Freya Mikaelson is Tired™ (frelsi) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-01-24 20:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, evie frye, freya mikaelson |
Who: Evie and Freya
What: Talks and taking things to the next level
When: November 26th
Where: LAX to Evie’s
Warings: References to past suicide attempts, manipulation, fade to black
Status: Log | Complete
Thanksgiving had been good, even with Klaus getting all paranoid about how she also had prep work at Pimpernel Outreach because of course he had, but it had been worked out weeks ago and the day itself? It had been good. Good food, time with the family and even though the siblings were doing their trip to Vienna and Paris the following month, that didn’t mean they couldn’t celebrate Thanksgiving either.
But as was often the case in her life, things then took a turn for the worse. Freya had been doing some prep work to prepare for the trip the following month when she saw the news about tear gas being thrown across the border at people seeking asylum by US Border Patrol agents. The way it was reported and how that was meant to inflame bigotry. And then there was the fact that Russia had attacked Ukraine as well. Russia, where Evie currently was for work.
So while she had managed to get a brief magical Skype call in to ensure her girlfriend was okay, Freya was left to worry while also drowning in work that came from those two events. Which of course meant that she had another dream. The plan was simple in that they needed a large enough sacrifice in order to return Elijah’s soul to his body, which meant the Hollow. After all, if the Hollow killed Elijah, it was only right to kill the Hollow to bring him back. But that was easier said than done, especially given the fact the cracks in her pendant showed that they were running out of time.
But of course the Hollow had a totem in place that needed to be destroyed so they could kill the Hollow, and they needed Hope’s blood to complete the circle. But once all the pieces were in play, Freya and Hayley were in charge of killing the Hollow.
I’ve never thought twice about fighting or dying for my family before. But now, with Keelin…
It was terrifying but there was a mission to complete and so it was into the house and instantly separated. No, Keelin couldn’t be there she wasn’t dead, it just wasn’t possible. It was the Hollow.
But I’m always here. This is the image of me that keeps you up at night. This is what happens when anybody loves a Mikaelson and I’m next.
Too much to unpack and not enough time. Break into the room Hayley was in, give her the dagger, pray the totem was broken, flick a scalpel at the Hollow. Kill the Hollow and stop Hayley from overkill when the Hollow was already dead. Get home and bring Elijah back to life.
Waking up, Freya winced as she pressed her fingers to above her eye which was bleeding. Another dream injury but nothing major. Just a lot to go over emotionally. Things she had thought she was fine with but maybe she wasn’t. Because even when it was Hayley in the Dreams and she was clearly in love with Keelin in them, when she woke up, Freya saw Evie. Evie injured.
And that pesky voice of what happens to those who fall in love with Mikaelsons. That they die. She’d already panicked when she’d seen Evie had been shot and she’d been fine then. But now? That fear was worse, always in the back of her mind mixed with the scars left by Dahlia and maybe she had been withholding herself in a way to protect herself but she couldn’t… not if she was going to break the cure. Not if they were going to be different and so help her, they were going to be different.
A quick look to her phone and it was clear Evie would already be in the air so Freya couldn’t check up on her girlfriend yet so instead she got up, cleaned the cut and bandaged it and got ready for the day. Or more aptly checking the LAX arrivals page because she had decided she was going to meet Evie at the airport even though they hadn’t planned on that. Freya was still trying to figure out what to say to Evie when she saw her as she left for the airport and picked up tea for the both of them before going to baggage claim. She just knew that she couldn’t hold everything in anymore. Evie had told her about her own issues and why she had thrown herself from a window, Freya figured it was time to bring Evie into her own issues and why she’d been holding back even though it had been a subconscious decision.
Given the fact she wasn’t American, Evie had decided to plan her clandestine mission to Russia over the American holiday. It had been one that she’d been planning since the summer when the nerve agent attacks had taken place in England. Evie had been hellbent to hit Russia back for that. But it had taken time to plan it, to get the right contacts, find a target that would make an impact if it got taken out.
In fact, Evie had been so focused on her mission that she hadn’t even heard about Russia attacking Ukraine until Freya’s magical Skype call. But she’d assured her girlfriend that she was fine and hadn’t been caught up in it. Though when she’d finally laid siege to the FSB facility, it hadn’t completely gone according to plan.
Attacking the FSB was an entirely different animal than attacking terrorist cells. For one, FSB security was infinitely better. They were also far better trained. However, Evie still held the upperhand in having Assassin skills, such as being able to disappear entirely if she didn’t move. That had possibly saved her life, or at the very least saved her from getting seriously injured, once she started taking the FSB agents out.
Luckily, she hadn’t tripped any security other than a few guards that spotted her but didn’t have enough time to shoot her before they got a knife to their throat. She’d also ensured to get any intelligence she could while in the facility. After all, she knew better than to come out empty handed. Natasha would undoubtedly appreciate the intelligence. And Evie of course left no trace, or at least none that would lead back to her or England or really anyone else. Knowing Russia, they’d probably try to blame Ukraine or something. But the important thing was Evie didn’t leave any evidence that she’d been there.
The flight back to California had been long. She’d had a couple layovers given she never took direct flights when doing her clandestine missions. So by the time she’d landed in LAX, she was tired from the travel despite the fact she’d manage to sleep well on the flight. But travel was exhausting. Evie was also a bit stiff after being jammed in an airplane seat. She could afford business class, but she’d flown coach. It was less conspicuous and she definitely didn’t want her superiors to catch onto what she was doing.
Evie had traveled light, but she’d still checked a bag. One that had secret compartments for her weapons that were also sealed off from detection on X-ray and other airport security measures. She shifted the strap of her backpack on her shoulder as she arrived at baggage claim, however she spotted someone she hadn’t expected. Evie had planned on getting back home by taxi or Uber or something of the sort. But Freya was there. Instead of going over and waiting for her checked bag, she walked over to her girlfriend, a smile on her face.
“Well, this is a surprise,” she commented. Though she quickly noted the bandage above Freya’s eye and she grew concerned. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
Smiling as she saw Evie alive and well (which of course she’d be, but after the latest dream, Freya just needed to see her for herself and as soon as possible), the witch held out the tea she had gotten her girlfriend, knowing the exact order for post flight that she knew Evie preferred.
As for the question? She absently touched the bandage with her now free hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just...needed to see you.”
That was the simplest way to put it at any rate while they were standing in an airport with people milling about.
Taking the tea with a note of thanks, she took a sip of it. Yes, that was definitely what she needed after the long flight. Evie looked at Freya, wondering if she had injuries other than what seemed to be a little cut above her eye, but she didn’t see any. That was a relief, at least.
“Well, I’m very happy to see you.” Seeing Freya right after getting off the plane was definitely a welcome sight. “A very nice welcome home surprise,” she commented with a smile as she leaned in to give her girlfriend a hello kiss. She also felt that there was more to Freya’s statement of needing to see her than was being initially let on. After all, why else would Freya have driven out to LAX to surprise her? Unless Evie was just reading too much into it and Freya was just wanting to plain surprise her, which was a possibility.
Considering everything that had been going on with the things at the U.S. border with Mexico, and Russia attacking Ukraine while Evie had been in the area, she supposed Freya could have just decided to surprise her. But she still had a feeling there was something more to it than just that.
Beyond some bruising along her back and side from being flung into a wall and knocked out, the only real injury was that above her eye. And while Freya wouldn’t have minded being able to surprise her girlfriend at the airport (and probably would have), the latest news actually meant she probably should have stayed at work until the end of the day and meet up with Evie later or even the following day once she had gotten some rest. But that just wasn’t something she could do at the moment.
“Yeah? Well, maybe I’ll make a habit of it then.”
And while her voice was light, she did mean it. If she could make the timing work, this wouldn’t be the only time she picked Evie up from the airport or surprised her. There was just more to this particular visit than simply wanting to surprise her girlfriend.
“But let’s get your bag so we can get you home. I’m sure Eden misses you as well.”
The bruising was a little worrisome, and given Freya hadn’t mentioned Orange County going crazy, Evie was going to assume the bruising and the cut above Freya’s eye were dream-related. But it was good to see that Freya otherwise didn’t seem badly injured.
“If you do, I’ll look forward to it.”
And maybe it’d give her a reason to take more trips. But right now, that was the furthest thing from her mind.
“I’m sure she does, but it’s nice to know she’s not the only one missing me.” She gave Freya a smile. It was nice to have someone to come home to, not just a dog. It was another reason to keep fighting, knowing she had someone who cared about and worried about her just as she worried and cared about Freya.
Evie went over to the carousel and looked at the luggage going by. It wasn’t that long before she spotted her bag and pulled it off. “Alright, I’m ready to go home. Though I’m curious, are you needing to go back to work?” She wanted to know if Freya was going to be able to spend the day with her. And possibly getting at what the reason behind this surprise was as well.
Smiling some, Freya nodded. She would certainly keep that in the back of her mind. She liked to surprise her girlfriend as it was, so really it wasn’t that far out of the realm of possibility. It just happened to be circumstances that gave her that extra push.
“Well, we might be in contest on who missed you most.” She was teasing which was a good thing. With all the chaos and concern in her mind it was good to still be able to do that. But the worry and concern would always be there no matter the fact she knew Evie could handle herself and the fact she had the protection amulet.
Once Evie had her things, Freya was prepared to head to the car though she supposed the question made sense given her work.
“No, I took the rest of the day off.” Which really said a lot. But she didn’t want to get into it. Not here.
Evie laughed a bit. Oh, she knew that both Freya and Eden missed her when she was gone, just as she missed both of them. If she didn’t go on such dangerous missions, she’d consider taking Eden. And, well, Evie had actually thought Freya could help her on her missions at times, she was just concerned about exhausting Freya with magic use. That and Evie hadn’t worked with someone who had magic before. At least not outside of the invasions of Orange County where it was basically a free-for-all in defending their home.
It was perhaps a thought for the future if Freya wanted to join her. But for now, she wasn’t going to think about any future missions, not when she’d just returned from one. She wanted to relax.
She followed Freya to the car, eyeing her a bit as she said she took the rest of the day off. Evie knew that meant that something was going on that was bothering Freya. Considering what all was happening at the southern border of the U.S., the fact Freya would take the day off said all she needed to know. But she also knew better than to poke about it until they were in private.
“Then I’m more than happy we get to spend the rest of the day together.” It was her way of saying that whatever Freya needed or wanted to talk about, she’d certainly listen once they were home and settled.
Freya wouldn’t mind helping Evie with her missions. While they each worked towards similar goals in their own ways and with their own strengths, now that she had magic? Well, Freya would be more than happy to use her powers for good. In the Dreams, she basically only used them to protect her family as it seemed all the drama seemed to circulate around the enemies they had made, but here there were other enemies to have, and not so many centuries old grudges and threats. As for Orange County, that was Orange County and there really was no other explanation for it.
Thankful that her girlfriend wasn’t pushing too much, Freya just led her to the car and drove them back to Evie’s. One, she undoubtedly wanted to drop her things off and see Eden. Then there was the fact that while Klaus was probably at the gallery, Freya needed to be able to say what she was going to without interruption and even with the sound proofing spell around her room, boundaries weren’t always a thing Klaus acknowledged. So to Evie’s it was.
Once there, she waited for her girlfriend to put her things away and instead paced in the living room, partially still trying to get her thoughts into order because there was just so much to unpack in what she needed to tell her girlfriend. Things from the Dreams. Things from her life here. Dahlia. At least she had at least already given her some insight about the Hollow. Mostly just it was the latest threat and had killed Elijah and she’d been trying to find a way to save her brother.
Perhaps in the future, Evie would ask, and they could plan accordingly. After all, while Evie was more than used to taking on large numbers of enemies by herself, it would be nice to have Freya there able to do crowd control for her. Especially if Evie had one specific target she needed to get to and not have to worry about watching her back so closely. But logistics of combining magic and Evie’s melee skills would need coordinating so Freya didn’t accidentally hit Evie with a spell or things of that nature.
It wasn’t even until that thought occurred to her that Evie realized how much she actually missed planning missions with someone. In her dreams, she always planned missions with either Jacob or Henry. Mostly Henry since Jacob never liked plans and he rarely ever stuck to the plan anyway. It would be nice to plan something like that with Freya.
Once home, Evie took her luggage to her room. She unpacked the weapons, putting them back in their various hidden places in her room. She tossed the clothes into her dirty laundry hamper, then left everything else for later and went to rejoin Freya. As she saw her pacing, that only hit home even more that something was bothering her.
“What’s bothering you?” She asked, gently prodding the subject now that they were in private.
Funny how such a simple question could cause so much havoc in someone’s mind. Even though Freya had known she was going to tell Evie about the Dream, what it brought up for her and all the complicated mess that was Freya Mikaelson, it was still something else entirely to hear the question and know she couldn’t back out now. Or she could, brush it off, change the subject, but the witch wasn’t going to do that.
“We defeated the Hollow, in the Dreams that is.” Or she at least hoped so. They thought they did in the Dreams but Freya would be lying if she was one hundred percent positive they had. She knew how these things went and it almost seemed too easy (which was a laugh really and truly) when looking back at it. Like there was more to it than just using a blade with Lebonair blood to bring Elijah back. “She...got into my head before we did though. Which in turn made me think about things here.”
Sighing, Freya sat down because she knew that if she kept standing, she’d continue to pace.
“Things I haven’t said, reasons I’ve been withholding part of myself...fears I guess.”
Evie might have literally dove out of a window to avoid her feelings but Freya wasn’t much better. Keeping a part of herself at bay in some desperate attempt to keep from hurting when things eventually go bad because that was what happened to those who ended up with a Mikaelson.
It was good that Freya wasn’t going to deflect because Evie could tell something was bothering her. And she wasn’t going to let Freya stew over it longer than was necessary. So once Freya sat down, Evie went to sit beside her, listening as she started to speak.
Part of her wondered if she and Freya had some unknown psychic link because the mention of Freya withholding part of herself was similar to fears Evie had been fretting over herself for a while. It seemed that they both were similar in that way, of keeping their fears close to their chests. Of course, part of Evie keeping such things for herself was she was far too English for her own good and she held that stiff upper lip longer than most anyone could.
“Whatever you need to say, I’m listening. Take your time because I’m not going anywhere.” After all, Freya had listened to her when she’d explained about her own issues, and why she’d jumped out the window after that mistletoe kiss. Evie wanted to be there for her girlfriend in the same way, to listen to what she needed to say and help however she could.
Take her time. Well, that was one way of doing it. The question was how to phrase it, where to start. Because most of it was Dahlia, but it was also the Dream. Seeing Keelin and Hayley injured and when waking up she remembered it as Evie, not those from her Dreams. It was so strange to feel as though she’d lived a thousand years. To know her siblings didn’t have the enemies they had in the Dreams because they’d only lived a few decades and yet….
“Right. Well….I guess I’ll start with Dahlia…” Since Dahlia basically was the foundation of which Freya’s life and issues really had been formed up. Dahlia who she knew she’d have to talk to Elijah and Finn about once they got to that point in the Dreams. She really hated thinking or talking about Dahlia but it always found a way to come up.
“When I was...five I guess? It was right after Klaus was born, anyway...I got really sick and because there was a newborn in the house, I was sent to stay with my aunt. After that, I was always doing errands for her and she would always make these comments, chip away at the idea that I had anyone, make it seem she was the only one I could rely on. But it was hard to notice at the time. Then I went to school in England for university and instead of letting me live in accommodations, my parents insisted I stay with Dahlia. I didn’t care initially because I was getting away and it was supposed to be this next big step. Except the only times I was really allowed to leave where we were staying was for class or when she needed me to do errands. Hell, she wanted me and Percy to be a thing.”
Because of course Dahlia had tried to push her and Percy together. Same age, he was rich, successful with his family’s business….but that was never going to be a thing. Shaking her head, Freya ran her fingers through her hair.
“Well...I met someone, Christina. And despite all of Dahlia’s expectations, we started dating. In secret, obviously. But we weren’t careful enough and Dahlia caught us. Got Christina kicked out of university and I was on a shorter leash…. How I was a disgrace to the family, they wouldn’t want me if they knew the truth. By the end of the year, I tried to kill myself. And she had another secret to hold over me. Once I got out of treatment, I started looking into graduate programs and once I graduated, I always was on the move, never in one place for more than two years to keep away….Then I came here and started Dreaming and all of those issues just got worse.”
Because of course they did. But if she was going to get through this, she had to get through all of it or she would probably stop talking because it was exhausting to be back in that place.
“Esther found herself barren so went to her sister who was a witch and begged for a potion or spell or..whatever… in order to have children. The price? The first born child. Five years pass and Dahlia comes and takes me, telling me that they never wanted me. She linked us to augment her power, kept me alive only to be able to siphon my own power. Kept me isolated. Sleep a hundred years to gather power and be awake for one…. But she also wanted me to have a child because it wasn’t just me, but every first born in the family bloodline for each generation. And then I ended up falling in love with a man, Mathias, and became pregnant. I was determined to escape and we were planning to but she found out. Killed Mathias. So desperate, I found her strongest poison and tried to kill myself. But the spell that linked us ensured I couldn’t die but I lost my son…. And vowed never to love again.”
Because it was better for her that way. Closing her eyes, Freya took a steadying breath and wiped at her eyes before opening them again to continue.
“A couple days before the whole mistletoe thing, she showed up here...but she’s been dead..three times now between here and the Dreams,” since of course Klaus killed Dahlia upon learning the truth. Then the zombies and fighting her here. And of course the end of the Dreams, “And I thought I was finally free of her, of that voice in the back of my head… her voice. But then this fight with the Hollow. Seeing Keelin dead, hearing what she had to say….how that’s the vision that kept me up at night, knowing that anyone who gets involved with me or my siblings meets a terrible fate… and then seeing the state Hayley was in. So I wake up but instead of seeing them, I’m seeing you dead or near dead and I just...I’m terrified of losing you.”
While she’d been staring down at her lap, fiddling with her hands, Freya looked up at that point to look at her girlfriend. She knew it was… a lot. And honestly if Evie didn’t want to put up with her issues, Freya couldn’t really blame her. But she deserved to know the truth, especially now that Freya herself realized what the issue was, what she’d been doing on a subconscious level for all these months.
As Freya talked, Evie simply listened. She felt her heart break upon the simple thought of Freya trying to kill herself, though with the explanation given, Evie could understand how someone could be pushed to that. Evie also felt more than a little anger and a strong desire to kill Dahlia, if she wasn’t dead already. Someone who could do such things to another person was abhorrent to begin with, even worse when that person was a child when it started.
It wasn’t easy to hear, especially as Freya said she’d lost her son due to the poison, but she knew it was necessary. Evie wanted to understand her girlfriend better, to support her as best as she could. And while she may have had a brief thought about this being a break up, that was dismissed with the last thing Freya said.
Of course, Evie couldn’t guarantee that she wouldn’t die. She was an Assassin, living a long life was an extreme luxury that most Assassins didn’t have. They tended to be lucky if they lived long enough to even have children to ensure there would be a future for their Brotherhood. But Evie wasn’t quite going to point that out. Freya well knew that, if not from what Evie had told her of her dreams, but from her solo missions in this world.
Before saying anything, she looked Freya in the eye and reached out to take her hands in hers. “I’m so sorry that you had to suffer through any of that. If Dahlia wasn’t dead three times over, I’d kill her myself. But you are alive, and you’re strong and I’m so glad you’re here. And as long as I have any say in the matter, you aren’t going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere.”
It was strange how that loss of her son seemed to carry some sort of weight here. Because Freya had never really considered starting a family of her own. Yet in some ways, even that was something she had barely gotten over. Something that had been buried and pushed aside because of everything else going on. How it was in mentioning the death that Freya recognized on some level that it was something she’d need to figure out how to deal with. The fear and knowing she couldn’t go through that.
Because her immediate concern and fear was that all of this would be too much for Evie. Then again, she was also proud of herself for getting through this conversation without the use of alcohol, though she really could have used it. But Evie deserved the truth, to know all the damage that she had gotten involved with.
As Evie took her hands, the witch let out a shuddering breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding until that very moment. Because she knew all too well that something could happen and Evie would die. She had made her the amulet for a reason but nothing was certain. Instead she just bowed her head to keep from crying as she nodded some, a few tears managing to escape before she looked up again once she felt she had her emotions under some sense of control. She knew how it could have felt like a break up, at least initially. But that was the last thing on her mind.
“I never realized how much I was holding back until I had to face it in the Dreams….” Funny how the Dreams could make you see things you might not otherwise see, “But I’m glad to hear that, and obviously so long as I have a say in the matter, I’m not going anywhere either. I’m tired of holding myself back, I just...I want you. If you’ll have me… I don’t want to hold anything else back.”
Evie more than understood traumas and other such emotions crossing over from the Dreams. It had been part of the reason she’d jumped out that window to begin with. While her feelings for Henry hadn’t crossed over, her father having drilled that one should never put personal feelings before the mission had crossed over. And having been her father’s ever faithful student, Evie had been willing to sacrifice her heart in order to fulfill her duty as an Assassin.
Luckily, Evie had found the happy medium in her Dreams, eventually letting herself be with Henry without compromising her Creed. And she liked to think that she’d found that happy medium here, despite the fact she’d been paranoid about whether she was moving too fast or too slow for Freya’s liking. Clearly they’d just needed to use the radical idea of communication. Or rather that Freya needed to realize things that set up the conversation.
“I want you, too. All of you,” she responded. And Evie meant that in more than one way because she wanted Freya in more than one way. Also her response served to be an affirmation that she was in this for the long haul and that she wasn’t going to shy away from the revelations that Freya had just given to her. She lifted a hand to press it against Freya’s cheek, gently brushing the tears away.
That happy medium was always important. Freya had thought she had found it herself. Had convinced herself she was okay and had moved on so that there was no real need to delve into all of that. So she’d been open just not as open as she apparently had needed to be given what the Dream had revealed to her.
Still, the words Evie spoke seemed to send a spark through her, especially combined with the look in her girlfriend’s eyes and reaching up, Freya placed her hand over the one on her cheek and leaned in and kissed Evie. And just as Evie had done when the made it official, she poured everything she had into that kiss.
And it wasn’t the first time that they’d made out so it wasn’t completely surprising that Freya ended up closing the distance and straddling her girlfriend on the couch, hands moving deftly along her body and magic humming around her. Still, there was more to it, more in the way her fingers moved and the need that went beyond previous make out sessions, beyond one night stands that came from needing to release tension.
So as air became a necessity, Freya’s hands and fingers had ended up in Evie’s hair and she pulled away enough to see her girlfriend’s eyes but still close, her voice breathless and filled with want and desire.
“I think maybe we should move somewhere with a bit more room….”
Because a couch was not going to have the space required if they continued at this pace.
The way Freya kissed her ignited a spark inside of her. Evie returned the kiss whole heartedly, giving Freya back everything that she was getting. Her hands wandered over Freya’s body, and she didn’t want to stop. She wanted to take things to the next step, which seemed to be the point of Freya opening up to her.
When Freya ended up straddling her, she pulled her closer, feeling a need for more. She wanted all of Freya, and just as her girlfriend’s hands moved with intent, so did hers. Evie almost whined when Freya broke the kiss, but she managed not to. At the comment, Evie’s hands trailed down Freya’s sides, settling on her hips.
“Bedroom,” she stated. Not a question because that was the logical conclusion. It wasn’t like there were a ton of places in Evie’s apartment that allowed for more room than the couch. She was prepared to pick Freya up and carry her to the bedroom, but she’d wait and see Freya’s reaction. Evie may not have bulky muscles, but she had muscles and was far stronger than she actually looked. After all, with all the parkour and fighting skills from her Dreams paired with her military training, yoga and other exercising in this world she was strong.
Even if this wasn’t the first time they’d gotten hot and heavy while making out, it was as if both of them knew that there was more, where they were going to be heading even if they weren’t there yet and still on the couch. Even so, Evie’s own wandering hand only fueled Freya more, moaning softly in the kiss and arching from the touches and she was more than happy to comply as Evie pulled her closer when she’d ended up on her lap. It was why she’d ended up straddling her in the first place, to be closer.
The witch felt a shiver run down her spine when Evie’s hands landed on her hips and a simple word. Bedroom. God, there was so much running through her mind, but she was mostly just reacting on instinct but there was still that part of her that needed to take charge, at least in this moment so all she did was nod and get up, pulling Evie up and kissing her again and kept kissing her, along her neck and up to her ear and back to her mouth as they made their way to the bedroom, fingers looped in her belt loops to keep them close.
On the bed and still straddling her girlfriend, Freya pulled away only to pull her top of, arching and stretching in the process before throwing it to the side and back to kissing her girlfriend. There was no going back now and she didn’t want to either.