal.
“When the monsters are gone, you’ll be able to see them again. We’re just kind of stuck over here until this plays out.”
Padmé didn't answer right away. She took in Anakin's words, and mulled them over, still focusing on her breathing. The adrenaline was subsiding and she found herself oddly tired. A normal physiological reaction, she told herself, trying to remember high school biology classes.
"Ok," was all she could think to say. Her parents weren't in this reality but they still existed. She could live with that.
After a few moments, she thought of something else. "You are really calm about all this."
“Well,” Anakin said. “I’ve had combat training. And… I’ve been through this before. And… I’ve had a lot of therapy.” All true, but he didn’t add that this was all better than the dreams.
“Try something with me,” he said. “It’s a grounding exercise.
“You start with saying five true things about yourself, to yourself. After each truth you pause and take a breath.
“Things that are simple but irrefutable. Like- My name is Anakin Skywalker. I live in Irvine California. I’m six foot two. I’m an aeronautical engineer. I have a healthy obsession with googly eyes.
“Okay, you try.”
Five true things? Padmé wanted to comment on each of Anakin's points, but she was someone who took direction well and followed the rules. Still, she could also see this for what it was: not only a way to center themselves, but also a way to centre themselves.
"Um." What to say... she slowly started to list things off. "My name is Padmé Amidala Naberrie. I love manners and etiquette. I have a younger sister who I really don't see eye-to-eye with. I don't like coffee. I crochet in my spare time."
It had taken her longer than she thought to find fice truths that she wanted to share so by the time her list was done, she actually felt a bit better.
Anakin was just as curious about Padme's five things. But he restrained himself from interrupting. He knew how helpful this small mental exercise could be.
But when she was done, he asked, "What about coffee don't you like?" It seemed to be a very good topic to travel, he couldn't see how talking about coffee could connect to what they'd just gone through.
"I've never really grown a taste for it," she said, shrugging a little. "My dad is the only one who drinks coffee, and when I was a kid, I used to love making it for him. It smels amazing, but the taste?" Padmé wrinkled her nose. "No amount of sugar can take away that bitterness....and now, honestly? I don't even like the smell anymore. Too overpowering. I also don't like being reliant on anything to get through my day...it's weird seeing people go on like 'oh don't talk to me until I've had coffee'. Like really?"
She had very strong opinions on coffee, apparently.
"I'm more of a tea drinker."
Anakin laughed a little. He hoped this was helping. It was helping him, but his fear manifested differently. He cared very little about the safety of his own body, but worried most about the people he cared about.
“I don’t drink anything with caffeine it,” he said “I have… ADHD, I don’t need to mix my meds with other stimulants.”
That was surprising, but maybe explained the fidget spinner. "I don't know much about ADHD," she admitted with a little embarrassment. "I would have never guessed though. You were great tonight, lots of ideas. If half of my clients were like you, I wouldn't have to keep a Costco sized bottle of tylenol in my office."
Anakin snorted.
“I’ve had a lot of therapy, so I know good coping mechanisms,” Anakin said. “And I’m very good at focusing on something intensely for about twenty to thirty minutes at a time. If I take breaks, I can get a lot done. Maybe you need to take a more draconian approach to your clients – tell them they get 20 minutes of your attention and they only have 5 seconds to decide each detail.
“Or, give them fidget toys when you meet with them. You can print your company’s name and information on fidget spinners, hand them out.”
"That kind of draconian approach, as you put it, would have me closing my business in no time. Brides are finicky creatures. The record so far is 3 months to make a decision on the fold of the napkins on the tables. 3 months. She went with a classic triangle."
Padmé was feeling a lot better. Enough that she was starting to realize how familair she was being with Anakin. He had already invited her into his home, and here she was, invading his personal space. Reluctantly, she pulled herself away and smoothed the blanket with her hands. "Thanks. I know you were trying to distract me and it worked. I really appreciate this."
“You can fold a napkin… in… different shapes?” Anakin was honestly confused. Was this really a thing?
He dropped his arm when Padmé pulled away.
“You’re welcome,” Anakin said.
He’d been more than happy to help. Maybe it was selfish to do something good for the people who dream of, who will dream of, his universe and what he does if part of his motivation was to do something to show he was capable of good?
“I have more mental tricks, if you want them. Just ask.”
Padmé laughed and settled herself better into bed at the expression on Anakin's face. She'd save the fact that she herself knew several different ways to fold a napkin (and how to make animals out of towels) for later.
Her eyes were starting to feel heavy, her body having finally returned to normal. "I'm glad you were there tonight," she said softly. "Almost like it was all supposed to happen this way."
Anakin stood up to give Padmé full use of the bed.
For the briefest second, Anakin’s expression was a sad even though he smiled. But he looked over his shoulder to compose himself. And trying to make the move seem natural, as if he’d been gesturing to where Ahsoka was in his apartment, he said, “Ahsoka and I will take turns watching through the night.” He looked at Padmé again, “We’ll keep you safe.”