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Chloe Price hates emojis (no_emoji) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2019-01-12 02:45:00

Who: Rachel and Chloe
What: Chloe has a girlfriend and breaks Rachel's heart. Fire happens.
When: Early January after this.
Where: Their caboose
Warnings: Language, smoking joints, brief mention of self-harm, burning caboose



“Now where oh where is my favorite person in the whole world?” Rachel wondered aloud, swinging her feet from the top of the caboose as she pretended to look around. Between getting an honest to god role, no sign of Mark who she hoped had actually died somewhere, and her dreams being decidedly positive, Rachel was in a fantastic mood.

The joint she was smoking probably helped. Just a little.

Rachel wasn’t the only one in a good mood. Chloe was in a good mood as well. She and Ilia had finally had a long-awaited talk about what they were to each other. And then there’d been the interesting thing of when Chloe discovered that Ilia could change colors. It didn’t frighten her or anything. Sure, it was a little weird but it didn’t bother her.

She was smoking a normal cigarette as she heard Rachel and looked up at her from below. “You can’t possibly mean me, so who are you looking for?” She teased.

“Oh, I’m looking at her, baby.” Rachel leaned forward, grinning at her as she gave Chloe a look that could best be described as hungry. She was starting to feel normal. Or the kind of normal that Rachel was, which wasn’t most peoples’ normals. “Come on up! I’ve got a joint for you and I was hoping you’d help me with a major decision.”

Chloe chuckled a bit, taking a final drag from her cigarette, dropped it on the ground and rubbed it out before she went and climbed up the caboose and went to sit down by Rachel. Though she was breathing a little heavily, being a heavy smoker and doing things like climbing didn’t exactly go hand-in-hand.

“Alright, what’s the decision you want my help with? Though if it’s life advice, you do know that I’m shit at giving that, right?”

Rachel flashed Chloe a grin as she rolled her a blunt. “I’ve been thinking about my role in Moulin Rouge. I might need you to practice with. But mostly… how do you think I’d look as a brunette?” She pulled her hair back. “And short. Your opinion matters more than anyone’s, Chloe.”

“You know I’m shit when it comes to acting, right? Because I am. You’ll be practicing off of a brick wall, basically.” Chloe responded. Theatre had never been her thing. Well, a lot of things had never really been her thing. So okay, she used to be a complete math and science genius, but once her dad died? She stopped giving a shit and stopped applying herself.

“Brunette? Seriously?” Chloe looked Rachel over a little. “Like how dark are you talking? And how short?” They were important questions!

“Black almost,” Rachel replied, threading her fingers down to about chin length. “Downside is the only way to go back to my normal hair color would be to let it grown out or just shave my head.”

She held out the pot and bumped her shoulder against Chloe’s, craving contact but too proud to actually ask for it.

“Black, damn. That’d be quite the change. You’d probably look goth if you did that. I mean, if you aren’t certain about doing your whole head, you could always try a streak or two first. That’d be hot.” She took the joint, pulling out her lighter and lighting it.

“Well, if you think it would be hot, Price, I might just have to do it. I just like going authentic for a role. Mostly.” She might have sold pictures of herself and done.. Things she wasn’t proud of with Mark … but she hadn’t gone that far.

“That reminds me.” She pulled over her backpack. “I found a couple prints from one of the last shoots I did before everything happened. I wanted you to have them.”

“So she was a brunette, then?” Dying one’s hair would definitely save having to wear a wig or something. Chloe took a puff from her joint, taking a moment to enjoy it. At Rachel’s mention of the prints, Chloe looked over at her. “You mean prints from a shoot you did for that website? Or something else?” Because if it was the former, that would be more than inappropriate given she was with Ilia now. And even if it was the latter, that might not be the best idea either.

“In the movie yes. The stage version has her as blonde, so I could just go with that. Maybe I should just cut my hair?” Rachel let go of her hair and fished around in the backpack, pulling out a folder and gave it to Chloe. “Something else, kind of. I was trying to do the tasteful lingerie thing. I did it with you in mind.”

“What do you feel is best? Or maybe the better question is how do you picture the character being, since you’ll be the one playing her.” Chloe stated. She looked at Rachel, then looked at the folder. “Normally I would totally like that. But, uh,” she said and rubbed the back of her neck a little awkwardly. “I have a girlfriend now. Taking those prints wouldn’t be a good idea.”

And Chloe internally braced herself for how Rachel would react. She knew it wouldn’t be good.

“Well, she’s a total fucking bitch so it suits me no matter what,” Rachel said, a smile playing across her lips. She shoved her shoulder. “It’s totally okay if you’re taking them from your girlfriend, Chloe.”

“So I guess it’s down to how attached you are to your hair as it currently is.” Chloe knew some people were overly attached to their hair and freaked anytime someone suggested they cut it. She didn’t think Rachel was the overly attached type given she’d brought up potentially cutting it.

And then Rachel took it the wrong way, and she took a breath. “No it isn’t, but you aren’t my girlfriend, Rachel.” And again she braced herself.

"What?" Rachel turned towards Chloe, staring at her. There was a freezing sensation in her chest and her limbs felt heavy. All the good of her week seemed to drain away and she actually looked a little pale.

"Please tell me you're fucking with me."

Chloe looked at Rachel, noticing how she looked a little pale suddenly. She didn’t like hurting Rachel like this, but they hadn’t been together-together in about a year. And Chloe had given up on them ever being together again a few months before.

“I’m not fucking with you, I’m sorry.” Chloe would apologize for that, but she definitely wouldn’t apologize for her heart. And right now, she was interested in Ilia.

“I thought…” Rachel stood, pacing to the edge of the caboose, balling her hands up. Chloe was hers, what did that bitch think she was doing? Rachel could feel her footing growing unsure, her plans crumbling.

“Mark fucked me up. He fucked me up badly. I can see that so clearly now, you know? That wasn’t love. You are love. I just… I just needed to get my head back first.”

“I stopped believing I was love months ago,” Chloe responded bluntly. And she had. It had become starkly clear to her months ago that what Rachel really loved wasn’t her. She also hadn’t thought she’d meet someone like Ilia.

“I know Mark fucked you up, and I am here for you. Just not as your lover. I’m here as your friend.”

It wasn’t fair. Still facing away from Chloe Rachel wrapped her arms around her stomach, feeling nauseous, the refrain running through her mind. It wasn’t the healthiest or most mature response, but it was the most Rachel response. “You are! I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t! I was just too fucked up to see it until recently.”

This was about the kind of reaction Chloe had anticipated, though she’d expected more dramatics. But those might still be coming. “Again, as I said, I stopped believing that months ago. And knowing me, I’ll probably find some way to fuck things up with Ilia because fucking things up is what I do best. But I want to at least try and not spend my life wondering ‘what if.’ I have enough of that shit to deal with.” Chloe took a puff from her joint.

Or not deal with, as tended to actually be the case where Chloe was concerned.

“But I fucking do!” Rachel dug her nails into her palms until she felt the skin break, voice rising into a shriek that was oddly coincided by a gust of wind that blew her hair around and nearly sent her tumbling off the roof. She caught herself at the last moment.

Chloe took in a slow breath and closed her eyes. She really hadn’t wanted this to turn into an argument. She rubbed her forehead a bit. “Just because you do doesn’t mean I actually believe it. Because honestly, I don’t believe in much of anything anymore.” And she was relatively certain she’d screw things up with Ilia. After all, she’d probably pushed Rachel to Mark in the first place. Everything did tend to be her fault, but she’d never admit it.

Rachel shuddered, the breeze still blowing her hair around. She felt angry and self-destructive, and like Chloe had stabbed her in the back. “Fuck. Just…. fuck.”

BItterly, she asked, “Did you stop loving me?”

Chloe knew exactly how Rachel felt because that was how she’d felt after she’d been left behind. Only her self-destruction had been taken out on herself in the physical sense of it. She glanced down at her left wrist, one of her scars hidden behind several bracelets. “That’s the irony of it all, despite how you broke my heart, I still loved you. And I know part of me always will.”

Rachel walked over to Chloe, dropping to her knees in front of her and grabbing her shoulders, eyes red and full drama queen. “This isn’t how the story is supposed to go.”

She looked at Rachel, looking her in the eyes and noticing the full drama queen. “And how was it supposed to go? If it was supposed to be a fairytale, we would’ve left Tillamook together like we’d always planned.”

“That…. Wasn’t my fault. I know I fucked up. But it was supposed to be…” She let go of Chloe, sitting back on her heels. “Escaping from the monster and finding each other again.”

“We did escape the monster and find each other again. Just not as girlfriends.” There had been a window of opportunity when it could have been as girlfriends, but Mark had still been in the picture. And then Ilia had been there.

That still wasn’t the story that Rachel has expected, or wanted. She felt like she’d burned her whole life down for nothing. It wasn’t fair to Chloe, but she wasn’t thinking of fairness at the moment.

She just wanted Chloe, and was willing to try anything to have her, even if the idea grated on her. “I’ve always thought I’d have been willing to share you if Max showed up, and you loved her. Like a triangle without all the drama. Illia isn’t Max, but …”

Chloe looked at Rachel like she suddenly had two heads. “You are assuming that I could even get past the years of radio silence from Max and that she even felt the same way about me.” Yes, Chloe had loved Max, and that was part of why it still hurt worse than anything to know her former friend had just dropped her like a bad habit.

“I’m pretty sure Ilia isn’t the sharing type. And when it comes down to it, I’m too much of a jealous, petulant person to share anyone.” If feelings weren’t involved? Chloe could do it. Or under the right circumstances she could work to control her jealousy and petulant nature. But given she doubted Ilia was the sharing type, this wasn’t the right kind of situation.

Rachel unclenched her fingers, looking down at the blood she’d dug out of her palms. That wind kicked up again and something sparked near one of the old boxcar nearby. She needed to breathe, suddenly, needed air and distance and time to think instead of sitting there hyperventilating.

That was what she needed but what she wanted was to burn everything to the ground.

Like the train car that was suddenly smoking, the wind kicking up the smoke and flames that started to run up it.

Whatever Chloe had been thinking of saying went out of her head when she saw the smoke rising. Looking up, she saw the flames that were starting to engulf the train car. “Oh holy shit,” she said, completely forgetting about her joint as she scrambled to her feet. She looked around and wasn’t sure if she should find them a way out of there or if she should find something to put the fire out with.

Rachel stared at the fire, torn between shock and a little bit of awe. Like it was a beautiful sight, and she wondered why fire seemed to follow her everywhere she went. Isabela’s ship, her apartment, now this.

Was she somehow cursed?

“Shit. We’ve gotta get out of here, we’ll get blamed!” She grabbed for Chloe’s hand.

Now, Chloe wasn’t adverse to breaking the law, but she was adverse to getting caught and blamed for things. Especially when she didn’t do anything. So at hearing Rachel and feeling her hand on hers, Chloe snapped out of it and nodded a bit. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.” She didn’t want to sit around and wait for the authorities to show up and ask a million questions.

Rachel slid down the ladder, grabbing her backpack and quickly stuffing any personally identifying items from the caboose into it. And the pot and cigarettes, she had to save those too. “Grab anything important!”

Though in her panic, the fire was starting to spread to the caboose. Later, when she could breathe, Rachel would probably find that both hysterically and painfully poetic.

Chloe followed Rachel down the ladder and went about grabbing anything else important. Best to not leave anything that could identify them. She didn’t quite notice the fire spreading to the caboose until she started coughing upon inhaling some smoke.

“Fuck, Rachel we gotta go!” She called between coughs. Her lungs would hate her for a while after this.

“But…FUCK.” Rachel grabbed one last thing then pulled Chloe out of the caboose. Tears stung at her eyes, not just from the smoke. Losing the caboose felt the same like she was losing Chloe, cut adrift.

But she resolved herself, thinking that it didn’t matter. Chloe was hers first. She’d just have to be patient, and in the meantime she couldn’t risk losing her as a friend, either.

The fire started to spread even faster, almost supernaturally so, jumping from train car to train car and then engulfing the old train house.

She rushed after Rachel, leaving the train yard behind as flames engulfed the area. Chloe ran until her lungs burned and refused to let her run anymore.

“I...need….to stop,” she gasped. Stupid lungs losing their capacity because of her smoking habit. Not that she overly cared about that, but it was something she tended to grumble about when she needed to exert herself, like running for her life.

They were out of immediate danger, so Rachel slowed them down, leaving heavily against Chloe and staring at the inferno they’d left behind. She could still feel the heat, and it seemed to be contained for the moment, almost as if it stopped right at the boundary of the trainyard.

Rachel ran her fingers through her hair. “That..happened so fast.”

Chloe coughed a couple times and was breathing heavily as they slowed. Rachel was lucky that Chloe was remaining upright at the moment, otherwise they both would’ve fallen over. “Yeah, it did.”

Not wanting to hang around for long, Rachel shifted anxiously, looking between Chloe and the fire. “Are you all right?”

Finally catching her breath, Chloe watched the flames for some moments before she looked back at Rachel. “Yeah, I think so. Are you alright?”

Half-wishing she’d just burned up in the fire so she wouldn’t have to face her problems, Rachel shrugged. “I’ll be okay.”

She hoped this wouldn’t affect her ability to sing, but she didn’t seem to have been as badly affected as Chloe for reasons she didn’t understand.

Chloe nodded a bit and took a breath. That had been way more excitement than she’d anticipated going in, but it was what it was.

“I think we can just take it easy leaving the area now. We should be out of danger.” Maybe. Possibly. At any rate, as long as they continued to move away from the fire, she’d be good.